Brooklyn & Beale (24 page)

“Fuck,” he whispered, his voice hoarse, his eyes stinging. He had no one but himself to blame for the turmoil picking him apart piece by piece. Everything hurt. He would have given anything for just one moment of peace. One moment where he didn’t hate himself, where the voices were silent.

Dropping his pen and notebook to the floor, he moved to his bag. His throat tightened when he saw the handful of Starburst wrappers shoved into the side pocket. Chloe’s work, no doubt. He froze when he spotted another small object. His hand shook as he reached for the baggie of cocaine he’d shoved in there weeks earlier. He licked his lips as a dark wave of anticipation rolled from the top of his head to the soles of his feet. Numbness. Escape. A chance to silence the voices and blanket the memory of Chloe’s broken face. He wanted it. He needed it.

Finally, he’d found something easy. Like riding a bike, he went through the motions. Powder to mirror. Rolled bill to credit card-cut lines. Everything to nothing. Sweet nothingness. Pausing, he pulled in a shaky breath before exhaling in defeat.

“Fuck it.”

Sleep came and went as Chloe took two long flights from Devon to New York. She didn’t attempt to distract her mind from the time she spent with Reid. He kissed her. She loved it. She was fairly certain she was in love with him. It was pointless to deny. It didn’t matter that it was wrong, that he was off-limits, or that she was going against the very thing she swore she wouldn’t do from the beginning. It happened, and there wasn’t a damn thing she could do about it.

Or was there?

When the plane touched down at JFK, Chloe wasted no time getting to her apartment. She needed the familiarity of her home, her belongings. The moment she walked in the door, however, she realized nothing about her apartment felt like home. Dropping her bags to the floor, she sank into the softness of her sofa and closed her eyes. As soon as she did, the last of her energy vanished. Restless and exhausted, she fell into a dreamless sleep, not budging an inch until the following morning when the constant beep of her cell phone coaxed her awake. Disoriented and groggy, she sat up and blinked several times to clear her vision. She peered at the screen, a mixture of emotions washing over her as she saw the message from Josie.

Heading to the airport. See you tomorrow!

As excited as Chloe was to see Josie, she was beginning to second-guess her decision to pack up and move to LA. Chloe closed her eyes and sighed. She was grumpy and jet-lagged. Her back ached and she was starving. Deciding she would be better off spending the day resting and avoiding interaction with others, Chloe made a quick trip to the grocery store then spent the rest of the day cooking and watching movies. By nightfall, she almost felt normal. Still, there was a nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach that she couldn’t shake. Whether it was adjusting to the silence, her anxiety and guilt over her feelings for Reid, or something else altogether, she wasn’t certain. All she knew for sure was that it hadn’t lessened. Feeling defeated, she cleaned up, showered, and fell into bed. Tomorrow Josie would be there and Chloe would have a big decision to make.

The next morning, just as Chloe poured a cup of steaming coffee, there was a knock on the door. Smoothing her hair and wiping under her tired eyes, she opened the door, a surge of emotions rushing through her as soon as Josie came into view.

“Oh my God,” she choked, wrapping her arms around Josie. “I’m so happy you’re here.”

Josie returned Chloe’s embrace and stepped into the room. She studied Chloe then arched her brow. “I see you’ve been lying your ass off about how awesome the tour has been,” Josie joked, closing the door behind her. “And I’m happy I’m here too. Clearly, I’m needed for more than packing.”

With a breathless laugh, Chloe gave her a small smile. “No, I haven’t lied. I swear. The tour was amazing. Until . . .” Chloe cleared her throat and looked at her hands. “Until things got complicated.”

“Chloe, what happened?” Josie asked, her voice soft and comforting.

Chloe sighed. “Can we just back up a minute first?”

“Depends on how far you plan to back this thing up,” Josie said with a smirk, resulting in Chloe’s first real smile in days.

“I really have missed you.”

“Quit stalling.”

“Fine,” Chloe said with a dramatic sigh. “Let me grab my coffee. Do you need any?”

Josie declined and walked over the couch, motioning for Chloe to follow. Once Chloe had her coffee and the two were seated, Josie turned to face her. “So, last I heard, things were going amazing, but the way you’re acting right now leads me to believe that’s no longer the case. Tell me what happened.”

