Broken World (7 page)

8

WE
STOP IN TEXOLA for the night. It’s right before you cross from Oklahoma into
Texas, hence the clever name. We pass a few house—some boarded up, some not—and
a few doublewides that may have been recently inhabited. But the town mostly
consists of empty, crumbling buildings from the 1950s or earlier. There are no
lights on in the buildings we pass, no streetlights in the town, no cars, and
no people. It’s terrifying. For a moment I imagine this is what the future has
in store for us. Driving through abandoned city after abandoned city for the
rest of our lives.

If we’re immune.

The sun is low on the horizon and the
sky is a bright shade of orange. We set up camp outside what used to be a bar.
There’s a colorful sign on top—hand-painted decades ago—with an odd-looking
cowboy sitting on top of a horse. The words
Water Hole #2
are painted
next to him. It’s boarded up, just like most of the other buildings we passed.

“You guys can handle this?” Angus walks
up to us with a shotgun in each hand.

Trey steps away from the gun. “What are
you doing?”

“Huntin’,” Axl snaps as he takes the
shotgun his brother holds out to him. “You wanna eat, right?”

“We have canned goods,” Joshua says.

“Don’t waste that. Save it for later, in
case we have a night when we can’t shoot somethin’ to eat.” Angus spits on the
ground at Joshua’s feet.

Joshua and Trey look at each other, but
neither one looks convinced. I’m not surprised. I bet neither one of them has
ever missed a meal. They’ve probably never eaten something that didn’t come
from a grocery store or a restaurant. I have. Plenty of times.

“You’re going to kill an animal?”
Parvarti asks meekly.

Angus’s face is red. He’s on the verge
of losing it, so I step in. “They’re right. We have to be smart about this.
Take precautions.”

Joshua bites his lip and stares at me
for a second. Then he nods. “Yeah. That’s what we have to do.” He turns back to
Axl and Angus. “Go hunt, we’ll set up camp.”

Axl raises an eyebrow and looks Joshua
up and down. “Can you start a fire? Set up a tent?”

“I can,” I say.

Angus nods approvingly. “That’s right.
Trailer trash. Helluva life, but it makes ya tough.” He turns and starts
walking. “We’ll be back. Shouldn’t take long.”

Axl follows his brother, and for a
second, I don’t move. My insides boil. No one knew I was trailer trash except
the brothers, and if it had been up to me it would have stayed that way. I’ve
worked hard to distinguish myself from people like them.

Get over it
,
I tell myself.
You’re just as good as they are
.

Right. The doctor, the two students from
Cornell. I’m a stripper who was raised in a trailer park. I’m a walking cliché.

“Let’s get this fire going,” Joshua
says, breaking through my thoughts.

“Yeah.” I walk over and help arrange the
wood, breaking some of the sticks Parvarti collected into smaller ones for
kindling.

“You’re not trailer trash,” Joshua says.

I keep my eyes down, focusing on getting
the wood to light. “Yes I am. I’m just not redneck like they are.”

The fire catches and I stay where I am
for a moment to make sure it doesn’t go out. It doesn’t. Trey is struggling
with the tent. These three are going to be in trouble if this really is the end
of the civilization.

“Why don’t you get the camp chairs out
of the car?” I say to Trey. “I can do the tent. I helped with it last night.”
It’s a lie, but he doesn’t need to know.

He smiles gratefully, then jogs off to
the car. Parvarti follows him. She doesn’t say much. I’m not sure if it’s
because she’s shy or if it has to do with the fact that she just found out her
parents are dead. Only time will tell.

When the tent is up, both Trey and
Joshua wander off to call their families. Parvarti sits next to me and stares
into the fire silently. She wears Trey’s sweatshirt, and it makes her look even
more like a child.

“So you and Trey seem to have gotten close,”
I say. I want to make conversation, but I’m afraid to ask anything about her
life. She seems pretty shaken, and the last thing I want to do is remind her
that her parents are dead.

“He’s been great to have around. I was
worried about traveling with him. Going across the country with some guy I
didn’t know was scary, but I had no other options. If I didn’t have him…” A
tear slides down her cheek, and she stares at her hands.

I look out into the darkness, toward the
sound of Trey’s voice. “He seems to like you.”

