Brilliant Hues (8 page)

B
ri tossed a pillow at Juliet, missing her by miles. “No one wants tea sandwiches, Juliet. Starving. For Brownies!”

Juliet passed the pillow to Pippa. “You’re the pitcher. Make sure you hit her in the nose. I made you a three-course snack, Bri. The least you can do is enjoy it.”

Bri caught the pillow inches in front of her face. “Okay, okay. Tea sandwiches it is.”

Juliet laid out a white tablecloth on the carpet and gave us each a white plastic plate, the fancy kind that looks like china until you pick it up. She had plastic champagne flutes, and she passed around sparking apple cider.

“I’ll be right back with the first course,” she said. “Cheers.”

“Brownies!” Bri whined.

“Be nice, Bri,” Alice said. “She worked hard.”

Juliet brought back a three-tiered plate piled with tea sandwiches. She set it in the middle of the circle and pointed out the different flavors as she explained. “I made cucumber and cream cheese, rosemary chicken salad, peanut butter Doritos — in honor of Sadie and Pippa—pesto, brie, and tomato, and smoked gouda, turkey, and dill pickle. The dill pickles are for you, Bri.”

“What’s for me?” Alice asked, pretending to pout.

“The next course,” Juliet said. “You’ll see.”

We dug in, and even Bri got over her brownie fixation as she crunched into the dill pickle sandwiches.

“We think we have a plan,” Alice told Pippa and me.

Not what I wanted to hear.

“What?” Pips asked.

“Margo has no ideas. Her teammates never agree on anything. The only thing they’ve decided is to use black fabric and to ring their eyes with eyeliner so they look tough,” Alice said.

“So, Margo will just lose on her own?” I asked hopefully.

“We don’t have to count on it,” Bri said. “Since Margo has already started snooping around, trying to swipe our designs, we’ll just make it easy for her to cheat. Each designer has their own room where the other designers aren’t supposed to go. While we work, we’re totally isolated. If we leave the door unlocked, and maybe drop a few hints about being away for awhile, and rig up a video camera so we make sure to catch her, we’ve got her.”

“You want her to cheat?” I asked.

“If she copies Bri’s idea, probably the two of them will tie,” Juliet said. “The other designer YaoYao is good, but she isn’t as good as Bri. If Bri and Margo tie, we’ll force Margo to forfeit the win and give it to Bri.”

“Or else we’ll show the video of her cheating,” Alice added.

“So by tempting Margo to cheat, you’re basically making sure Bri will win?”

“Perfect, isn’t it?” Juliet asked.

I exchanged a look with Pippa, who now picked at her sandwich nervously. Didn’t they realize they were planning to cheat in order to catch a cheater? Pips knew. I could see the worry clearly on her face. Maybe she’d thought more about what I’d said about blackmail after all.

“Maybe we should just let Margo lose on her own, like Sadie said,” Pippa finally said.

“You can’t just wait for everything to work out on its own,” Alice said. “Sometimes you have to take things into your own hands.”

“I’m just not sure cheating is the right — ”

Alice made an exasperated sound. “What? I suppose you two think we should just pray about it?”

Pips flinched at the sarcasm in Alice’s voice. Grant was wrong. The moment had come and I had absolutely no idea what to say. The silence crackled with tension.

Finally, Pips sighed. “What do you want Sadie and me to do?”

Bri clapped her hands and made a little squeal of happiness. “I knew you’d come through. Come to the show.
Snap some photos. Document the moment of misery for Margo, and maybe we’ll send her an album. You know, so she doesn’t forget that cheating doesn’t pay.”

The matching triumphant expressions on my friends’ faces made the tea sandwiches gurgle in my stomach. I couldn’t look at Pips, not now.

“I’ll be back,” I said, hurrying out of the room and down the stairs.

As I headed for the back door, wanting some air, I passed the living room where Grant sat, watching something on his iPad. I heard a familiar voice.

“The device tests for a genetic strain of cancer,” the man said.

I moved closer to see if it really was Tyler on screen.

