Breathless (9 page)

“No worries.”
He came around the desk to give her a hug. “The house is
spectacular, Jamie. I don’t think any other architect could have
captured my vision as well. Thank you.”

A flush of
pride came over her. Jamie knew Brent wasn’t an easy man to
impress. She was glad she had. “It’s my pleasure. I hope you and
Ava enjoy living there.”

He led her
toward one of the guest chairs and he sat on the corner of his
burled walnut desk. “I know we will. I’d like to pay you for your
work.”

“That’s not
necessary. It was a labor of love.” She smiled. “Besides, it earned
me high praise from my professors. That was the only reward I’d
been hoping for.”

“But you need
to let Ava and I do something to thank you for--”

She held up her
hand. “There is something you can do for me. That’s why I’m
here.”

“Just name
it.”

“I’m going
through a difficult time right now, trying to make sense of a lot
of things.” Confiding in Brent wasn’t easy, but she couldn’t move
on until she’d faced her mistakes.

“How can I help
you with that?” he asked, crossing his arms.

“When you and I
were together, you didn’t want to set a wedding date. Why?” Her
pride made it difficult to ask that question, especially since he’d
been so eager to set a date with Ava.

A smile tipped
his lips. “I guess I knew it wouldn’t work out between us. I wanted
it to, because I knew you were perfect for me on so many levels.
I’m sorry if that sounds harsh. I don’t mean to, it’s just…” He
sighed. “The first time I met Rea, I knew there was something
between you two.”

“You did?”

“Yeah. I tried
to be mature about it, tell myself it was over, that you weren’t in
love with him, you were in love with me. But I couldn’t deny the
chemistry between y’all. He was a part of your life, your family,
and I didn’t know how to deal with that. I guess that’s why I
instigated so many fights toward the end, because I was frustrated
with the whole situation.”

“I wish you’d
told me how you felt.” If he had, maybe she could have seen the
situation more clearly years ago.

“I tried. I
told you I wasn’t comfortable with y’all being friends. But it was
like you couldn’t help yourself. You couldn’t stay away from
him.”

Brent was
right. She’d told herself to put some distance between her and Eli
because their friendship bothered her fiancé, but she couldn’t do
it. In spite of her guilt, Eli, not Brent, was always her first
call when she had a problem or exciting news to share. That should
have told her what she needed to know, but she’d been too blind to
see it. And it was too late.

“I’m sorry.”
She looked Brent in the eye. “I’m sorry I didn’t take your feelings
into account. I’m sorry I hurt you.”

“I have a lot
to be sorry for too, Jamie. I certainly wasn’t a saint during our
relationship.”

“I let myself
believe I was in love with you for a long time after our break up,”
she said quietly, admiring the city skyline just over his shoulder.
“It was easier than admitting the truth.”

“That you were
really in love with Eli.”

“Yes.” She
tried to find the words to explain, but they didn’t come. “I
thought if he and I tried again and our relationship fell apart,
I’d lose him for good.”

Brent sat down
next to her. “No offense, but judging by the puffy eyes I see
behind that concealer, can I assume that’s already happened?”

“Yes.” She
stared out the window, refusing to look at him. If she saw sympathy
in his eyes, she would crumble. “How is it even possible the
perfect person is right there all along and you ignore it until
it’s too late?”

“I don’t think
it’s ever too late, Jamie. Especially where you and Eli are
concerned.” He smiled. “I ran into him at Jimmy’s and we had a beer
together.” He laughed at her shocked expression. “It seems you’re
not the only one who’s grown up. We have too.”

“What did he
say?” She knew she shouldn’t ask.

“It’s not what
he said, it’s how he said it. When I asked about you, he got that
look in his eye, the same one that used to make me crazy. I knew he
was still in love with you.”

“You’re wrong,”
she said, determined to stay strong. Maybe in the privacy of her
car she’d give in to the tears again, but not in front of Brent.
“He told me it’s time for him to move on.”

“Take it from
someone who knows, Jamie. You can tell yourself to move on and
forget about someone, but the heart is rarely willing to let you do
that. Especially when the person you’re trying to forget is the one
you were meant to be with. Forever.” He covered her trembling hand
with his, giving her an anchor, giving her hope.

“You’re talking
about you and Ava now, aren’t you?”

“I guess I am,
but I’m also talking about you and Eli.”

Jamie stood and
opened her arms to Brent. She lay her head on his shoulder. “I had
no idea why I was even coming here today. I sensed I needed
closure. Maybe I hoped you had some of the answers I was looking
for.”

“And did
I?”

She pulled back
to look at him, smiling. “You did.” She kissed his cheek. “I’m so
glad you and Ava found your way back to each other, Brent. I mean
that.”

He squeezed her
tight once more. “Thank you. I have complete faith that you and Eli
will too, Jamie. Don’t even question that.”

Jamie knew she
had to give Eli time and space, but if he loved her even half as
much as she loved him, they would find their way back to each
other.
Someday.

Two weeks after his
last conversation with Jamie, Eli sat at Jimmy’s bar eating a
burger and watching sports highlights, and Den walked in. His old
friend had left a couple of voice mail messages for him, but Eli
couldn’t find the courage to call him back. Den reminded him of
Jamie, and he couldn’t think of her without feeling miserable.

The morning
after their argument, he’d picked up the phone and dialed her
number. He’d planned on apologizing, but as it clicked over to her
to cheerful greeting, he realized he couldn’t go back. He didn’t
want to be
just
her friend. If he couldn’t be her lover,
maybe it was time to let her go.

“Hey, I thought
that was your truck outside,” Den said, slapping Eli’s back as he
straddled a stool. “You’re a hard man to get a hold of.”

“I’m sorry
about that, man,” Eli said, reaching for his soft drink. “I was
going to call…”

Den grinned.
He’d known Eli too long to believe his half-truths. “When? A year
from now, maybe two? Just ‘cause you and Jamie are on the outs
doesn’t mean you and I have to be, does it?”

Eli felt like a
coward for turning his back on Den. He didn’t deserve that. Den had
always had his back and Eli knew he always would. “I’m sorry, man.
I haven’t got a good excuse, so I won’t even pretend I do.”

The bartender
stopped by, and Den ordered the same as Eli: a quarter pound burger
with fries and a Coke. “It’s all good, buddy. I know this thing
with Jamie has to be taking its toll on you.” Den nodded his thanks
when the bartender placed his soft drink down on the bar.

“So she told
you what happened, huh?” Eli couldn’t say he was surprised. Jamie
and her brother had always been close.

“Yeah, she told
me, but I had to pry it out of her. She knows we’re tight. She
didn’t want what was goin’ on between y’all to affect our
friendship.”

God, Eli loved
that woman. He would until he took his last breath. No amount of
space or distance would change that. “That sounds like Jamie.”

“Yeah.” Den
reached for the ketchup when the bartender set his plate down. “So,
how are things goin’ with you and your new lady?”

“Okay, I
guess.” Eli pretended to watch sports highlights, hoping he
wouldn’t have to discuss his relationship with Belinda. Things
weren’t going well, and he knew that was his fault. He couldn’t get
Jamie out of his head.

“Jamie didn’t
tell me about her, if that’s what you’re thinking.” Den took a bite
of his burger.

Eli waited for
him to elaborate, but he didn’t. “Who told you I was seeing her
then?”

“Her
ex-husband. We work together.”

Eli knew Den
had more to say, but he couldn’t figure out why Den seemed so
reluctant to share. He’d brought Belinda up, so he must have a
reason. “He mentioned me? Why? Has he got a problem with my dating
his ex-wife?” Den continued eating. “Damn it, if there’s something
I need to know, you owe it to me to tell me.”

Den swallowed.
“Her ex came in one night pissed ‘cause he found out his ex-wife
was bangin’ some professional hockey player. I was blown away when
he told me it was you.”

“I’m not--” Eli
was going to say he’d never been intimate with Belinda, but he
sensed that didn’t matter. “Why was he mad? He still have a thing
for her, or what?”

“He’s been
sleeping with her ever since the divorce, man.”

Eli closed his
eyes. Given the choice, the women in his life always chose some
other guy. What the hell was wrong with
him
? “You believe
him?”

“Yeah, I do.”
Den sighed. “When I left the station, he was on his way over to her
house for a nooner. If you went by now, you’d probably catch them
in the act.”

