Broken (The Broken Series Book 1) (23 page)

It would be a pain in the ass to wait all day at the airport, but the alternative was to hang around here, and I couldn’t do that. I was a coward.

There was no sign of Maria yet. I wanted to ask her to book me a car to the airport, but I’d forgotten she didn’t start work until seven this morning. I didn’t know the number of any local taxi firms, so I decided to do an internet search.

I found a contact number for a cab firm quickly enough, and thankfully the person I called understood my broken French. I booked the cab for seven-thirty.
 

I headed into the kitchen to make myself some coffee, when I spotted a pad of paper Maria used for her grocery lists. I was sure she wouldn’t mind me using a few sheets, so I quickly scribbled two notes— one for Lauren and one for Jack.

I didn’t tell them the truth about why I’m leaving because I’m a coward.

Just as I’d finished scrawling my name on the bottom of Jack’s note, I heard footsteps behind me.

I bit down on my lip, horrified at being caught.

It was Alexander. He was obviously starting work early today.

He entered the kitchen but paused when he saw me, then smiled.
 

“Good Morning, Kristina. You’re up early today.”

I didn’t know what to say. I had no idea how to explain to him my reasons for leaving.

“I have to go back home.” I blurted the words out as quickly as possible and then searched Alexander’s face for his reaction. As always, Alexander wasn’t easy to read.

He had just lifted his coffee cup, but he paused and put it down on the counter. “You’re leaving? When?”

 
I nodded. “Yes, today. I’m really sorry to leave you in the lurch, but it’s Kate and the baby I…”

Alexander looked concerned. “Is there something wrong with the baby?”

I shook my head. “No, nothing like that. Kate and the baby are fine, but I just want to be there, you know? I should never have come so far away when Kate was pregnant. I’m the only family she has…”

I felt bad about using my sister as an excuse and the shame flooded my cheeks.

“I see.” Alexander turned his attention back to the coffee pot and poured himself another cup, before raising the pot and offering it to me. I shook my head.

“Perhaps you’ll come back after your sister has the baby?”

I hesitated. “Perhaps.”

“Do you need me to organize your flight?”

I shook my head. “No, thank you. It’s already booked.”

Alexander blinked then inclined his head slowly. “I hope you have a pleasant journey. Thank you for all the time you invested, looking after my brother. I know it can’t have been easy.”

I couldn’t speak. I felt like such a traitor.

“Well, I’d better get back to work,” he said, and as I watched him turn away, I realized that this was it. There was no going back now.

“Kristina,” Alexander said after he reached the corner of the room. “If there was anything else wrong, or if you had a problem with Jack, you would tell me, wouldn’t you?”

I wanted to tell him then. I wanted to scream at him and demand to know why he hadn’t told me about Jack’s suicide attempt. At least then I could have been on the lookout for any risky behavior. I’d had no idea I had been dealing with someone who was that mentally fragile.

But I didn’t. I said none of the things I wanted to because I knew that Alexander cared deeply for his brother and only wanted what was best for Jack.

I shook my head. “I’ve got on really well with Jack. It’s just that I’d like to go home and spend some time with my sister now.”

“Okay,” Alexander said. “You’ll be missed. I know Jack really liked having you around.”
 

He picked up his coffee cup and left the room.

The car I had booked arrived at seven-thirty on the dot. I was so relieved I was going to get away before Lauren or Jack confronted me. I’d left the notes in the kitchen, knowing that Maria would pass them on. I couldn’t face saying goodbye to them in person. I was such a coward.

As the driver loaded my luggage into the trunk, I couldn’t help remembering how I’d felt the day I’d arrived here. I had been terrified. Now as I looked back at the marble pillars and the grand entrance, I felt sad to be leaving. I was glad Jack’s rooms were at the back of the house. I didn’t want him to hear the car and realize I was leaving.

The weather was a complete contrast to the first day I had arrived. The sun was unbelievably bright and dazzling, mocking me with its cheerfulness.

The driver opened the door for me, and I climbed in to the back seat, craning my head to take one more look at the house.

“Please hurry,” I said to the driver.

If I didn’t get away from here soon, I was in serious danger of crying my eyes out.

I arrived at the airport at just after eight, which was ridiculous. My flight didn’t take off for more than 12 hours.

I couldn’t even check in yet, so I was forced to keep my case with me as I strolled around the small airport entrance. There were a few shops scattered around, but presumably most of the shops and restaurants were located airside. And I couldn’t get to those until after I had checked in.

I spied a small bookstore, and decided that was just what I needed: a couple of books to keep my mind of Jack Harding for the next twelve hours. I kept my fingers crossed that they stocked English-language books.

The airport was busy and like me everyone seemed to have their luggage with them, which made navigating the store’s narrow aisles particularly difficult.

I was heading for the English-language section when the cover of a magazine caught my eye. I reached down with my heart in my mouth.

In a cruel twist of fate, I saw Jack’s face staring back at me from the cover of a gossip magazine. He was holding a huge silver trophy above his head. It must have been taken after one of the many races he’d won last year on his way to winning another world championship. His face shone with happiness.

I wished I’d known that side of Jack. I didn’t know why I was torturing myself, but I took the magazine to the counter with me, along with two romance novels.

It hurt now, but I didn’t want to just forget him. My mother once told me that people came into your life for a reason. Good or bad they made you who you were. I realized now how right she was. For the first time, I understood what she meant. Many different people had touched my life in some way, and everyone had left a mark, but Jack…

Jack had left an indelible brand on my heart, and although it hurt like hell right now, I wouldn’t be without it for the world.

