Bridge of Hope (9 page)

“Oh, yeah, sure.” I reached for a can and passed it back to her. She smiled and blushed. Too fucking cute for words.

She scrunched her face. “You’re Gregory, aren’t you?”

She knows who I am?
I gulped in disbelief and must’ve looked ridiculous opening and closing my mouth like a fucking goldfish.

“Yeah. That’s… that’s me.” I nodded emphatically as heat rose in my cheeks.

“You play guitar, don’t you?” she asked with her head to one side and a playful look in her eyes. I nodded again. C
ome on, fucking stupid mouth, work!
Despite my chastising myself, intelligent words wouldn’t form.

Tilting her head to the other side, she bit her lip for a moment. “I think guitarists are hot.” And with that she got up and walked away, glancing over her shoulder and almost electrocuting me with a killer smile.

“Oy! Are you moving or what?” came an angry voice to the side of where I was apparently superglued to the floor in the lunch line.

My head swivelled around to the pissed-off guy. “Aye. Sorry, mate. Sorry.” I shuffled on.

Later that same day I was walking back to my digs when someone behind me shouted my name. I stopped and turned around. It was her.

“Wait. God, you walk fast.” She panted.

“Sorry, I was just on my way home.”

“Want some company?”

“Sure. Yeah. You not going home yoursel’?”

“Na’. Not yet. Thought I’d come and see where
you
live first.” She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth again. All the blood in my body rushed south, and I hoped to God she couldn’t see what was happening down there.

“So, Gregory—”

“Call me Greg, all my friends do.”

A wide smile spread across her stunning face. “So, Greg, do you have a girlfriend?”

“Girlfriend? Me? Erm… no.”

“Would you like one?”
Fuck, she certainly isn’t backward at coming forward, that’s for sure.

Feeling a little braver, I smiled back. “You offering?”

“I’d have to get to know you better first,” she replied.

“Sounds good to me.” I couldn’t quell the shit-eating grin that had taken up residence on my ugly mug.

And that’s how the thing started.

January 1994

We were all going out around Oban. There were a few clubs that played great music, and a gang of us decided we’d go out and get pissed, have a laugh, do some dancing, you know?

I called for Alice around seven thirty. She opened the door to her room and there she stood, short, tight black skirt, thick black stockings, muckle clumpy boots—sounds crap, but believe me, she looked fucking hot as hell—and a tie-dyed cropped top. Her black leather jacket finished off the ensemble nicely. My mouth fell open. I wanted to shove her back on the bed and get her out of the silly clothes that were in my way, but as if reading my mind she shook her head and wagged her finger at me.

“Not yet, Mr McBradden. You’ll get yours later tonight.” Once again, a sudden rush of blood to my favourite organ. By the way, sex with her was amazing. I had nothing to compare it to—her being my first—but oh wow, I didn’t care. She was horny as anything and couldn’t get enough. Which was fine with me.

We arrived at Club Zero and met with the rest of our group of friends. Some had been there awhile and were already on their merry way to pissed-up land. I grabbed us a couple of drinks from the bar and we made our way over to the group. “Fade Into You” by Mazzy Star played over the PA system, and I watched Alice sway to the music with her eyes closed. She was so incredibly sexy in
everything
she did.

And she knew it.

The song ended and we drank a little more. Her eyes were glazing over and she was totally relaxed. The next song was the Cowboy Junkies version of “Sweet Jane”.
It was a song that Alice and I had made love to on more than one occasion. We were on the dance floor together and with her back to me she ground herself into me as we swayed to the music. A guy appeared in front of her and started dancing with her like I was fucking invisible. I clenched my jaw as I watched her respond to him. She turned her back to him and faced me. I grimaced at him, hoping the words “Yeah, fuck you, pal” were clear in my face. But to my utter fucking shock, she lifted her arms up, letting them fall behind her head, and draped them around his neck.

With her eyes fixed on mine she ground her arse back into him as I watched. My heart rate picked up and my hands balled into fists by my sides. I clenched my jaw. This was
our
fucking song. What was she playing at? The guy leaned down and began to kiss her neck as she closed her eyes for a moment. I stopped moving my feet and raised my clenched fists, ready to fly at him. When her eyes opened, she licked her lips at me. The bastard lifted his hand and ran it up her top, grabbing her breast. W
hat the fuck?
Confusion and anger washed over me in equal measures. Why was she doing this? She fixed her hooded gaze on me as he fondled her and my nostrils flared.

I was ready to kill him.

Two can play this game, lady.
I grabbed the brunette that was dancing beside me and had desperately been trying to get my attention for the last twenty minutes. I put my arms around her, slid my hands down to her arse and squeezed. She gazed up at me and slipped her arms around my shoulders. I glanced over at Alice, who was frowning now.
Ha! Not liking the taste of your own medicine, eh?
She turned around and stuck her tongue down the guy’s throat and I just about hit the fucking roof.

Without thinking, I shoved the brunette aside, lunged forward, and punched the bastard in the face; knocked him out cold. After that I stormed out of the place. I’d had enough. I just couldn’t figure her out. I thought we
meant
something.

I heard footsteps behind me and someone grabbed my arm. I swung around and was met with an angry stare. “What the fuck was that in there, Greg?” she shouted in my face.

“I could ask you the same fucking question! What were you doing?” I shouted back, raising my hands in exasperation.

“I wanted you to watch, Greg. I wanted you to see that other men find me attractive. You’re so fucking into your music that you ignore me! Well, you won’t do that again, will you?” A manic grin appeared on her face. What the hell was
wrong
with her?

