Building on Lies (15 page)

Was I ready for that? I liked how Chan made me feel when he was kissing, and exploring, but did I want to take it further?

Yes, you do! A little voice in my head said. His kisses feel like magic, can you imagine what the rest of him will feel like?

I bent down to kiss him again, but I sort of missed his mouth and ended up kissing him on the cheek. I tried again, and this time, my aim was perfect. I took his hand, and put it under my hoodie again.

“ Nellie, I think maybe we should stop," he said, raggedly.

“ Why?" I said, biting on his lower lip. “ I don’t want you to stop”.

“ Baby girl, you’re drunk. You don’t know what you want," he said, moving his hand out from under my blouse. He started playing with my hair instead.

“ I’m not drunk!" I insisted. “ I think…I’m ready”.

“ Nellie, three days ago you were dumping me!" he said, tickling me a little so I squirmed. “ And now you’re ready for sex?”

“ Chan. We’ve been dating since September. It is now December. That’s…” I had to think for a minute. My head was kind of foggy, and mathematics weren’t coming easy.

“ Three months," Chan said, with a chuckle. “ Not exactly a lifetime.”
“ It’s long enough! Bruna Porto says she sleeps with most guys the same night she meets them, especially if they’re cute!”

Channing made a face. “ Yeah, but Bruna Porto is kind of easy”.

I poked him in the chest. “ Excuse me? How do you know Bruna Porto?”

“ Everyone knows Bruna Porto, Nellie. Her name and number is written on every stall in the guy’s bathroom at school”.

I laughed so hard I practically rolled off his bed, and he had to grab me before I hit the floor.

“ And they say Ty is the funny one in the family”. Channing pulled me close to him again, rocking me a little in his arms.

“ So, you’re refusing my delicious body?" I asked.

“ Yeah," he said, kissing the top of my head. “It’s not that I don’t want your delicious body…but I think I’d like for you to be able to remember my name the next day”.

“ You’re a real gentleman, Channing Sutton," I said, and I meant it. It felt great to be with someone who respected me so much. Yeah, I was ready to sleep with him now, thanks to a couple of rum and cokes. But how would I feel about it later? I was glad Channing cared about me enough to make sure I didn’t have any regrets.

“ So you’re going to Winter Dance with that Joaquim guy?" he asked, after a pause.

I groaned. “ Chan. Talk about a mood killer.”

He laughed quietly. “ I just want to know”.

“ Yeah," I said, reluctantly. “ It just sort of happened. Ro is going with Tommy, his best friend. So, I don’t know, it kind of made sense I go with him”.

“ No, I understand”. Channing took a deep breath. “ I wish we were able to go together. You know that, right, Nellie?”

“ I know”. I squeezed his hand. “ But, Joaquim is just a friend. And the Winter Dance is just a dance, right? It’s not like prom or anything”.

“ Yeah, true," he agreed, but his voice sounded kind of bitter. “ I’ll be going with Samantha.”

I didn’t know if he meant Winter Dance or prom, or both.

“ But listen”. He sat up and swung himself out of his bed. “ I got you something”.

I sat up, and clapped my hands together. “ Presents! Yay!”

“ I hope you like it”. He went to a drawer, and pulled out two small black boxes.

I stopped clapping. Chan had given me presents before, and all of them had been thoughtful, as thoughtful as he was. One was a coffee table book with beautiful photographs of the Azores, the islands off of Portugal where my great-grandparents were originally from. He’d given me my own ice cream maker, because he knew how much I loved home made ice cream. And he’d given me so many mixed tapes I teased him about how much time he spent burning Cd’s.

But the black boxes looked like jewelry. And not the cheap, clunky jewelry I bought from Accessory Place either. Accessory Place jewelry came in cheap little plastic bags with a purple flower logo splashed all across. These were little black velvet boxes that screamed expensive, probably a whole years worth of allowance expensive.

Chan hesitated as he handed them to me. “ Nellie, I’m sorry I can’t take you to Winter Dance. But, I was wondering if you could wear these that night. If you think I’m asking too much, I’ll understand”.