Grant glanced up, saw me, and motioned to the space on the couch next to him. “Tyler gave the interview, and your Dad passed the footage on to me …”

The reporter who’d grilled Tyler on the church steps steepled her fingers. “You’re working with a mediator in order to secure your patent, is that right?”

Tyler sat straight and still, his expression mild. “Yes. Karl and I have a difference of opinion on how the device, which is now in preliminary stages, should be tailored. He feels we should test adults, to prescreen for the possibility of the gene in their children. In his opinion, when a mother and father have a high likelihood of passing on the gene, families should adopt or not have children at all instead of subjecting a child to the possibility of this cancer. I had always planned
to test children. Studies have begun to show that proactive use of hormones at an early age can effectively ‘shut off’ the gene, stopping the cancer.”

I leaned forward, my interest peaked, as the reporter asked the question I wanted to know. “Why don’t doctors treat all children with the potential gene?”

“Cost, mostly,” Tyler answered. “And the hormones aren’t harmless. Like any other treatment, complications are possible.”

The reporter frowned. “And why can’t the device do both? Test both adults and children? Leave it up to the individual and their doctor how they want to proceed?”

“Exactly!” I felt like shouting. Tyler didn’t miss a beat. “As in all medical research, there are limits of time and money. The simpler test is whether a child has the gene. If we tailor the device in this way, it could be ready to use next year. Testing two adults and understanding the probability of the gene showing up in their children is more difficult, and would take a much longer process to get right. Starting with the simpler test is more scientifically sound.”

“And quicker,” the reporter said. “I’m sure you’d like the device ready as soon as possible. Is it true that you have twin girls, one with this very cancer and one without?”

Tyler held the reporter’s eyes. “Yes.”

“So this test could save your daughter’s life, isn’t that right?”

“Yes,” Tyler said.

No. Please God, don’t let Charlotte get sick
.

Somehow I hadn’t put together the fact that Cici’s cancer was genetic, and that as her twin, Charlotte, would be at high risk, too. I’d been too focused on Charlotte’s sadness about her sister. My queasiness was back. I hurried out to the back steps, put my head between my knees and breathed deep.

A few minutes later, Grant came out to join me.

“Okay?” he asked.

I managed a weak smile. “Too many tea sandwiches.”

“I hear the girls have already finished course two — sushi — and are on to the brownies. Are they really as good as everyone says?”

“Delicious. But I couldn’t eat one now to save my life.”

“After you left, Tyler told the reporter that he’s pausing the mediation process until Cici is finished with her treatment. It sounds like there have been complications.”

I hugged my knees to my chest. “But she’ll be all right, won’t she?”

Grant stared at his shoes. “I don’t know, Sadie.”

No one I’d known had ever had cancer, and even though I didn’t actually know Cici, I felt like I did. And knowing that Charlotte could get sick too made me want to run and scream and smash fragile things on the ground. I almost wished Karl would show up again, so I could do a little shouting myself. How could he keep Tyler from finishing the device, just because he was afraid that kids would be born with the cancer gene?

This test could save Charlotte’s life. If Karl had his way,
kids like Charlotte and Cici, kids who might possibly get sick, would never have the chance to be born at all. The thought made me cold and empty. Sickness was horrible, especially in someone you loved. After watching Mom collapse many times, I knew, firsthand. Still, would it be better to not have the chance to love someone just because they might eventually die and leave you? The argument didn’t make sense.

“Can we go home?” I asked Grant.

“Sure, if you’re ready,” Grant said.

“I should go say goodbye to the girls.” I pushed past the coldness, an echo of the hollowed-out feeling I’d battled all spring, and went upstairs to Juliet’s room.

“You missed the sushi, Sades,” Juliet said.

“I’m sorry, Juliet.” I couldn’t meet anyone’s eyes. “I’m not feeling well and Grant is taking me home. But I’ll be there on Friday for your show, Bri, okay?”

“You have to get better,” Bri said. “Saturday’s waterskiing.”

I nodded, and forced a smile.

“Call me if you’re still sick in the morning,” Pips said.

