Broken (12 page)

Then came the Orlando trip, and everything had changed. He’d spent the day with Cassidy, talking and laughing as she’d helped him find the perfect engagement ring for Amber. He’d always admired her and thought his friend had done well in the marriage department, even if he didn’t always agree with the way Phillip treated her. For the first time, he’d seen Cassidy as more than the classy lady his buddy had managed to snag, and he’d thought, given time and proximity, he and Cassidy could become friends on their own rights. They’d returned to the condo and his world had turned on its axis.

When he and Cassidy had stormed out of the unit with their bags packed, Max’s only thought had been to escape before he did something that landed him in jail. He’d stopped by Cassidy’s hotel room, intending to get good and drunk, but hadn’t wanted to be alone with his thoughts as he did. His mood had been brooding, bending toward violent and frankly, dangerous. Cassidy, even in the midst of her own rage, had been a soothing presence.

After tossing back a few drinks, Cassidy had blithely suggested they should have sex with each other to get even with Amber and Phillip, and what started out as a means of vengeance had exploded into another entity. Her taste had gone to his head. Her passionate response to his touch had excited him the way no other woman’s ever had or ever would. Simply put, Cassidy had been his every sexual fantasy and wet dream rolled into one.

He hadn’t been able to get her or their night together out of his mind. He’d liked her and respected her, but he’d also lusted after Cassidy and had eventually fallen in love with her—his former best friend’s wife. His and Cassidy’s affair had only increased the animosity between him and Phillip, for now, not only had the other man betrayed their friendship, but he had something Max wanted and was refusing to give her up, even though their marriage was clearly over.

Sighing, Max admitted to himself he’d dehumanized Phillip as a way of dealing with his pain and bitterness where the other man was concerned. But, for the first time since Orlando, he was able to think of more than how their friendship had ended. He could think of the good times. The times when they’d supported each other, had fun together, and simply been at peace together. He remembered, and for the first time, he mourned.

He and Phillip would never have become friends again. The anger on both sides went too deep. But even at his bitterest, Max had never wished Phillip dead. Their friendship had ended the day Phillip put sex before brotherhood. However, Max felt a sense of loss for what might have been had life not taken the turn it had.

Max turned to Cassidy, intending to ask questions, but observing the tenseness in her features and remembering the way her story had come out in fits and starts with long pauses between, decided not to do so. Instead, he glanced around the interior of the large SUV with new understanding. In his mind, he could still see images of the wreckage of Phillip’s car. His gaze took in the front and side air bags, and he was certain those weren’t the only safety features the vehicle contained. Compared to her former, much smaller, sporty SUV, this thing was a tank.

He thought of the sports coupe he drove. It would have to go. Max didn’t need Nicco’s psychology degree to know Cassidy wouldn’t be comfortable riding in such a small vehicle. Nor was there room for Zoe’s car seat. He was a family man now and needed a mode of transportation that reflected it. Later he’d research online and see which SUVs had the highest ratings—safety, fuel economy, and so on. Then he’d make a trip to the dealership and trade in his car. Maybe he’d talk Cassidy into going with him and get her input.

In the backseat, Zoe stirred and let out a whimper. Cassidy glanced in the rearview mirror and muttered, “Uh-oh!”

“What’s wrong?” He, too, glanced behind them, but his attention was on the vehicles.

“Zoe’s waking,” she said ominously.

Arching an inquisitive brow, he asked, “Is that a problem?”

“It will be.”

He watched as the toddler slowly opened her eyes. She appeared dazed, a bit sluggish. Her gaze bounced past him and kept going to latch onto Cassidy. “Mama,” she said piteously.

“We’re almost there, Zoe. Momma will get you soon,” Cassidy promised.

Zoe’s lower lip protruded and tears gathered in her pretty blue eyes, turning them liquid. “Mama!” she said again.

“How much longer until we arrive?” Max asked.

“Too long,” she muttered.

Max tried distracting Zoe by talking to her. It didn’t work. She beat on the car seat, pushing against it. Her every action screamed she wanted out!

“See if she’ll take her cup,” Cassidy suggested.

