Broken (9 page)

Once class ended, I decided to
take out some of my stress and frustration at the gym. I hadn't been there in a
few days, due to my course load and assignments. However, I had a few free
hours, so why the hell not? It might actually help me to fall asleep that
night. I usually preferred to work out early in the morning, as I was usually
too tired later on to get in there, but that day was an exception.

The campus gym was pretty
exquisite. It was one of those state-of-the-art facilities that had everything
you could possibly need to work out with, all in one place, with numerous makes
and models. Although there were times where you still had to wait for a
machine, it was a rare thing. Usually there was more than enough available for
everyone.

One of the other reasons why I
enjoyed working out early was because there was typically no one there that
early. Most students were either hung-over from the night before, or in class,
and didn’t bother with early morning workout sessions. By mid-morning, the gym
was a lot busier than it was when I generally came in.

I headed to the treadmills and stepped
onto one. I entered all the requirements, and set the speed to allow for a slow
jog at first, and then I would increase the speed as I went. I put my
headphones on, and got my iPod rolling with some good jams.

I spent those 40 minutes in my
own world; this was the time for me to fix all the problems that had been
plaguing me lately. I felt at that point that I had my art project under
control, and the first month was already complete. At the moment, I didn't have
any other big projects coming up, so I could probably spend some time on my own
art to get ready for a new show. I wasn't sure when the next one was coming,
but it was always good to have a solid collection ready to go at the drop of a
hat.

Now, what to do about Jet? The
thought of letting him into my world gave me a touch of anxiety. I wasn't
entirely sure I could trust him, but that kiss had sparked something inside of
me that I wasn't sure I could continue to deny much longer. I was curious about
why the kiss had moved me so much. Maybe there was more there to examine
between us than I had realized. I didn't want to miss out on something
spectacular if it was there for the taking.

The 40 minutes flew by, and my
cool down began. I slowed to a fast walk and wiped the sweat off my brow. I pulled
my headphones out of my ears, and took a quick look around the room. I had a
minute and a half left before the treadmill stopped on its own.

Out of the corner of my eye, I
saw a group of people, guys and girls, clustered against the wall. It wasn't an
unusual thing to see. There were always groups of people lurking around, some
with no real interest in working out, just there to try and get with a guy or
girl. The unusual thing about this group was that they all seemed to be staring
at me. They would glance over, and then whisper amongst each other, and then
glance over again. I had never seen anything like it before, and I raised an
eyebrow at them.

Although I was known around
campus as an art student, I was never considered unpopular. I had never been
the victim of bullying, nor had anyone tease me or make fun of me. In fact, a
lot of people had known my ex, and liked him a great deal. For the most part,
people liked me as well, but being shy, I just never immersed myself within a
large group of people. That's why I found that little clique’s behavior to be
highly unusual.

I gave them an obvious and
pointed shrug, as if to say,
Hey what's with all the staring?
I brushed
it off, and started heading toward the free weight area. I could still feel
their eyes on me, and my stomach began to turn, as if I knew that they had a
clue to a secret that I knew nothing about.

There was a girl lifting weights
when I walked over, and she already had her eyes on the group of people as
well. She had a quizzical look on her face, and I hoped she didn't think that I
was some loser, too. The whole thing struck me as a little bizarre, but maybe I
was just having one of those days.

The girl turned to me when I
approached, and smiled awkwardly.
Yup, she thinks I'm a loser.
Wonderful.

I picked up some 15 lb. free
weights, and sat down on a bench to do bicep curls. I never lifted heavy
weights, I mainly did free weights just to add a little muscle to my body, but
I didn't want anything crazy.

“Don't worry about them.”

Surprised, I looked up at her.
“Excuse me?”

She pointed to the group, which
was kind enough to turn away. “I'm talking about those nitwits.
Really classy bunch over there that can't stop staring at you.”

“Yeah ... I'm not really sure
what that's about.”

“You don't know?
Really?
Well, I know we like to think that guys keep their
mouths shut, but it's rarely the case. Sorry,”

I dropped the weights as I grew a
little annoyed. Was this puzzle day? If so, I had no idea what the hell was
going on. “I'm
sorry,
I have no idea what you're
talking about.”

“It's ‘
cause
you slept with Jet.”

“I did what?”

“Jet's roommate has a fairly
large trap, and he was talking about you and Jet getting it on pretty hot and
heavy last night after he stopped over at your place. After that, it spread,
which is why you seem to have caught the interest of that group over there.”

“I've never met Jet's roommate.”

“It doesn't matter; Jet obviously
filled him in on the two of you, and Kyle spilled the beans. It sucks, I know.
Guys can be such pigs.”

I stared down at the weights I
had
dropped,
trying to process the information I had
just been given. I looked back at the group, which at that point had moved on
to more interesting things. They thought I had slept with Jet. That's why they
had been staring at me. They were probably wondering why
a
guy like Jet would sleep with a girl like
me.

“I didn't sleep with Jet,
though.”

“You don't have to hide it, girl,
we aren't in high school anymore. Everyone does it.”

I laughed nervously. “No, that's
not it. I seriously have never slept with Jet ever, nor do I intend on it.” The
girl looked me over carefully, so I added, “I honestly don't know why those
people think I did.”

“Well they think that because
Kyle told them. Kyle isn't the kind of guy that goes around telling lies, so
I'm guessing that for whatever reason Jet told him you guys did the nasty, Kyle
exposed it.”

I couldn't believe what I was
hearing. Some guy I had never met was going around campus telling everyone that
I had slept with Jet last night. I was going to strangle Jet when I got my
hands on him.

