Broken (26 page)

I smiled through my tears. At least that was a step in the right direction.

“Ten months' time, on December first.”

I swallowed, hard, my eyes widening. “Ten months? But that's…that's
ten
months
!”

He smiled sadly. “Ten months. Your divorce will be finalized and we'll be able to move forward, together.”

He cupped my cheeks, turning my face to look into his eyes, but I couldn't meet his gaze. My eyes closed as grief for this love affair punched me in the gut. Ten months—might as well be ten years. No one could survive that amount of time apart after such a short time together, even if I did love him more than life itself.

“Look at me, Evie, please.”

The heaviness of his voice made me open my eyes. It was the muffled, anguished tone of a man who was trying to make sense of something that made no sense at all.

“I am yours, baby, and I will be thinking of you every day. Missing you every day.” His words stuck in his throat as his tears fell freely. “But, please, do this one thing for me.”

Nodding, I followed the track of one tear with my finger before softly kissing it away.

“Promise you won't do anything crazy, like jump on a plane and try to find me. Or even call me. If you can promise me that, then I will promise, on my last dying breath, to come home to you.” He stroked the back of his fingers down my cheek. “If you love me, you have to trust me.”

With all my heart I didn't want to promise anything of the sort, but if I did, then I knew Adam would keep his end.

Our salty tears combined as our lips lightly met; then I rested my forehead to his. “I promise.”

I'd been counting down the days until I would finally see Adam again, fantasizing about what he was doing and wondering if he ever thought of me. At first there were hundreds of days, but as time ticked over, painstakingly slowly, the hundreds became tens, until the count finally reached single digits. Now there were no more days to count; it was D-day, or should I say, A-day. If Adam didn't come today, then I would have to face the reality that I had lost him forever.

Busying myself by cleaning what didn't require cleaning, and tidying what was already tidy, I wondered how our reunion would play out. Would it be awkward after not seeing each other for so long, or would it be as though we had never been apart? So much had happened in my life. Could I still be the person Adam had fallen in love with? Catching my reflection in the bathroom mirror as I straightened the already straight towels, I stopped to study what I was wearing. I looked different than I had ten months ago. My body had changed, and it made me nervous that Adam would take one look at me and get back in his car and drive away.

Stop it, Evie.

I wrung my hands together, then shook them out, trying to make myself relax and calm down, but my heart was pounding in my chest and he hadn't even arrived yet.

The fire in the living room was blazing, but I poked it with a stick anyway, just to give myself something to do. I needed to chill, so I took a seat on the sofa, and studied the painting that hung above the mantel as I had done every day since I'd moved back to this little haven. It was Adam's painting of the lighthouse, or should I say, my painting that Adam had let me keep, and it was my most prized possession after the gold locket that hung around my neck.

It was getting late, or at least later than I had expected him to arrive. I woke up at four a.m., and had been ready and waiting since then. Sure, I had plenty to occupy my time these days, but one eye had been firmly fixed on the clock for the better part of twelve hours. The light had shifted across the room, and my heart sank with the sunset.

He wasn't coming.

I had broken my promise, and now he was going to break his. I had tried to call Adam after we'd been apart for only a few weeks, and only once, but that was one time too many. After finding out some wonderful, terrifying, life-altering news, the first person I thought to call was Adam. With tear-filled eyes, I'd found his number and held the phone to my ear with a tremble in my hand. The promise to not contact him forgotten, I was sure he would be thrilled to hear from me. But when the operator advised that the number I had called was no longer connected, it hit home that he really didn't want to be contacted.

Maybe that should have been a glaring neon sign to tell me that all ties had been broken for good, but I chose to hold on to his promise. He had given his word that he would come back to me, and I couldn't let myself believe otherwise. Regardless of everything that had happened between us, he had always been true to his word, had never broken a promise.

At last, a car with darkened windows pulled up, and I leapt from my seat. I recognized it immediately as Adam's Audi. My stomach felt like a ferret was chasing a rabbit as it swooped and swirled, and I closed my eyes and took three long calming breaths.

I should get changed. This top looks hideous.
But it was too late to change, too late to lose the pounds I had gained, too late to fix my hair.

As Adam climbed out from the driver's side, he took a cursory glance up at the house before opening the back door of the vehicle to let an excited Max out of the car. Unable to wait any longer, I flung the door open and greeted a slobbering Max as he took the steps of the front porch two at a time.

Beaming, I couldn't help the tears that blurred my vision as Adam met my eyes. But he didn't greet me with warmth, instead returning my enthusiasm with a cool nod. My smile faded; something was wrong. Adam was…different. Clean-shaven with short hair was one thing—I had seen him without his beard before—but this was something else entirely. He was shorter and slighter in build than I remembered, and his eyes didn't sparkle. A foreboding crept under my skin, making the tiny hairs stand on end.

He doesn't recognize me. How could he not recognize me?

Trotting down the stairs to the pavement, I stopped dead in my tracks as Adam jogged to the passenger door and opened it. I couldn't breathe.

Stepping aside, he held out his hand to assist his passenger, but it was batted away. My eyes widened as the real Adam slowly pulled himself from the car.

“Hi, Buttercup,” he said warily.

Trying to swallow down the boulder in my throat, a trembling hand went to my mouth. This was Adam. The beanie pulled firmly down on his head, framed his pale, stubble-free face. His torso was less muscular than it had been ten months ago, his steps uncertain. Dark circles underscored his sunken eyes, but they held the same sparkle that I had daydreamed about since the day we'd parted.

“Hi, Sugar.” My breath shook as tears flooded my cheeks. Racing to him, I hesitated before carefully embracing him. He looked so weak, but as he pulled me to his body, my head resting against his chest, the weight of the world lifted.

Raising my head, I smiled at Adam Number Two. “You must be Will. Pleased to meet ya.” I held out my hand to shake his, but he pulled me into his arms instead.

“You're right, love, I must be Will. I'm the good-looking one.”

I laughed. They were identical, except for the fact that Adam looked like he'd been pulled through the wringer.

Taking Adam's hand, I helped him inside. I knew by the set of his jaw my treating him like an invalid annoyed him, but he didn't complain, which was just as well because I couldn't help it. The robust, energetic man was a distant memory to the one who now sat beside me on the sofa, and my first instinct was to take care of him.

“You've lost weight,” I commented, then looked down at my tight-fitting top. “I found it for you.”

“What do you mean? You look just the same, as beautiful as the day we met.” His eyes shone as they searched my face. “I know I'm different,” he said with a sad smile. “But I promised I'd come back so…” He threw his hands to the side resignedly.

Will brought the bags in, leaving them by the door. We would have to discuss sleeping arrangements, as it appeared Will was staying too. He sighed as he sat heavily in the armchair by the fire, gave Max a quick pat on the head, kicked off his scuffed boots, and stretched his legs.

Not knowing what to say, I blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “So, how've you been?”

Adam smirked, his eyes lighting up. “Really well, and you?”

“Just dandy.”

We stared at each other for a moment; then the ridiculousness of the situation hit us and we both laughed. It was the icebreaker we needed. Adam's arm stretched out and rested on the back of the sofa as I leaned into his side.

I had come home.

“What happened?” I asked softly. There was no explanation required for my question. The elephant in the room was glaringly obvious.

“Oh, boy,” Will muttered under his breath, making Adam and I both look over. He smiled and gave Adam a nod, but offered no other comment.

“Will, can you give us a minute, please?” Adam asked.

But Will wasn't going anywhere. “That's fine, talk amongst yourselves. I don't mind.”

Adam rolled his eyes but returned his focus to me. A long sigh, signaling he was preparing to spill it all out. “I had cancer, baby.” He paused. “I
have
cancer.”

Tears welled as the floor fell out from beneath me. “Oh, Adam…” My head swam with so many questions, but yet not a single clear thought could be found. “Where? How…how'd ya find out?” My trembling hand went to his cheek, my face buried in his shoulder.

“I had a rare tumor in my heart called a pulmonary artery sarcoma.”

“You had?”

He nodded. “It was removed and I had chemotherapy, followed by radiotherapy.” His hand let go of mine and slowly pulled the beanie off his head. Short, soft hair fell into place, only about an inch long.

Reaching up, I gently ran my fingers through it. “It's growin' back.”

He scruffed his head. “Yes, finally.”

“When'd all this happen?”

Shifting uncomfortably, his eyes darted over to Will. So mine darted to Will. What were they not telling me?

“I found out a little over a year ago about the tumor.”

Wait! What?

“But…but you were here a year ago.” My mind was ticking over at double time. How could he have been sick when he was here?

“Here we go,” Will commented under his breath from his prime position by the fire. I glared at him, warning him to keep out of it.

Adam sighed. “The chance of surviving the surgery was slim, and to be honest, I initially wasn't going to have it at all. I was going to ride out the cancer, live for maybe a couple of months. Then I came here and met you…”

“So lemme get this straight.” I sat forward in my seat, angling my body so I could face Adam. “You thought you were gonna die, so you came here to give up, and met me. Then what?”

“Then I fell in love with you.”

“No, you kept it a secret!” My voice rose, my heart pounded. “How could you not tell me somethin' as serious as that, Adam? You let me fall in love with you knowin' that you might not ever come back.” Heat flushed my cheeks, my pulse thundering in my ears.

“I was always going to come back. I made you a promise.”

“We're not livin' in a fairy tale, Adam. You can't promise somethin' like that. All that swimmin' in the freezin' water—my God, did you have a death wish or somethin'? That's the most idiotic thing I've ever heard. You went to the hospital and you still didn't tell me.” I jumped up, needing to pace the floor. “You could've
died
, Adam, and I would never have known. I would've just been sittin' here, waitin' for you. Of all the selfish, pigheaded things…”

“I like this girl,” Will chirped.

“Stay out of it,” Adam and I both snapped.

Will's hands rose in surrender as he sank back into the chair, firmly buttoning his lips.

“I couldn't tell you I was sick, Evie.”

“Why not?” I stormed, stopping in front of him as he gazed up at me. “After everythin' we went through, how could you not trust me with somethin' as important as the fact that
you might die
?”

Tugging my hand, he pulled me to the seat beside him. “I didn't want you to mollycoddle me. How you relied on me, it made me feel whole again. It gave me hope that I could still be the man I wanted to be—the man you
needed
me to be. It made me fight.” Sighing resignedly, he added, “I fought for you, Evie. I promised I would come back and I didn't want to break that promise, so I willed myself to make it through.”

“You shouldn't have made a promise that you might not have been able to keep,” I said sharply. “You should've trusted me enough to tell me.” My brain couldn't process everything I was hearing, but I had to know one thing. “So are you cured after the surgery?”

Silence screamed from every corner of the room. Finally Adam shook his head. “I had the surgery so I could live for you, but no one can tell how long that will be.”

This was too much to take in. I needed air. Standing, I strode from the living room out to the back deck. As my hand clutched blindly for the railing, my stomach convulsed as the first sob bubbled out. With shaky legs, I managed to carry myself down the steps to the sand, where I crumbled. Head in hands, the floodgates opened until I was bawling, gasping for breath.

From the corner of my eye, a pair of blurred boots appeared before Will sat beside me.

“Must have come as a shock, love. We've had time to come to terms with it as best we can. We've cried, searched for answers, been angry. Christ, I've punched a few holes in walls. We've all gone through what you're feeling now, especially me. We shared a womb, so why him and not me?”

“I can't lose him, Will.”

“I know, love, I know.”

“How long?”

He shook his head, gazing out at the ocean. “It's a rare tumor, so there's not a lot to go by. Could be anywhere from six months to eight or nine years. We count every day as a blessing.” His hand rested on my shoulder. “But he's a fighter. We didn't know if he'd make it through the surgery, but he's fought it tooth and nail, because he made a promise to a certain young lady that he would see her again.”

“Well I'm gonna make him promise not to die, then, if he values promises so much.” I wiped my nose with the back of my hand. Humor was my fallback for every situation, but there was nothing funny about this.

“Please don't be angry with him. I truly believe that you're the reason he's still here. Still breathing.”

The stabbing pain in my chest made it difficult to catch my breath. Every shallow gasp felt as if a dagger sat between my shoulder blades. I thought of everything we had done during our short but poignant time together. Were there clues of Adam's illness that I had been too blinded by hope and love to see? His man-flu must have nearly frightened him to death, and that was why he had called Annabel, his ex-lover but also, no doubt, his cardiologist.