Broken Pieces (Riverdale #2) (22 page)

“Look at me.” He demanded and when she didn’t lift her head immediately he cupped her chin and lifted her head. “The least you can do is look me in the eye.” He said coldly. He couldn’t help his tone. She had him in knots. He ignored the tears that fell from her eyes. “Why are you doing this?”

“Because if I don’t, I will fall in love with you.” She answered honestly and drew in a shaky breath as she stared into his eyes. They softened at her words, and the broken pieces of her heart, shattered a bit more. “Please just trust me, that, no good would come from me falling in love with you.” She shook her head sadly. “No good at all.”

“I never expected you to be such a coward.” He said flatly and dropped his hand from her face. He ran his hand over his head and contemplated her words. He leaned against the wall and stared at her. She wiped at her cheeks with the backs of her hands.

“Nick, I didn’t plan this. I didn’t come here last night…”

“You didn’t come here last night expecting to stay the night.” He said and then sighed. “We got closer than you anticipated. You’re just freaked out, Sam. C’mon.” He said, hoping he could defuse her nerves. “It’s just you and me.” He pushed off the wall and took another step closer to her. He wanted to reach for her but decided to give her space. He didn’t want to push his luck. He just wanted her to listen to what he was saying.

“We’ve known each other forever, babe. We’ve danced around our feelings for years, you’re just scared. But I promise you, you have nothing to be scared of.” To hell with space, he decided, and took her hand in his. He watched her look down at their hands and then slowly she lifted her eyes to his. He whispered; “We can be good together. I know we can, but you need to be willing to go all in, because I won’t have you if I can’t have all of you.”

She wanted to believe him. The look in his eyes was telling her his words were sincere, but she had been the broken-hearted girl before. She reached up and touched his cheek.

“You’re right.” She said and watched the hope spring to life in his eyes. “I am a coward, Nick. When it comes to you, I am the biggest coward there is on the face of this earth. This thing between us is my Kryptonite. I want it more than anything, but it will destroy me.” She dropped her hand. “I can’t survive anymore loss, and losing you in the end will break me.” She swallowed hard.

“There’s no changing your mind.” He stated. There was no reason to pose it as a question when her eyes told him the answer. He cupped the back of his neck and looked around the small bathroom, because if he looked at her anymore, he wouldn’t be able to control the need to throw her over his shoulder and make love to her until her mind stopped working.

“I don’t want things to be weird between us. We gave it a shot, we’re still friends, right?” she asked hopefully.

“We gave it a shot?” He asked and tried not to laugh in her face. Yeah, they gave it a shot alright, while they were at it, they should write a how-to guide on relationships, because hey they gave it all they had, right? He thought sarcastically. “Yeah, Sam, we’re still friends.” He said appeasing her. The last thing he wanted was to be her friend.

“Nick…” She said softly, but didn’t know what else to say. He looked at her longingly. His chest rose and fell, with a strangled sigh. Before either of them could think of the right words to finish whatever they had shared he kissed her. It was a quick kiss, a gentle meeting of their lips. He pulled away and swallowed hard against the lump in his throat.

“You should go.” He said hoarsely. He needed her to go, before he never let her go.

She nodded sadly, feeling the loss already. She found her footing, and walked out of the bathroom to gather her clothes. Nick’s fist collided with the counter top and he leaned his forehead against the glass of the mirror. The one woman he wanted, he’d never have. He wanted to drown his sorrows in the bottle of Jack that he tucked safely away after she decided to spend the night with him, he should’ve just let her go and had his pity party.

He mumbled a slew of curses. She was straightening her clothes that she hastily threw on when he opened the door. He leaned against the doorjamb and watched her. She had one sandal in her hand and was desperately searching for its mate.

He sighed and threw back the comforter that had fallen off the bed. He grabbed her sandal and let it dangle off his forefinger.

“Here you go.”

She looked up and avoided looking into his eyes. She took the shoe he offered. “Thank you.” She mumbled.

Nick held onto the shoe, forcing her to meet his gaze. “You claim you want to be friends, yet you can’t even look at me. Tell me, how’s that going to work?” He raised an eyebrow, questioning her.

She shook her head. “Don’t you get it? I’m trying hard not to mess things up between us Nick. I’m not strong enough to walk away from you, I’m barely holding on by a thread.”

“Seems like an awful lot of work to walk away.” He said and eased off his hold on her shoe.

“Please.” She begged and balanced herself on one leg as she slipped her sandal on.

“Please what? Let you go?” Nick asked.

“Yes.” She whispered, her voice squeaking with emotion.

The silence was deafening until Nick found his words. “Fine,” he whispered. She let out a breath and nodded slightly before starting for the bedroom door.

Suddenly he felt much as he did the day he left Riverdale all those years ago, helpless. He had to walk away from her then, and now he watched as she walked away from him. He followed her into the living room and didn’t say a word. She grabbed he
r purse.  Deep
inside, he hoped she would find the courage to stay, the courage he had never been able to find. He crossed his arms against his bare chest and watched as she stopped at the door. Her hand was on the doorknob, but stood still on the brass. He held his breath and waited for her to make a move.

Slowly she turned around. She felt as if there was a greater force pulling her back to him, a force she had never encountered before. She met his stare and wasn’t sure what to say. What was adequate enough for what she was feeling? She didn’t want to leave. She wanted to run into his arms and be the brave soul, she claimed to be. She wanted to risk it all and to hell with the consequences. Then she had a thought. What if she asked him about Seattle? What if she came straight out and asked him to stay? Would it matter? She bit her lip as she thought about whether or not she should really go that route.

“You don’t want to leave.” He said hoarsely, pulling her out of her train of thought.

“Did you want to leave when you left me?” She asked, her voice barely a whisper.

