Broken World (15 page)

“She must not have been dead then,”
Joshua says.

“I shot her in the heart and she kept on
comin’. Had to shoot her in the head to get her to stop.”

No one talks, and I have no idea what
they’re thinking because my head is still on the table. My eyes still closed. I
don’t want to deal with this.

17

“WE
NEED TO GO DOWN THERE and check it out,” Angus says.

Slowly, I lift my head. Angus walks
across the room and pulls a gun out of his bag. He checks to make sure it’s
loaded. I blink and try to wrap my brain around what he’s doing, but it’s like
I’m trapped in some kind of fog.

“Are you nuts?” I somehow manage to get
out.

“Need to know what we’re dealin’ with,”
he says, shoving the gun in the waistband of his pants and pulling out a few
knives.

“That maid attacked me! What more do you
need to know?” My heart races and the sudden urge to scream is so overwhelming
that I have to ball my hands into fists. There’s no way this is happening. I
take a deep breath and try to get my pulse to slow, to stop the pounding in my
ears, but it doesn’t work. The urge to or throw something or rip out my hair
gets stronger. Maybe I’m hysterical.

“Angus is right,” Axl says, copying his
brother’s movements. “You can stay here.”

I jump to my feet and shake my head. “I
don’t want to be alone.”

Emily starts to whimper and I jerk. I
forgot she was here. What’s wrong with me?

I kneel down next to her and rub her
head gently. My hand shakes. “Shhh, it’s okay. We’re just going to go
downstairs and check on something. I’ll carry you, okay?”

“You takin’ her down?” Angus asks
doubtfully.

I stare at Emily for a few seconds,
trying to focus through the fog. Should I take her? Leaving her alone in the
room seems irresponsible. It’s eighteen floors up and she’d be terrified. Plus,
what would she do if we never came back?

“We can’t leave her alone,” I whisper.
“She’s four.”

I lift her up and scan the room. Where’s
my purse? I spot it on an end table. When I pull my gun out, Emily’s eyes get
even bigger. They are so brown.

“Give me a gun,” Joshua says.

Angus purses his lips and his eyes
narrow. “You know how to use one, Doc?”

Joshua keeps his hand out. “Point and
pull the trigger, right? How hard can it be?”

Angus snorts, but hands it to him
anyway. “Just make sure you’re close so you don’t miss.”

No one says a word when we head to the
elevator. Hell, I’m not even sure anyone is breathing. The tension is so thick
that my skin tingles, and I cling tightly to Emily as if she’s some kind of
lifeline. Hopefully, everyone thinks I’m trying to comfort her, and not the
other way around. I don’t want them to know what a selfish bitch I’m being.

Axl’s eye catches mine and he frowns. He
shakes his head. He can read me like a book. I look away. I need to get it
together.

The doors open on the first floor and my
arms tighten around Emily. I hang back while Angus and Axl step out with their
guns raised. Even Joshua goes before me. It’s for Emily, she’s the reason I’m
being this way. I’m just trying to protect her.

Even I don’t believe it.

“Clear,” Axl says.

I follow the men to the door. The lobby
reeks of death, and the stench is even stronger than before. I breathe out of
my mouth as much as I can, but it doesn’t help. The air is so thick I can taste
it. It leaves a film in my mouth that turns my stomach.

We don’t even need to step outside. A
bald man shambles past the door and I have to bite down on my lip to keep from
screaming. There are more dead in the distance. Dozens of them.

A shiver runs up my spin. I pull Emily
closer.

“Shit,” Axl says. “Where’d they all come
from?”

“They weren’t here before?” Joshua asks.

“We saw one guy, walkin’ on the other
side of the road. But that was it.” Axl takes a step closer to the window and
my heart pounds.