My hands shook as I opened one of the boxes. They shook even more when I saw a gorgeous yellow pearl with a diamond clasp, strung through a fine gold necklace. I was scared to take the necklace out of the box. I’d never seen anything quite like it before.

“ Chan. I can’t accept this," I said, because I knew…I just knew…this necklace was more than my mother probably earned in a month. It was probably worth the down payment on a new car, or maybe even the cost of a used car. It wasn’t a necklace a girl from Egg Cove wore. This was strictly A-girl type jewelry.

“ Nellie. I’m going to the dance with Samantha, but if I could, I’d be going with you.” He took the box from me and lifted the necklace out. “ Lift your hair, so I can put it on you”.

I held my hand to my neck, and shook my head. I felt like crying.

“Channing, there’s no way I can wear this necklace. A necklace like this belongs to a girl like Samantha, not a girl like me”.

For a brief moment, he looked angry, but then his face softened. “ Nellie, this is going to sound extremely corny. But honestly, to me, you’re worth a thousand of these necklaces. You’re worth more…than all the stars in the sky”.

I had to laugh at that, and it broke the serious mood. “ All the stars in the sky, huh? That’s it?”

He shrugged sheepishly. “ OK, and a couple of planets, too”.

“ Wow”. I exhaled, and lifted my hair. He put the necklace on. I got up and went to look at myself in the full length mirror hanging inside his walk in closet.

The necklace was so fine it almost looked like the pearl was floating on its own on my neck. The pearl itself was a soft shiny gold.

“ I’ve never seen a pearl this color before," I murmured.

“ It’s called a South Sea pearl. They’re from Australia. They come in gray, too, but I thought the gray was kind of gloomy. The gold ones are supposed to bring sunshine and joy to whoever wears them”. He kissed my shoulder.

“ I’m not even going to ask how much this cost," I said, shaking my head.

“ The cost is not being able to go with you to Winter Dance. Or anywhere else for matter," he said, regretfully. He sounded so sorry I turned around to hug him. “ I wish we didn’t have to sneak around, Nellie. You don’t know how much it kills me I can’t break up with Samantha”.

He pulled away from me, and looked down into my face. “ But you understand, right? You don’t hate me for it, do you?”

I shook my head. “ I understand”.

“ Samantha’s just…she’s just…” He struggled to find the right words. “ She’s unhinged, you know? Sometimes, she really scares me. I don’t know who else I can talk to about this. You know, at times I feel like if I didn’t have you, I’d go crazy myself”.

“ Maybe Samantha is a lot more sensible than you think she is. I mean, I know she’s done wacky things in the past, but all of it happened two years go. Maybe she’s matured since then”. I fingered the pearl at my neck.

“ No. She hasn’t changed. She’s as unstable now as she was back then. She won’t change until her parents get her some help. But they live in this fantasy world. They think all the effed up things she does is just her acting out. But it’s a lot deeper than that”. Chan threw up his hands helplessly. “ I don’t know how to help her, either”.

“ I talked to her the other day," I admitted. “ And she seemed pretty normal to me.”

He looked at me, alarmed. “ You talked to her? Why’d you talk to her?”

“ That day in the lunchroom? When you came to my table? She saw us. And then she found me in the hall and asked what you wanted," I explained.

Channing was quiet, his handsome face creased with worry.

“ But I told her we had Sociology together, and we were working on a group paper," I reassured him. “ And she seemed okay with it”.

“ Man, Nellie, I wished you’d told me that," he said. “ I had no idea you two had spoken”.

“ We got into fight over Joaquim, and it slipped my mind, I guess! But I’m telling you, she seemed like the sweetest thing.”

“ She’s not the sweetest thing. She’s a real bitch," Channing snapped.

I didn’t like for him to use that kind of language, but I could understand his anger. He’d lost a lot because of Samantha.