He wanted to say he didn’t leave her. That's what they were to each other back then was different compared to what had transpired between them now but that would be wrong. Because seven years ago, he felt the same pull he felt right now. It hadn’t diminished with time, if anything it grew stronger. He did leave her seven years ago, along with everything else he cared about.

“No.” He murmured. “I didn’t want to leave you.”

“But you did because you had to.”

“I came back because I wanted to.” And he hoped when she had time to process everything, she would too. “I’ll be here.” He promised.

She closed her eyes at his words. They were
empty promises, God, how she wished they weren’t.  She turned around and opened the door. Before she allowed herself to believe that he wouldn’t leave her again, she hurried out the door.

Nick stared at the door for a moment before he closed his eyes. How was it that he kept losing her? He shook his head and supposed he’d never know why.

Sam leaned her head against the door and cried. She was walking away to protect her heart from him, yet little did he know, he already owned it.

Chapter Fourteen

Two weeks later and Nick had successfully avoided Sam. He had been drowning in memories of her the whole time.  The way her hair had smelled and the softness of her curves.  He felt tortured by the memory her body and how it fit just right with his. 
When he closed his eyes at night he was haunted by her blue eyes and how they stared up at him as he made love to her. He pulled out a bar stool next to the one he found Luke occupying. They had decided to meet at Rudy’s for a few drinks.

Nick sat down and peered at his friend. Luke hadn’t even acknowledged that someone had sat beside him. He seemed to be too busy staring at the beer bottle he clutched in his hands. Nick cleared his throat and signaled for the bartender that was at the other end of the bar.

Luke glanced at him, a delayed reaction. “Hey.”

“Hey, yourself.” Nick responded. He may have been in a world of his own, consumed by the memories of Sam, but he wasn’t completely oblivious to his surroundings. Something had been off with Luke since his brother’s death. At first Nick didn’t pay much attention to it. For two reasons, the first being everyone grieved differently, and Nick expected Luke was grieving his brother. The second was that, well he had been too wrapped up in Sam to pay much attention to anything else lately. However, now, it was painfully obvious there was something else eating away at his best friend.

Luke tipped back his beer and took a hearty sip. The bartender made her way towards them and smile brightly at them.

“Well, isn’t this a blast from the past!” She exclaimed happily looking back and forth between Nick and Luke.

Nick raised an eyebrow and looked over at Luke, wondering if he knew who she was because he hadn’t the foggiest.

“It’s Nick Foti and Luke Lanza, right?!” She asked as she leaned over the bar. She stared at them as if her eyes were playing tricks on her.

Nick waited for Luke to say something. He usually had the memory of an elephant and if he couldn’t place the female in front of them, then there wasn’t a shot in hell Nick would ever remember the perky brunette’s name.

“Yes, it’s definitely us.” Luke said flatly as he took another swig of the beer.

“You two look exactly the same as you did in high school!” She said cheerfully and then let eyes linger on Nick for a moment.

Shit, he thought. How the hell was he supposed to remember her from high school? He offered her a smile, hoping to Christ, it charmed the shit out of her. “So do you.” He risked and then nodded towards the shelves of liquor behind her. “Do you mind grabbing me a drink, beautiful?”

Luke turned and faced Nick for the first time since their little friend had made her way over to them. Nick avoided eye contact with Luke. He could feel the laughter in his stare.

“Sure thing, Nick. What’s your pleasure?” She purred as she batted her false eyelashes.

“Jack on the rocks. Make it a double sweetie.” He threw in a wink for good measure and watched as she sashayed her hips, and walked off to make his drink.

“She looks the same?” Luke asked, amused.

Nick turned and faced him. “Who the hell is that?” He asked as he scratched the top of his head. For all the tea in china he couldn’t place her. “Please tell me I didn’t have a thing with her.” His eyes widened as he feared the possibility.

Luke laughed for the first time in what felt like ages. He needed a good dose of Nick, to get his mind off of his troubles. It was like nothing had changed, and they were still the wild and reckless kids who thought they ran this town. “That my friend is Helena Reynolds.”

Luke waited for Nick to figure it out. Nick stared at him as if he had grown a second head. “Should that name mean something to me? Like ring a bell or something?”

“Man, she propositioned you to punch her V- card at her sweet sixteen. You don’t remember Helena Reynolds?”

“Here you go Nick.” She slid the glass towards him and smiled. “Wow, I can’t believe how great you look. I heard you spent the last few years in Seattle.” She bit her lip and let her eyes travel down his body. “The air must be good there.”

Nick took the drink and tipped the glass towards her in a silent toast. Staring at the liquid in the glass he wondered if he had gone through with it, figuring yes, he threw back his head and guzzled the alcohol. He was going to need it.

Helena turned and smiled at Luke. “How’s your daughter she must be so big by now.” She kept one eye on Luke and stared at Nick out of the corner of the other.

Nick would’ve sworn she had a lazy eye or something. He topped off his drink from the bottle she left on the bar and grabbed the rest of Luke’s beer guzzling that as well. It was going to be a long night.

“She’s great. She’s with my sister tonight.” Luke said as he eyed Nick.

“Helena, can we get some refills. Maybe you should just bring the bottle here so I don’t have to bother you.”

“Oh, you’re no bother babe.” She winked.

Lucky for Nick, there was a guy at the other end of the bar beckoning for Helena. She placed the bottle in front of Nick and promised to return. Thank heavens, he thought sarcastically and turned around to Luke.

“Did I do it? Tell me, I didn’t do it.” Nick begged for his friend to ease his fears.

Luke laughed and decided it might be fun to let Nick stir for a bit. “Ask Sam.”

“What?” Nick’s eyes almost bulged out of their sockets. “What does Sam have to do with Helena’s v-card?”