They’re everywhere. Stumbling up and
down the street, walking aimlessly. Some are even standing in the middle of the
road. A woman with stringy, blonde hair walks across the parking lot toward the
Nissan. She doesn’t stop until she’s inches from it, then she freezes. I hold
my breath and wait for her to move, but she just stands there. A few other
bodies head our way. Their heads are down, so they can’t see us, but I still
have the urge to run. The glass is too thin.

My stomach tightens and Emily squirms.
She tries to turn so she can see out the window and I put her down. Her small
hand slips into mine and we watch the walking corpses in silence.

“Look at it out there,” Joshua says. “It’s
like
Night of the Living Dead
.”

My heart races and I shake my head. I
push Emily behind me and she clings to my leg, her fingers digging painfully
into my thigh.

“Shut up,” I whisper.

But he’s right. That’s exactly what it’s
like. Dozens of dead bodies, walking around. Mindlessly roaming the streets.
Their heads down, their bodies slack. Just like a horror movie.

Emily’s parents. All the air leaves my
lungs. I
did
see her mom’s hand twitch. I convinced myself I was seeing
things. That it was just the shadows playing tricks on me. Now I know better. I
grab Emily and swing her up into my arms, holding her tightly to my chest. She
lays her head on my shoulder and her little body shakes. Or maybe that’s me.

What would have happened to her if we
hadn’t gotten there when we did? Would her parents have come back? Would they
have attacked her?

“This happen in Baltimore?” Axl asks
Joshua.

He shakes his head. “No, nothing like
this. Nothing like this anywhere on the East Coast.” He pauses and runs his
hand through his hair, looking at the ground. “We burned all the bodies,” he
mumbles.

“What?” Angus asks.

Joshua looks up. “In the beginning, they
cremated all the bodies to stop this thing from spreading. There were a few
bodies they took to the CDC, but the brains would have been destroyed during
the autopsy, so they wouldn’t have known about this…” He looks out at the dead
walking through the parking lot. “Every other body was burned.”

“Shit,” Axl says.

“How can this be possible?” I ask.

Joshua shakes his head again. “I’m not a
neurologist, so I’m no expert. But as far as I know, it can’t. I mean,
medically speaking there’s just no way to even hypothesize how a dead body
would reanimate and walk around the place! I’ve always laughed at zombie
movies.”

He’s right. This can’t be real. I have
to be dreaming because in real life the dead stay dead and I’m not a selfish
bitch who only worries about herself.

“I can’t be here.” I take a step back.
It’s too overwhelming. “I’m going back to the room.”

Axl’s eyes meet mine and his expression
hardens. “Never took you for a coward.”

I glare at him, then turn on my heel and
practically run to the elevator. Who cares what he thinks? Not me. All I care
about is getting away from the bodies walking around on the street.

Back in the room, I set Emily at the
table with some Crayons and a coloring book. I didn’t get them when we were at
Walmart, which means either Angus or Axl did. It pisses me off that one of the
brothers thought of it and I didn’t. It should have occurred to me to get Emily
something to keep her occupied.

There’s nothing else for me to do, so I
start drinking the wine I got out earlier. I walk back and forth between the
table and the window, looking out into the street before going back to take
another drink. I don’t really want to see the bodies walking around out there,
but for some reason I can’t stay away. It’s like there’s some kind of tractor
beam pulling me toward the window.

When the men come back they’re talking
about going outside to check things out.

“Are you insane?” I say. “You can’t go
out there!”

“Why the hell not?” Angus says. “We got
guns. We need to find out what’s goin’ on.”

“Don’t be a moron,” I say, taking
another drink.

Axl frowns and rips the bottle out of my
hand before turning to Emily. “How you doin’ sweetheart?” he asks. His voice is
so soft and gentle that it takes me a second to realize he’s the one who said
it.

Emily smiles up at him. “I’m coloring a
picture for mommy.”

My heart aches, but I’m not sure if it’s
for Emily or me. She’s lost more than I have, but she’s young enough that she
won’t even miss it. I’ll remember it all. Tears fill my eyes until Emily’s face
becomes blurry and distorted. Sick-looking, like those things walking around
outside. I have to look away. My legs wobble. My body is heavy with exhaustion
and my chest is tight. It’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before. I’m so
overwhelmed by everything that I don’t know what to do with myself. Or Emily.