Max reached over the seat, hooked the diaper bag, and dug into it until he found the cup. He held it out to Zoe. She pushed it away. “She doesn’t want it. You don’t have a video you can put in for her to watch?” His siblings swore by the dual seat-mounted video players their vehicles possessed. Said it made traveling a whole lot easier since it kept the kids entertained. Though he didn’t recall seeing any in Cassidy’s, surely she had one.

Cassidy bit her lower lip. “No. I don’t like them. They’re too distracting, and besides, Zoe’s too young to watch television. I don’t want her growing up in front of the tube.”

Zoe was still calling out for Cassidy and openly crying. By the time they pulled into the parking lot, she had escalated to all-out wails.

Cassidy wasted no time exiting the SUV and plucking Zoe out of her seat. Zoe clung to Cassidy as though her life were endangered. He felt useless. To disguise it, he grabbed the diaper bag and followed Cassidy as she entered the office.

This early there were only one or two patients in the waiting room. Max imagined there were more sequestered behind closed doors. He took a seat while Cassidy carried a squalling Zoe to the window. Watching Cassidy handle the toddler, who clearly didn’t want to be managed, Max thought of his earlier self-assurance. Take Zoe to the doctor? Sure, no problem. What a joke.

She adroitly bounced Zoe on one hip while digging through her purse and wallet, producing what looked like an insurance card. Max would have offered to hold Zoe while she checked in, but his daughter had made it clear she wanted no one but her mother. When Cassidy came and sat beside him, he told her, “You were right. There’s no way I could have dealt with Zoe all by myself.”

She glanced at him as she rooted through the diaper bag. “If you had to, I’m sure you would have managed.” Cassidy took out the cup he’d slipped inside the bag and tried to give it to Zoe.

“No!” Zoe shoved it away again.

Cassidy grimaced. “It’s at times like these I wished I hadn’t weaned her off her pacifier.”

“Why did you?” he asked curiously.

“Sucking them too much causes ear infections.”

Watching Zoe’s fierce expression, Max asking, “Is she mad or is she hurting?” From her behavior, he honestly couldn’t tell.

“Both,” Cassidy answered. “She’s in pain and cranky because of it. I should have brought her teething ring.”

“Can’t you do something for her? You’re a doctor.” Zoe’s cries were tearing at him. She sobbed like her heart was broken.

Cassidy gave him a look of patent disbelief. “I’m an O.B. I don’t do pediatrics. I let the experts handle it.”

“But if she were really injured or something, couldn’t you treat her? Didn’t you have to learn about children’s medicine in medical school?” he asked, unable to believe there was nothing Cassidy could do to help their daughter.

“I did a rotation in pediatrics, sure. If needed, I could stabilize Zoe until we could get her to an ER or acute care center. However, I leave the diagnosis and treatment to doctors who specialize in children’s medicine. When Zoe’s pregnant with her first child, I’ll be more than happy to treat her.”

Max shuddered. “Don’t even mention my daughter and sex in the same sentence. She’s not having kids until she’s forty.”

Cassidy rolled her eyes, muttering, “Men,” not quite under her breath. She was still rocking and trying to shush their angry daughter. Zoe apparently had quite the temper and was stubborn too. He wondered from which of them did she get it and would all of their children have the same temperament. Max wanted the chance to find out.

A cheerful voice called out, “Who’s out here making all that noise? Zoe Maxine Brannon, is that you causing all this commotion?”

Zoe Maxine Desalvo
, Max corrected mentally and looked up to see Erika approaching. She wore a standard white lab coat and black slacks, but had a couple of miniature stuffed animals pinned to her stethoscope. Erika briefly met his gaze before turning to Cassidy, one eyebrow arched in question.

The questions managed to distract Zoe, whose volume decreased appreciably as she watched the newcomer warily. Max was happy to see he wasn’t the only person who received that look from his daughter.

“She’s teething again, I think, and she’s been tugging on her ear. One or both ears may be infected. She had a temp of one hundred and two point five this morning, and it’s been running high all weekend. I’ve been dosing her with children’s pain reliever and rubbing gel on her gums. It hasn’t really helped,” Cassidy said in what to Max sounded like a damned good diagnosis for someone who didn’t “treat” children.

Erika frowned, her deep brown eyes gazing at Zoe with mild concern. “Bring her on back and let’s take a look.” Once again her gaze flicked over him but she didn’t comment on his presence with Cassidy.