“Son of a
bitch,” Eli whispered, pushing his plate aside and bracing his
elbows on the bar.

“I’m sorry, E,”
Den said. “I know this has gotta sting, but better you find out
now, right?”

“Yeah, better I
find out now.” The only thing that stung was that he’d believed
Belinda. What did that say about his judgement?

“What does this
mean for you and Jamie?” Den asked. “You gonna call her, or
what?”

“This doesn’t
change anything between me and Jamie.” Eli was frustrated that his
friend couldn’t see his love for Jamie was slowly killing him, not
Belinda’s betrayal.

“What are you
talking about? I just told you--”

“I heard what
you said.” Eli threw some bills on the bar. “Now you need to hear
what I’m saying, Den. If you and I are gonna go on bein’ friends, I
don’t wanna hear Jamie’s name again. Consider her off limits.”

***

Eli drove by
Belinda’s house half an hour later, and sure enough, she was making
out with her ex-husband. They were standing beside the driver’s
door of his pick-up truck, obviously saying their good-byes. At
least for the moment.

Eli threw his
SUV into park and hopped out with the vehicle still running. He
wouldn’t take long to say his piece.

“Oh my God,
Eli,” Belinda said, stepping out of the other man’s arms. “What are
you doing you here?”

In spite of
Eli’s attempts to convince himself their relationship was going
somewhere, he’d just been fooling himself. He felt nothing when he
saw Belinda in another man’s arms. Seeing Jamie with Brent all
those years ago had felt like alcohol being poured into an open
wound.

“I came to see
you.” He touched the brim of his baseball cap. “Hey, buddy.” Her ex
was obviously trying to decide whether Eli was intent on fighting
for Belinda.

“Uh… Sam was
just leaving,” she said, giving her ex a look that told him to make
himself scarce.

“Don’t leave on
my account.” Eli grinned, enjoying that they were waiting for his
next move. He loved using the element of surprise in his favor, on
and off the ice. “You know, a thought occurred to me as I pulled up
and saw y’all together.”

“What’s that?”
Belinda narrowed her eyes. She was obviously trying to make sense
of Eli’s calm demeanor.

Eli understood
their concern. He had a reputation for mixing it up on the ice and
drawing too many penalty minutes. When he was emotionally invested,
he often reacted without thinking about the consequences. In front
of Belinda and her ex, Eli was as calm as he’d ever been because
what he needed to do was so obvious. “Why’d y’all split up?” Eli
asked Sam.

“We, uh--” Sam
glanced at Belinda “--were arguing a lot. Things changed when she
went back to school. She didn’t have time for me anymore.”

“But you
obviously still love her. Why can’t you find a way to make it
work?”

Belinda’s mouth
fell open. “Eli, what--”

“And you’re
still in love with him. You accused me of letting Jamie get in the
way, and maybe I was letting my feelings for her prevent me from
moving on.” He chuckled. “Who the hell am I kidding? Jamie was
always on my mind. She probably always will be. But can’t you say
the same of Sam?”

Belinda looked
at her ex-husband, who was staring at her intently, awaiting her
response. “I’ll always have feelings for him, but we couldn’t make
it work the first time. What makes you think it could work this
time?”

Sam reached for
her hand. “People change. I’ve changed. I realized how much I
missed you.” He inclined his head toward Eli. “The thought of you
being with someone else, especially someone who could give you all
the things I can’t, made me crazy.”

“I’m gonna
leave y’all alone to work this out,” Eli said, “but can I give you
a piece of advice?”

“Sure,” Sam
said, never taking his eyes off Belinda.

“Don’t take
each other for granted. You’re right. People do change, and so do
circumstances. Just because you gave up on each other years ago
doesn’t mean you’d make the same mistake now.”

Belinda tore
her eyes from Sam long enough to give Eli a wry smile. “You plan on
taking your own advice with Jamie?”

Sam and Belinda
were obviously still in love, but things were different between him
and Jamie. Jamie had never given him any indication she wanted to
be more than his friend. “I don’t think it’s in the cards for us,”
Eli said, walking backward down the driveway. “But I hope y’all
find a way to work things out.”