Broken Lion (34 page)

If I didn’t get fired, who was going to raise my baby? I’d barely had time for Daniel when he was born, and I’d had the help of the entire Wright family, especially Linda. But I barely had time for Daniel now. How was I going to make time for two kids, one of them a newborn infant?

Worse, would Donald use this as an excuse to take Daniel away from me?

These and a thousand other frightful questions raced through my head for the next week.

The most painful of all:

How was I going to tell Lion?

Chapter 39

LION

Rehab was kicking my ass.

It didn’t matter that I had access to the best sports rehab center in LA. And the best physical therapists in sports. My knee was a long way from what it once was.

After a few weeks of therapy, I could walk without crutches, but I was light years from getting back in the cage. My leg was weak and my balance was shot. The range of motion was nothing like it was going into surgery. I had to baby my leg with every step I took. My PT guy was all over me not to baby it because he wanted me to get back full extension. He was right. I sucked up the painful exercises and the sound assisted soft tissue mobilizer he used to rape the back of my knee after every session.

I was used to pain, but this was a different kind. This was the pain of wondering whether or not I’d ever return to the cage. I didn’t tell anybody about it because it freaked me the fuck out.

Some days I regretted getting the surgery. My knee hadn’t been this bad leading up to it. Before surgery, once the initial swelling had gone down, I’d managed fine. Sure, I wasn’t training for a fight, but I was active. I knew some people with ACL injuries didn’t go for reconstruction like I did. Even some athletes. They lived their whole lives without it. But I didn’t know any cage fighters who still competed with a torn ACL.

So every day I told myself I’d made the right decision.

I didn’t always believe it.

I had to stop watching fight videos, which was something I did all the time. Normally, I watched them with Dean. We would analyze my opponents and look for weaknesses or re-watch my old fights and look for areas where I could improve. But Dean’s brother suddenly died a week ago, so he had to fly back to St. Louis for a month to help his brother’s widow deal with the aftermath. Between that and my knee, I couldn’t bring myself to watch the videos.

It didn’t help that I hadn’t talked to Brigid in almost two weeks. I would call, but she never answered, so I left messages. She’d text back one word texts like
busy
or
working
. She was avoiding me. Something was wrong. I could feel it.

I knew it had something to do with the hospital.

Either Dr. Hackett or Donald had said something to somebody.

That meant any plans I’d had to stop them were now useless. If it hadn’t been for my damn operation, maybe I could’ve done something sooner. No, I knew that was bullshit. I couldn’t have bribed Dr. Hackett or Donald Wright without admitting guilt. I couldn’t kill them because I wasn’t a murderer. And I wasn’t going to kidnap them or even intimidate them into silence because they could still talk to the cops or the hospital, I’d end up in prison, and Brigid would still get screwed. I even considered begging them not to say anything, but that too would be admitting guilt. I wouldn’t take that risk for Brigid’s sake. Protecting a secret that was out was impossible. This situation had me boxed in from the start. I was used to fighting my opponents, trading hit for hit. But this wasn’t that. This was some bizarre game where hitting your opponent meant you lost. Sad to say, I had been completely out of my element from the beginning. That made me feel like an even bigger loser.

The final outcome was that Donald had won and Brigid was in serious trouble. She had probably decided I had fucked up her life and wanted to distance herself before I made it worse. At least she still had something to live for.

Without Brigid to give me something else to focus on, I was hating life.

I felt completely broken.

I hadn’t been this down on myself since I’d lost Cali and then Minka shortly after.

I tried to distract myself from worrying about Brigid by focusing on business issues, because there was always something to be done with the dojos. Despite all the people working for me, the business didn’t run itself. But all of it left me feeling empty.

It all came down to Brigid.

I needed her back in my life.

Without her, and without Daniel, nothing else mattered.

I didn’t even have Dean around to bust my balls and whip me into shape. I called him several times in St. Louis, but he didn’t always have access to a phone and he refused to carry a cell phone.

I was on my own.

