Broken Lion (30 page)

I wasn’t going to fight in front of Daniel. “It’s okay, Daniel. Everything is all right. We just had a little misunderstanding.” I hoped that’s all it was.

Daniel stared at me, wide eyed and speechless.

“Everything is okay, I promise.”

He still stared. I didn’t think anything like this had ever happened to Daniel before. His father didn’t have a temper. None of the Wright family did. They held everything in. I wasn’t sure how Daniel would process all this. I wasn’t sure how I would either. No one in my family had a temper like Lion’s. It was foreign to me.

Donald stood up and smoothed his slacks. “Now you know what kind of a man Lion Maxwell is. I hope he’s worth it.”

I couldn’t decide if Donald wanted me back or just didn’t want Lion to have me. Either way, it didn’t matter. Donald wasn’t getting me. He’d made his choice two years ago.

Now I had a choice to make about Lion Maxwell.

Chapter 33

BRIGID

Daniel and I sat on the couch watching the Minions movie on DVD. It had become a favorite of his after Universal Studios. I wondered if it made him think of Lion. It sure made me think of him. He was all I could think about while we watched the movie.

The last time Daniel and I had watched the movie together, he’d been laughing and talking with me the whole time. This time he was silent. I knew he needed to process the violence of what had happened before he talked about it. What all had he seen? What all had he heard? I didn’t know. But I knew that any amount was too much. He shouldn’t have had to witness any of it.

I shouldn’t have had to either.

Had I just met the real Lion Maxwell? Did he always punch walls when he lost control? Or did he punch people too? How often did he lose control? You never knew in the beginning. It wasn’t until you’d been with someone for a long time that all their unappealing qualities came out and you saw the real them.

One thing was for sure: I wasn’t going to excuse Lion’s behavior. Donald had been right. No one made Lion knock Donald down or knock me down—it didn’t matter that it was an accident—or punch a hole in my wall. Lion did or caused all of it. It was unacceptable and inexcusable. His jealousy over Donald’s kiss was simply too much. He should’ve asked what happened first instead of exploding.

I sighed with frustration.

I didn’t know if Lion planned to apologize or never talk to me again or what. But he needed to do something or we were through.

An hour into the movie, Daniel asked, “Why did Lion break the wall?”

“Because he was mad at your father.”

“Why?”

That was a tough one to answer. All he really needed were the pertinent facts. “Your dad doesn’t like Lion very much.”

“Why?”

“You know how sometimes when you’re at Heather’s house playing with Josh, and Josh’s friends from school are there too, and Josh likes to play with them more than he likes to play with you?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you remember how much that hurts your feelings?”

“Yeah,” he sighed.

“It’s sort of like that. Your dad is scared you want to play with Lion more than you want to play with him.”

“Oh. But I do like playing with Dad. Sometimes. Not all the time. But sometimes.”

“Think about how it makes you feel when Josh doesn’t want to play with you. That’s not fun, is it?”

“No.”

“How does it make you feel?”

“It makes me sad.”

“It makes your dad sad too. When you don’t want to play with him as much as you do with Lion, your dad gets sad.”

“Oh.” Daniel sat quietly for a while. “Does that mean I need to be nicer to Dad?”

I smiled and kissed him on top of the head. “I’m sure your dad would love that. Make sure you tell him that the next time you talk to him.”

“I will. So why was Lion mad at dad?”

“For the same reason your dad was. I think Lion is afraid your dad doesn’t want you to play with Lion anymore.”

“Does he?”

Truthfully, I really thought Donald would be happiest if Lion disappeared forever. But I wouldn’t say that to Daniel. “I don’t think so, sweetie. I think your dad is confused right now. The best thing you can do to help is tell your dad you love him and be as nice to him as you can.”

“Okay. Can I tell Lion the same thing?”

“Yes. Be nice to both of them.”

“I will,” he smiled. “Can I tell him I love him too?”

“Who, Lion?”

“Yeah.”

I suddenly flashed back to Lion’s words the first time we’d had sex:
There’s no going back after this.
Truer words were never spoken. I was suddenly scared to death. Was I in love with an abusive man and was only now discovering who he really was? That would be horrifying. Worse, what about my son’s feelings? Was he getting attached to a man who didn’t belong in our lives? The idea made me nauseous. I didn’t want things to be hard on Daniel. He didn’t deserve more turmoil than he’d already endured because of the divorce.

