BROKEN (22 page)

Mitch snorted.
 
“You can’t be talking about Jessie Buchanan.”

Del shook his head.
 
“What the hell was I thinking?
 
Doesn’t it bother you that she
is
so independent and…well, bull headed?”

“Naw, it keeps me on my toes.
 
It’s kind of like reeling in a Marlin, you know?”

Del grinned.
 
“The battle makes the catch all that much sweeter?”

“Exactly.”

“I guess that’s what makes you and Jessie such a perfect match.
 
As for me, I want a woman who
is
a little bit shy, one who
will
need me to take care of her.”

“Jessie needs me take of her, at least in some respects.
 
She just doesn’t want me to take over completely, and I can understand that.
 
I guess I feel the same way in regards to her.”

“Not wanting the need to turn into dependence, you mean?”

He nodded, but it was Adam he was thinking about when he answered.
 
“Too many years were spent depending on her to pull to me out of the dark hole I’d fallen into.
 
I don’t want that ever to happen again.
 
The only thing I need from Jessie now is her love.”

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
                                       
***

Jessie sat across from Liz at the little café a few blocks from the clinic waiting for her to say something.
 
With only three month
s
to go before the babies were born, she was desperate for Mitch to acknowledge he wasn’t Adam.
 
She’d waited it out, hoping he would come to the conclusion himself that the name on the birth certificates should be his, not his brother’s.
 
Waiting and hoping obviously wasn’t the answer, but so far she hadn’t been struck with any brilliant ideas as to how to change the situation.
 
And that’s what led her to the decision to tell Liz everything and ask for her advice.

Liz set her cup down and looked at Jessie.
 
“I guess the most important thing is to figure out which of the two scenarios is the real one.
 
Did he consciously take Adam’s place as
a way to resolve his own guilt over his death and keep his brother alive by assuming his identity, or does he honestly believe he is Adam?”

“I wish I knew,” Jessie sighed,
 
“but I can’t just come out and ask him.”

“You said he made a lot of blunders, especially when he first got there.
 
When you pointed it out, did he try to change it?”

“Change it in what way?”

“Did he try to become more like Adam?”

Jessie thought about it for a moment.
 
“Not really.
 
When I told him he kissed different and the way he made love was different than it was before, he asked me to explain the difference.
 
If anything it became even more intense and more…loving.
 
So I guess the answer to that is no, he didn’t try to become more like Adam.”

“Then I would have to
say he knows he’s not Adam, otherwise he
would
be doing everything he could to act the same as his brother did.”

“But the other scenario doesn’t work either.
 
Maybe at first he felt guilty over
Kincaid
’s death, but we’ve worked through that.”

“Okay, so you helped him get past the guilt and pain of losing his brother, but where did that leave him?
 
Between a rock and a hard spot, that’s where.
 
He loves you, Jess, and he’s probably scared to death he’ll lose you if he tells you the truth now.”

An ache settled deep in her heart.
 
“Sometimes…he gets this look in his eyes, as if something’s eating at him.
 
I thought it had to do with
Kincaid
’s death but I wonder now if it’s because he wants to tell me but doesn’t know how.”

“So all we have to do is figure out how you can make it easier for him to do it.”

“Piece of cake,” Jessie said dryly.
 

They sat there for several minutes tossing ideas back and forth but couldn’t seem to come up with anything either of them thought would really work.

“I think you’re going to have to play a little hardball,” Liz said.
 
“No more trying to coax it out of him.
 
You
’ll
have to do some jabbing, throw a few sucker punches.”
 
She leaned forward.
 
“Look, Jess, I don’t think there
is
anything more important to Mitch than you and those babies.
 
It’s got to be killing him knowing Adam’s name will be on the birth certificates.
 
If you don’t want to confront him straight up, then you need to give him one hell of a reason to tell you himself.”

“What did you have in mind?”

“Tell him you want to name the first born son after him.
 
Play it up.
 
Tell him a son should have his father’s name.”

Jessie winced.
 
“I don’t know, Liz.
 
I don’t think I can deliberately hurt him like that.
 
And anyway, there
are
two babies in here, remember?
 
All he
would
have to do is say he wants to name the other one Mitch.”

“Yes, but you can counter that with objections.
 
They don’t have to be reasonable, you know.
 
You can tell him you want to name one of the babies after your father or something.”

