Broken Glass (28 page)

Everyone was already there, including Julianne, who walked up to us immediately. She was wearing a gorgeous midnight blue dress with her red hair pinned up on her head.

“Oh, you all look so wonderful!” she exclaimed. “I’ve got to get a picture!” She ran over to Josephine, who was standing against the wall in a floor length black dress.

“Josephine, you look gorgeous,” Henry called to her. She flashed him a large smile as she handed Julianne a camera.

“Thank you, baby!” she laughed. “
Aren’t you all just scrumptious-
looking tonight!”

“Smile!” Julianne said, aiming the camera at the four of us. We all gave our best smiles and were nearly blinded by the bright picture flash. I had to blink fast for a couple of seconds to fully regain my vision.

“This all looks really great, Julianne,” I told her, talking loudly over the music that was playing.

“Oh, well it was a combined effort,” she replied. “You and Henry did most of this decorating!”

“We definitely didn’t have anything to do with the strobe lights and disco balls,” Henry laughed. “It all really came together.”

“The
re are
a lot of people here,” Channing commented, looking around. Not only our small
ward of patients was
attending, but also all the nurses and techs from our ward and other parts of Craneville were standing around, all dolled up. I smiled when I saw Princess Golden dancing contently in the middle of the room.

“Where’s Aurelia?” I heard Channing ask then. I looked at her and was surprised that there was a slightly worried expression on her face.

“Who knows,” Henry said. “C’mon, Chan. Let’s go dance!” He grabbed her hand and dragged her out to the middle of the room.

“Who would’ve pegged Henry as a dancer?” Shakespeare said to me.

“If you can even call that dancing,” I laughed.

“Oh, you have to give him some credit,” Julianne laughed
,
too, then. “What d’you say, Shakespeare? May this old lady have a dance with a young handsome man as yourself?”

“I’d be honored,” Shakespeare grinned and held out his hand. She took it and off they went. I couldn’t help but smile at them. I stood there for another moment, just watching everyone dance, and then made my way over to the tables in the corner of the room to get some punch.

As I was dipping the blood red punch out of the punch bowl and pouring it into my cup, I heard my name
.

“Ava.”

My hand f
roze mid-dipping out the punch
when I felt his warm breath on my ear. I didn’t turn to him. I didn’t say anything.

“Mind getting me some punch, while you
’
r
e
at it?” he asked, his voice joking now. I slowly lowered the big spoon back into the punch bowl. I just stared down at the punch, not speaking to him.

“Are you going to talk to me, Ava?” he asked, and he touched my arm then, caus
ing me to jump. I looked at him
finally.

“I don’t have anything to say,” I was surprised at how cold my voice sounded. He was, too, by the look on his face.

“Is this about my absence?” he asked me then, his tone becoming very gentle. “Ava, I’m sorry, I just
—
”

“Why are you apologizing?” I asked, letting my eyes meet his. This was a mistake. “You don’t have to come visit me every day. I’m a nutcase, I’m supposed to be alone most of the time anyway.”

“Ava,” he said, with a defeated sigh. “Please don’t say such things. I wanted to come see you…God knows I did.”

“Why?” I replied and I realized my hands were shaking. “I’m nothing to you, just a patient. And that’s okay. I shouldn’t be a priority in your life.”

“But, Ava, you
are
a priority for me,” he said, and I was surprised at his suddenly pained voice. I just stared at him, unable to breathe, unable to think.

“I-I need some fresh air,” I mumbled and sat my cup of punch down on the table. I rushed past him and to the door.

“Josephine, can I go outside on the walkway and get some air?” I asked her, as she was standing by the door. She nodded and smiled.

“Sure, baby, are you all right?” she asked.

“Yeah, I’m just a little hot, wanted to cool off,” I offered her the biggest smile I could manage.

“Okay, don’t be out too long, now,” she was smiling back and I quickly made my way outside. When the cool night air hit my face, I could finally breathe again. I only took a few steps before collapsing in the grass. I began to cry, my breath coming in heavy gasps. What was going on? Why did I have this horrible feeling inside of me? Why was I so upset
—
angry, even
—
with Conner? I hadn’t meant what I’d said about not being his priority. I knew I hadn’t. But it should be true, shouldn’t it? I shouldn’t be anything to him. So why did he keep saying I was? It wasn’t right. It just wasn’t ri
ght.

“Ava!”

I looked up an
d saw Conner running towards me. He knelt down beside me.

“Ava, what is this?” he asked, gently wiping my tears
away
with his thumbs. My lips were quivering now. The December air was very cold on my bare arms.

“I don’t know,” I whispered, more tears rolling down my cheeks. “Oh, Henry will kill me. I bet my make-up’s all runny now.”

Conner smiled.

“You look absolutely
stunning
,” he murmured, wiping more tears from my cheeks. “He won’t notice anything array, I’m sure.”

“Why did you follow me out here?” I asked him, abruptly. “If
your mother found you out here…
”

“What would happen?” he asked, and his voice was stern. “We’re not doing anything wrong, Ava. This isn’t wrong.”

I looked away from him when he said this. It had to be wrong.

“Why haven’t you come to
see me?” I whispered.
Conner sat back on the grass and sighed.

“I didn’t think you’d want me to,” he answered. “After what happened
—
or what
didn’t
happen
—
that day while you were decorating the activities room, I assumed you’d not want to see me again.”

I looked over at him quickly.

