BROKEN (29 page)

“Jessie, I’m so pleased to finally meet you.
 
Both of my boys have told me so much about you
. 
I can’t tell you how happy I am that at least one of them was smart enough to hang onto you.”

Jessie was a little taken back by her bluntness.
 
“I…I want you to know I cared a great deal about Adam.
 
I’m sorry for your loss and hope you don’t think less of me for falling in love with Mitch.”

Catherine planted a warm kiss on her cheek.
 
“My dear, Adam died doing the one thing that truly made him happy; saving others.
 
I know you cared deeply for him, as he did you, but I think we all know he never would have made a good husband.
 
Judging by the way you and Mitch look at each other, I’d say you two were meant to be together.”

Mitch’s father stepped forward and took her hand between both of his.
 
“Welcome to the family, Jessie.
 
Mitch tells me you’re going to give me a couple of grandsons.”

She smiled warmly.
 
“Yes, I am.
 
I just hope the little brutes don’t decide to make an early appearance.”

Mitch’s arm tightened protectively.
 
“Which reminds me, I need to get Jessie off
of
her feet.
 
Would you two mind greeting the rest of the guests and point them to our table?”

“Not at all, dear,” his mother said.

Jill stuck her lip out.
 
“What am I, chopped liver or something?”

Mitch reached out and tweaked the end of her nose.
 
“You have an even more important job.
 
Join us at the table and keep my wife from escaping while I fix up our plates.”

Jessie jabbed him in the side.
 
“So now you’re recruiting your family for guard duty?”

Jill laughed.
 
“Come on, Jessie, while Mitch is fetching and carrying for us
,
I can tell you all about the horrible things he used to do to me when we were children.”

Jessie couldn’t remember when she’d had so much fun, even confined as she was to her chair.
 
People flitted in and out, grabbing food from the buffet and stopping by to offer their congratulations and even gifts.
 
The table beside them was overflowing in no time
,
and before long they had to scoot a second table next to the first.
 
Then came the toast, which was given jointly by Liz and Hank, followed by the cutting of the cake and their first dance as husband and wife.

Jessie was floating on a cloud as she gazed into Mitch’s eyes.
 
“Thank you for giving this to me.
 
I never really thought I was the type of woman who
would
want flowers and streamers and a fancy cake, but now I realize I would have regretted it.”

“I had a lot of help
,
and even though I wasn’t thrilled with the idea at first, I have to admit I would have regretted it too.
 
I love you, Jess.”

“I love you too.
 
We’re going to have a wonderful life together.”

“We already have a wonderful life together
.  I
t can only get better from here.”

When the music ended, he led her back to the table where Liz and some of the boys were waiting.
 
Liz tapped her watch.
 
“Your time was up fifteen minutes ago.
 
I’m sure the party will go on for a while longer, but everyone here knows Jess has been put on bed rest so they’ll forgive you for ducking out early.”

“You told everyone?”
 
Jessie grumbled.

“Yes, and you should be grateful I did.
 
The ladies are organizing a schedule to make sure someone is out there to prepare meals for your men every day.
 
They’ll also make sure the house is kept clean and any grocery shopping that
is
needed will get done.”

“And,” Mitch added, “my Mom and Dad are going to stay for a week to help take care of you
,
and Jill wants to hang out until after the babies are born.”

“While I just lay there like a bump on a log,” Jessie said grumpily.

Mitch leaned over, placing his hand lovingly on her belly.
 
“No, you
will
be diligently taking care of my sons.”

She sighed in resignation.
 
At least she couldn’t say there would be a shortage of company.
 
“I guess I could take up knitting or something.”

Hank rubbed his chin.
 
“Well now, if you’ve got your heart set on sewing, I’ve got a few shirts that need mending.”

Jessie smiled mischievously.
 
“Sure thing, Hank.
 
I can use those little heart shaped patches to fix them up with.”

Hank sputtered out a few cantankerous comments while the other men laughed and poked fun of him.
 
When the noise finally settled down and Mitch’s family came to join them, the conversation turned to the babies.
 
Jessie described the nursery and was pretty sure she regained a few points with Hank when she told them how he
had
practically done the whole thing by himself.

“We may have to expand it even more,” Mitch said, eyeing all the gifts.
 
“I have a feeling Sally and Orin weren’t the only ones buying things for the babies.”

“Jill and I will help find a place for everything,” his mother assured him.
 
“Have you two decided what to name my grandsons yet?”

Jessie covered her mouth to stifle the giggle that bubbled up inside of her.
 
With everything that had happened, she’d totally forgotten to tell Mitch her father’s real name.
 
Mitch on the other hand, was anything but amused.
 
His jaw flexed and he was clenching his teeth, no doubt dreading the moment he
would
have to tell his parents that one of his sons would be named Buford Porterhouse
Buchanan
Kincaid.

Jessie placed the flowers near the headstone then stood and enfolded herself in Mitch’s arms.
 
“I miss him,” she said solemnly.

“We all do, sweetheart.”

“Do you think he
would
be happy to know we named one of the twins after him?”

“With his ego, are you kidding me?”

Jessie couldn’t help smiling.
 
The two brothers certainly had more than looks in common.
 
Mitch still hadn’t lived down the embarrassing incident at their reception when he blurted out that he just couldn’t handle naming his son after her father.
 
A decided hush had fallen over the room as everyone turned to stare at him in horror.
 

John Buchanan had been well liked and respected in the community
,
and Mitch had made it sound like some sort of corporal punishment to name his son after the man.
 
To make matters worse, Jessie was having such a fit of giggles
,
they all thought she
had
lost her mind.

“I…I’m sorry,” she’d stammered to the crowd then turned to Mitch.
 
“I may have misled you just a little about my father.
 
His name was Jonathan Nathaniel Buchanan.”

“But you said his name was Buford Porterhouse…”
 

The room had exploded with laughter
,
and after a few seconds of mortified silence, Mitch had laughed too.
 
When everyone quieted down, he’d given her a devilish grin and told her she was going to pay dearly.
 
Even now
,
the memory of their honeymoon night and the tortuous ways he
had
paid her back brought color to her cheeks.
 

If he hadn’t been so concerned about the babies and Jessie getting the rest she needed, she doubted they
would
have slept at all that night.
 
She was just glad he’d put his family up at the Bed and Breakfast for the two days following the wedding because there had been an inordinate amount of unintelligible mumbling and rather ardent praises to God coming from their bedroom.

The days and weeks leading up to the birth of their two sons had gone much faster than she imagined.
 
Despite her appearance of grandeur, Catherine Kincaid was every bit as caring and kind hearted as Mitch
,
and had fussed over Jessie almost as bad as he did.
 
His parents stayed for a week
,
and during that time Jessie had grown quite fond of them.
 
She’d also formed a very strong bond with Jill, partly because the young woman’s exuberance made it impossible not to like her
,
but also because Jill had become the little sister she never had.

It was Jill who
had
been with her when the first contraction hit.
 
She’d paged Mitch, who was down at the barn helping Hank shoe horses that day, then calmly called Liz and asked her to meet them at the hospital.
 
By the time
a frantic Mitch
made it up to the house, Jessie’s suitcase was already stashed in the back of the pickup and the keys were in the ignition.
 
Mitch’s willful sister had insisted on driving, pointing out that he was shaking so bad
,
they
would
all be lucky to make it to the hospital in one piece.

Four hours and twenty-three minutes later, Mitchell Allen Kincaid, Jr. was born.
 
Six minutes
after that,
his twin brother, Adam Ryan Kincaid made his appearance.
 
To his credit, Mitch had staunchly remained by her side during the entire delivery, though she noticed Liz was keeping a close eye on him.
 
The look of pure adoration on his face when they place Mak in his arms had brought tears to her eyes.
 

He’d barely had time to settle their son in Jessie’s arms before Adam was handed to him.
 
That night after the nurse had taken the babies back to the nursery
,
Mitch kicked off his boots and crawled onto the narrow bed with her.
 
It was quite a squeeze, but she’d never felt happier in her life as she curled up in his arms and fell into an exhausted sleep.

She
was
released from the hospital two days later, only one week before Christmas.
 
Once again
,
Mitch had called in the troops to perform a miracle and Jessie had been reduced to a blubbering idiot when they pulled up to house and she’d spotted the Christmas lights along the roof and the giant candy canes that led the way up the walk.
 

His mother and Jill rushed out to take possession of the babies while his father held the door open so Mitch could carry her into the house.
 
He settled her on the sofa in the living room, quite proud of the Christmas tree he and Hank had cut down and helped decorate.

Christmas morning, Jessie woke up early to discover she was all alone in the big bed.
 
Slipping on a robe, she
went
to the nursery to check on the babies and found Mitch sitting in his rocker with a sleeping son nestled in each arm and a huge, satisfied grin on his face.
 
Nothing had ever moved her as deeply as the sight of her big, strapping husband cradling their tiny forms so protectively.
 

“I changed and fed them already,” he’d said proudly when she leaned over to press a kiss to each baby’s forehead.

She’d been using a breast pump so he could share the responsibility of feeding
,
and though she
was a little disappointed she’d
missed out that morning, she didn’t have the heart to take anything away from Mitch when he was so obviously thrilled for having accomplished it on his own.
 
His gaze fell lovingly on one son and then the other before lifting to look at her.

“You realize this is our first Christmas as a family?
 
I want more, Jess, at least two more; baby girls who look just like you, and maybe another couple of sons.
 
And I want
a dog, one of those Golden Retrievers or maybe a German Shepherd for the boys and
 
a few kittens for the girls.
 
Of course, we’ll have to do some renovations and add some bedrooms but…”

Jessie laughed softly.
 
“Good Lord, how early did you get up?
 
You must have been planning for hours.
 
Half a dozen children, a dog and kittens, remodeling the house, that’s quite an order to fill.”

He looked blissfully happy at that moment.
 
“We’ve got a lifetime to do it in, sweetheart, an entire lifetime.”

A lifetime wouldn’t be long enough to spend with Mitch, she thought as they left the gravesite and drove back to his parent’s house.
 
They’d flown up three days earlier so they could all be together on the
fourth
anniversary of Adam’s death
,
but Jessie and Mitch had remained behind while his parents took the twins back with them.
 
Every year since they
had
been married they’d come to lend support to his mother and father
.  Al
though visiting the grave was hard on them all, uniting as a family to tell stories of Adam’s wild escapades helped ease the pain of his loss.
 

By the time they got back to the house, Catherine and Jill had the twins settled down for an afternoon nap.
 
It helped to have the rambunctious little boys around to take their minds off the reason for the gathering
,
and Jessie couldn’t help feeling that their birth had been a blessing in more ways than one.
 
Inevitably, the sorrow that filled their hearts after visiting Adam’s grave was lifted by the gleeful laughter from their sons as they raced around their grandparent’s house.
 

Tears dried, smiles replaced frowns, spirits lifted.
 
And though she hadn’t told anyone yet, next year the somber moods would be even more difficult to hang on to because there would be two additional distractions.

“I’ve got something I want to show you,” Mitch said as they climbed the stairs to his old room.

Jessie grinned.
 
“I’ve seen it before and as impressive as it is, I’m not sure now is an appropriate time to show it to me again.”

“That wasn’t what I was referring to Mrs. Kincaid, although it
is
very tempting with the boys down for the count for the next few hours.”
 

He closed the door behind them and asked her to sit on the bed while he went to the closet and dug in his duffle bag and procured Adam’s journal.
 
Sitting down beside her, he drew in a deep breath before pressing it into her hands.
 

“This was Adam’s.
 
I suppose I should have let you read it long before now, but I guess a part of me didn’t want you to know how deeply
he
felt for you.”

“Why?
 
Did you think it would change the way I feel about you?”

Mitch kept his eyes glued to the floor.
 
“The thought crossed my mind.
 
I think I was afraid some of what you felt for me would be transferred back to Adam.
 
It sounds kind of stupid now, selfish even, but I couldn’t help it”

Jessie clutched the journal in her hands.
 
It had been years since she
had
even thought of it.
 
“It didn’t change a thing as far as you and I were concerned,
” she told him, “
but it did make me feel better to know I
made a difference in
Adam’s
life.”

He looked up at her in surprise.
 
“You read it?”

“Most of it.
 
I admit I was snooping for something that would give me a clue about your strange behavior
,
so when I found the journal I started reading a few pages here and there.
 
After we were married, it became a part of my past and reading it just made me too sad.”

“So you never actually got to the last entry?”

“No.”

Mitch took the journal from her.
 
“I’d like to read the last thing Adam wrote.
 
It was dated just a few days before th
e
last mission.
 
After reading it, I decided it was time to tell you the truth
,
but then Jud showed up and beat me to the punch.”
 

He opened the journal and read the entries telling of Adam’s misgivings about the mission
,
then turned to the last page.

Whether I make it back from this mission or not, I’ve made up my mind to let Jessie go.
 
Somehow I
will
convince Mitch he needs to go to her
,
and from there I’m sure nature will take its course.
 
Somewhere deep inside
,
I guess I’ve always known they
would
make a better match than Jessie and I ever could, but I’d come to rely on her too much to jeopardize it by letting them meet.
 

I realize now how selfish I
have
been; they both deserve to find happiness and I’ve kept it from them long enough.
 
Mitch never really liked being a Special Ops agent, but he did it for me.
 
And Jessie gave up the dream of marriage and children because she knew how much I needed her.
 
The two people I love most in this world sacrificed a part of their lives to keep me sane and whole and happy.
 
Now it’s my turn to give back.

Mitch, if you’re reading this it means I never made it back.
 
I understand the grieving process; God knows I’ve gone through it enough times to know.
 
You’ll be hurting and want to run off by yourself, just as Jessie will.
 
But I’m asking you, for both your sakes, go to her, comfort her, love her as I should have.