Broken (8 page)

He followed her to her bedroom. She kissed him again. His response was no longer reflexive, but intentional. Neely unbuttoned Raif's shirt and slid it off his arms. He tentatively laid her back on her bed. They made love gently and tenderly. Each felt they might be able to live again.

Sometime later as Raif and Neely lay in each other's arms, the old song by Meatloaf, "Two out of Three Ain't Bad," played softly on the radio. Neely looked up at Raif as he looked down at her. Their eyes locked. The words cut like a knife. She reached up and touched his cheek. "It's enough to be wanted and needed," she breathed. "I was afraid nobody would ever want me again."

Raif shook his head. "No, it's not enough. God help me, I did need you tonight. You are very desirable, but you deserve so much more. You deserve to be loved." He kissed her passionately. He pulled her closer and made love to her once more.

10

To Live Again

M
id-mornin
g
found Raif and Neely still sleeping and someone pounding on the back entrance to Neely's apartment.

Raif squeezed her hand as she got out of bed.

"Company?" he asked.

She rolled her eyes. "Don't worry. That will be either Amile or Colleen," she assured.

"Who are they?"

"Colleen is the elderly voodoo priestess next door on that side." She pointed left. "Amile owns the café on the other side. They worry about me."

Neely slipped into her bathrobe and answered her door. Colleen DuPin burst in. "Neely, chile, you all right? You ain't opened up yet." Colleen scrutinized the younger woman, crinkling the burnt-parchment-colored skin of her face even more than her aged wrinkles already did. "You got company?" she asked with a tilt of her head.

"Come back a little later. I'll be open soon." She made her way to stand in front of the bedroom door.

"Is that fine looking man I seen entering after you normally close still here?" Colleen stormed to the bedroom, pushing past Neely.

Neely shouted, "Colleen!"

Raif sat up in bed. "What the?"

"You trifling with this girl?" demanded Colleen, slapping a hand to her ample hip. "I'll put a curse on you so fast…"

"Whoa!" Raif exclaimed, lifting both hands as if in surrender. "No curses, please! I've had enough curses!"

"What about a love potion?" She jutted her chin toward him and opened her almost black eyes as wide as they would go. "What you got on under them covers?"

"Would you like me to show you?" he asked, trying to bluff the old woman.

The wizened old voodoo queen narrowed her eyes to slits. "Yeah, I would. I wanna see if it's enough to keep Neely happy."

"Colleen, stop it!" cried Neely, her face blazing hot and red. "Colleen, this is Raiford Gautier."

The old woman glowered at the man. "You purty little Patrick's daddy?"

"Yes, Colleen," Neely rushed to answer. "Raif, meet my protector, Colleen DuPin."

"Nice to meet you, Miss DuPin," said Raif, flashing Colleen his perfect smile.

"Don't try to butter me up!" snapped Colleen. "I don't care whose daddy you are. You break this girl's heart, and you'll be feeling pain in parts you didn't know existed." Colleen huffed from the room.

Neely followed her. "Colleen!"

"Somebody's gotta watch out for you. That man's too purty to be real." Colleen left.

Neely put her forehead against the door and bumped the wood several times. She puffed her cheeks out and blew a raspberry toward where the old woman had just left. As Neely turned around, Raif came out of the bedroom fully dressed, holding a dead cell phone in his hand. In explanation, he said, "I need to get back. Nobody knows where I am." He held up the phone. "I wondered why I didn't get a call or text. Battery's dead."

"I'm really sorry about Colleen," Neely said nervously and going to the kitchen. "You can't leave without breakfast."

"I'm fine," assured Raif.

"At least coffee," Neely insisted starting the coffee pot and suddenly bursting into tears and pounding the counter with the heels of her hands.

"Whoa!" said Raif coming around the bar. He slipped his arms around Neely and pulled her close as he rubbed his cheek against her hair. He turned her around and wiped the tears from her eyes with his thumbs. "Don't cry," he whispered.

Through catches in her breath, Neely said, "You must think I'm a horrible person."

"Why? No. You're amazing."

"Do you know how long it had been since I was last with a man I
wanted
to be with? College, Raif." She pushed back with her hands splayed on his chest. "Then, he joined the Navy and met a woman overseas. He's the only other man I ever gave myself to. Raif, I've thought about you since I met you all those years ago. I'm insane. How could I just fall into bed with you?" What Neely did not say was, "Will I ever see you again?"

"Oh," said Raif gently as he pulled her into his arms again. "Do you have any idea how much I
need
to be with you right now, how much I
want
to be here?"

She laughed a little hysterically. "But there ain't no way you're ever gonna love me. But I shouldn't be sad, 'cause, 'two out of three ain't bad.'"

"Neely, I don't know what to say. I don't want to leave. You make me feel so alive. Please, tell me I
can
come back. I need time. Please, give me time."