Axl sits down and starts talking to
Emily, but I walk away. I can’t breathe out here. That window is too big and
there are too many bodies. The bedroom is just as bad, though. The tightness in
my chest gets worse and it feels like the walls are moving, making the room
bigger. Big enough to allow anything in. I pace the floor for a few minutes,
but my legs start to shake until I can’t stand. I can’t stay in here. I’m too
exposed.

I go into the bathroom and shut the
door, then lock it. My heart pounds so hard it pulses through my body, and my
legs almost give out. I sink to the floor and pull my knees up to my chest,
hugging them as hard as I can while everything from the past few days falls
down around me. All the death and desolation, the despair of thinking I was
next. The realization that the hope for a real life I’ve been clinging to all these
years was worthless. Life is over. For all of us. The sobs shake my body before
the tears manage to break free. My throat is so tight that when they finally
come out it hurts. Like my esophagus is being ripped to shreds. Tears stream
down my face and I can’t catch my breath. What’s my problem? I never cry! And I
am
not
a weak person. But this is all too much to take in and I can’t
cope.

My body shakes as the tears pour down my
face, and I wait for Axl to pound on the door. To tell me to pull myself together
or yell at me to take care of my kid, but no one does. So I stay where I am.
Sitting in the darkness, pretending the world around me hasn’t crumbled into a
million pieces.

* * *

When I finally come out of the bathroom,
the sun is just touching the horizon. The room is quiet. Deathly quiet. My
heart pounds and a sudden panic squeezes my insides. What if everyone died?
What if I’m alone now? Nothing but me and millions of bodies walking the Earth?

I walk faster. When I reach the living
room, I almost collapse with relief. Angus is passed out on the couch and Emily
is curled up with him, her head resting on his chest. Joshua is sitting in a
chair reading a book. Axl stands at the window, staring out across the city.

Axl turns around. The judgment in his
eyes makes me squirm.

“You done freakin’ out?” His voice is
softer than I expected.

I walk over, so I can look out the
window. There are more of them now. “I’m not sure,” I say. “You’re not mad at
me?” I feel stronger, like I managed to cry out most of the fear crushing my
insides. But seeing those creatures still makes me tremble.

He frowns, but shakes his head.
“Everybody deserves to freak out every now and then. Guess you weren’t really
prepared for a zombie apocalypse.”

A jolt shoots through me, and I have to
swallow before I can talk. “Was anyone?”

He laughs bitterly. It’s not like him.
Axl isn’t really a bitter guy. “Guess not.”

He’s not as gruff as usual, but there’s
something in his voice I can’t quite place. I study his expression. When his
gray eyes meet mine I get it. Disappointment. I guess he expected more out of
me. Truth is, I kind of expected more out of myself. With everything I’ve been
through, I thought I could handle anything.

I lay my face against the cool glass and
close my eyes. “What the hell are we going to do?” I ask. “Everything’s so
screwed up. So broken.”

Axl scoffs and I open my eyes. I take a
step back so I can see him better.

“Hell, the world’s always been broken.
You of all people should know that. It’s just a different kinda broken now. We
both adjusted to the old way, we’ll just have to adjust to the new way too.”

For some reason, his words help loosen
some of the panic knotted in my stomach. He’s right. Things have always been
crappy for me, but I learned to deal with it. To survive. I can do it again.

We go back to watching the dead in the
streets below. It’s oddly mesmerizing, watching them slowly lumber up and down
the street.

A sudden knock on the door makes me
jump. My heart hammers against my ribcage. Axl and I stare at each other for a
second without speaking, frozen in place.

“Maybe it’s Trey,” I whisper.

“Could be anybody. We left a note out on
the damn road,” Axl says, pulling out his gun.