Chloe shrugged. “I’m a horrible person.”

Josie laughed. “You’re so lucky I’m not Maddie. Although, I am considering smacking you in her honor.”

A tear slipped down Chloe’s cheek as she set her cup on the table. “I’m serious.”

Josie scooted closer and placed her hand on Chloe’s thigh, her expression grave. “Shit, this is bad, isn’t it?”

Chloe laughed without humor, rolling her eyes to the ceiling as she wiped her cheeks. “I did exactly what I said I wouldn’t. What I knew I shouldn’t. I fell for him. I fell for a guy who belongs to someone else.”

“Oh, Chloe. You didn’t . . . act . . . on those feelings, did you? No judgment if you did. I can’t imagine being in your situation, but well, you know how I feel about things like that.”

Chloe looked at her hands. “I didn’t, but . . . he kissed me.”

“The fuck?” Josie spat, her eyes wide. “He did what?”

Chloe nodded. “And if I hadn’t stopped him, he was going to do it again the night I left. I’m so confused,” she sighed, dropping her face to her hands.

Josie pulled in a deep breath and settled against the back of the couch. “Tell me everything.”

Deciding not to beat around the bush, Chloe recounted the night in her hotel room and the encounter in his dressing room with as few words as possible. Josie’s face colored with different emotions, but she remained silent until Chloe finished.

“Well, you can’t change your mind about moving to LA,” Josie said as soon as Chloe ended her story, her tone matter-of-fact.

“But I never said . . .” Chloe began before Josie cut her off.

“You didn’t have to. I see it all over your face. But you said yourself that things are tough here. If those contacts Reid gave you are legit, and I believe they are, you’d be a fool to let your feelings for a guy stop you from bettering your career.”

Chloe opened her mouth to protest when there was a knock at the door. Her brows dipped in confusion as she stood from the couch and slowly crossed the room. She hated how much a part of her hoped to find Reid standing on the other side. When she opened the door, however, it most certainly wasn’t Reid.

“I figured you ladies could use a hand,” Anders said, walking into the room like he owned the place.

He could own the place, Chloe thought. The entire building, if he wanted.

“Anders,” Josie said, her face etched with confusion. “I thought you had an interview.”

“Rescheduled,” Anders answered, his gaze sliding across the room.

“And Nathan?” Josie pressed.

Anders shrugged and smirked, cocky and playful. “Avoiding me. What else?”

“That still doesn’t explain what you’re doing here.”

Anders sighed and fell onto Chloe’s sofa. “I’m bored.”

Chloe gaped at him. She was certain that no matter how many times she was around Anders, he would always intimidate the hell out of her.

Josie rolled her eyes and looked at Chloe. “I’m sorry. We can talk later?”

“Oh, don’t stop on my account,” Anders drawled, looking at the screen of his phone. “I tried to be polite and let you two finish your girl talk bullshit, but that doesn’t mean the walls here aren’t thin as fuck. I heard every word.”

“Anders!” Josie covered her face and groaned. “I can’t believe you were eavesdropping.”

Anders’s face twisted with annoyance. “Don’t be so fucking dramatic. I wasn’t eavesdropping.” He cut his eyes to Chloe, who had yet to utter a word. “I wasn’t eavesdropping.”

“It’s okay,” Chloe whispered, at a loss for words.

“Josie’s right, though,” he said flippantly. “You’d be a fool not to move to LA. Not everyone has opportunities fall in their laps like you did. This matchbox you’re living in is proof of that. Fuck, this place is small. It’s like the size of our closet. How can you stand it?”

A spark of annoyance ignited in Chloe’s chest. “Some of us don’t need eight thousand square feet to house our egos,” she snarked, her jaw snapping shut as she realized what she’d said.

A slow smile crept across Anders’s face and his eyes lit up. “And here I was thinking I’d have a break from Maddie’s smart mouth this weekend. Looks like everything will be the same as always.”

Josie laughed. “I knew you’d miss her. Now, if you’re going to be here, you’re going to help. We have packing to do.”

Anders’s expression colored with disdain. “I do not miss her. And you know I fucking hate packing.”