On the days when my knee was at its worst and it seemed like I might never fight again, I thought to myself that I wouldn’t care as long as I could keep Brigid and Daniel in my life. When we were together, everything was perfect. Without them, all I had was fighting and the businesses. If I couldn’t fight, I wasn’t sure if I had anything.

Living a life alone wasn’t worth living.

I wouldn’t be the first athlete to off himself after a career ending injury. I knew things were bad when I started looking at handgun prices online.

Just when I thought I couldn’t sink any lower, I got a text from Brigid that just about killed me.

Irish Kiss: We need to talk.

My heart stopped when I read it.

Translation: I’m breaking up with you.

When she didn’t text anything else, I knew I was right. Best to get it over with.

Me: Tell me where and when.

An hour later, she replied.

Irish Kiss: How about your house?

She wasn’t suggesting her house because she wanted a quick escape if I started punching things. I couldn’t blame her.

We set up a time for the next morning.

I didn’t sleep all night. I had never been this nervous before any of my fights. This was ten times worse because I knew I was going to get slaughtered tomorrow no matter what I did to prepare.

Chapter 40

BRIGID

I stood outside Lion’s front door. My nerves were getting to me. I wasn’t sure I could go through with this. Right when I started to turn to leave, the door opened.

“Hey,” he mumbled. Dark circles shadowed his eyes.

“Are you all right? You look like you haven’t been sleeping well.”

“I haven’t.”

“That makes two of us.”

“I’m sure.” He sounded so cold, so distant.

I couldn’t decide if that would make things easier or more difficult. “Can I come in?”

“Yeah. I guess,” he grunted.

Okaaaay. He wasn’t doing a good job of making me feel welcome. Maybe I should leave and do this some other time. No. He needed to know. The longer I waited, the harder it would be. I trudged up the steps and he closed the door behind me. I followed as he walked slowly to the living room. His knee was stiff and appeared to bother him.

His living room was a mess. It had been a while since I’d been here, but he’d never left the place this dirty.

“What happened?”

“Huh? You mean the mess? I told the maid to stop coming.”

“Why?”

He shrugged. When he sat down on the couch he was extra careful with his knee, moving like an old man.

“Is everything all right with you, Lion? I’m a little worried.”

“You tell me.” His eyes were haunted.

I took a deep breath. “Someone at the hospital knows about us.”

“Figures.”

That wasn’t the reaction I was expecting. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, but total apathy was not it. Now I really wanted to leave. But I couldn’t run away from this no matter how far I went. “Read this.” I handed him the letter I’d brought with me.

“What’s this?”

“This is the letter that the head of human resources at LACH personally handed to me yesterday.”

He scanned it and started reading out loud. “This letter is a summons for Brigid R. Flanagan, MD, to appear before the Los Angeles Central Hospital Ethics Committee for an investigative hearing to gather information and review charges against her for ethical and sexual misconduct in her role as attending physician to her patient, Lion Michael Maxwell. The doctor is charged with sustaining an ongoing sexual relationship with her patient in violation of California Business and Professional Code, Article 10.5 Unprofessional Conduct section 726(a) and (b) and 729(a), the LACH Conduct Code, section 5-909(a) and (b), Doctor-Patient Conduct. This will be a closed hearing consisting of Dr. Flanagan and the LACH ethics committee, and representatives from the Medical Board of California only. The doctor is free to seek legal counsel in advance of the hearing. Approved counsel will be allowed to accompany the doctor during the hearing, per hospital guidelines. The outcome of the hearing will determine whether or not Dr. Flanagan’s actions shall be reviewed in full by the Medical Board, and what punitive actions will be taken. This may include suspension or revocation of Dr. Flanagan’s medical license. This investigative hearing will take place on Friday, August 31st at 10:00am in the LACH Administrative Building, 4th floor, Sequoia Meeting Room.”

He shrugged and handed me back the letter. “We knew it was gonna happen, right?”

“Don’t you care?”

“What do you want me to say, Brigid?”

“I don’t know! Anything!”

“You said yourself I didn’t force you into anything.”

“How can you be so callous about this?”

“I’m not the one forcing you out of this.”

“Out? Out of what? What are you talking about, Lion?”