Jessie put her elbows on the table and propped her chin on her hands.
 
“Maybe I should just come right out and tell him I know.”

“You could,” Liz agreed, “but what if we’re wrong?
 
What if Mitch really thinks he’s Adam, or what if he’s just not ready to face it yet?
 
I think it would be better if he accepted it on his own, even if you have to goad him a little bit to get him to do it.”

“You’re probably right.
 
I just hope I can pull it off.”

“It
will
work, I’m sure of it.
 
So, what else is happening out at the ranch?
 
Has Jud caused any more trouble?”

“Surprisingly enough, no.
 
Even Mitch is starting to believe Jud is all wind and no sail.
 
Maybe Jud finally figured out he wasn’t ever going to get his hands on the Sinclair ranch and gave up.”

“I doubt it.
 
Word around town is that he’s still hopping mad about the whole thing.”
 
Liz laughed softly, amusement dancing in her eyes.
 
“Mitch damn near took his jaw off.
 
He had to stick to soup and mashed up food for a week.”

“He deserved it.”

“According to Jud
,
it was totally unjustified.
 
He said all he was doing was talking to you when your crazy boyfriend worked himself into a jealous rage and hit him.”

“That’s a lie,” Jessie hissed.
 
She reached for the coffee cup and brought it unsteadily to her lips.
 

“I know.
 
The boys made sure everyone heard about the way Jud grabbed you.”

Jessie set the cup down, curling her fingers around it to keep them from shaking.
  “
There’s more to it than that.
 
I didn’t tell Mitch because he was furious enough as it was.
 
Jud…well, he made some crude comment about taking me inside and showing me what a
real
man was like.”

“Jud said that?”
 

“Yes, and it really scared me.”

“Oh, Jess, you don’t honestly think he would have forced himself on you, do you?
 
I know Jud’s not exactly the most gentle man around
,
and he can get mighty pushy when it comes to getting something he wants, but he
would
never go so far as to hurt you or any woman that way.”

“I don’t think so either.
 
It wasn’t so much what he said, but the way he said it.”

Liz nodded.
 
“Jud feels threatened because he knows Mitch isn’t the least bit intimidated
by him
.
 
I imagine he figures the only way to bring Mitch to his knees is to take away the one thing that seems to matter to him.”

“Me,” Jessie said grimly.

“Yes.
 
Who knows what was going through that arrogant head of his?
 
He probably thought you
would
swoon and go racing into the house with him.
 
God knows you’re just about the only single woman in this county who hasn’t succumbed to his swagger and tumbled into bed with him.”

“Which is the only reason he wants me, I’m sure.”

“It’s a double blow to his ego.
 
Another man succeeded where he failed.”

“That’s ridiculous.
 
Jud never had a chance with me even before
Kincaid
or Mitch came along.”

“We’re talking about a man whose ego is bigger than his bank account, remember?”

Jessie laughed.
 
“All right, I guess I can see why it would rankle him.
 
What about you, Liz?
 
Have you decided to give that sweet Mr. Jansen a chance to win your heart?”

“You know, I’ve been putting him off for months because I wasn’t quite sure I was ready for a relationship.
 
But after listening to you and everything that’s going on, I’ve decided my life is much too dull.
 
The next time he asks me out, I think I’ll say yes.”

“Good, then maybe this town will have someone to gossip about besides me!”

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
                                        
***

After her discussion with Liz and deciding time was getting too short to delay it much longer, Jessie set their plan in motion.
 
She’d given it a few more days because she wanted to wait until the nursery was done and figured what she had to say would have a much bigger impact in the baby’s room.
 
Since Mitch had been so obstinate about her
not decorating the room by herself, she and Hank had contrived to keep him out of it until now.
 
Mitch hadn’t complained…much, but she knew his curiosity was driving him crazy.
 
She also had an extra surprise waiting, one she hoped would touch him as much as his gift of the rocker had touched her.
 

As they finished up the dinner dishes, Jessie was torn between the excitement of finally being able to show him the finished nursery and dreading the conversation she knew would put that soulful look back in his eyes.
 
But she wanted it all and couldn’t have that when they were living a lie.
 

Her stomach was twisted in knots and she was starting to get a headache.
 
It was a gamble at best; so much to lose, so much to gain.
 
It would all work out, she promised herself
,
as she watched Mitch put away the last dish.
 
He put the towel away and returned to her, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead.