I shook my head. “She says they’re looking into it, but they’re mostly concerned with keeping the gateway strong. She said some of the Nether’s strongest demons are helping guard it, as well as a Fury, Tisiphone. But she thinks it’s just a matter of time before they break through.”
“Where is it?”
I shrugged. “I haven’t been able to grab E for more than a second or two. I guess when she gets worried enough, she’ll tell me.”
“And you’re just going to…”
“Yeah. Kill anything that comes through.”
He sighed, leaned back and closed his eyes. “Like you don’t have enough going on.”
I shrugged--. “If they get through, anything else I’m doing will seem kind of pointless.”
He was silent for a few seconds. “Demons, right?”
“She said some exiled gods, too.”
“Christ.”
“Probably not that one.”
He snorted, shook his head. He was about to say something when the buzzer went off. “Probably your next appointment. Representative from the Grosse Pointe shifters, coming to pay respects, offer their loyalty. The usual. Word got around about what you did to Branford. Expect the ass-kissing to increase.”
I nodded. He got up and answered the door. I took a deep breath, tried to put my calm, polite mask back on. I’d played cool with Brennan. I was terrified of what would happen when the gate opened, and I was tired of dealing with the turf wars happening among the supernaturals. I felt like I was failing in every possible way. God, my ass.
I could feel when the shifter entered the loft. Powerful, as far as shifters went. Not as powerful as Brennan, but he was easily the most powerful one I’d ever met, and no one else was even close.
I looked up, slightly surprised to see a woman entering my office. Shifter packs, while generally pretty egalitarian, usually sent males to do things like this. I’d just gotten used to it. I studied her as she walked in. Tall, blond, and leggy. Gorgeous. And she was clearly torn between paying attention to me as Brennan introduced us, and staring at Brennan. I took a breath.
Brennan looked at me. “Angel, this is Anastasia Ryan, of the Grosse Pointe shifters. Miss Ryan, the Angel.” With that, he left and closed the door behind him. Anastasia walked over and shook my hand.
“It’s so nice to finally meet you. Thank you for seeing me,” she said, and it was clear that she actually respected me. A bit of awe, nervousness.
“Nice to meet you, too. Please, have a seat,” I said. She did, crossed her legs and sat there patiently. I felt like a toad sitting in the same room as her.
“I am here at the behest of my father, who is the leader of our pack,” she began. “He would have come himself, but my mother has been ill, and he thought it better to send me than to delay visiting you.”
“I am sorry to hear about your mother. Is there anything I can do to help?”
She stared at me. “Um. Actually…” she looked away, and I sensed nervousness in her.
“What is it?”
“She has not yet seen a doctor, because Normal doctors are useless with our physiology. There is a doctor who specializes in shifters, but he’s out of Toronto, but his schedule is insane. I think we’ll lose her before she even made it to her appointment with him.” She paused. “My father does not know I told you about this. I was not supposed to. I was supposed to come here to pledge our loyalty. Which I am!” she said, looking up at me. “You can call on us, any time, and we will be honored to assist you, no matter what. But I’m asking this as a daughter. Is there any way you can help my mother?” she finished.
Damn it. I’d wanted to dislike the shifter when I’d seen her look at Brennan that way (something I didn’t want to think about too deeply, actually.) But she was sincere, and honest.
“Do you have the doctor’s name and contact information?”
She nodded, pulled her phone out of her bag. She scrolled for a couple of seconds, then handed the phone over to me. “That’s him.”
I nodded, picked up my phone, dialed. A receptionist answered first, and I asked to speak to the doctor. Got the usual, “he’s not available right now” that I knew I would.
“I really do need to speak with him. Can you tell him the Angel, from Detroit, is on the line, please?”
“I really don’t–”
“Just tell him. I’ll hold.”
A sigh at the other end of the line. “One moment, please.”
I sat, holding the phone against my ear. Anastasia watched me, nervous, hopeful. “Don’t get your hopes up,” I said. “This might not help at all.”
“It’s better than we’ve done so far,” she said. “We couldn’t even get him on the phone.”
“Doctor Hylar,” a deep voice said on the line.
“Dr. Hylar, this is the Angel,” I said.