I looked at my son. His face was pure innocence.

“You can tell Lion the next time you see him.”
If you ever see him again
, I added mentally.

For the first time since it all started, I was questioning everything I’d felt for Lion Maxwell.

Daniel and I went back to watching the movie. It didn’t take long for him to start laughing like he usually did. I wasn’t laughing at all, but at least he was letting go of the drama. I wondered how Lion was doing. Was he letting go too? Or was he building up a head of steam? Was he getting ready to retaliate? Go to war against Donald? Do something dangerous and destructive? I shivered at the thought.

No, I didn’t think Lion was like that.

Well, I
hoped
he wasn’t like that.

Was I rationalizing? Was I in denial?

I honestly didn’t know. My feelings for Lion were getting in the way. That scared me more than anything. Would my love for him blind me to his darker side? A side that was too dark for me or my son?

I tried not to think about it. It was just too awful.

Toward the end of the movie, I considered calling Lion, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to talk to him yet or at all. I’m sure he needed to cool off either way. I had no idea how long that would take. But I did know he needed to be the one to call me if this was ever going to work.

When the movie finished, Daniel said, “What do we do now?”

“I’m not really sure.”

“I thought we were gonna do something with Lion.” His disappointment was obvious.

“I did too. But I think maybe he needs some time to calm down.”

“Oh.”

“We can do something, if you want.”

He shrugged.

That’s how I felt. With Lion suddenly out of the picture, I was at a loss for what to do.

My phone buzzed on the counter in the kitchen. I got up from the couch and picked it up.

Lion: Can we talk? I need to apologize big time. I never do shit like that. I feel like an ass. Call me if you want to talk.

I smiled at my phone.

“Daniel?”

“Yeah?”

“I’ll be out front talking on the phone for a few minutes. Will you be okay in here?”

“Yeah.”

“You can play in your room if you want. Why don’t you get your LEGOs out?” Once Daniel started building with his LEGOs, he was totally focused on what he was doing. I wasn’t sure how my conversation with Lion would go, so I wanted Daniel distracted, just in case.

“Okay.” He got up from the couch and went to his bedroom.

I walked outside, already dialing Lion and feeling hopeful.

“Hey, Brigid,” he answered with obvious relief.

“Hey.”

“So, I’m sorry. I mean, really
really
sorry. I totally lost my cool. I shouldn’t have acted like that.”

“But you did.”

“That’s not me, Brigid. I’m not that guy. You have to understand. I may be a beast in the cage, but I’m not a rageaholic. There’s a reason they call me The Calculator. I don’t just throw punches around without thinking.”

“Then why did you today?”

He heaved a sigh, but said nothing.

“Can you tell me what happened?”

He groaned. “I didn’t tell you this, but Don came by the dojo the other day, and we had a talk. Long story short, he doesn’t want me seeing you and Daniel anymore.”

“He said that?” I was shocked.

“Yes. Point blank. He even… Fuck. He even called you his wife.”

“His ex-wife,” I corrected.

“No, his wife. I think it was a, what do you call it, a Freudian slip?”

“Like he wants to get back together with me?”

“Exactly. That’s why I freaked when I saw him all over you. When you said you kissed him, I saw red. Actual red. That doesn’t even happen when I’m in the cage.”

“I didn’t kiss him. He tried to steal a kiss. I slapped him immediately.”

“Oh, wait.” He chuckled. “You slapped him?”

“You better believe I did. I made you a promise, Lion. And I keep my promises. I’m not going to date anyone while we wait for a year. That includes my ex-husband.”

“So, you don’t want to get back together with Don? Not even a little bit?” Lion sounded so innocent asking, so vulnerable.

I smiled at the phone, “Not even a molecular bit. I want to be with you, Lion. No one else.” Did I really mean that? I hoped I did. Otherwise, someone else was controlling my mouth and that freaked me out.

“My sentiments exactly.”

I felt a sense of relief wash over me. Relief about what, I wasn’t sure. It didn’t matter.

