Broken (32 page)

Several seconds passed before he let out a rumbling growl. She jerked her head back and glared at him. They engaged in a staring contest and Kira was determined to win. She raised her brows to question his intentions and he finally caved.

“Fine, I will make sure they are compensated.” He breathed a sigh of defeat. “Now can we get back to
shopping?
I’d like to get you a shawl to match your new dress.”

Kira happily grinned at her victory and motioned for him to lead the way. After passing several street vendors, they stopped at the weaver’s table. While Kira inspected the intricate detail of each hand-woven shawl, Octavion watched her every move. When she looked at him, he’d wink or smile, making her insides turn to mush. The old woman waited on her patiently, letting her examine the shawls, comparing the shade of the thread to her dress. Nothing matched.

“I’m sorry,” Kira said. “I don’t see anything I like.”

“Serena, dear,” the old woman called over her shoulder. “Bring out the new shawl you finished this morning. Perhaps Lady Kira would like to see it.”

Kira froze. She had one hand buried in the nap of a shawl while the other grasped the front of her dress. If she could have reached in to hold onto her heart, she would have. Her stomach rose in her throat. She slowly turned to find Octavion, but he wasn’t looking at her anymore. The blood had drained from his face as his eyes caught sight of the woman he once loved.

Her sweet, angelic voice greeted Kira, but she couldn’t respond or move. Kira couldn’t take her eyes off his expression. He swallowed hard, tightening his jaw. His brow furrowed as he watched Serena come forward. When she said Kira’s name again, he turned away, hiding his face.

Kira numbly let her hands fall to her side and stepped closer to examine the shawl Serena placed on the table in front of her. Kira didn’t dare look up to see the girl’s face. She didn’t want to remember how much more beautiful Serena was than her. She especially didn’t want Serena’s image to intrude her dreams and be the subject of her nightmares.

Kira ran her fingers over the shawl, pretended it was the perfect match to her new green dress and asked that it be taken to the castle. When she was sure Serena had gone back into the shop, she thanked the older woman and walked away. She’d only taken a few steps when the urge to escape struck her. She lifted the hem of her dress and ran through the market, darting in and out between the blurred figures she saw through her tears. She got to the main road leading to the castle, but instead of heading up the hill, she ran between two cottages. She rounded the back corner and collided head on with a rock solid, well-dressed man.

Kira stumbled back as several items the man held fell to the ground. “Oh, I’m so sorry, sir.” She wiped the tears from her face and bent to pick up the scattered objects—a small tattered book filled with beautiful drawings and a small pouch of nuts that spilled and scattered everywhere. She scooped the nuts back into the pouch, then noticed a small cylinder object next to a rock. She scooted a little closer and plucked the item from the ground. She rolled it over in her hand, thinking it was some kind of medieval pencil. Her stomach lurched when she realized what it was.

A small wooden flute.

Still crouched near the ground, she froze in place. She couldn’t look up to see the man’s face. She couldn’t run. She couldn’t do anything but stare at the flute.

The man lowered himself to her level. His large hand reached for her and with his index finger, he gently lifted her face so their eyes met. His long black hair shadowed his features, but there was no mistaking his eyes.

“Nigel?” A sigh of relief escaped her. He’d been the one who brought her food and water while in captivity. “You played this outside my window, didn’t you?”

Struck mute by his Darkord blood, he bowed his head slightly, then brushed a runaway tear from her face. He held his damp finger up between them with a questioning look.

“It’s nothing. I was running from Octavion. He—”

Nigel didn’t let her finish. He jumped to his feet and drew his knife, turning in the direction she’d come from.

“Stop! He didn’t hurt me.” Kira stood and grabbed his arm, pulling him around to the back of the cottage. “You can’t be seen. Xantara forbids Darkords within their walls and if Octavion catches you here, he’ll kill you.”

Nigel slipped his knife back into its sheath. Running a gentle finger down the scar on her cheek, he gave her a questioning look. He took her hand and touched the Crystor.

“No, it doesn’t work,” she said.

Nigel took a deep breath and put a hand to his heart as if to say he was sorry.

“It’s not your fault. You saved me. I’d be dead if it weren’t for you.”

Nigel brushed another tear from her cheek and held it up for her to see. Another questioning look crossed his face.

“No, Octavion didn’t hurt me. Not like you think. It’s just . . . there’s another girl, someone he knew before.”

Nigel’s shoulders drooped as he let out a breath.

“Why are you here? Don’t you know how dangerous it is?”

He motioned to Kira and smiled.

“You’re here to check up on me?”

He nodded.

“That’s sweet, Nigel, but I’m okay. I don’t want you to get caught here. You need to go.”

For a long moment, he stared into her eyes—until she looked away. She didn’t understand why she felt so comfortable around him when she should fear him. Even though he’d saved her, he was still a Darkord and brother to the man who’d tortured her.

Nigel laid a gentle hand on her cheek and turned her to face him. Then he patted his hand over his heart and motioned toward her.

“I don’t understand,” Kira said.

He sighed heavily, then paced for a moment before drawing his knife. Kira jumped back, thinking he might try to hurt her, then realized he was just trying to make a point. She relaxed a little, but kept her distance.

Nigel put the tip of the knife over his heart and made a motion as if stabbing himself, then pointed to Kira and nodded.

“You want me to kill myself?”

He shook his head.

“You want to take your own life?”

A look of frustration washed over his face as he repeated the sequence with the knife, once again pointing to her.

Now she understood. “You’d die for me, to keep me safe.”

He smiled, nodded and replaced his knife.

“But that doesn’t make sense. You don’t even know me.”

He straightened to his full height and slammed his right fist over his heart. The same gesture Luka made to Octavion—a sign of respect and obedience, she supposed. Only she was pretty sure Luka’s was far from genuine.

