BrookLyn's Journey (34 page)

“And she asked if you were okay. That’s all.”

What a mess
s
he
’d be in at school if they knew
—
she
was bullied enough
.
She
didn’t need to add
the label
lesbian to
her
list of faults.
Besides, BrookLyn
didn’t even consider
her
self one.
As crazy at it seem
ed
,
she
was
just in love with one.

“She told me that Alexa said that she saw your parents in church and asked about you. Your parents told her
,
and other people in the church
,
that
you were out of town for a while. They didn’t give any details except that you weren’t listening to their rules. They also said that they sent you to live with your aunt and uncle. Before she could ask any other questions, they rushed off.”

“Leave it to them to send me out of town because of something
I
did. They can’t ruin the image of
being
the perfect parents. Nice. Whatever.”
BrookLyn was
annoyed by their lies
.
Even though she was out of their house, they could still find ways to hurt her.
She
tried to calm down.
“Gabby, I think I’ll take that soda you offered.”
She was nauseous again.

“I’ll be right back
.
”

BrookLyn
sat on the bed waiting
,
just want
ing
all of this to go away. It wouldn’t
,
but
she
could hope.

Gabby
returned with a big glass of soda.

“Thanks. I hope this settles my stomach.”

“I hope so too.”

BrookLyn
drank almost the entire glass in one gulp
then looked at Gabby.
“Does Alexa know?”

“Know what?”

“About us
.
”

“I didn’t tell her anything. I don’t know what she knows. Usually my cousins keep my business quiet. That’s one of our rules.”

“Being that my head spins every time I think about it. I don’t really want us to go telling people about it
—
about us. I don’t know who or what I am.
All I know is who you are and what I feel about you.”

“That’s good enough for me. People may assume things about you, because you’re with me. I don’t hide who I am
,
but I love you enough to hide who
we
are
.
However
—
”

“However
,
w
hat?”

“
However...i
f you don’t get out of bed and leave the room there’ll be nothing
to
say. Actually there’ll be nothing to see. We’d have to leave the house for people to see us together
and make assumptions
.
”
Gabby
smiled but
BrookLyn
didn’t.

Then
she
busted out laughing.
“Well, I guess you got a point
.
”
BrookLyn
had
barely
been out of th
e
room
to eat a few times
, and she definitely had not been outside to
see sunlight since
she
came
.
Whether or not she
was ready to go out of the house
,
she wasn’t sure, but
it was time for
her
to get out of this bed
.

Chapter
Thirteen

That night, Gabby slept in the bed with
BrookLyn
.
They
didn’t do anything more than kiss and talk into the night.
She still
didn’t want to move any faster than
she
had before
she
moved in.

BrookLyn began to think about school. She
didn’t think that
she
should
go back
to Pine Bush High School.
She
would never feel safe there.
She
’d spend
her
days looking out of classroom windows for
her
father
.
She
didn’t want to risk it.
“Gabby, I need to go back to school.”

“Are you ready?”

“Not even close
,
but I want to graduate. My grades are good enough
now,
but I won’t make it if I miss too many days. I need to continue working toward my goals. I c
an’t
get to the other ones if I d
on’t
graduate high school.
”

BrookLyn had an idea.
“Gabby, I want to go to your high school.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I’ve always wanted to go to Middletown anyway. It always seemed like a better school.”

“I’m not sure that it’s better
,
but I know that it’s more diverse. It’s different than Pine Bush for sure
.
”

“What’s different about it?”

“I can be me and no one tells me I have to be
anything else.
”

BrookLyn had
never been able to be
who she was
.
She’d
always
felt she
had to be who they wanted
her
to be.
“I have a hard time being a geek at my school.”
BrookLyn
didn’t think
she fit the description of geek,
but
her
classmates did. They didn’t know
that
she
studied
so much
,
so that she could
escape
her
reality.

“Well, my school would be a place where you’d be okay. I wouldn’t let anyone hurt you. I think it’s a good idea that you switch schools.”

BrookLyn smiled.
“I think so too.”