When Cassidy rose with Zoe, Max got up too. He wasn’t about to be left in the waiting room. He stayed silent during the examination. Erika confirmed Zoe did indeed have a double ear infection. She and Cassidy conversed a bit about treatments and home remedies to make it less painful for Zoe and lessen the need for antibiotics.

Sensing their conversation winding down, Max asked, “Other than the ear infection, Zoe’s healthy? From Cassidy, I know she was born premature. Has that affected her development in any way?”

Both women looked at him. He had the feeling they’d forgotten he was present. Erika glanced at Cassidy, head cocked to the side and one eyebrow raised.

Cassidy nodded. “You can discuss Zoe’s medical records with him.”

Max frowned inwardly, irked he had to have Cassidy’s permission to get answers about his daughter’s health. The sooner he got the legal ball rolling acknowledging his parental rights, the better. The thought reminded him of other legal matters he need to handle—child support, changing his will, his life insurance beneficiaries. He made a mental note to call his lawyer this afternoon.

In a brisk voice, Erika said, “Zoe’s very healthy. While a newborn in the hospital, we monitored her lungs as they hadn’t had a chance to fully develop. Respiratory issues are always a concern with premies. She’s a bit smaller than children her age, and developmental wise she’s more on par with a child two months younger, but that’s normal and anticipated.”

Max studied Zoe, imaging her in an incubator. “Cassidy mentioned Zoe’s use of a pacifier being associated with ear infections?”

Erika held out a hand and swayed it back and forth in a so-so gesture. “Studies have shown that children who suck pacifiers have a higher percentage rate of developing ear infections than those who don’t. As long as we treat them early, they’re nothing to be concerned about. Overall, we’re very happy with Zoe’s development, both physical and cognitive.”

Max felt the blood drain from his face, having not realized until just that moment Zoe might have had more than physical issues to contend with. She could easily have been developmentally disabled as a result of injuries sustained from the crash or complications during her birth. Some of the research he’d done on birth and delivery when he’d learned Cassidy was pregnant came to him, and he said a brief prayer of thanks all had turned out so well.

Max remained in a silent, contemplative mood as they left the doctor’s. Zoe, clearly exhausted from her earlier crying jag, drooped in her car seat. Erika had given her an initial dose, using one of the many sample medicines pharmaceutical companies left at the office. Cassidy had the prescription in her purse for the rest. From the way Zoe slumped with her eyes half-closed, Max figured she’d be out like a light switch being thrown.

Now was as good a time as any to broach the subject that had been on his mind since this morning. “Have you given any more thought to me renting the basement?”

The heavy SUV swerved and Cassidy uttered a low, mild curse as she corrected. Max took her reaction as a no. “I need to know whether to spend the rest of the day today settling in below, or apartment hunting. I can’t return to Nicco’s. We’d kill each other. I suppose I can live in a hotel until I find something suitable,” he said, having no intention of doing so unless Cassidy forced his hand.

“I—”

“I understand if you’re not comfortable with the idea of me living in your space”—
no
,
the
hell I don’t
—“but I don’t want to be a visitor in Zoe’s life. Seeing you in action today made me realize I’m not ready to handle her completely on my own, and I don’t think you’re comfortable yet with the idea of me taking Zoe off for the weekend.” He caught the flinch Cassidy couldn’t hide. Smiling inwardly, he thought,
Gotcha!

“You do realize I’ll insist on equal time and access with our daughter, don’t you?” he asked casually, pushing his point. “I don’t just want every other weekend and the occasional holiday. My preference is for us to cohabitate and share parenting duties, but I’ll settle for fifty percent shared time and physical custody. We can revisit the physical custody issue when Zoe starts school.”

Max watched in fascination as Cassidy’s fingers clenched on the steering wheel and her jawline tightened into a scowl.
Oh, my lady really doesn’t like the idea of sharing
.

A squirm of guilt slithered in his conscience. He was using the same tactics Phillip did to get what he wanted. Max ruthlessly squashed it. Unlike her deceased husband, he wasn’t threatening to take their child from Cassidy. However, he had no qualms about insuring she understood just what having him in their life would entail. He wouldn’t be relegated to the side, having access to his child only when Cassidy deemed prudent.