“You want to be my guardian, don’t you? My protector?”

He nodded again.

“Kira?” Octavion’s voice sounded from nearby.

Kira grabbed Nigel’s arm and whispered to him. “Promise me you’ll go home. If he sees you, he’ll be angry. Please. I don’t want you hurt.”

Nigel looked in the direction of Octavion’s voice, then back at Kira and nodded. He turned and walked away.

“Wait,” Kira called out in a loud whisper. “I mean you need to go, like disappear like you did in the barn. If you don’t, you’ll get caught.”

Nigel looked back over his shoulder, the look of pain and deep regret in his eyes. Then he continued walking. He didn’t need words for her to understand he’d lost the power to travel with his mind. It twisted a place in her heart she tried to forget existed—where she’d buried the pain of her mother’s abandonment. Somehow, even though the situations were nothing alike, she knew how alone and lost he felt.

Kira leaned against the cottage wall and tried to compose herself. Running into Nigel had taken her mind off Serena, but now her emotions returned. She’d been a fool. How could she believe Octavion wouldn’t still love Serena? How could she think for even one minute that she could fill the void she left in his heart? Kira slid down the wall and lowered her head into her hands.

“Kira.” Octavion’s panicked voice made her jump.

“Go away,” she begged.

His steps caused little pebbles to scatter as he came closer. She looked up to find him down on one knee beside her. The color had returned to his face, but his expression was still the same.

“I am sorry. I did not realize she would be there. I . . .” He didn’t finish, just turned and sat next to her with his back against the wall. He drew one knee up and draped his arm over it.

“You still love her.”

He shook his head. “I knew that is what you thought and I have no words to convince you otherwise.”

“Because it’s true,” Kira said. “If you knew she was still alive, you never would have brought me here.”

Octavion sighed deeply. “The love I once felt for her is different from what I feel for you. It was a boyhood crush, nothing more. But when I saw her . . .” He picked a pebble from the ground and flipped it against a tree, then turned to face Kira. “It was like seeing a ghost. I could not take my eyes off her . . . not because I felt love, but because I could not trust my own eyes. When I saw her face, it was as if I had stepped from reality. I thought I was dreaming, but then . . . I felt light headed. After you ran off, I had to sit for a moment to gain my balance. I am so sorry, Kira. I knew what you thought. I knew I hurt you. But I no longer love her.”

His words bounced around in her head and she didn’t know what to believe. “If you still love her, I can go home. I don’t want to stand in the way of you being happy.”

“Oh, Kira. I love
you
. The only feelings I have for Serena are from guilt. I feel bad that she has suffered at the hands of my father. Nothing more.”

Kira stared into his eyes for the longest time, trying to see truth in his words, but nothing came. She would have to trust him and hope he didn’t lay awake at night thinking of Serena instead of her—pray he saw Kira’s face in his dreams and not Serena’s.

Kira dried her tears and stood, using the wall for support. When she bent to brush the dirt from her dress, he also stood. He took her in his arms and buried his face in her hair. But when he took in a breath—taking in her scent as he always did—he stiffened and pushed her away, holding her at arm’s length. Threads of yellow swam in his eyes.

“Where is he?”

“Who?”

“Do not lie to me, Kira. I can smell him on you.” He dropped his hands, walked a few feet away and stopped. For several moments he remained eerily quiet. So quiet, she knew he shared his thoughts with Nigel—assuming Nigel still had the ability to do that. With each second that passed, his expression became more and more stressed and angry as he paced back and forth. He slammed his fist into the cottage wall and turned to face her.

“You will not see him again, understood?”

Kira propped her fists on her hips. “It’s not like I planned it. I ran into him when I came back here to get away from
you
and your
girlfriend
. If anyone has a reason to be jealous, it’s
me
.” She spun around and walked away.

Octavion quickly caught up to her. “I am not jealous. A Darkord only has half a soul and even under the best circumstances, they can turn on you.” He took her arm and turned her to face him. Some of the anger had left him, but he was nowhere near calm. “I am worried for your safety. That is all.”

Kira put a hand on his chest and pushed him away. “Nigel saved my life. He brought me food and water when everyone else left me for dead. He even turned against his own brother. If it weren’t for him, Cael would have raped and killed me. You should thank him and invite him to dinner at the castle, not exile him like he were some kind of monster.”

She threw her hands up in the air and started walking again. She’d only taken a few steps when she spun around to finish making her point. “At least
he
doesn’t look at me like I’m his next meal.”

The minute the words left her mouth, she regretted speaking them. She knew how much Octavion struggled with his cravings—how much he fought the curse. It wasn’t his fault he was a hybrid and he’d done everything in his power to keep her and the other villagers safe from his heritage.

She watched as he stepped back and slumped against the cottage wall. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to. She knew she’d cut him to the core and she couldn’t take the words back.

Kira ran back and threw herself in his arms. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to say that, it just popped out.” When she didn’t feel Octavion’s arms around her, she pushed away and looked up into his eyes. She’d crushed him, she could see it plainly.

“I’m sorry,” she repeated.

“Would you like me to send for the carriage?” he asked without looking at her.

“No, I want you to take me. Unless you’d rather I walk alone.”

His eyes finally met hers. “I love you, Kira. I would take my own life before I would let anyone hurt you—even me.”

“I know that. I was stupid. I didn’t mean it. I just got mad because you hate Nigel and if it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t even be here.”

He threaded his fingers through her hair. “I will try to understand how you feel, but he is a Darkord and every fiber of my being tells me not to trust him. I was taught to never trust them and going against that grinds against my back bone.” He pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her. “Can we compromise? If you see him again, tell me. And I will try not to kill him.” A smile spread across his face.