Breed True (18 page)

But not with a sigh or a moan did she respond to him, either. She lay under him receiving his seed, and when he finished, she always rolled away and tended herself.

After the first night, she'd made it clear that his attentions after their coupling were both unnecessary and unwanted. He hadn't argued; maybe he should have.

"I'll not have more of your familiarity with my person, either. Babies aren't made that way, and that's what our deal is about." Her face was set in anger, and her words hard.

"You want a son. If that happens, so be it. But, the other"—her skin had turned rosy with embarrassment as they both remembered his mouth on her womanhood—"no more of the other."

He'd had more fun with his hand, he frequently admitted to himself. And the hell of it was—even though he knew that she was going to lie there like a washboard and be just as lively—he still wanted her every night, sometimes more than once. It disgusted him knowing that the situation was of his making, but he wasn't smart enough to see his way out of the mess.

So he mulled over the horse whisperer's words.
Talk to her. Give her presents.

* * * *

It took some doing and a trip to the Double-Q, where his sanity was questioned by the Quinces, but two nights later, he followed Dan's advice again.

"Come with me to the barn," he told Julie after the supper dishes were finished, the babies asleep, and Dakota and Dawn were cuddled in front of the fire. It remained a source of irritation that they'd taken up residence where Grady wanted to be with his own woman in his arms.

So his voice was gruff when he ordered Julie to get her coat on for a trip into the dark, cold night. He walked beside her and held the lantern above her right shoulder as an excuse to have his arm wrapped around her. Her feet squelched wetly in the snow, and she protested weakly, "Surely whatever this is could wait till morning."

"No, it can't." He couldn't waste another minute of his year with her in silent combat.

He couldn't explain his sudden overwhelming need to win her approval—maybe it was because spring was around the corner—maybe it was because every day she built the wall between them higher. He'd decided the wall was coming down.

They reached the barn and he tugged it open, shepherding her through the door he then closed and secured. Her eyebrows went up on the bar he set in place, locking out the world and them in.

But, he bided his time. First the present—then…

*

"Chickens?" Julie couldn't believe what she saw before her—three hens sharing nine baby chicks among them, to be exact.

Even as she asked, she crouched down beside the wire enclosure he had penned them in. Grady knelt beside her, opened the cage for a minute, and scooped up one of the yellow balls of fluff to hand to her.

Julie cupped the precious bit of life in her hands and tried to keep the moisture in her eyes from spilling over. "Why would you do such a thing?" The words trembled on her lips, but he shushed her question by covering her mouth with his.

"I want you, Julie. Want me too." He murmured the words against her lips, fumbling to get the chick back in its pen with one hand as he drew her into his arms with the other.

"It's too cold out here," she protested.

"I'll keep you warm."

She wasn't cold. He held her to him, lips hungrily tasting her, and she opened to him, relishing the feel of his tongue touching her own. Never lifting his head, he pulled her coat from her and shrugged out of his own, piling them behind them in the straw he'd already prepared.

When he cupped her breasts and kneaded them through the rough material of her dress, her moan of need broke free and loosed the hard control she'd maintained over the past two months.

He didn't ask permission but swept her under him, lifting her skirts as he tumbled her onto the bed of coats and straw. But, he didn't come into her as she expected. Instead, after he'd pushed her underclothes to her knees, then to the top of her boots, he parted her thighs and set his mouth on her.

"Grady, no." But even as she protested, her hips rose to meet the exquisite invasion.

"Yes," he mumbled against her folds, causing a tickling sensation that made her shiver. "Yes, yes, yes," he muttered the words from hole to clit and lifted her higher as his tongue, teeth, and lips set her aflame.

Julie's nipples were hard pebbles swollen with need. He aroused such want she pressed her hands against his head demanding more.

When his tongue entered her, she pushed against it. "More," she whispered. But he withdrew, causing a sob of distress, until he pushed two fingers into her, giving her what she begged for.

His drank the honey that flowed from her core, licked the soft inner flesh of her cleft, and sucked on the nub of nerves that seemed to swell and demand his attention. Her climax flowed over her in a stream of heat and bursting stars. She knew she shouted out, but had no recall of her own words later.

When she came back to herself, he was cradling her head on his shoulder. Her skirts were back in place, and he seemed content. When he nuzzled her neck, she could smell her scent on him, and it made her feel wicked at the same time arousal stirred again in her belly.

He hadn't come. She didn't have to slide her hand down his front and cup his jeans to know that. The length of his manhood was outlined as the denim stretched to contain it.

There are ways to pleasure a man without getting with child.
Before she could lose her nerve or question her sanity, Julie tugged open his pants. When she touched his swollen member, his breath hissed out, arousing her even more. She parted the flaps of his jeans and brought the full length of him into the open.

"Julie, no." His protest mimicked her own so closely, her first taste of him was wrapped in laughter.

"Yes," she fluttered the words around the head of his cock, tasting his pre-cum with the tip of her tongue.

"Yes, yes, yes," she murmured against the velvet hardness of his length, swirling her tongue against his thickness, sucking him with her mouth.

"Julie." It was a desperate groan she ignored. "Sweetheart, you've got me so hot, I can't hold back. You have to stop now." The jerky confession came from a man who controlled every facet of his life. Instead of allowing Grady reprieve, Julie opened her jaw wider and angled her throat to take him even deeper.

He clutched her hair and held her to him as his seed shot from him in an explosive gush that filled her throat and then her mouth as his manhood softened. When the last drop was spent, Julie rubbed her tongue along his cock, savoring the taste of him before she sat up and tucked him back inside his pants.

He stared up at her from his collapsed position on the coats, and she spoke her thoughts aloud. "You make me lose control. I make you lose control. Reckon that makes us even, Grady Hawks."

Chapter Fifteen

Julie prided herself on how well she had adjusted to this new life. After their foray in the barn, tension between them lessened considerably.
When the need for passion is on
him, Grady Hawks always finds a place to ease it.

Her thoughts were wry, because she knew that her need for that passion was as great as his. Their secret trysts were always the same, his lips on her, her mouth taking him.

Only then did she let loose her control and give him the release he wanted from her.

In the bed at night, when he penetrated her and left his seed next to her womb, she refused to give into passion. Ridiculous or not, she felt that her body would refuse his seed as long as she remained unresponsive.

The cabin was considerably more comfortable than when she'd been brought here four months before, and she was proud of the improvements to the men's lives she'd made. The food was cooked on time and served hot, she washed the denims for all of them, and she and Dawn had made the barren cabin into a home.

For three months of Julie's stay, the Indian girl had been with her, both as a helpmate and a friend. They worked beside each other, communicating when they needed, but mostly they used sign and not words. It was already early February, and the winter so far had been fierce, but it would soon end. She dreaded that as much as she welcomed it.

Dawn and her husband would be gone, and Julie would be alone with Grady Hawks and the girls. She hated the thought of the lonely days after the other woman left. She also feared the growing affection her daughters had for Grady. Already, they climbed on him in the evening, demanding his attention.

"
Ate,
" Emma would coo, wobbling in front of him. Amy's babble was still just that, but Emma's Kiowa "
father
" was very clear when he pretended to ignore her. Dawn was busy teaching them the Indian word that had an English meaning Julie refused.

"You have a good man." It was something that Dawn told her often, as though she wanted Julie to understand.

Julie always nodded agreement and let it go. She did not consider Grady Hawks her man.
We made a bargain. I am doing my best to fulfill it. Come November next, we'll be
gone.
If she told herself that enough, she thought she could prepare herself for the departure.

"I don't want the girls to get too attached to him," she tried to explain hesitantly.

"He's not their father, you know."

Dawn had shaken her head in denial, repeating, "
Cetan Ate
," and then stubbornly, in English, "Father Hawk."

It rattled her. She didn't tell Dawn that she planned to leave, but the other woman knew anyway.

One day they stood watching as Dakota and Julie's husband rode into the ranch yard.

There were icicles hanging from the horses' manes, and the men's breaths pumped out white in the air.

Grady Hawks looked as cold and proud as the mountainous landscape that surrounded him. Dawn nudged her and then picked up a length of Julie's hair.

"Your man is warmed by your fire." She tugged on the end of the red strand as though scolding Julie for ignoring something she should understand.

He'd been so sure he'd get her with child immediately they hadn't discussed the possibility that she could be carrying but undelivered at year's end. She had already been here four months, and in spite of his nightly attentions, and her former fertility, her womb was empty.

In eight months' time, Julie intended to be gone. The first month here, she could feel this place weaving bands around her heart. She'd worked hard to make herself useful. At first she'd been silly, falling back into her
what-ifs
.

What-ifs
had stopped shortly after Grady Hawks made it clear she was here for one reason—to present him with a child as soon as possible.

The day she handed the twins over to Dawn to nurse, she vowed she'd get her little family away from Grady Hawks and the Hawks Nest Ranch and never look back. Julie could tell that the longer she stayed, the harder it would be on her daughters. She refused to think of the passion that he unleashed in her. She preferred to think of it as gratitude that her daughters would have a grubstake in life.

The cow had wintered in comfort, giving her milk to her calf, while Dawn had assumed the role of wet nurse. When her resolve to remain aloof weakened, Julie reminded herself of the painful swelling of her breasts when he'd forced her to wean the girls.

This is a business deal to him. Presents are just his way to make the medicine go
down smoother
. So when Grady Hawks came to her each night to plant his seed, she lay still and passive, and willed her body to remain barren.

* * * *

March came and went, the winter turned into early spring, and Dawn weaned the twins, preparing to leave with Dakota. As soon as the mountain passes thawed enough for traveling, the two were headed to Mexico.

Grady watched enviously as the once-solemn Indian girl flirted with her husband. It was spring and the two were in love. Sometimes he caught Julie discreetly peeking at them, a puzzled look on her face.
Did she expect that from him? Did she want that?

He thought about asking her to stay beyond the year if she remained without child, wondering what he could offer beyond the girls' land deal. But remembering how Julie had wanted a written contract, he kept silent, figuring she'd see it as his intention to weasel out of their original agreement.

Every morning, he and the rest of the hands were out at first light, rounding up the cattle that had survived a hard winter. It kept Grady busy and his mind off what he couldn't change. The first break in the weather, he'd ridden to the high country and visited Hawk Canyon. The cave was swept clean, the fires cold.

When the Indians had gone, he didn't know. Dakota was unsurprised, and Grady felt the old resentment—he would always be part of two worlds, accepted in neither. On the way back to the cabin, Grady spied an elk and brought it down with a rifle shot.

"Be good to have fresh meat," he said to the Indian as they dressed out the carcass.

Dakota rolled the skin out to dry in the sun, and motioned at it. "For your woman—

give—maybe she stay in your lodge."

He was the second man urging Grady to give Julie a gift. It embarrassed him that the other men could see the weakness of his marriage.

* * * *

Spring sunshine melted the snow in the high elevations, and by April, Julie's friend prepared to leave. Grady loaded a pack horse with provisions for Dakota and Dawn as the two women said their
good-byes
. With silent tears wetting her cheeks, Julie watched until the two figures on horseback disappeared into the mountains.

The cabin seemed empty with Dawn no longer there. Julie dreaded the lonely days, and looked for excuses to wrap the girls in warm clothes, exploring outside the cabin. But this morning she could hear rain hitting the roof, playing a dreary tune.

Grady had risen early to join the hands who were already working the foothills in the spring roundup. He'd leaned over the bed, tucking blankets around her as he always did, and then dressed. Before he'd left, he said, "Don't worry about meals this week; we'll be camping in the hills, branding calves as they come in."