“Hey, I know I screwed up royally today, but is there any chance you and Daniel want to hang out?”

“As long as it’s mellow and relaxing, I’m game.”

“How about the beach? I can grab a sun umbrella from my house, and some towels and a cooler full of food and drinks. Bring a frisbee, a volleyball, a football, any kind of ball you want. Oh, and we can stay out of the ocean. Just in case there’s sharks.”

I laughed. “Okay. We’ll have a Jaws-free day at the beach. But bring your bathing suit. We can at least get our feet wet.”

“Sounds perfect. Oh, hey. Brigid?”

“Yeah?”

“I…”

“What?”

“I…”

Racing through my head,
I love you Lion I love you Lion I love—

“Never mind. I’ll call you when I have everything packed and ready to go.”

“Okay.”

Had he almost said he loved me?

I hoped so, because I was loving him more and more every day.

What was I getting myself into?

I hoped this wasn’t a huge mistake.

For everybody’s sake.

Me, Lion, and Daniel.

Chapter 34

LION

When we were at the beach that afternoon and Daniel was busy throwing my frisbee around with some other kids, I thought about telling Brigid that Donald had guessed I was her patient. She deserved to know so she didn’t get blindsided by him if he decided to tell somebody at the hospital. But if she knew, she might decide to cut her losses now and get rid of me before I made things worse. That’s why I couldn’t bring myself to tell her. It would’ve ruined the fun we were having in the sand and sun, and we all needed to relax after the shit-storm at her condo. I had no idea if Daniel had seen any of what happened, but he must’ve heard something. Unless he wasn’t at the house? I didn’t know and I wasn’t going to ask.

I felt like a douche.

“This is nice isn’t it?” Brigid sat on the towel under the sun umbrella. She wore her one piece again and looked sexy as hell.

“Yeah.” I didn’t deserve her. I didn’t even deserve to look at her because I was such a fuckup. “How are your wrists?”

“They’re fine. I can’t believe Donald tried to kiss me.”

Was she testing me? I chuckled, “I can.” I gave her a look. “I mean, look at you.” Meaning, she was gorgeous. But I didn’t feel comfortable telling her that right then.

She knew what I meant. She blushed and turned away to look at the waves crashing onto the sand. She was keeping distance between us.

I couldn’t blame her.

Why did I have to hit that stupid wall? Blowing up like a baby in front of Donald had made things that much worse.

I was an idiot.

I was also a liability to Brigid.

Maybe Donald wouldn’t do anything.

Maybe
.

Maybe he would forget what I’d done.

I chuckled to myself.
Not even.

Maybe he and I would make nice and we’d be pals forever.

Yeah, right.

I was screwed.

I wasn’t sure when I’d tell Brigid about what Donald knew. Eventually. Maybe tomorrow. Just not today. For all I knew, he was driving straight to the hospital to tell them everything and today was the last day I would ever spend with Brigid and Daniel.

I wanted to enjoy their company one last time.

I deserved that much.

Not really.

Chapter 35

BRIGID

Everything went well until the day of Lion’s surgery, which was today. No more drama from Donald, and no retaliation against him from Lion like I’d feared. I secretly wished all the drama was behind us and Lion really was the man I hoped.

Sadly, I couldn’t be there for him at the hospital because it might arouse suspicion. I didn’t want Dr. Hackett seeing me. He was the one person most likely to figure out what was going on between me and Lion.

That morning, I wanted to be at Lion’s house with him, but I had Daniel. So I told Lion to call me before he went into surgery.

At 7:30am, he did. I was still in my bedroom with the door closed when I picked up the phone to answer.

“Hey.”

“Irish.” His voice smiled.

“Are you going into surgery?”

“Not quite. But I’m at the hospital and they already got me in a gown and got the IV going. Oh, hey, I showered with the soap you gave me before I left the house, like you said.”

“Good. Did you eat or drink anything?”

“Not since midnight. I’m starving and dying of thirst, but I can deal. By the way, my phone battery is about to die. Forgot to charge it and my charger is at home. So if I suddenly cut out, you’ll know why.”

“Okay. Oh, did you write yes on your knee?” Putting some kind of word or marking on the knee that needed surgery was standard practice. It prevented the doctor from operating on the wrong one.