“I don’t want to watch you with another fucking man. What kind of sick pervert do you think I am, eh?”

Her laughter was filled with derision. “Oh, come on, Greg. Don’t be such a prude.”

“What man
would
want to see that? You’re
my
girlfriend, Al, not his.”

At that her eyes widened. And then out of nowhere she drew her hand back and punched me. A right hook to my left cheek. I staggered backwards, holding my face.

She lurched toward me angrily. “You don’t
own
me, Greg. I’m not an object. I’m a person. Don’t ever act like I
belong
to you again. If I want to dance with another man, I’ll do it.”

I stood there open mouthed as she rubbed her hand and began to cry. For some unknown reason I felt
sorry
for her. She was insecure even though I’d never given her reason to be.

I pulled her into my arms and held her tight. “Hey, come on. What’s all this about, Al? Eh?”

She sobbed into my chest and clung to my shirt. “I wanted your attention. That’s all. You’ve been spending so much time playing with the guys that I felt neglected. I wanted to teach you a lesson.”

My face crumpled in confusion and I pulled away to gaze into her bloodshot eyes. “Alice, you’ve been at
every
jam session with me when I’ve been playing. I haven’t been ignoring you at all.”

“But… I want you to myself sometimes.” She hiccupped.

I stroked her hair back from her face and kissed her. My cheek was throbbing and I was a little freaked out by what had just happened, but I put it down to the drink.

Sadly it wasn’t the only time she struck me in anger. But for some reason unbeknownst to me, I put up with her temper. I think I kidded myself that I loved her. The next big blow, however, wasn’t a physical one.

We’d been together two years…

June 1995

There was a knock on the door to my room and I threw down my pen. I’d been trying to compose a song for the band I was setting up with my best mate, Connell, but my head was filled with cotton wool thanks to a serious lack of sleep. I wasn’t expecting anyone and almost decided to ignore the intrusion. But the person knocked again, softly this time, and I went and answered it.

Alice stood in the doorway, her eyes were red rimmed and she twisted a tissue in her hands. I inhaled sharply. “Hey, what’s wrong, babe?”

“Oh, Greg, I’m so sorry.” She flung her arms around my neck and sobbed into my T-shirt. I lifted her from the ground and walked into my small room. Placing her on the bed, I sat beside her, moving my notes out of the way.

I tilted her chin up so that her eyes met mine. “Please tell me what’s wrong, Alice. You’re worrying me.”

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry.” Her slurred words were interspersed with body-shaking sobs. Dread filled me. She’d had an affair. I was sure of it. After the way things had gone with us recently, I was beginning to think we weren’t meant to be.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm the storm raging beneath my skin as I thought about her being unfaithful. I hated the idea. She should’ve dumped me first. “Alice, just tell me.”

“I’m… Greg… I’m four weeks pregnant.”

Chapter Twelve

June 1995

My mouth fell open and I could swear my heart stopped for a split second. I let go of her and stood up, running my hands through my hair. I peered down at her, sitting there, sobbing. She looked…
broken
. I rubbed my hands over my face and let out a long huff of air. What the hell did we do now?

She gazed up at me. “You have to know, Greg that I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

“But… you’re on the pill. I don’t… I don’t get it, Alice… how…?”

She shrugged. “They don’t always work. They’re only… like… ninety-something percent reliable.”

“Fuck.” The word fell out of my mouth as I closed my eyes. This was my worst nightmare come true. I loved sex. Couldn’t get enough of it. But I had
never
expected this. I thought that we were protected.
Fucking idiot.

I sat beside her again and leaned my elbows on my knees. “What… erm… what do we do now?”

“I have no idea, Greg. I’m so scared.” I turned to see her lip trembling and my heart broke. This was
my
fault.
I’d
done this. I know they say it takes two to tango, but I should’ve worn condoms as well. This was a stupid male pride thing. I hated condoms. And she was my first, so I knew I wouldn’t give her anything. Pregnancy never entered my thoughts.

Until now.

It was time to step up and be a man. I had some major decisions to make, but I had to be a fucking adult and grow a pair of metaphorical bollocks. Ironic thought pattern, considering the mess my
actual
bollocks had gotten me into.
Fuck. Me… a daddy? Fuck.

We sat there in silence for a long while until Alice stood. “I think I should go, Greg. We both need time to adjust. And then we need to decide the way forward.”

I stood before her and cupped her face in my hands.

“Marry me.” The words fell out of my mouth before I’d really thought them through—and as soon as they had, I clamped my stupid mouth shut.

Her face lit up. “What? Greg, are you serious?”

No going back now
. “Well… we’re going to have a baby and… we need to make a proper commitment. We need to be a family for this little one,” I said sliding my hand down across her tummy.

Tears over spilled her chocolate-brown eyes and she hugged me hard. “Oh, Greg, you’ve made me so happy. I thought I was going to have to get rid of it. I thought we’d be over. But… Oh, Greg.”

“No, no, we’ll be fine. We’ll be fine.” I said it for my benefit more than for Alice’s. What the hell had I done?
Idiot!
I was twenty-one and not ready to be either a husband
or
a father.

~~~

August 1995

We stood outside Oban registry office as Connell snapped photos. Alice’s friend Anna did the same. I forced smiles and cringed as Alice clung to me and posed for the camera. Her simple wedding band was flashed at the lens in every shot. She was
so
proud of it. We’d gone for silver bands as we couldn’t afford gold. Connell and Anna had been our witnesses, and the service had been over in fifteen minutes. We’d decided to get wed before Alice’s bump started to show and she couldn’t fit into a nice dress.