To my surprise, she smiles. “My mother
would die—” Her hand goes to her mouth and she lets out a little sob.

My heart aches. I don’t know what it’s
like having a family you actually love, but it must be horrible to lose
something like that. I want to tell her to remember the good times, to be
thankful she got to experience it. Not all of us do. But something like that
wouldn’t make sense to her. Not now, maybe not ever.

“I’m sorry about your parents,” I
whisper.

She wipes the tears from her face. “Me
too. I just hope it wasn’t too bad.”

“Are you still going home? Maybe you
could go with Trey. His family seems to be healthy still.”

She looks up at me. Her eyes are huge in
this light. “What about you? Is your family sick?”

“I don’t have any family. Not really.”

Her eyes grow bigger. “How did you get
papers?”

I tense, and I look toward the fire. I
should tell her, I know about her parents. “I do have a father, in California.
Hell, maybe I have a mother too. Who knows? Either way, I’m not going to see them.
I just used them as an excuse. I’m going to see my daughter. I gave her up for
adoption four years ago and I just…I just couldn’t let the world end without
seeing her. That’s all.”

“Do her adoptive parents know you’re
coming?”

“I guess. I put a letter in the mail the
day before I left. I didn’t have a phone number for them, so I couldn’t call.
No email. So, as long as the postal service is still running they’ll know. If
not, then I guess I’ll be a surprise.”

Footsteps echo through the dark night. I
turn. Axl and Angus are back.

“Where’s everybody?” Angus asks,
flopping down in one of the camp chairs.

“Talking to their families,” I say.

Axl tosses something on the ground in
front of the fire. “Came ‘cross this mother on our way back. We got a few
squirrels too, but this guy’ll taste real good.”

It takes me a moment to figure out what
it is, and when I do even I turn up my nose. “An opossum?”

“Gross,” Parvarti says.

“Sorry, your highness,” Angus says.
“We’re fresh outta filet.”

“It’ll be fine.” I’m trying to reassure
myself as much as Parvarti. Opossums remind me of giant rats. Not exactly
appetizing.

She starts to calm down until Axl takes
out his knife to skin the animal. At the first sight of blood she’s on her
feet, heading off into the darkness. Probably in search of Trey.

I turn away, and my eyes land on Angus.
He’s fooling with his gun. It’s the first time he hasn’t had a soda can in his
hand since he picked me up. “You run out of dip, Angus?”

He glares across the fire. “What’s it to
you?”

Axl chuckles. “Don’t get him started.
He’s been bitchin’ ‘bout it all night.”

“Better to get yourself off the stuff
now,” I say. “Where are you going to get dip when the world ends?”

“There’ll be lots of it. No one’s gonna
raid the gas station lookin’ for dip. They’ve got more important things to look
for. Things we’ve already got.”

He has a good point, but I won’t give
him the satisfaction.

Joshua walks up and falls into the chair
next to me.

“How’s your family?”

“Not good.” He shakes his head. “My mom
and brother are sick. So far Dad doesn’t have any symptoms, though. Hopefully
he’s at least immune.”

“I’m sorry, Joshua.” I pat his arm.

He looks like a giant kid in that chair.
All slumped over with his gangly legs stretched out in front of him. If only
there was something I could say to make him feel better.

“Sorry, man,” Axl says, standing up.

He’s finished skinning the poor animals
and has the spit securely through their bodies. He sets it over the fire and
adds a few more pieces of wood, no doubt trying to get the flame a little
higher. His hands are covered in blood.

“You’re good at this,” I say, staring at
his hands.

He tries to wipe them off on an old
shirt, but it doesn’t exactly do the trick.

I grab a bottle of water and hold it out
to him. “Here, clean your hands off.”

“Don’t waste water on your hands!” Angus
shouts.

I roll my eyes. “It’s not a big deal.
We’ll just save the bottles and refill them next time we stop somewhere. In the
bathroom sink or something. Free.”

Angus crosses his arms. “You sure you’re
blonde?” I give him the finger, and he smiles. “Anytime, Sugar Tits.”

He makes my skin crawl, but at least
he’s started joking with me a little bit. It’s gross and awkward, but it’s
better than the evil glares he was giving me before. And it got me my gun back.
I guess he sees me as one of them, now that we have a few wealthy, educated
people in our group.