“That’s stupid!” I found myself sputtering. “Why would I ever just not want to see you again?”

He laughed and held up his hands.

“Whoa
!” he was chuckling. “No need to be so defensive! I was looking out for what I assumed was your best interest…I can see now I was mistaken?”

I d
idn’t answer him. All that time
I had been so sick and miserable, and it was just because he’d been a stupid boy. How irritating. How embarrassing that I’d gotten myself so worked up over his absence. I guess Conner could tell how annoyed I was at this situation, so he decided to take advantage of it and tease me.

“Aw, Ava,” he crooned, smiling crookedly. “Were you sad when I didn’t come ‘round? Did you miss me or something?”

I narrowed my eyes at him.

“I didn’t even notice,” I snapped back. He laughed, a deep rumbling laugh that caused me to smile, just a little.

“You’re a turd,” I told him. He laughed even harder.

“A what?” he asked. “A ‘turd’? You Americans…”

“Well you are!” I told him, almost scolding. “You come out here, all high and mighty, like you’re something special! Like I was dying without seeing you!”

“Well, weren’t you?” he was smirking now. I got to my feet.

“I’m going back inside,” I announced, quickly checking my dress for grass stains.

“You’re breathtaking tonight,” he said then and I looked over at him quickly. He was now standing up as well, staring at me. I felt my face turn hot. He took a step closer towards me, his face very close to mine again.

“If I didn’t think you’d slap the daylights out of me, I’d kiss you,” he whispered, the dimples deepening in his cheeks. I was definitely flushed now.

“I
would
slap you,” I whispered back, not allowing myself to look up to meet his green gaze.

“Just because I was an idiot and thought you wanted me to leave you alone?” he asked, chuckling softly. “Can’t you forgive a poor fool for that?”

“No,” I replied. “And anyway, it isn’t just that. You know I could never let you kiss me…or anyone kiss me, for that matter.”

“Do I know that?” he asked. “Hmmm, and what possible good reason could you have for doing that?”

“I can’t ever be with anyone like that again,” my voice was firm and I looked up at him now. “It’s just not meant for me. I’ve got too much baggage. You know that.”

“Everyone has baggage,” I noticed irritation creeping up in his voice. “What makes your baggage any different?”

“It just is,” I said, and I took a step away from him. For the first time, I noticed how wonderful he looked, all dressed up in black slacks, a hunter green shirt, and a
silver
tie. His hair looked longer, and I noticed a new curl hanging over his forehead.

“I’m a mess,” I told him, my voice softening. “I’m sorry for the way I am, but I don’t see that ever changing. Besides, I’m here for six more months. Who knows how much worse I could get.”

“Well, that’s certainly a good attitude to have,” Conner muttered, and suddenly, he walked past me.

“Where are you going?” I called after him.

“Inside,” he replied, not looking back at me. “It’s cold out here.”

Somehow, I knew he wasn’t
talking about the temperature.

I stood out there for
a few more minutes, feeling chilly
and abandoned. Was I hurting him by being honest? Was I hurting myself?

My thoughts were broken by Shakespeare bursting out the ward doors and running towards me.

“What is it?” I asked him immediately.

“It’s Aurelia,” he gasped, trying to catch his breath. “She’s dead.”

21
.

The lounge area was filled with everyone from the
New Year’s Eve
party when Shakespeare and I got back inside. They were all talking loudly amongst themselves, confused and worried looks on every face. Julianne was nowhere to be seen.

“Henry!” Shakespeare called, and Henry ran over to us from the crowd.

“What happened?” I asked.

“Not exactly sure,” he was biting his bottom lip nervously. “Channing and Julianne are in
Aurelia’s
room, along with some nurses and paramedics. Channing found her about ten minutes ago and we all heard screaming coming from the ward, so a bunch of nurses ran back there and that’s all they’ve told us.”

“You’re sure she’s…
dead
?”
My mouth was wide open in shock
, not believing this.

“Yeah, that’s a definite,” he sighed and put his hand to his forehead. “I can’t believe this.”

“Oh, Henry, are you all right?” I put my hand on his shoulder. He looked at me, and his eyes were tired.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he said. “Just wishing I knew more. I hate waiting like this.”

“Me, too,” Shakespeare spoke up.

“Are you all right?” I whispered to him. He just shrugged, not saying anything.

Then, the ward doors opened and two paramedics
slowly wheeled out a stretcher topped with what clearly was a body covered by a thin white sheet.
The reality of Aurelia’s death hit me then like a ton of bricks. What on earth had happened?

I was surprised when another pair of paramedics wheeled another stretcher out, this one with a living, breathing body on it.

“Channing!” I called out, running over to them. She was lying there, staring up at the ceiling and shaking.

“Channing,” I cried again, trying to get to her, but I felt someone grab me by my arms from behind.

“They’ve got to get her out of here,” Conner’s voice was in my ear. “She’s okay, Ava, just let them go for now so they can get her some help.”

I nodded and just stood there, watching helplessly as they wheeled Channing out.

“Oh, God, what’s wrong with her?” I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I tur
ned around and buried
my face against Conner’s shirt, the tears spilling out.

“Shhhh, shhhh, Ava, she’ll be
all right,” Conner lips were
against my hair. He wrapped his
arms around me and held me
to him as I cried.

“She looked so helpless!” I cried. “What happened to her?” I pulled away and looked up at his face. There was deep concern in his eyes.