“Yet, here you are,” Josie said, sweeping her arms wide.

“I’m not sure,” Chloe cut in.

Anders sighed and stood. “Listen, Chloe, I meant what I said. Don’t be a fucking idiot. You know the entertainment business is ruthless. You have nothing to gain and everything to lose by staying here.”

Again, Chloe was left speechless, but this time she wasn’t the only one.

“Holy shit, look at you being helpful,” Josie joked.

Anders lifted his brow, an arrogant gleam in his eye before turning back to Chloe. “Well? What do you say? Are you going to be a fucking idiot, or are you going to pack your shit and move to LA?”

“Is he always this rude?” Chloe asked, her eyes wide, a small smile twitching at her lips. As brash as Anders was, it was nice to have someone lay things out in a no-nonsense way. He wasn’t being her friend; he was being sensible and smart. His words caused a feeling of calm to wash over her and the indecision twisting inside her to settle.

“Always,” Josie sighed with an eye-roll. “But he has his moments.”

Chloe smiled at them and mimicked Anders’s stance. “Well then, let’s quit standing around and pack this fucking shit,” she said, her voice low in an attempt to sound like Anders.

A beat of silence passed before Anders and Josie burst into laughter. “What the fuck am I getting myself into?” Anders sighed, taking a box from Josie’s outstretched hand.

“You have no idea,” Josie answered, shooting a wink in Chloe’s direction.

Pushing the hair from his face, Anders nodded. “Where do I start?”

“There,” Chloe said, pointing to the small bookcase.

Turning in that direction, Anders paused and looked at Chloe. “For the record, if Reid’s the good guy you believe he is, he wouldn’t have kissed you if it didn’t mean something. Good or bad, guys have a hard time admitting they’ve gotten fucked up over a girl.” Anders threw a glance at Josie and smiled. “Believe me, I know. We can be stubborn as fuck.”

For the remainder of the day, Anders’s words played on a loop in Chloe’s mind. She knew on some level Reid’s feelings went beyond friendship. That, however, wasn’t the point. She couldn’t let whatever was going on between them stand in the way of her career. The fact that she’d considered not moving to LA, brief as it was, proved that when the tour resumed, Chloe would have to set some boundaries.

Spending all her free time with Reid would have to stop. It was how she got herself into this mess in the first place. No matter how much her feelings had changed, Reid was her friend first. She didn’t want to lose that. All she could do was hope that, with time and distance, she would be able to sort through her feelings and accept things the way they were.

It was late afternoon when the trio finished packing Chloe’s life away. All that remained were stacks of nondescript boxes with different rooms scribbled across the tops. “So what’s next?” Josie asked, looking around the room.

Chloe sighed and leaned against the wall. “The movers will be here in the morning. Once they finish up, I’ll meet my landlord to turn in the keys. After that, I’m going to see a few friends, then I’m off to spend a week of quality time with my mother before flying out to LA where I’ll hopefully find all my stuff waiting.”

Josie cringed. “A week? What on earth possessed you to do that?”

Chloe’s shoulders slumped and her eyes fell shut. “I still haven’t told her I’m moving,” she muttered.

“What?! Chloe, she’s going to have a stroke,” Josie sputtered.

“From what I’ve heard, that might not be a bad thing,” Anders chimed in absently, his eyes closed as he rested his forehead on Josie’s shoulder.

“Anders,” Josie chided, even though Chloe could see that Josie was contemplating that outcome.

Chloe chuckled. “She’d still find a way to use the good side of her mouth to tell me all the ways I’m ruining my life.”

Anders’s eyes popped open and Josie gasped as Chloe shrugged. “She’s my mother and I love her, but she’s horrible.” Chloe looked at Anders and raised her brow. “What I wouldn’t give to see you two go head-to-head.”

Josie laughed and Anders smirked as he snaked his hands around her waist. “Could you imagine? Your mother, ‘Ms. High and Mighty and Offended by Everything’ in the same room with Anders, ‘I’m Going to Break the Record for How Many Times the Word Fuck Can Be Used in a Conversation’? You wouldn’t need to tell her you’re moving; Anders would definitely give her a stroke.”