Broken Heart (Broken Heart #1) (28 page)

I might be pregnant. I didn’t want to be pregnant. It wasn’t the right time. How could I even think of having an abortion with the man I love so much? I needed to get to the doctor ASAP. 

I had to make an appointment with my family doctor right away. I hadn’t contacted Dr. Joe from Pennsylvania since I moved here to New York. I was hoping he was available and able to see me.

He worked at Mount Sinai hospital. Uncle Mike had given me a couple of numbers to some people he knew in New York and that included Lindsay’s daughter who studied at

NYU and Dr. Joe. I didn’t want to make an appointment with my gynecologist because it would have looked even more suspicious.

I called Mount Sinai and they transferred me to his office.

“I’d like to make an appointment with Dr. Joseph Leonard please” I asked nervously.

“Just a moment please.” I waited on the phone as I listened to the elevator music that was playing while I was on hold. “Ma’am.” 

“Yes.”

“He has a cancellation. Can you come in today?”

“Yes.”

“Are you a new patient, because if you are you’ll have to wait until next week,” she said sternly.

“No, I’m not a new patient. They just haven’t transferred my files from

Pennsylvania yet.”

“No problem. Can you come in at four?”

“Yes.”

“Okay we’ll see you then. Bring your insurance cards.” She hung up the phone, and I felt relieved.

I waited patiently at the apartment to grab a cab and head out to Mount Sinai. I was so nervous I was pacing back and forth in the hallway. What was I going to tell Michael if I was pregnant? I had no idea what I was going to do. None.

I walked downstairs and hailed a cab. I was so anxious I wanted to throw up. My phone vibrated in my purse. It was a text message from Michael.

Hey baby, where’s my favorite girl? I called you at the apartment. Michael

I’m heading to the salon. I wanted to get a pedicure. I was thinking of cutting my hair.

J

Are you crazy? Don’t touch those beautiful black locks!

Michael

Ok…you twisted my arm. Where are you?

J

I’m in court. I got Tina Danielson’s alleged murderer out on bail. Damn! I’m good.

Michael

You’re the best! But, Jesus Michael, are you crazy? He’s dangerous! 

J

Not to you he isn’t. I’ll see you at the apartment tonight. By the way they are sending the movers with your boxes to the apartment. I gave Margaret the keys. She’ll meet us there. I love you. See you later.

Michael

I love you too.

J

I arrived at Mount Sinai and paid the cab driver. I looked around making sure I didn’t see anyone I knew. I walked to the security desk and asked for Dr. Joe’s office. They directed me to the third

floor. I pressed for the elevator and waited patiently for it to arrive. My stomach was in knots not to mention I was so nauseous I could throw up in my mouth. The elevator finally opened and I

stepped in, holding my stomach and praying that the restroom was nearby when I got out. I walked to the reception area and wrote my name down on the clipboard. I found the restroom and went in.

I stood at the sink and gagged a little, but nothing came out. I placed a paper towel under the cold water and placed it on my forehead. I looked in the mirror and said to myself “you’re definitely

pregnant” and walked out. “Jenesis Heart.” I heard them call my name and I walked over to the receptionist.

“Insurance cards, please.” I opened my purse and pulled out my wallet. “Jenesis? Jenesis Heart?” I heard a man’s voice. I turned around to face him.

“Dr. Joe,” I said as Dr. Joe stood in front of me.

“Jenesis, what are you doing here?” he said, surprised, hugging me tightly and kissing me on the cheek.

“I live here.” I was so relieved to see him.

“Come on in.” He guided me through the double doors and into his office in the back. “I can’t believe you’re here. How are your parents?” he asked happily.

“They’re dead,” I whispered softly. He turned around and looked at me. His smile disappeared from his face as he shook his head.

“What do you mean?” he asked stunned.

“They were killed a couple of months ago in a car accident on route 209,” I said as my stomach winced.