Trey and Parvarti walk up. She’s so tiny
next to him; she only comes up to his chest.

“Your folks okay?” Axl asks.

Trey nods. “So far.”

There are only two empty chairs.
Parvarti takes one of them, which leaves Trey standing. Axl kneels next to the
other one, and I don’t think Trey wants to rock the boat.

“Take a seat, man,” Axl says, tilting
his head toward the chair. “I’m cookin’.”

Trey sits down and studies us, chewing
on his bottom lip. “I’ve been thinking about this virus thing, and I think you
guys may be overreacting. I get it. Things may be rough for a bit, but you’re
acting like this is the breakup of our society.” He shakes his head. “I just
don’t think it’s going to be that bad. Even if only fifteen percent of the
population survives, that’s still got to be somewhere around forty million
people, give or take. That’s nowhere near the end of the world.”

He has a point, right? That’s a hell of
a lot of people. But… “Okay, say that’s true. Say forty million people survive
this thing. How many people in the government?”

He shrugs. “We have no way of knowing
that.”

“Exactly,” I say. “So even if half the
people in authority positions survive, which is being generous, how long before
they can figure out who is actually in charge?”

He bites into his lip harder. “Weeks,
maybe months.”

“And what happens in the meantime?”
Parvarti asks.

“Chaos.” Axl turns the spit. “Anarchy.
Lootin’ for supplies, killin’ for survival. Anything goes.”

I nod. “So by the time the government
gets its act together we’ve lost how many more people? Not to mention how
spread out everyone will be.”

“What will folks do about work and
money? Who’s gonna tell us all that?” Angus pipes in.

Trey swallows and sits back. He frowns
and stares into the fire. He probably doesn’t love being out-thought by a
couple rednecks and a piece of trailer trash.

“Okay,” he says. “But we still have
forty million people.”

“Sure. And a hell of a mess to clean up.
We just passed two bodies today out in the middle of nowhere. Imagine what the
cities are going to be like. Eighty-five percent of the population dropping
like that—” I snap my fingers. “It’s going to be a while before things get even
close to being normal again. Maybe never.”

“A new kind of normal,” Joshua says.
“Makes you wish you weren’t immune.” He slumps down and stares at the ground
like he wishes it would swallow him whole.

Something else I hadn’t thought about.
The people who won’t be able to deal.

9

I
WAKE UP SHIVERING, and just opening my eyes makes my temples pulse.

It’s still dark outside, and the
rhythmic breathing of the others fills the tent. My head pounds with every
breath they let out. I swallow and wince. My throat is tight and raw, and my
lips dry. I press a shaky hand to my forehead. My hands are cold and clammy,
but my face is on fire.

I’m sick. I’m going to die.

My body trembles and tears pool in my
eyes. I’m not going to make it to her.

I roll onto my side. Every tiny movement
hurts, deep in my bones. Even laying still is painful. I ache from head to toe.
Axl is next to me, sleeping soundly. Should I wake him?

I reach under the jacket I’m using as a
pillow in search of my phone. My head pounds like my brain pulsates. When I finally
find it, I press the button and the screen lights up. It’s almost six. The sun
should be coming up soon. I look back at Axl. Every inch of my body aches with
fever. I can’t wait.

“Axl,” I whisper. I reach out and gently
touch his hand.

His eyes fly open, and he half sits up.
When gaze meets mine in the darkness, he lays back down. His eyes flutter shut.
“What?” he mumbles.

“I’m sick.” I say it as quietly as
possible. I don’t want to bother anyone else.

His eyes open again. Slowly this time.
But he’s wide awake now. “What’s wrong?”

A small sob breaks out of my chest,
burning on the way up. I shake my head. “My head is pounding, my throat is
sore, my body aches all over.” I swallow and cough slightly. “I’m not immune.”

He frowns and even in the darkness his
eyes give him away. He’s thinking of himself, and Angus. But he doesn’t say it
out loud.

He sits up and grabs his shoes, pulling
them on. “Can you walk?”

I nod and climb out from under the
blanket, wincing. It’s like someone is digging their fingers into my temples
and the base of my skull. Every move makes the pressure mount. I get to my feet,
but legs quiver and the worlds spins. I have to sit back down.

