BrookLyn's Journey (28 page)

“Same here.”

BrookLyn swallowed past the lump in her throat.
“Will I ever see you again? You’ve been
a
ghost for the past few weeks.”

“I’ve been a little upset. If you miss me
,
you can see me now.”

“How?”

“I’ll come to your house.”

“I’m not at my house. I’m at choir rehearsal
.
”

“Well, you won’t be at church forever. Call me when you get home
.
”

BrookLyn
couldn’t tell what type of mood
Gabby
was in.
Was she
happy to hear from
her
or not
?
Her words and
tone didn’t match.
“Just so you know your house is more of a home to me than my parents
’
home.”

“I’m glad
.
I want you to feel safe.”

“If I can call you tonight, I will
.
”

Gabby
sighed again and it
was as if
BrookLyn
could feel her anger coming through the receiver.
She knew that
feeling
well.

“Gabby, you realize that I have parents
,
right? If you’re going to be with me
,
this is how it’s going to be. It won’t be like what you’re used to doing in your past relationships. My parents are always there. Freedom is not something I have. I’ve never had any. So, if you want me
,
this is a part of me.
” BrookLyn paused, waiting for a response, anything, from Gabby.
“Gabby are you there?”

“I’m here.
”

“
I know i
t’s a lot to take in. How do you think I feel? That’s why I haven’t called.
”

“
Why can’t they just let you be
?”

“Have you been sleeping on this friendship? They don’t need reasons Gabby. They just do.”
Maybe calling was a mistake.
Tears formed in
BrookLyn’s
angry eyes.

“Hey?”

“Yes.”

“Wipe your tears and stop calling me and not talking. That’s called stalking
.
”
Gabby
laughed.

“I’m not crying
.
”

“Uh, yes you are. I can hear you.”

“Well, I just needed to hear your voice.”

“I hope it did what you needed
.
”

BrookLyn turned around at a sound outside.
“I have to go someone is coming. I’ll talk to you later
.
”

“Promise?”

“Yeah
.
”

“Love you.”

“Me too
,
”
s
he
said in
her
haste. It was true though.
She
did love her
, she
just didn’t know if that would be enough.

BrookLyn
put the phone down, wiped
her
eyes
,
and
snuck
out of the pastor’s office back to the sanctuary. As
she
entered the church doors
, she
decided that
she
might give Gabby a shot.
Gabby
had given BrookLyn her
first taste of happiness. Being together wouldn’t be easy but
she
wanted things to get better.

C
hapter
Ten

When
she
got home from rehearsal
, BrookLyn
went straight to
her
room.
She
had already eaten a little at church so
she wouldn’t
have to sit downstairs with
her
parents.
She
moved so quick they didn’t have a chance to force
her
to stay downstairs.

She still
had to run down
after they ate
and clean up their dishes and the kitchen. It made sense to them
,
but not to
her.
Why should she have to clean up when she
didn’t eat or mess anything
up
?
She
had no choice
, that’s why
.

Her
father
sat in the living room while
she
cleaned
and then
came into the kitchen
when she was done
,
with
his
face
hardened
, to
inspect
her work.
He
looked around and
sent
her
off to bed with a swift finger point.

BrookLyn
rushed upstairs, put
her
pajamas on
,
and
snuck
into
the
shoebox for
her
phone.
Then, she
lay in bed waiting for him to leave
, clutching the
phone under the blanket. As soon as the front door close
d
,
she
dialed
.

“Hello?”

“Hi. It’s me
.
”

“I know. How was rehearsal?”

“It was the same as always, boring. I use it just to get out of the house. I don’t really enjoy it.”

“I thought you liked it.” She sounded a little surprised.

“Nope, it just gets me out of here. I’ll do almost anything to keep from being in this house.”
BrookLyn
had to apologize
.
This was
her
first relationship
, and a
forbidden
one at that, it
would take some skill and patience
—and secrets.
BrookLyn’s
world was so small
already and
this relationship would make it even smaller.