“ I just don’t like that she talked to you. She’s always jealous of any girl I talk to, even Bethany. I really wished I’d used my head when I looked for you in the cafeteria. I was just so upset about Joaquim trying to go all Romeo on you in the hallway I just didn’t think”.

“ Chan! Please! All Joaquim did was kiss me on the cheek! Were you on drugs that day, that you saw something entirely different?" I asked, jokingly.

“ Trust me. I know what that guy wants," Channing said, and I had to giggle at that.

“ What’s so funny?" he said.

“ Nothing”. I stopped laughing, and pointed to the other box was still on the bed. “ What’s in that one? A diamond ring?”

“ Open it”. He brought it over to me, and I slowly opened it. It was the matching earrings to the necklace. The same beautiful golden pearls, only slightly smaller.

“ These are just gorgeous, Chan”. I closed the box, put them on the dresser, then stood on tip toe to kiss him. “ Thank you, thank you, thank you”.

“ You’re welcome. You might be dancing with Joaquim at Winter Dance, but I want you to be thinking of me," he whispered.

“ I have to confess. Joaquim bought me my dress for Winter Dance," I said, guiltily.

Channing gave me an arrogant wink. “ Well, I think my gifts are worth a lot more”.

I raised my eyebrow. “ Oh, really? Because they cost more?”

“ Uh, why else?" he teased. “ I’m the rich A-boy, right?”

“ Chan?”

“What?”

“ Just kiss me, and quit talking stupid”.

We hung out for a couple of hours more, watching TV, and listening to music. He gave me a foot massage, and I convinced him to let me pluck his eyebrows.

“ They’re bushy! Like caterpillars!" I cried, chasing him around his room with the tweezers I carried in my purse.

“ I don’t know. You’re drunk, you might take my eye out," he said, hiding behind a pillow.

But he let me pluck, gasping like I was killing him anytime I pulled a hair.

“ Look at this, Nellie," he said, just before he took me back to my car. I was sober by then, and good to drive.

He went to his closet, and brought something down from a top shelf.

It was a unique wood picture frame. It was designed to look like patchwork, little bits of colored wood neatly shingled together. The pieces were all different shapes and sizes, and the effect was like a quilt, except made of wood.

“ Chan, this is fantastic!" I said, running my hands along the smooth colorful pieces.

“ It’s made of recycled wood. From boats, houses, buildings. Some of the wood comes from as far way as Thailand," he said, and I loved the small, proud smile that always formed whenever he showed me his creations.

“ It’s amazing," I said, giving it back to him.

“ I’d give it to you, but I’m going to use it one day. I want to put a picture in it," he said. He put the frame on his closet shelf, all the way in the back, hidden from view.

It was times like these I felt so sorry for him. He was so talented. He didn’t deserve to have to shove his work away in a closet.

“ Whose picture?" I asked. “ It’s such a beautiful frame”.

His face turned somber, distant. “ My son’s picture. If I ever find him, you know? I’d like to use the frame”.

“ He’d be two, right?” I asked gently.

Channing rarely talked about his child. Most of the time, I even forgot he had one. But sometimes, he’d get quiet, and kind of remote, and I knew he was thinking about him.

“ Yeah. In August. He turned two”. He cleared his throat, and looked at his hands. “I thought about him a lot when I was working on that frame. All those little pieces of wood, from all different places. I put them together, and made this really awesome creation. And that’s kind of like my child, you know? He’s got a piece of me and Samantha, and even his adoptive parents, I suppose. I bet all of those pieces are going to add up to a really awesome human being”.

“ One day, you’re going to be able to tell him that. I just know it," I said, softly.

“ Thanks, Nellie.” He smiled at me, gratefully. Then he took a deep breath. “ But it’s way past one. I’d better get you back”.

Chapter 6

“ Real nice of you to disappear like that, Nellie”. Ro scolded me the next morning. My mother had left for another job, and again, it was just us two at home.

“ I told you I was going to meet up with Chan," I said, putting some bread slices into the toaster. I yawned, and stretched.