“Yes. How may I help you, Angel?”
I explained about Anastasia’s mother. There was silence at the other end.
“I know you are a busy man, doctor. I would see it as a personal favor to me, if you made the time to come here and see the woman.”
“It would be an honor to assist you in this. My schedule is fairly light on Friday. I’ll have my secretary re-schedule my appointments, and I’ll be there early in the morning.”
I thanked the doctor, handed the phone to Anastasia so she could hammer out the details with him. She hung up, beaming.
“I….thank you so much for that. I can’t believe he’s coming here!” she was smiling, and crying, and the emotions coming from her were overwhelming.
I shook my head. “I’m glad I could help. I hope he’s able to help with your mother.”
“Like I said…if you need ANYTHING from my pack, EVER, you have it,” she said.
I smiled. “Thank you. Please let me know how it all goes.”
She nodded. I got up, and so did she. We shook hands again, and I saw her out into the loft. Brennan was sitting at the kitchen counter, and I felt her desire spike a little when she saw him.
Shit.
Brennan stood up and walked her to the door. She chit-chatted with him. Part of me wanted to stay and be nosy. Part of me wanted no part of watching this gorgeous, charming woman work her magic on Brennan. Even if she was perfect for him.
That part won out. I grabbed a muffin, headed to my office, and closed the door behind me. I could still feel her in the loft.
She was taking her sweet-ass time about leaving.
I tried to shrug off the annoyance, the sense of ownership that I didn’t realize I’d had toward Brennan. Wasn’t this what I told him I wanted for him? A gorgeous shifter who adored him? There she was.
I kind of despised her.
And that was so messed up I didn’t even want to think about it.
After what felt like an eternity, I felt her leave. I shoved the rest of the muffin into my mouth and started flipping through that day’s newspaper. I could just read it online, but Stone preferred paper, so we always got it that way. It also gave me something to look at for when Brennan made his way back into my office. He sat in one of the chairs opposite me and I kept my eyes on the paper.
“She told me what you did for her mom. That was amazing, Molly,” he said.
“I didn’t do anything. I made a phone call. Besides, the Grosse Pointe shifters are one of the most powerful packs in the area. They’re good allies to have.”
I could feel his eyes on me. “She asked me if I wanted to go to this dinner thing they’re having tonight.”
I tried not to have any visible reaction. I was good at that, at least. I could feel rage bubbling under the surface, a weight pressing on my chest making it hard to breathe. What the ever-loving hell was wrong with me?
“That’s nice,” I finally managed, as noncommittally as I could.
“So, do you think I should go?” he asked. I sensed for him then. The usual. Warmth, longing. I wondered now, though, if that longing was for me, this time. Better for him, if it wasn’t.
“You don’t need to ask me for permission to go out, Brennan,” I said.
“I’m not asking permission. I’m asking if it’s all right with you,” he answered.
I shrugged. “Why wouldn’t it be?”
I felt some irritation from him.
“What? Do you want to go? Then go! What are you asking me for?”
I got up and walked out of the office. He followed me out and I could tell he was annoyed, too.
“I don’t really especially want to go, no. She said it would be a big deal to her pack if I showed up at this dinner thing they’re having for her brother. Why are you getting pissed off at me about it?”
“I’m not pissed off at you,” I said. “Do what you want.” I pulled my shoes on and headed for the door.
“Where are you going?”
“To do things. It’s what I do. I sit here all day and talk and talk and talk, and then I go do things. Are you new here?”
And with that, I slammed the door behind me and headed down to the parking garage. Dahael and Bash trailed me as I headed toward the Barracuda. I started it up and roared away, looking for something to hit.
As I drove, I gripped the steering wheel. Christ, that was childish and stupid. The worst thing about it was how surprised I was at my reaction. Where did all of that come from? Was I just so used to the idea of having Brennan there for me that I got freaked out when someone else recognized how amazing he was?
And she had totally recognized it. She was attracted to him physically, and, as a powerful shifter, he brought plenty of other attributes in addition to being nice to look at. As a shifter without a pack, she would be more than happy to give him a pack, a family. Which was something Brennan wanted. I knew this about him the way I knew all of the other things he didn’t say. It really was probably the best thing for him if he decided that she was better for him than I was.