“So, I really am sorry. I just need to put that out there
.
”
She
was
sorry,
but
she
couldn’t promise that it wouldn’t happen again.

“You don’t have to apologize
, BrookLyn
. This is all new for you. I apologize too
,
but my feelings were hurt.”

“I know. I was mad at my world and took it out on you. I miss you.”

“Well, I’m outside your window.”

“What?” BrookLyn had no idea where her mother was
,
but she probably wasn’t too far away.
Her
heart started to race with nervousness and excitement.
She
wished
that
her
brother and sisters were still living at home.
She might get a rest
. Most of the time it was just the dragon at home
with her
,
so hiding was impossible.
She
tiptoed toward the window and looked down on the ground. There she was.
“I see you.”

Gabby
climbed up the tree
with the skillfulness of a cat,
and perched herself on the branch as if she was supposed to be there.

BrookLyn’s
heart skipped a beat
.
“Just wait a second.”

She
crept out into the hallway and peeked over the railing to see if
her
mother was in the living room. The television was off
but just
as
she
turned to walk back toward
her
room
she
heard her
mother’s
haggard breathing behind
her
.
She
held
her
breath.

“What you looking for downstairs?”
S
he
stood
with her hands on her hips.

“I thought I heard something.”

“Well, if you were in your room sleeping you’d hear nothing but your dreams,” she smirked.

BrookLyn
wanted to yell and scream at her but
she
didn’t.
She
wasn’t up for a fight.
She
wanted to see Gabby.

“I’m going to bed now. I’m sorry.”
BrookLyn
tried to sound convincing.

“Don’t be sorry
,
just do better
.
”

BrookLyn
had no reply for that
so she
turned and walked away.

She
opened
her
bedroom door and
Gabby was already sitting in
her
chair. She was wearing a soft
-
yellow shirt and jeans that looked like they were made only for her to wear.
BrookLyn
almost screamed from excitement and fear
.

“I can’t believe you’re here. Are you crazy?”

She stood up and walked closer to
BrookLyn.
“Crazy in love,” she said
and
leaned in to
kiss
her.

BrookLyn tried to avoid getting lost in Gabby’s kisses, keeping her
ears toward the door
, listening for her mother’s big feet stomping down the hall
.
Her heart was racing, both at the thought of getting caught and from the excitement of Gabby’s lips.
Finally, BrookLyn’s common sense won out and she pulled back from their embrace. She let herself sink into Gabby’s gaze.

“Please, don’t ever let days go by like this without calling me. I think that hurt wors
e
than your words.” She
offered
a
comforting
smile, but her
eyes
held
a s
adness in them that
BrookLyn
could feel
.

She couldn’t help but think
it was
her
fault
that sadness was there
.
“I’m
so
sorry. I missed you,
Gabby—
your voice and your smell. I
am
still
so
confused.”

“Well, I don’t want to be apart like that again. Agreed?”

“Yes. If you put the ball in my court again
,
I will actually pick it up.”

Gabby pulled BrookLyn in for another tight hug
.

BrookLyn squeezed Gabby back and then pushed her gently away.
“You know you can’t stay, right?” Fear
of her mother was tangling BrookLyn’s insides
.

“I know. I just needed to see you. I had to take a chance.”

“Glad you did but
...
”

Gabby nudged BrookLyn
up against the door.
“
Hey, d
oes your door lock?” she asked.

“If it locked
,
I’d be safe.”
BrookLyn wished that was the case,
but
it
wasn’t.
She wanted to feel safe when Gabby wasn’t with her. Her
heart was lonely without her. Everything about
Gabby
was right
—
except that she was a woman.
I’ll find a way to
deal with that
.
She
sat back down on the bed
and focused her gaze on Gabby
.
She
was amazed that
she
was in
her
parent
s
’ house and felt safe.
She
had never felt safe in this house