Brides of Idaho (40 page)

“And let all those men stare at you?” It was cruel but necessary.

Her face crumpled, but she did not cry. “Trace, you have a problem.”

“I’m aware of that.” The only solution for it was to move on.

Cora packed reluctantly. He saddled the horses and hung their belongings on each. They mounted and headed for the ferry, arriving in time for the last crossing north.

He expected to put a goodly distance between themselves and Bonners Ferry before he’d find a place to camp for the night.

“Where are we going?” Cora asked, a good deal of exasperation lacing her words.

“Might as well go look for gold.”

She harrumphed, a sound so much like their ma used to make that Trace stared.

“You will never find enough gold to replace the friendship and love Mandy offered you.”

“I intend to try.”

“You’ll never succeed.” She turned her attention to the cat in her arms, dismissing Trace.

As they rode, he relived every minute of the visit from Austin and Mandy. Why had Mandy brought him? Out of malice? He couldn’t think so.

Then why?

The answer dawned, slow and certain.

Because she wanted to help him. She thought seeing Austin would serve some good purpose.

He warred with his anger. Only it wasn’t fury that caused his stubborn refusal to face the truth. It was pride. He could not let go of his righteous resentment that justice had been denied him… that friends had proven false.

He’d prayed for God to help him. Then Mandy said Austin could help him. Had God sent an answer? But why would He choose Austin—his ex-friend and enemy—to carry a message to him? His conscience asked, was he willing to listen to Austin if it meant relief from this burning, unyielding hate and unhappiness?

Mandy rushed past the stopping house. She went on until she reached a grassy hillside overlooking the river where there was no traffic.

She threw herself on the grass and pounded the turf till her fists ached. She lay there crumpled for a while, but the tears wouldn’t come. At last she sat up and stared at the water gurgling past.

Trace said he never wanted to see her again. He was determined to remain miserable, rejecting every good gift God offered. Wallowing in his hate like a pig in mud. But she couldn’t remain angry. Instead, wave after wave of pain and despair washed over her.

She heard Glory approach but didn’t bother to look up.

Glory sank to Mandy’s side, their arms brushing. “Joanna told me Trace’s old friend showed up asking after him. What happened?”

“I took him to see Trace.”

Glory waited without comment.

“The man said he’d changed. Said he regretted any part he’d had in what the Bushwhackers had done. He wanted to ask Trace’s forgiveness. I thought it would help Trace to talk to him, so I took him to see Trace.”

“I’m guessing it didn’t go well.”

“Trace chased us away. Said he never wanted to see me again.” Her voice broke. Her nose stung, and she sniffed. “I always think I can fix things for people. I should let them sort out their own problems.”

Glory wrapped her arm around Mandy. “Sweetie, you only want people to be happy. Nothing wrong with that.”

“Then why did it turn out so bad?” She rested her head on Glory’s shoulder.

“Because you can’t force people to change. They have to decide that on their own.”

“Then I guess I don’t stand a chance with Trace. He’s too pigheaded to give up his anger.”

“It’s a pretty big thing to give up. After all, his parents were murdered, and no justice was offered. But remember, ‘With God all things are possible.’”

“That’s what Levi told Trace.”

Glory gave a soft laugh. “It’s one of his favorite verses.”

They sat in contemplative silence for a moment before Mandy spoke again. “What am I supposed to do now? He said to never come back.”

“Keep loving him. Keep praying. Don’t give up.”

It was good advice from a sister who’d kept loving and praying until she and Levi sorted out their problems. “Guess if it worked for you, it can’t fail for me.”

Glory snorted. “You’re saying your problems are nothing compared to mine?”

Mandy tried to laugh but couldn’t. “If only it were so.”

Glory got to her feet and reached down to pull Mandy up. “I don’t imagine any of them are big compared to God’s power. Now let’s get home before Joanna gets really worried.”

The next morning, Mandy rose with a plan in mind. She would return to the clearing and act like nothing had happened. If Trace wanted to get rid of her, he’d soon discover he would require a lot more than angry words.

Three times on the way up the trail she almost changed her mind, remembering the look on Trace’s face when he saw Austin and the way he’d driven them away. But she would not let things between them end in such a fashion. Fact was, she didn’t intend to let them end at all.

She stepped into the clearing and halted, waiting for Trace’s reaction. Silence. Had he seen her coming and ducked away? Taken Cora with him? “Trace, I’m here.”

Nothing. Why, he’d even taken down the tent. Why would he do that?

A dreadful suspicion scratched at her brain. She looked for his horses. Gone. Unless he’d moved them out of sight.

She circled the area. The campfire was cold. No pots or dishes lay about. Perhaps they’d moved into the cabin. But she didn’t need to go any farther than the door to see the inside was empty.

She darted around the cabin. No tools. Nothing. She went to her twig house and stepped inside. It, too, was empty.

They were gone.

She returned to the middle of the clearing and turned around twice.

Trace had left. Without good-bye. Without telling her. He couldn’t be more obvious that he wanted nothing more to do with her.

She collapsed to her knees. “Oh God, why didn’t You stop him?” The words rang with a familiar tune. How often had she called out to God the very same thing when Pa left yet again?

“Oh God, bring him back. Please.”