The girls gave me sympathetic waves as I closed the door. Off to home, to my sketchbook, to my soft, soft bed. Maybe I could close my eyes and just forget everything for a while.

W
e’d only talked with the class for a minute at camp that morning, and then sent the kids off to continue working on their books. Today, the kids would finish their rough draft art in pencil and tomorrow we’d bring out watercolors, colored pencils, and pastels. Every other minute someone called us over, asking how to spell monkey or girl or cloud or once upon a time.

Pippa came up behind me. “How are you feeling today, Sadie? Better?”

“Yeah.” Pips must have been miserable yesterday, probably thinking I’d left because of the Margo-plan, and because she’d given in to the girls. And I wasn’t happy about that, not at all, but I hadn’t exactly stood up to them either, in the end. I wanted to explain about Tyler’s interview, that I was
also worried about Charlotte, and Cici … I was seriously a disaster magnet.

Jess, who was cutting out bulletin board shapes at the back of the room, held up her buzzing phone and mouthed, “I need to get this.”

She went out into the hall to talk for a few minutes and then came back in, much more pale than she’d been when she left.

“Girls?” She motioned Pips and me over.

We gathered close.

“It’s Cici,” Jess said. “Her fever spiked this morning and the doctors think she may have caught some kind of infection. With little to no white blood cells, this is highly dangerous. Tyler and Rebecca need to stay with her in the hospital overnight, but they don’t want Charlotte to worry. They asked if I could help them find somewhere fun for Charlotte to spend the night.”

“She can come to my house,” I said, knowing my parents would be all right with this. “I’ve shown her a picture of Higgins and she said she wanted to meet him.”

“Would you really do that, Sadie?” Jess asked. “Charlotte loves you and I know she’d love to spend the evening with you.”

“I’d come, but I have a soccer pick up game tonight,” Pips said. “Every Wednesday to keep us in shape over the summer.”

Of course, Charlotte and I could draw or paint, but she’d done a bunch of that already today. We could play with
Higgins as long as we stayed inside. What had I liked to do when I was six? And then I had the perfect idea.

“Let me call Grant and ask him to check with my parents,” I said.

I borrowed Jess’ phone to call, and then she called Tyler and Rebecca to ask them about the plan. Everyone agreed that we should wait to tell Charlotte until after camp.

“She’ll be excited, but also afraid for Cici,” Jess said after she got off the phone. “I’d rather she finish the day without having to worry.”

Grant picked us up after class and brought Pips home. Afterward, we went to the toy store so I could pick up a surprise for Charlotte, and then we dropped by her house to pack her a bag and grab a booster seat for the Hummer. At the end of the camp day, Grant pulled into the church parking lot, and we went in to find Charlotte

After I told her about the sleepover, she looked up at me with those intense eyes. “It’s because Cici is really sick, isn’t it?”

I couldn’t lie to her. “Yes, she’s having trouble today.”

Charlotte bit her lip and nodded. “I asked her a couple questions this morning, and she didn’t answer. I was pretty sure something was wrong.”

“Your parents will stay overnight at the hospital and do everything they can for Cici, and we’re going to try to have some fun, you and I,” I said. “You get to meet Higgins, and we can paint, if you want, and I have a surprise for you too.”

Grant let Charlotte play with all the buttons in the Hummer before we took off. We stopped for ice cream, and
then again at one of the horse farms, and one of the horse trainers let Charlotte feed carrots to the horses. When we finally got home, I stopped before opening the front door.

“Now, Higgins will charge at you and put his paws up on your shoulders and lick your face, because he wants to show you how much he loves you. Do you want me to catch him first?”

Charlotte shook her head. “No. I don’t mind getting licked.”

Sure enough, Higgins barreled down the stairs the minute we opened the door. I stood behind Charlotte so she wouldn’t topple over when Higgins jumped up on her, but he surprised me by being mostly gentle. He ran right over, but then stopped and did the full-body wag thing, his tongue hanging out.

Charlotte held out her hand and Higgins sniffed it, and then used his nose to flip her hand up on top of his head.