She
decided that on Monday
she would
go to register.
She
didn’t want to
tell the
school all of the
real reasons for her transferring.
She
didn’t want to have to let the secrets
she held
become public.
She would
carry those inside of
her
as
she
had for eighteen years.
How could she
tell all the painful details about what they’d done to
her?
Of what she had
allowed
them to do.

“Thank you
,
Gabby for doing all of the things you’ve done.”

“Don’t thank me. I want and need you in my life.”

BrookLyn thought that maybe she
needed
Gabby
more than
Gabby
needed
her.

“So, are you excited about starting a new school?”

“I’m a senior
,
starting a new school
,
so, no. All of you guys have probably known each other since kindergarten.
”

“I met everyone in the seventh grade. I moved here then. It was all new to me
,
but they never made it hard.”

Why would they?
Gabby
was beautiful.
“Look at you and look at me. They wouldn’t pick on you.”

“There’s no specific look for people to be mean. Mean people don’t need a reason. They’re just mean. For the record, there’s nothing wrong with how you look, BrookLyn.”

“According to the kids at my school there is. They always talk about how I look.”

“Well, I’m here to tell you
,
again
,
that you’re beautiful.”
She winked at BrookLyn.

“You have to say that
.
”
BrookLyn tried to act as if she was joking, but Gabby
didn’t laugh.

“I said that about you before you were even my friend. I wish you could look in the mirror and see who I
see
when I look at you
.
”

“I see an ugly person who wears her sister’s
hand-me-downs
.”

“Do you think you
r
clothes are
what make
you beautiful?”

“No.”

“Well, they don’t. Clothes
have nothing to do with someone’s beauty
. Clothes just cover up our bodies
and accentuate our look
. They have no other value.”

“I’m sure nice clothes help.”

“What’s in here
,
”
Gabby
pointed at her chest
,
“
t
his right here is what’s important.”

“I guess so
.
”
BrookLyn
shrugged.

“I know so.”

“And what
makes you the expert on beauty?
”

“Life makes me an expert on it.”

BrookLyn wondered what she meant by that.
Before
she
could
ask, Gabby continued.

“A few years back I knew a girl
, Brielle
. A pretty girl who changed into an ugly person every chance she had.”

“What do you mean?”

“I lived near a kid
, Mikey,
who wasn’t like us. He didn’t read as good and sometimes his words didn’t come out right. One thing he didn’t do was bother anyone. He just wanted to come to school. Well this girl, this pretty girl with long hair, nice clean clothes and a beautiful house felt like it was her
duty
to hit this boy every day. He never did anything. He just cried.”

“Did anyone help him?”

“No, not even me. She was the popular girl. She was the one who told everyone in school how to act and what to do. But one day
,
I just didn’t want to see her pick on him anymore.”

“What happened?”

“When she stood up to pick on him
,
I didn’t stand next to her this time. I stood near him. I told Mikey that I would protect him. I promised him that I wouldn’t let anyone else hurt him. When Brielle heard what I said
,
she started picking on me. She turned and told everyone not to be my friend. She told everyone that I acted like a boy. She was the first one to ever call me a lesbian. I didn’t even know what it was then.”
There was
sadness
in her voice
as she told
the
story
—a pain that BrookLyn
understood.

“I stood alongside Mikey every
day
,
even though the
other
kids called me names. It hurt but I didn’t care. My mom told me I was doing the right thing. The smile on Mikey’s face
told me
that
too
.
Mikey never cried in school again
,
because I made Brielle leave him alone
,
by taking the focus off of him and putting it on me.”

“You were so young then to do what was right. It was brave.”

“I’m not sure if it was brave
,
but I know it was right. Mikey may not have looked like everyone else but his heart made him beautiful. We were the ugly ones. He wanted nothing more than to go to
school
and learn,
and we wouldn’t let him.” Gabby’s
blue
eyes
took on a
gray
ish
hue
. She looked toward the floor.

“Beauty is from within, BrookLyn. Please remember that.”