Axl unzips the tent and steps out. He
turns back and holds his hand out to me. I crawl toward him on unstable limbs.
When I reach the opening, he bends down and picks me up, swinging me into his
arms like I weigh nothing. It hurts. Everything hurts. I lay my head on his
shoulder and close my eyes. He smells like the outdoors. Just like his flannel
shirt did last night when he let me wear it.

“Damn, you’re burnin’ up.”

He sets me in a chair next to the fire. The
air is chilly, like a cold front settled in while I was asleep. I shiver so
hard my teeth chatter. I open my eyes. Trey is by the fire.

He frowns and watches me closely with
his hands shoved in his pockets. “What’s going on?”

Axl takes his shirt off and lays it over
me. It’s the same flannel shirt he gave me before. “She’s sick.”

Now he wears nothing but a white
undershirt. It’s dirty. Someone should wash his clothes. Maybe I can do it
later. I close my eyes for a brief second, trying to clear my head. Nothing
makes sense.

I open my eyes and they meet Trey’s. He
doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t have to. He knows I’m dead.

“Where’s the Doc?”

“Sleepin’,” Axl says, heading over to
the Nissan.

“Don’t you think you should get him?”
Trey doesn’t take his eyes off me.

“He’ll be up soon. Got to get her
somethin’ for the fever.”

I’m still shivering, and every shake
hurts. My head, my bones, my throat. I close my eyes because Trey won’t stop
staring at me.

“Take these,” Axl says.

I open my eyes. He’s back in front of me
like he never walked away. He has a bottle of water in one hand and some pills
in the other.

“Open your mouth.”

I do what he says, and he puts a couple
pills on my tongue. His stormy eyes meet mine as he lifts the bottle to my lips
and gently pours a little in my mouth. I wince when the pills go down. They
feel like nails against my swollen throat.

“Do you need a blanket?” He’s being so gentle.
Not gruff like usual.

I nod. The movement makes my head pound
even more. I can’t believe how awful I feel; I felt fine when I laid down last
night. A little more tired than usual, but not sick.

Axl lays the blanket over me. I’m so
glad this camp chair reclines now. So thankful Axl and Angus robbed those
convenience stores.

I try to sleep, but it doesn’t work. I
drift in and out, but it’s more like delirium. Voices float around me, but
nothing they say makes sense. Hands touch my face. Some boiling hot, some icy
cold. Someone sings. It sounds like a little girl.

“Emily,” I whisper.

“Vivian, put this under your tongue.”

I don’t know who’s saying it or why, but
I obey.

“How bad is it?”

“Not good.”

I open my eyes. Everyone stands around,
staring at me. Either the sun is coming up or the fire is really bright,
because everything is orange. But dark at the same time.

I close my eyes and lay my head back
down. I can’t stop shaking.

* * *

The next time I wake up I’m in the car.
I don’t know how I got here, but the sun is up now, and it’s insanely bright.
Squinting, I put a trembling hand to my head. I’m drenched in sweat and my head
still throbs. Every inch of my body is moist with perspiration, but I can’t
stop shivering. Every movement hurts. Every bounce of the car, every twitch of
my muscles.

A hand touches my forehead, and I look
up. Axl is next to me. My head is in his lap.

“How you feel?” He still has the same
non-nonsense tone, but it’s so much gentler than before.

That first night we spent together by
the fire crosses my mind, and my insides constrict. We’re so much alike. I hope
he doesn’t get the virus from me.

Shaking my head, I try to talk, but it
comes out as a cough. I swallow—a difficult thing to do—and try again. “I’m
sorry.” The words scratch their way from my throat.

He frowns. “Why?”

“Because you may get sick from me.”
Talking hurts more than breathing.

He shakes his head. “Don’t be dumb. If
we were gonna get sick, it would’ve happened either way.” He pauses and frowns
again. “I’m sorry you won’t get to see your daughter.”

Tears fill my eyes. I try to keep them
in, but I can’t. They spill over, running down my cheeks. Leaving wet trails on
my face.

Axl wipes them away. It’s not a gentle
gesture. It’s brusque, just like he is. He leans forward just a bit, careful
not to smother me. “Doc.”