“You came here to break up with me, didn’t you?”

I laughed. “Is that what you think this is about?”

“Pretty much.”

I dropped onto the couch next to him. “Lion, I didn’t come here to break up with you. The opposite. I came to show you this letter and—” I couldn’t bring myself to say it.

“And what?”

“Nothing.”

“So, you’re not breaking up with me?” He sounded like a frightened child.

“Not a chance.” I kissed his cheek. “I made a promise to you. I will keep it. So stop worrying. What we need to worry about is this letter.”

“Lemme see it again.” He took it and read it over. “Sounds like you need a lawyer.”

“I’ll say,” I chuckled morosely. “Do you know any good ones?”

“Not any who do medical stuff.”

“Me neither. But I can ask around.” I sighed. “Who do you think tattled on us?”

“Your ex. Or Dr. Hackett.”

“Him?”

“He was asking me some weird questions when I went in after my surgery to have my bandages changed.”

“Huh. Did you tell him something?”

“No. But he tried to drag it out of me.”

“That’s weird. And here I thought it was Donald.”

“Maybe it was both of them.”

I shook my head. “It doesn’t really matter at this point.”

“So what do we do about your investigative hearing?”

“There’s not much you can do. It’s all on me, really.”

“It doesn’t have to be.”

“What do you mean?”

“We could say I forced you.”

“What, like you raped me? No. I would never do that to you. This is my fault and I have to take the blame.”

“We could always deny it. I mean, what does your ex-husband know? Other than what Daniel told him?”

“Nothing. You and I were always so careful.” My stomach flopped at that thought. Mostly true, except for that one time.

“Exactly. Nobody knows anything and I’m not gonna admit to anything against the rules. You don’t have to either. We’re just friends, right?”

“Right. But how do we explain all our time together? It looks suspicious.”

“Easy. Like you said. We don’t have to explain it. They don’t know we were sleeping together.”

“They will.”

He looked surprised. “Why, are you gonna tell them?”

“No. But I’m pregnant.”

“What?” His voice was flat. “Hold up. What did you just say?”

“I’m pregnant.” I winced in anticipation of how he might react.

“Is it mine?”

I smacked his arm. “Of course it’s yours, asshole! What kind of woman do you think I am?”

His face started to oscillate through a hundred different emotions. “Are you sure? I mean, sure you’re pregnant?”

“I’m a doctor. I’m sure.”

His eyebrows climbed and the adorable boyish grin glowed with pure happiness, the first time I’d seen it today, and the first time I’d seen it in weeks. I didn’t realize how badly I’d missed it until right then. He gasped, “I’m gonna be a dad?”

“You’re already a dad. I mean, were, I mean, sorry. I didn’t mean…” I was thinking about his son Cali. I was going to cry. “Yes. I’m going to have your child, Lion. Our child.”

“Hell yes!” He jumped up off the couch and shouted with joy. When he landed, he grimaced and sat down suddenly. “Fuck, my knee.”

“Are you okay?” I reached out to check it.

His face twisted in pain. “I shouldn’t have done that. Hurts like a bitch. Rehab is going way slower than I expected.” He leaned forward, cradling his knee with both hands. “Fuck. Ow, ow, ow!”

“Oh, Lion. I’m so sorry. I should’ve warned you.”

After a minute of choking back silent pain, he started laughing. “We’re gonna have a kid! I can’t believe it! What are we gonna name him?”

“How do you know it’s a him?” I giggled.

“Her, I don’t care. As long as it’s got two arms and two legs and calls me Daddy, that’s all I care about.”

I started crying and threw my arms around him. “I love you Lion. I love you so much.”

He showered me with kisses. “I love you too, Brigid. I can’t believe we’re having a baby!” His happiness washed over me. But it wasn’t enough to silence my fears.

“We won’t be able to deny our sexual relationship. You realize that, right?”

“Oh, man…” His face struggled between elation and fear.

“People are going to ask who the father is. Word will get around. When our child is born, we’ll have to fill out the birth certificate. Then everyone will know. It’ll be official.”

“I told you, I hate these fucking ridiculous rules.”

“Me too.”