Her voice rang out in the silence. “I’ll go after him.” But she knew the futility of trying to catch up to a man who didn’t want to be found. Pa had taught her that lesson well.

She sank into a ball, her palms on the ground, and groaned. She loved Trace, exasperating as he could be, but when had her love ever been enough?

She knew he loved her, too. But his anger and hate quenched it.

For a long time she didn’t move. Barely breathed. Didn’t want to feel but couldn’t stop the pain any more than she could stop the sun from shining.

Glory’s words seemed to echo from a distant place.
“With God all things are possible.”

Was their love possible?

Could she trust God to make it so?

“Who else can I trust?” she whispered. But real trust rested in knowing God would fulfill His promises.

She struggled a moment longer. Trace had every reason in the world to be angry, unwilling to forgive. Only God could show him another way. With bowed head she asked for that to be accomplished.

One thing she knew, besides God’s faithfulness. Trace loved her. Surely one day, with God’s help, his love would conquer all else and he would return.

Maybe not today. Or tomorrow. Or even next week.

But when he did, he would need a house. She pushed to her feet and faced the log cabin. Only a little left to be done on the roof before it was finished.

When he returned, he would find the house ready to live in.

She climbed the ladder to the roof and set to work.

As she hammered, her heart grew calm and steady, knowing God would also be busy doing His work in Trace’s heart.

She paused, the hammer suspended midair, and listened. Voices. People were coming. She sank back out of sight on the far side of the roof and waited. Hopefully, the strangers would pass on by, because she was in a precarious, vulnerable position.

The sound of horse hooves stopped. She clung to the roof and waited.

But the riders didn’t continue. They turned in and came toward the clearing.

“This is home now.”

Cora? That was most certainly Cora’s voice. Who did she talk to? Dare she hope?

She rose to her knees and stared down at the pair. “Trace?”

He looked up. Saw her there and stared hard. He blinked and stared again. “Mandy, what are you doing on the roof?”

“Trace. Cora.” She scrambled down the ladder and ran toward him. “You’ve come back.” Had Trace come back because he loved her? She paused.

But Trace swung off his horse and ran toward her, caught her in his arms and hugged her to his chest. “I had to come back.”

“Why?”

Cora dismounted, gathered Goliath in her arms. “Because my big brother can be very smart at times.” She headed for the woods.

Mandy leaned back to study Trace’s face, her heart clamoring up her throat at the way his eyes shone, his gaze sought hers and clung. “What did she mean?”

“She thinks I’ve come to the right decision.”

Mandy waited.

He led her to one of the logs they used as a bench and pulled her down beside him, never letting her out of his arms. “Remember how I said hate poisoned love?”

She nodded.

“Well, only if I choose to hold on to hate rather than love.” He again searched her face, as if he couldn’t get enough of it, had forgotten overnight what she looked like. “I figured it made more sense to let it go and choose love.” He traced the line of her jaw with his fingertips, sending delicious bubbles of joy through her veins. “Mandy, I choose love because my heart can hold nothing else when I am with you. Oh, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying I’ll never get angry.”

“Of course not,” she murmured. “I get angry, too. You may have noticed.”

He smiled and continued. “Or that I won’t chafe at the injustice of my parents’ murder.”

“Nor should you.” She struggled to concentrate on what he said. She watched his lips move and wished he would say where she fit into all this.

“Mandy Hamilton, I love you. I want to spend the rest of my days seeing your smile, laughing at your tricks, growing and learning and being a family with you.” His smile reached deep into his eyes and even deeper into her heart.

“Glad you finally found some sense.” She took a deep breath. “Trace Owens, I love you. I want to spend my days with you, too. I want to be with you through your bad times and your good. I want you to hold my hand when I go through bad times and share my joy when I go through good.”

“Mandy, will you marry me?”

“Just name the day.”

He didn’t. Instead, he cradled her face in his palms and bent to kiss her, a kiss full of promises for sweet tomorrows.

They leaned against the cabin wall, arms wrapped around each other, and talked about the ways God had taught them to trust His promises. And still later, as the sun began to set and they’d discussed plans with Cora, a visitor approached the yard.

Austin stood before Trace. “I won’t leave until you hear what I have to say.”

Trace nodded, his eyes wary, and invited Austin to sit on the log bench. His posture remained stiff, but he held his tongue and let Austin explain all that happened.

“I’m truly sorry. I never meant any of this to happen. Will you forgive me?”

Mandy held her breath. All her thoughts and prayers, all of Trace’s agonizing, had come to this moment.

Trace paused, his throat working, and gave a curt nod. A decisive nod. “I forgive you.”

They shook hands; then Austin gripped Trace’s shoulder. “Thank you.”

“I only regret those responsible weren’t brought to justice.”

“Perhaps they were.” Austin shrugged. “The three leaders were shot in an ambush a few months after you left. The rest of the gang dispersed. I’m sure many of them went South to sign up somewhere. But I’m equally certain many of them disappeared, sick of the life they’d lived.”

Trace sucked in air. He pressed his hands to his thighs.

Mandy watched him closely. Would he see this as justice or travesty?

His hands relaxed. His shoulders lowered. “It’s relief to know they won’t kill anyone else and will meet judgment at God’s hands.”

Mandy gritted her teeth to stifle her whoop of joy. Grinning, she went to Trace’s side.