Authors: Nicola Haken

Broken (36 page)

BOOK: Broken

2.09Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub

ads

Isobel takes off without replying and James swiftly overtakes her before slowing down and letting her win. “Ah, you beat me!”

He’s so happy, right now.
We’re
so happy. Every moment like this is precious. There are times when he falls, moments when he relapses and gives into the darkness that’s tormented him all his life. But it’s okay, because I’m here. I’ve learned to recognise his silent cries for help and I offer my hand, guide him back. I know when he’s sitting in the dark of an evening, with no light or music, that he’s feeling numb. I know when he lets dishes pile up in the sink rather than putting them in the dishwasher that he’s tired, mentally
and
physically. I know that when he refuses to look into my eyes when he tells me he’s fine that he’s
not
fine. They’re such little things, things he doesn’t even realise he’s doing. Things that nobody else would notice because to another person such habits are their norm…but I notice because I
know
him. They’re just a few of the ‘unique to James’ signs and symptoms Tom told me I would learn to recognise, and he was right.

When you’re living with mental illness, there is no happily ever after, like the kind we write about every day. Instead, we look forward to future days spent basking in the most dazzling light, followed by ones drowning in the deepest depths of darkness. There is only one constant, one guarantee, no matter which day we face.

Love.

A love so powerful it will carry us through. We will survive. Together. And when we’re old and grey and the time comes for me to leave this world, I will do so knowing I was the luckiest man ever to live, for I got to call James Holden mine. An extraordinary man who showed me joy, sadness, and the greatest strength.

I will love him beyond forever.

The End.

Acknowledgements

This story and these characters hold a special place in my heart, so if you’ve got this far, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading, for sticking with my boys throughout their journey. I love you.

As always, thank you to Reese Dante for another stunning cover. I am in awe of you!

Next I feel my friend Emma needs a mention, even though she’s shit. She is my sounding board, my bitching partner, co-owner of our ‘shit list’. She listens to me whining and offers the obligatory ‘Aww Princess’ whenever I need it and is possibly the only person I’ve ever had a complete conversation with using only memes. Emma, you’re awesome, and it
almost
makes up for how shit you are. Don’t tell anyone, but I kinda love you.

Denise, my bellend, I love you HARD! Thank you for your support and encouragement, and for embracing me as a princess. Thank you for letting me vent to you, for listening, for being there. If you hadn’t have forced me to eat something green, I might just think you were pretty damn perfect!

Ooo Janie. Once again I feel incredibly lucky to have, not just a reader, but a friend like Janie. She never fails to amaze me with her enthusiasm and support. She also puts up with me whining and bitching whenever I need to, too! Janie, YOU ROCK!

Sanna Solin. Thank you for all the hard work you do for your favourite authors – for pimping, encouraging, and providing tips and tricks. You are a wonderful asset to this genre. Thank you!

Paula Agnes. You know how important to me you are, so all I can say, again, is thank you. You know the deepest parts of me, you’re
always
there for me, and I hope you know I’m always there for you, too. Thank you for your friendship, girl. It, and
you
, mean the world to me.

TRACY McKAY! Since my last release I have acquired a new friend who is all kinds of FUCKING AWESOME! I swear, we are the
same
person. You’re an ear to rant to, a brain to bounce ideas off and I have lots to thank you for, but really, it’s all about the porn. Keep it coming!

Now for my beta readers! I have the best in the whole damn world. Emma, Paula, Tracy, Keeley, Denise, Theresa, Janie, Jackie, Danni, Laura, Lisa, Melanie and Karen. THANK YOU! Thank you for lending me your keen eyes, for loving my stories, for being there. I love you all to the moon and back and I’m insanely grateful to each and every one of you. I feel lucky to know you guys, and relieved I don’t have to send my baby out into the world without having your approval first!

Thank you to the whole MM genre, and all the fantabulous people in it. I’ve never experienced a community like it. I have made some very special, lifelong friends in this genre. The support from readers, fellow authors, and bloggers is incredible and I feel insanely privileged to be a part of it.

Bloggers. Yes, I’m a copout because I won’t name any specifically, and that’s because I just know I will forget to mention someone important. But know that I love and appreciate everything you do for me, and the book world in general. I would be nowhere without your support. Thank you for everything you do.

Again, it has been a pleasure working with Ena and Amanda from Enticing Journey Book Promotions. Thank you for all the hard work you dedicate to the authors who work with you. You’re freakin’ awesome!

NICOLA’S COCKYBITCHES! I set up my secret group purely to make friends who are as filthy-minded as I am. Some have read my books, some haven’t, but it’s not about that in there. It’s not
just
about the gay porn and the hot men. It’s about friendship. You guys keep that group going when I’m not always there and I can’t thank you enough for sticking around. Thank you for being in there, for being my friend, and for posting pics of delicious men! I fucking
adore
you guys in there. I love you, my bitches!

Finally, my readers. Thanks to you, I get to live my dream, doing something I
love
, every single day. Thank you for reading, for supporting me, for interacting with me. I love each and every one of you.

About the Author

Nicola lives in Rochdale, UK, with her husband and four little shi- children. She is addicted to tattoos and Pepsi Max, hates even numbers and metal spoons, and is altogether a little bit weird. She’s also really crap at referring to herself in third person and making herself sound interesting.

If you want to keep up with my crazy world, you can do that by following me here:

http://www.facebook.com/nicolahaken

http://www.twitter.com/NicolaHaken

https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7094294.Nicola_Haken

http://www.pinterest.com/nicolahaken/

Follow my Tumblr page at your own risk!

http://nicolahaken.tumblr.com

Instagram - @nicolahaken

Other titles by Nicola Haken

MM Romance

Being Sawyer Knight (Souls of the Knight #1)

Taming Ryder (Souls of the Knight #2)