I turn my head, trying hard to ignore
the pain, just as Joshua looks back from the second row. Trey is next to him,
but I can’t look his way. The look he gave me earlier is burned into my memory.
It will probably be the last thing I see when I close my eyes to die.

“Vivian, how are you feeling?” Joshua
asks.

“Awful,” I croak.

“Specifically. Is your throat sore?” I
nod and he frowns. “Do your bones ache?” More nods, more frowns. “Headache?”
Same.

“How long?” I whisper. More tears come
to my eyes. I shouldn’t cry. I’m not leaving anything behind, not really. Just
my daughter, and it’s not like she knows me. She won’t be affected by my death.

Joshua looks away. “Two days, maybe
less.” His voice is flat, emotionless.

I start to cry again and I turn away
from him.

* * *

“We need to stay.”

I open my eyes to an argument. The car
isn’t moving anymore and I’m alone in the third row. I’m in just as much pain
as I was when I fell asleep. Not that I expected to feel better.

“We need to get movin’.” It’s Angus, he
sounds pissed.

“She’s in pain.” Axl, that same
straightforward way of speaking. “Every bump in the road hurts her. She’s
moanin’ in her sleep.”

“I can’t listen to it anymore.”
Parvarti. Pleading. Her voice is high, kind of whiny. Angus is going to love
that.

“Tell him, Doc.” Axl again. His voice
has more emotion this time, it’s not as flat. Why is he so upset?

“When they’re getting close to the end,
every movement hurts them. The closer she gets to death the more pain she’ll be
in.” Joshua, his voice tense. I guess he’s seen too many people die the last
few weeks. “If we keep driving, she’ll be screaming in agony by the end of the
day.”

“Then she can stay here—alone. What’s
the point of takin’ her with us anyhow? If she’s just gonna die?” Angus. The
bastard.

“We. Ain’t. Leavin’. Her.” Axl. The
emotion is gone. His voice is firm. Final.

Somewhere, deep inside my aching body,
there’s a different kind of ache at his words. I’ve never had another person
stick up for me like that. Never.

“Fine,” Angus growls.

* * *

I’m in a hotel room. A Best Western.
That’s what the sign outside looked like, anyway. It’s dirty, but I don’t care.
I’m shivering and my skin is sticky with perspiration. I’m in pain. Outside,
the sun is setting. I’ll be dead in a day.

They only had two rooms available. Angus
didn’t want to be anywhere near me, so he’s in the other one, along with Trey
and Parvarti. Axl and Joshua stay with me. Although, it’s just Axl and me at
the moment.

“You should drink somethin’,” he says
for the millionth time.

My lips are cracked and painful. He’s
right, but my throat is so inflamed it’s almost swollen shut.

“I’ll try,” I whisper. It hurts to
breathe. I don’t want to drink any water, but he won’t stop saying it. This may
be the only way to get him to shut up.

He helps me sit and tips the cup up to
my lips. I sip the water and attempt to swallow it. It can’t be more than a
tablespoon of liquid, but it’s difficult to get down. I cough and end up
spitting some of it out. It dribbles down my chin and onto my shirt. I don’t
care.

Axl pats my back. “Easy.” He helps me
lay back down and sets the glass on the bedside table, staring down at me.

“You don’t have to stay,” I say. “I
heard Angus. He’s right. I’m dead.”

A pained expression crosses his face.
“We ain’t leavin’ you.” His voice is thick.

I close my eyes. This must be awful for
them. Waiting to find out if they’re immune. One of them could be laying in
this bed a couple of days from now. After I’m dead.

“Did Joshua say how long it would be
before you and Angus knew?”

“Couple days.” He’s so blunt,
unemotional.

How he can face his own death with so
little fear? I can’t. It makes my body shake and my heart pound. I’ll be gone
by the time they know for sure.

I look up into those stormy eyes of his.
It doesn’t make sense why they’re so comforting.

I swallow and take a deep breath. It
hurts to talk, but there are a few things I need to say. “If you make it to
California, will you go see Emily for me?”

He frowns and his eyebrows pull together.
“What would I say? She’s four.”

“I know. It’s just…” He’s right. It’s a
stupid request. “Just lie to me.”

“‘Kay then. We’ll go see her.”

“Thanks,” I whisper, closing my eyes again.
Just talking wears me out.