Raif took Neely's face in his hands. He kissed her deeply and then whispered, "No tears. No regrets. I
will
be back."

Staring at Raif's back, Neely dried her own tears. She picked up her phone and called Esther.

Esther answered cheerfully, "Hey, Neely, honey. Tell me something good."

Neely said almost in a whisper, "You won't believe what happened."

"Do tell."

"My fantasy walked in my door last night. He just walked out."

"Are you serious?" Esther practically shouted. "Did you sleep with him, honey? He's a married man."

"No, he's not. He's a widower. His wife was the police detective that was killed in Eau Boueuse. Esther, I'm terrified."

"Why? He's available, and obviously interested. Did he tell you this was a one night stand, honey?"

"No, he actually said he'd be back. But what if he doesn't come back, Esther? I want to live again, but what if he can't love me?"

"Honey, then, he's a fool, and you're better off without him. But don't let that fear stop you from living again. If he actually comes back, go for it."

Raif walked in his door as Trista came down the stairs. Townes had left for boot camp, and she was staying in her room. She sounded like a parent as she demanded, "Dad, where have you been?"

"New Orleans."

"What were you doing there?"

"Feeling alive."

"What?"

"Trista, I want to live again. Can you understand that?"

"I think I can, Dad, but what's in New Orleans?"

"You'll know in time."

"Dad, should I ask, 'Who's in New Orleans?'"

"Maybe you should." He put his hand on the rounded top of the post at the end of the staircase banister and looked up at his daughter who stood a few steps above him. "I'm going to talk to Uncle Ray. I'll be home for dinner tonight." He turned around and left as quickly as he had walked in.

Raif knocked on Ray's office door. Lawrence Dantzler was there. Ray motioned Raif in.

Raif said, "I need to talk to you. I can come back later." He tilted his head to the side. "Unless you have some news about Chris's murder."

"Nonsense," Dantzler said. "We're done here. I'll be down the hall with Parker. I'm his temporary partner, but almost everything we look into just turns out to be a dead end." He walked out.

Raif took the chair Dantzler vacated. Ray looked him over. "Hmm," he growled. "I don't know how to decipher your face right now. Where have you been? Trista was almost hysterical last night. We tried to call, but it went directly to voicemail."

"Sorry. Dead." He held up the phone he had still yet to charge. "Ray, I want to live again."

Ray leaned back in his chair. "Okay. Please, explain."

"Yesterday, I put flowers on Chris's grave. I talked to her and told her everything that's happened and how I've been feeling. I've been so lost and broken without her." He bumped his palms several times in rapid succession on the arms of the chair.

A smile flickered across Ray's face as he remembered Raif doing the exact motion the first time they met. It was a nervous habit Raif had no idea he had. Ray lifted an eyebrow to encourage his twin to continue his story.

"Now, when I tell you the next part, don't think that I'm hearing voices again," Raif went on, "but while I was sitting there, I could have sworn Chris told me to follow my feet and see where they would take me. So, I listened. I got in my car and started driving. I had no idea where I was going."

"Where
did
you go?"

"New Orleans. Timeless Tattoos."

"Did you get another tattoo?" Ray leaned forward with his arms on his desk.

"No."

"What exactly
did
you do?"

"I spent the night with an amazing woman." He closed his eyes and sighed.

"Neely?" asked Ray. "The
girl
who owns the shop?"

Shaking his head, Raif said, "She's not a girl, Ray. She's timeless. She's extraordinary. She made me feel so alive."

"Sex, Raif? Is that what we're talking about?"

"No." He shook his head. "Yes, we did, but Ray"—He let out a long sad sigh—"she made me feel alive partly because she refused to die." He tightened his hands around the armrests on the chair. "I know that you saw the news about the attacks in New Orleans and you knew Journey was investigating them when he was killed.
Neely
is the one who lived—the
thirteenth
one, Ray—the one Steve was going to see when he was shot. We talked about all the bad things we've been through this year. Yes, we ended up in bed, and I'm not sorry.

"Ray, I don't want to hurt Neely. She's precious. I really want to get to know her, Ray. Tell me what you think."

"Wow!" Ray allowed his body to thud back against his chair. "Should you live again?" He gave a quick nod. "Absolutely. With Neely?" He shrugged. "That's something only you can decide, but if you want to give this relationship a chance to grow, do it."

"She's twenty years younger than I am."

"Okay. That's a consideration. She might want a family. Are you ready for another one?"

"She can't. I mean, she told me that after her attack, they hurt her too much, she can't have children unless she has a miracle."

"I see. How do you feel about that?"

"I feel the need to protect her—to keep her safe." He frowned. "But I made her cry, Ray. She thinks I don't think highly of her anymore because we…"  He gave a rolling hand motion indicating his twin could finish the statement.