“Oh my God, Jenesis, I’m so sorry.” He reached out to hug me, and I turned around and threw up on the floor.

“Are you okay?” he asked as he rubbed my back. I sat up and he gave me a tissue to wipe my mouth. He walked over to his desk and picked up the phone. “Cynthia, can you call John, I need

something cleaned up in my office.” He hung up the phone and walked me in to an examining room.

“Jen, what’s going on?” he asked.

“I don’t feel well. I’ve been throwing up, and I have a lot of pain in my stomach.”

“Any chance you’re pregnant?”

“Maybe, I have so much pain…here.” I placed my hand on the lower part of my belly.

“Here, lay down.” Dr. Joe pressed on my belly, and it was sore. “I’m going to take a urine sample and I’m going to call my colleague Dr. Kate to check you internally. She’s here at the hospital today,” he said as he took his cell phone out of his pocket and sent a text to the doctor. “She’ll be

here in a few minutes. Let’s see your urine test. Take this, wipe and pee. You know the routine.” He smiled.

I went to the bathroom, wiped, and peed in the cup just like he said. I glanced over at the mirror, heartbroken. I should have been more careful. I’ve been so careless when it came to sex and so has

Michael. We both lose our minds and now I’m paying the price. I hope I’m not pregnant.  I handed Dr. Joe the urine sample and he placed the strip inside. 

“Jenesis…you’re pregnant.” My worst fear…I was pregnant. My heart hit the floor and my stomach did somersaults. I remember that night I only had one or two condoms and we did it more

than once, plus, he used the pull out method when he didn’t feel like wearing one. What have I done? What was I going to do? A baby now will ultimately ruin this relationship and I just got

engaged. If he had commitment issues before, a baby would send him over the edge. We haven’t built that foundation yet to create a family.   I was so upset that I was pregnant and I felt tormented

inside as to what I should do. I knew I could talk to Joe. He was always real and upfront with me, and with my mother, he told her a millions times to leave my father, and almost got into a fight

with him when he saw my mother with a black eye once. I needed to put my trust in someone right now and I needed his advice.

“Joe, I’m not ready to have a baby. I feel so terrible. What should I do?” I asked him crying uncontrollably, the tears flowing like a river down my face into my mouth. He held my hand and said,

“Let’s do a blood test and sonogram. Jen, it’s not the end of the world. Give your relationship a chance to be strong and grow. You can have children later in your marriage. I’ll make an

appointment with GYN for Friday. It will be over and done with in no time. Cut yourself some slack, you’re a smart young woman, there’s a time and a place for everything, get married. Enjoy your life with your husband first.” 

I looked up at him whimpering. He wiped the tears off of my cheeks with the back of his hand and leaned his forehead against mine and whispered,

“You’re the catch of the century, Jenesis, look at you. You made a mistake, but you’re probably early in your pregnancy. We’ll draw some blood now, and I’ll make sure you get the result

tomorrow, and I’ll send you for an internal sonogram tomorrow to see where we’re at. I know it doesn’t make it right, I know your mother was a good Christian woman, but sometimes things

happen, and we’re just not ready for them. Make this guy worship you before he has to start paying attention to someone else.” Dr. Kate walked in.

“Hi, I’m Dr. Kate,” she said warmly.

“Hi,” I said wiping my tears with my hands.

“Okay, let’s have a look. Change into this gown. Everything off, from the waist down,” she said softly.

“She’s pregnant,” Dr. Joe said. Hearing those words made me die inside, and I started to tremble. “Kate, thanks for coming on such short notice.” He smiled, and his eyes lit up at the sight of her. She was very pretty, and it seemed there was chemistry between them.

“Well, congratulations, and it’s no problem Joe, anything for you.” She gave him a flirtatious smile.

I got up from the table and changed my clothes in the bathroom. I walked out and laid on the table and spread my legs for the examination. 