“That son of a bitch.”

“Yeah, guys are pricks. I
typically try to avoid them at all costs.
Just not worth the
headaches.”

I put back the free weights, no
longer in the mood to finish my workout. I had to get the hell out of the gym
and away from the stares I was getting. “Well I appreciate you giving me the
heads up, but I have to go now, and murder someone.”

“Yeah, no problem.
Good luck.”

I hurried out of the gym,
avoiding eye contact with anyone. I wondered how many people knew―how
many people were gossiping about my wild night with Jet.
What a prick
. I
headed across campus to my apartment, and unlocked the building door. I made a
quick dash up the stairs and burst through my apartment door. I was happy to
see Julie there.

“You are never
gonna
believe what happened to me today.”

“What? What happened? Who pissed
you off?”

“That idiot!
I should never have trusted
him.”

“Calm down, Natalie, who are we
talking about here?”

“Jet.”

Her eyebrows rose.
“Jet?
What happened with Jet?”

“Absolutely nothing happened with
Jet, that's the whole point. But that's not what he's telling people.”

“Whoa! Okay, start from the
beginning.”

I told Julie everything, from the
visit to our apartment the night before, to the kiss. I even openly admitted to
liking the kiss, and looking at future possibilities with Jet. I explained to
her how I had freaked a little and sent him packing. I then explained the
situation at the gym, and about the group of people staring at me, whispering.
I told her how some strange girl had to enlighten me on the topic.

“Oh my God, Natalie.
I'm so sorry.”

“It was beyond humiliating. They
were just staring at me. I felt like an idiot.”

“They’re morons, Natalie. Like,
who does that? We aren't in high school; why do they care if Jet slept with
someone?”

“It's ‘
cause
it's me. They were probably trying to figure out what the hell he saw in me.
Believe
me,
I was wondering the same thing.”

“Come on, Natalie, I know you are
upset, and you have every right to be, but you are just talking crazy now. You
are gorgeous; look at that hair alone.” I started laughing. “No, I'm serious.
You're obviously beautiful. Those were just a bunch of tools that were jealous.
A bunch of girls who got dissed by him at some point, that's all.”

I went for the heavy liquor that
time. Screw the wine bottles. I went into the cupboard and took out a bottle of
whiskey. I took out two snifter glasses, and poured a generous amount into both
of them. I added ice, and a small amount of Coke, and stirred it a little. Julie
watched with her mouth hanging open.

“Natalie, it's like 2:00 p.m.”

“Do you have somewhere you need
to be?”

Julie laughed, “No, I guess I
don't.” She took the glass I handed her, and took a sip. “Whoa, this is a stiff
one.”

“Yeah, I wish I could have said
the same for Jet,” I laughed. “I didn't even get to find out. I think that's
what pisses me off the most. He didn't even put a valiant effort into getting
me into bed before going around and telling everyone we did it.”

“Look, you don't know the whole
story. Maybe he was trying to save face, and didn't realize it would go public.
You have been pretty hard on the guy.”

“Save face, my ass. He's just
like every other guy I know, and here's the proof of it. Just when I actually
started liking him, he goes and does exactly what I thought he was going to do,
and
that's be
an asshole.”

“I'm actually surprised. He
seemed to genuinely like you.”

“That's how they trick you. He
didn't like me. He's just the same as all the others. I tried to tell you that
right from the beginning, and you kept trying to get me to hang out with him.
And now this.”

“You're blaming me?” She looked
dumbfounded.

“No! This is my own idiocy, trust
me.”

“Maybe you should talk to him.
See why he did that.”

“No thanks, I have no interest in
talking to him again.”

“Sorry, girl.”

I held up my glass of whiskey
before drinking it. “Let's just get shitfaced together.”

We laughed together, and I once
again tried to drown my sorrows in booze.

Chapter Twelve

Jet

I felt good that night, better
than good. Actually, I felt alive. A few of my buddies and I were doing a
little pre-drinking at my apartment before heading to the club. They were a
great group of hilarious guys and we always had a blast out hunting for the
ladies.

“Hey, guys finish up your drinks.
I'm calling a cab; let's head out.”

It was probably another fifteen
minutes before the cab showed up and we all piled into it, ready to hit the
nightlife.

I hadn't seen or heard from
Natalie in a few days, and it was probably for the best. I had decided to give
up trying with her, and move on. She clearly wasn't interested in me, and I
couldn't keep beating a dead horse. I still thought about her, though; she
really did mess with my head. It was frustrating thinking about her sometimes.
I felt like I had failed in winning her over, and I hated failing at anything.
I really just wanted to be near her.

That was the past talking, however.

Tonight I was ready to find some
new squirrel.

The cab pulled up to the
destination of choice, and we got out, and headed to the door. The doorman did
his standard checking of IDs and we paid the appropriate cover charge, and in
we went. We walked up the stairs to the higher level, and as I turned the
corner with my friends, there sat this red headed stunner at the bar with her
friend, Julie. The sight of her caused me to stop in my tracks, and one of my
buddies behind me bumped into my back. He saw where I was staring and said,
“Hey, man, you already did that. Find someone new.”

I shook my head. I really was an
idiot. But he was right about one thing. I was there to find someone new. We
headed to the opposite end of the bar to avoid any awkwardness. The two of them
glanced up at us but quickly went back to their drinks. I noticed Julie
whispering in Natalie's ear while looking at me, and I hoped to hell something
wasn't brewing up between them. I just wanted to have a good time without any
drama.