Sometimes love meant letting go, even though I wanted to hold on to him with every last drop of strength in my body.

He’d helped me. While I may not be completely fixed, and I’d never be the same person as I was before the drugs took hold, I was on my way to recovery, and a large part of that was due to Jack.
 

I would never regret the time I’d spent with him. I was only sorry I couldn’t have helped him as much as he’d helped me.

I holed myself up in a little seating area near the check-in desks, shifting continually on the hard plastic seat and trying to get comfortable.

I took my jacket out of my suitcase, so I would be ready for the cooler Rhode Island weather. I tried to concentrate on one of the romance novels I’d picked up, but my mind kept wandering.

The minutes seemed to crawl by.
 

After an hour on the hard seat, my ass was numb so I got up to stretch and walk around.

I strolled around the airport, circling the few shops, growing more and more melancholy. I bought a sandwich for lunch but I barely touched it. I had no appetite.

Finally it was time for me to check-in. The light was fading outside, and I got up from my seat and try to stretch out some of the kinks in my neck.
 

My hands were shaking as I took out my e-ticket reference and headed towards the check-in counter. I watched as one of the women standing in line in front of me heaved her case onto the scales and then handed over her passport and ticket to the man behind the counter.

Within seconds, her case had disappeared and the man handed her a boarding card.

It was almost my turn.

I looked up at the clock. I had less than two hours before my flight took off. Soon I would be through security and into departures. There would be no going back.

If it didn’t hurt so much, I would laugh at myself. I really was pathetic.

I’m waiting for something to happen. I’m desperate for this to be a scene in a movie. I want Jack to whirl into the airport and tell me not to go. I never thought I was the mushy, romantic type. I might enjoy romance novels, but I was a realist. He wasn’t going to come, and I would never see him again.

I tried to pull myself together. But it was so hard.
 

I knew he was not going to turn up, so why was I putting myself through this?

Another couple had checked in and the queue moved forward.
 

I stared up at the clock. Another minute had passed. I bit my lip. Why couldn’t I just accept it? He never promised me anything.

This was for the best. A clean break was exactly what I needed.

Another woman collected her boarding card, and I leaned down to pick up my case. I was next.

I had just taken a step forward when I heard a voice behind me … a voice I recognized.

But it wasn’t the voice I’d been longing to hear.

I turned. It was Lauren, standing behind me with her hands on her hips.

She looked majorly pissed.

I braced myself, ready for her to tear strips off me.

“I’m about to check in,” I said. “I’m sorry. Don’t be mad, Lauren. It just all got too much.”

She shook her head, ignoring my words. “You need to come back with me.”

“I can’t.” I took a step closer to the counter.

“Hey, are you in line, or what?” an angry woman said behind me.

I waved her in front of me. “Sorry. You go first.”

I stepped out of the queue. “I’m sorry, Lauren. I shouldn’t have left without saying goodbye. That was a crappy thing to do. But I can’t cope with this job… I need to go home.”

“You
have
to come back now…”

I shook my head. She was crazy. I couldn’t go back. Not when it had been so hard for me to leave in the first place.

Lauren clutched my arm. “You don’t understand. It’s Jack. He’s gone missing.”

My mouth was so dry, I couldn’t even swallow let alone speak at first.

“Jack? What’s happened to him?”

Lauren looped her arm through mine and grabbed my hand luggage. “I’ll tell you on the way, come on.”

I picked up my luggage and followed her. The corner of the suitcase, bumped painfully against my shins as I dodged the crowds of people around the exit and tried to keep up with Lauren.

She led me to the waiting chauffeur-driven Mercedes, and we scrambled inside.
 

As the car sped away from the airport, I turned to Lauren. My heart was pounding, and all I could think about was what Joanna had said to me last night. But surely Jack wouldn’t…

“Tell me,” I demanded.
 

“He was in a foul mood this morning when Maria gave him your note. Then later, I overheard an argument between Jack and Alexander. When Jack found out you had told Alexander you were leaving and Alexander hadn’t told him… I’ve never seen anyone so mad. He went ballistic. After that he went for a walk.”

Lauren paused to take a breath. “No one has seen him since.”

I let Lauren’s words sink in and I felt sick. If something had happened to Jack, I would never forgive myself. Never.
 

“Alexander is beside himself… He told me that Jack once tried to…”

“Kill himself,” I said the words Lauren was struggling over.
 

“You knew?” Lauren turned around in the back seat to look at me. “Why didn’t you say something?”

I shook my head. Everything was spiraling out of control. “I only found out last night,” I said, quietly. “Joanna told me. I freaked out. You know what I’m like, Lauren. I can’t even fix myself, so how the hell could I help him. I was so scared I would mess everything up, and if anything happened to Jack…”

I can’t finish the rest of the sentence. My throat tightened and I thought I was going to be sick. I pressed the button on the door to lower the window, and I sucked in huge lungfuls of the salty sea air.

Lauren looked as shell-shocked as I felt. “Maybe he just needed some space… He’s probably fine.”

I stared out of the window as the car sped along the cliff road.
 

Please let him be okay. Please.

“This is my fault,” I said. “I should never have left like this. I was thinking of myself. I’m just not strong enough for this.”

A single tear trickled down my cheek.