“I’m sorry, I know this is uncomfortable,” she whispered. Tears streamed down my face as she turned on the sonogram machine. I turned my face away from the television screen.

“I don’t want to look. Please, I want to leave,” I sniveled. I couldn’t bear to look. I knew I wouldn’t have this baby, and I couldn’t look…I just couldn’t.

“It’s okay. I’m done. You can get dressed now. Joe, call my office and make an appointment. I have to go. I have a C-section in a half an hour.”

She removed her gloves and washed her hands. “Nice meeting you Jenesis, good luck. I’ll see you soon.”

“Thank you,” I whispered as I walked into the bathroom to get dressed. I dressed slowly feeling guilty and trying not to touch my belly as I slid my pants up to my waist. I looked in the mirror

and shook my head then opened the door and walked out. I sat on the chair near the examining table.

Dr. Joe walked over to me.

He kissed my forehead and picked up his cell phone that lay near the sink. 

“Maggie, schedule a termination of pregnancy for Jenesis Heart with Dr.

Kate. Try to make it as early as possible on Friday, this Friday. Thanks.” 

He looked over at me and winked. I smirked miserably and waited for Maggie to schedule the appointment for me. As he spoke on the phone, all I could think about was this baby I was carrying

inside of me. What he or she would look like? Would he have blue-green eyes like Michael? Would she have hazel eyes like mine? My daydream soon was interrupted by Dr.

Joe’s inevitable question, 

“Friday at 8:00AM, is that good for you, Jenesis?” I snapped out of my daydream quickly enough to answer “yes,” a heartrending yes. Friday seemed so early, but I knew why he was doing this…he doesn’t want to give me time to think or change my mind.

I was heading home in a cab, then asked the cabby to change routes and headed to Dave and Margaret’s instead. I knocked on his door and when he opened it, I fell into his arms.

“Jen, what is it?” he said as he held me.

“I just need you, Dave. I need you and Margaret. Is she here?” I cried.

“She’s taking a shower. What’s wrong?” he asked concerned as he looked into my eyes.

“I miss my mother…I really miss her.” I cried and cried until Margaret came out. She grabbed me and led me to her bedroom.

“Jenesis, what’s wrong?” she pleaded feeling helpless. I grabbed on to her and then broke down. I didn’t tell her. I couldn’t tell her. I just lay on her bed and closed my eyes and cried and cried.

“It’s okay…go to sleep. I’ll call Michael.” She walked out of the bedroom and I curled up into a ball holding on to my stomach and cursing myself under my breath. I heard a knock on the door. Then I heard Michael’s voice.

“Michael, thanks for coming to pick up Jenesis, how are you?” I heard Margaret ask him.

“I’m fine. Is Jenesis okay?” he said softly. “What happened?”

“She misses her mother. She broke down,” Dave said. 

I walked out of the bedroom and walked towards Michael.

“Baby, what happened?” he asked as he cupped my face in his hands. I looked up at him and my heart bled.

“I’m better. I just miss my mother so much, especially now that we’re getting married.” I inhaled deeply as that lie flowed out of my mouth without a hitch. 

“I’m sorry. I know it’s been hard, but you’ll get through it, we’ll help you. We’re all here for you, baby.” He grabbed me by my shoulders gently and placed my head against his chest. I couldn’t hear his heart beating through his coat and I needed to be close to him. I needed to hear it.

“Let’s go home,” I said softly.

“Thanks, Margaret. Dave, see you soon.” Michael grabbed my hand and we walked out and headed to his car. I slipped in and buckled up then leaned over and rested my head on his shoulder. I just wanted to blurt out that I was pregnant, but I wasn’t ready. 

“I never asked you. How do you feel about kids?” I asked keeping my head still on his shoulder swallowing hard.

“What about them?” he responded quickly. “I don’t know…I never really thought about it? I mean, I don’t have any kids out there if that’s what you’re thinking,” he said, glancing over at me.