Why did she have to look like a damn supermodel while I looked like some freaky-ass alien?
This was all so goddamned confusing.
I worked my way across the city, taking out a few troublemakers. I broke up a fight between two warring werewolf packs, eliminated a small shifter cell that had been causing trouble on the west side, grabbed a dumbass who was beating up his girlfriend and abandoned him at a local police precinct after ordering him to turn himself in, which he did. I got into a fight with a demon who’d been skulking around Wayne State’s campus, causing problems. I was probably, maybe, a little more aggressive than I needed to be.
I was still full of pent-up anger, confusion. Other feelings that, until now, had been completely foreign to me. Feelings I didn’t want to investigate too closely.
Without thinking really about where I was going, I headed to Belle Isle. I’d come here a lot as a teenager, as soon as I could drive. I’d walked the woods, sat on the beaches. There usually weren’t a ton of people around, and I could have a break from hearing everyone’s thoughts, feeling emotions. It was the one place I could truly be alone with my own thoughts. How pathetic was it that I still found myself coming back here, years later when I needed to figure myself out?
I pulled up alongside the beach and got out of the car. Bash and Dahael trailed me, keeping their distance. I wandered over to a bench and sat down.
It wasn’t an accident, of course. I’d sat on this same bench what felt like a lifetime ago, with Nain, and he’d told me what I was. Not just a demon, but a mindflayer, a parasite who fed on the powers of others. And I’d sat here with him, and he’d told me I could feed off of him to keep everyone else safe from me. He’d flirted with me, wanted me.
I’d never felt any of these screwed-up, crazy feelings with Nain. We were uncomplicated. Passion, anger, lust. He wanted me, took what he wanted, and I gave it because I needed him, too. He molded me, maneuvered me, made me become the destructive force he knew I would be.
I was so much younger then. At least, it felt like I was younger. Immature. Naive. I’d never wanted a man in my life, and Nain had forced his way in exactly when I needed one.
Exactly when I’d needed a demon, I guess.
I remembered. Kisses that felt like battles, lovemaking that was as much about power as pleasure. He coaxed my demonic traits out of me, with each touch, each kiss, each time we fought. He made me, and he broke me.
You’d think that after going through all that, whatever was going on with Brennan would be no big deal.
So why was it that in light of everything else going on in my crazy life, the fact that one pretty woman was paying attention to my best friend suddenly had me questioning everything I'd ever been, ever wanted?
I sighed, stood up and started walking down the beach, watching the water lick at the sand.
I didn’t even have the time or energy to think about this, whatever
this
was, right now. I had supernatural turf wars and other fuckery happening all over the city. A gateway between here and the Nether that could collapse at any moment. A teenage girl who wasn’t getting the attention she needed right now, because I barely had time to pee, let alone be anyone’s friend or mentor. I was still dealing with my guilt and anger over Nain’s death, and driving myself nuts trying to figure out what was a lie and what was real.
Did having these screwed up feelings or whatever they were for Brennan make me a really shitty wife to Nain? Shouldn’t I have to mourn longer before getting stupid about another man?
Maybe I really was the garbage I’d always believed I’d been. The kid nobody wanted, the teenager nobody cared about. The woman who creeped everyone out so much they avoided making eye contact, even before I’d really come into my powers. Maybe they’d all seen something I hadn’t. There was clearly something wrong with me. In so many ways.
I sat down on the sand for a while, and breathed.
And then a howl, and a scream, cut the night, and I was up and running toward it before I even knew what I was doing. Instinct.
I burst into a copse of trees to find two twisted, idiotic warlocks torturing a woman they’d caught, getting ready to use her for one of their bullshit sacrifice rituals. I ended them before they’d fully realized what was happening, manipulated the woman’s memory so she wouldn’t remember them or me, took her home.
This was what I did. If I knew nothing else, it was that at least I managed to do some good every now and then. I dropped the woman off, stood and watched her walk into her house. Dahael and Bash stood next to me on the sidewalk. After the woman had gone inside and closed the door behind her, Dahael pulled at my pant leg.