“He wants you to scratch his ears,” I said.

She did, and he sat down, his rope-like tail thumping on the wood floor.

“So, are you ready for your surprise?” I asked.

Charlotte grinned, and I showed her up to my room. Just for fun, I’d had the toy-store wrap the gift, because everyone liked unwrapping boxes, even if the presents were little. Charlotte ripped off the paper and then held out the long thin band to me, a question on her face.

“It’s a Chinese jump rope. Here, look.”

After looping the band around the back legs of my desk
chair, I piled books on the seat, weighing it down. Then, I showed Charlotte where to stand, and helped her loop the band around her legs too. I stood in the middle and demonstrated the jumping pattern.

“Ten, Twenty, Thirty, Forty,” I said, jumping so first the left side of the rope was between my feet, and then the right, and doing that again. “Out, in, step, in, on.” The end of the pattern was both feet outside the band, both in, slowly stepping on both sides, the first time I’d allowed my feet to touch the bands, then in again, and then jumping so I landed one foot on one side of the band, and the other foot on the other side.

“Can I try?” Charlotte asked.

I traded her places, and she jumped while I helped her count. Once she figured out the basic pattern, I showed her some of the more complicated levels, like diamonds. Mom came upstairs to cheer us on when we got to our championship level. We jumped until we were both exhausted.

Dad made macaroni and cheese with chicken for dinner, and while we ate, Charlotte’s eyes began to close. Perfect. The evening had worn her out, and now she could sleep.

Please, let Cici be all right. Let Charlotte wake up tomorrow to good news about her sister
.

Dad carried Charlotte up to my room, and I helped her find her pajamas and brush her teeth. Mom had inflated the air mattress for me to sleep on, and changed the sheets on my bed so Charlotte could sleep there.

I wasn’t quite ready to sleep, but I knew if I took out my
sketchbook now, before Charlotte had fallen asleep, I’d keep her awake. So, after I tucked the covers around Charlotte, I headed toward the air mattress.

“You aren’t going to read me a story?” Charlotte asked, her voice slow and sleepy.

“I don’t have any, I don’t think,” I said.

“Tell me a story, then,” Charlotte said. “About one of those times, like you said at camp, where you knew God was there.”

Now what? When I’d said that at camp, I’d been talking about my paintings. Now looking at them, I had another inspiration. Still, my hands shook a little as I took the painting of Higgins and me in the church off the wall. I’d only told this story to a few people. But of all people, I was pretty sure Charlotte would understand.

“It’s not a picture book, but it’s a picture at least,” I said.

“Did you paint that?” Charlotte asked.

“Yes.” I told her the story of how I’d ended up in a church last fall, in the snow, by myself with Higgins, how I’d felt so alone and afraid and hadn’t known what to do and then suddenly, I’d known I wasn’t alone.

“I’m going to try to tell Cici that story,” Charlotte said.

“Maybe she even knows what that feels like. I hope so.”

“I hope so too, Charlotte.”

“Can Higgins sleep on the bed with me?” she asked.

“I’ll call him up and see if he stays. Sometimes he gets too hot,” I said.

Charlotte’s eyes began to close again. Higgins circled a few times and then curled up at her feet.

“Night, Charlotte.”

“Night, Sadie.”

Please, give her sweet dreams
.

I took out my sketchbook, and sat on the air mattress, drawing her small face, her expression serious, even in sleep.

And protect her from all bad things: sickness and sadness and pain
.

I closed my sketchbook and looked out at the stars, which usually made me feel so safe and comforted. Tonight, I didn’t want to think about heaven or anything beyond this small room. Like Charlotte, I wanted to think about the here and now, and keep the people I loved close. I lay down, and played with my star earring, thinking of all the people I loved who were so far beyond my reach. The empty, lonely feeling grew so large I felt like I might disappear inside myself.

You are not alone
.

The thought, warm and calming, wrapped around me, reminding me yet again that I didn’t have to do this on my own, no matter how many times I forgot.

Thank you
.