Brian Friel Plays 2 (15 page)

Maggie
That he’d have by Kate.

Kate
Maggie!

Jack
By all four of you! And what’s so efficient about that system is that the husband and his wives and his children make up a small commune where everybody helps
everybody
else and cares for them. I’m completely in favour of it.

Kate
It may be efficient and you may be in favour of it, Jack, but I don’t think it’s what Pope Pius XI considers to be the holy sacrament of matrimony. And it might be better for you if you paid just a bit more attention to our Holy Father and a bit less to the Great Goddess … Iggie.

Music
of
‘Anything
Goes’
very
softly
on
the
radio.

Chris
Listen.

Maggie
And they have hens there, too, Jack?

Jack
We’re overrun with hens.

Maggie
Don’t dismiss it, girls. It has its points. Would you be game, Kate?

Kate
Would you give my head peace, Maggie.

Chris
Gerry has it going!

Maggie
Tell me this, Jack: what’s the Swahili for ‘tchook-tchook-tchook-tchook-tchook’?

Jack
You’d love the climate, too, Kate.

Kate
I’m not listening to a word you’re saying.

Gerry
runs
on.

Gerry
Well? Any good?

Chris
Listen.

Gerry
Aha. Leave it to the expert.

Jack
I have something for you, Gerry.

Gerry
What’s that?

Jack
The plumed hat – the ceremonial hat – remember? We agreed to swap. With you in a second. (
He
goes
to
his
bedroom.
)

Maggie
Good work, Gerry.

Gerry
Thought it might be the aerial. That’s the end of your troubles.
(Listens.
Sings
a
line
of
the
song.)
Dance with me, Agnes.

Agnes
Have a bit of sense, Gerry Evans.

Gerry
Dance with me. Please. Come on.

Maggie
Dance with him, Aggie.

Gerry
(
sings
)

Give me your hand.

Maggie
Go on, Aggie.

Agnes
Who wants to dance at this time of –

Gerry
pulls
her
to
her
feet
and
takes
her
in
his
arms.

Gerry
(
sings
)

Bring
up
the
sound.
With
style
and
with
easy
elegance
they
dance
once
around
the
kitchen
and
then
out
to
the
garden
–
Gerry
singing
the
words
directly
to
her
face:

They
are
now
in
the
far
corner
of
the
garden.

You’re a great dancer, Aggie.

Agnes
No, I’m not.

Gerry
You’re a superb dancer.

Agnes
No, I’m not.

Gerry
You should be a professional dancer.

Agnes
Too late for that.

Gerry
You could teach dancing in Ballybeg.

Agnes
That’s all they need.

Gerry
Maybe it is!

He
bends
down
and
kisses
her
on
the
forehead.
All
this
is
seen
–
but
not
heard
–
by
Chris
at
the
kitchen
window.
Immediately
after
this
kiss
Gerry
bursts
into
song
again,
turns
Agnes
four
or
five
times
very
rapidly
and
dances
her
back
to
the
kitchen.

There you are. Safe and sound.

Maggie
I wish to God I could dance like you, Aggie.

Agnes
I haven’t a breath.

Gerry
Doesn’t she dance elegantly?

Maggie
Always did, our Aggie.

Gerry
Unbelievable. Now, Chrissie – you and I.

Chris
(
sharply
)
Not now. I wonder where Michael’s got to?

Gerry
Come on, Chrissie. Once round the floor.

Chris
Not now, I said. Are you thick?

Maggie
I’ll dance with you, Gerry! (
She
kicks
her
 
wellingtons
off.
)
Do you want to see real class?

Gerry
Certainly do, Maggie.

Maggie
Stand back there, girls. Shirley Temple needs a lot of space.

Gerry
Wow-wow-wow-wow!

Maggie
Hold me close, Gerry. The old legs aren’t too reliable.

She
and
Gerry
sing
and
dance:

Chris
suddenly
turns
the
radio
off.

Chris
Sick of that damned thing.

Gerry
What happened?

Maggie
What are you at there, Chrissie?

Chris
We’re only wasting the battery and we won’t get a new one until the weekend.

Maggie
It wasn’t to be, Gerry. But there’ll be another day.

Gerry
That’s a promise, Maggie. (
He
goes
to
Chris
at
the
radio
.)
Not a bad little set, that.

Kate
Peace, thanks be to God! D’you know what that thing has done? Killed all Christian conversation in this country.

Chris
(
to
Agnes,
icily
) Vera McLaughlin’s calling here tomorrow. She wants to talk to you and Rose.

Agnes
What about?

Kate
(
quickly
) I didn’t tell you, did I? – her daughter’s got engaged!

Maggie
Which of them?

Kate
‘The harvest dance is going to be just supreme this year, Miss Mundy’ – that wee brat!

Maggie
Sophia. Is she not still at school?

Kate
Left last year. She’s fifteen. And the lucky man is sixteen.

Maggie
Holy God. We may pack it in, girls.

Kate
It’s indecent, I’m telling you. Fifteen and sixteen! Don’t tell me that’s not totally improper. It’s the poor mother I feel sorry for.

Agnes
What does she want to talk to us about?

Chris
(
relenting
)
Something about wool. Didn’t sound important. She probably won’t call at all. (
She
turns
the
radio
on
again.
No
sound.
To
Maggie
)
Go ahead and dance, you two.

Maggie
Artistes like Margaret Mundy can’t perform on demand, Chrissie. We need to be in touch with other forces first, don’t we, Gerry?

Gerry
Absolutely. Why is there no sound?

Kate
Maggie, are we never going to eat?

Maggie
Indeed we are – outside in the garden! Eggs Ballybeg
al
fresco.
Lughnasa’s almost over, girls. There aren’t going to be many warm evenings left.

Kate
Good idea, Maggie.

Agnes
I’ll get the cups and plates.

Gerry
(
with
Chris
at
radio
)
Are you all right?

Chris
It’s not gone again, is it?

Gerry
Have I done something wrong?

Chris
I switched it on again – that’s all I did.

Maggie
Take out those chairs, Gerry.

Gerry
What about the table?

Maggie
We’ll just spread a cloth on the ground.

Maggie
exits
with
the
cloth
which
she
spreads
in
the
middle
of
the
garden.
Gerry
kisses
Chris
lightly
on
the
back
of
the
neck.

Gerry
At least we know it’s not the aerial.

Chris
According to you.

Gerry
And if it’s not the aerial the next thing to check is the ignition.

Chris
Ignition! Listen to that bluffer!

Gerry
Bluffer? (
to
Agnes
as
she
passes
)
Did you hear what she called me? That’s unfair, Agnes, isn’t it?

Agnes
smiles
and
shrugs.

Let’s take the back off and see what’s what.

Rose
enters
the
garden
from
the
back
of
the
house.
At
first
nobody
notices
her.
She
is
dressed
as
in
Act
1.
In
her
right
hand
she
holds
the
dead
rooster
by
the
feet.
Its
feathers
are
ruffled
and
it
is
stained
with
blood.
Rose
is
calm,
almost
matter-of-fact.
Agnes
sees
her
first
and
goes
to
her.
Chris
and
Gerry
join
the
others
in
the
garden.

Agnes
Rosie, what is it, Rosie?

Rose
My rooster’s dead.

Agnes
Oh, Rosie …

Rose
(
holding
the
dead
bird
up
)
Look at him. He’s dead.

Agnes
What happened to him?

Rose
The fox must have got him.

Agnes
Oh, poor Rosie …

Rose
Maggie warned me the fox was about again. (
to
all
) That’s the end of my pet rooster. The fox must have got him. You were right, Maggie. (
She
places
it
carefully
on
the
tablecloth
in
the
middle
of
the
garden.
)

Maggie
Did he get at the hens?