Bullet to the Heart (28 page)

Bullet did not. He wondered where Gretchen fit into the equation. His heart skipped a beat as he realized Gretchen was a non-entity to Bullet. She would die denying that the woman he knew even existed in Bullet’s soul.

Her legs whispered against the coverlet, and his body hardened in a rush. He sat back in the chair, shadowed. She knew he was there. Fascinated, he watched gooseflesh rise and ripple across her arms, pebbling her nipples, and rushing over her abdomen. Rand took a deep breath.

They would leave in only hours, and all he wanted at this moment was to lose himself in her. The towel on her head came off and her red tresses made a vibrant splash against the blue covers. The light from the bathroom washed over her pale flesh, illuminating and shadowing at the same time.

“Why are you here?” Her voice was soft as it brushed over him.

“I can’t stay away from you.”

“I remember you in my sleep.” The admission seemed torn from her.

He chuckled ruefully. “That’s right, because you don’t dream.”

Softness gone, her retort was biting. “This thing you have with mocking angers me. If you came here to do—if you came here for me, perhaps pissing me off isn’t the best way to get in my pants.”

He got up and walked to the bed, stared down at her, and the desire pulsed through him. It was heady, this need he had for her. Bigger and more potent than anything he’d ever experienced.

“Then it’s a good thing you’re naked, huh?” He reached for her hand and found her reaching for his. “Sit up.”

Her eyes flared, and then she veiled them. Control was a precious thing to her, but it was for Rand, as well. And he would have this of her tonight, her submission to him on a level she’d never given anyone. He would show her everything he felt with his body. Because Bullet would never allow Gretchen to have the words he could feel trying to creep up his throat.

She did as he asked, and he thanked God. He didn’t want a physical fight with her. This was lo—
lust
, not war. Not yet.

He wrapped his hands through her hair and urged her up. As soon as her body made contact with his, Rand’s breath hissed in, and he groaned. He was bare-chested, and his pajama pants did nothing to hide his erection. She rubbed her stomach over him intentionally, and his hands clenched so hard, he knew he was pulling her hair.

She raised her face to his and licked her lips. Luscious lips, full lower and upper now wet from her tongue.

“I told you earlier that you make me want. But tell me Gretchen, what do
you
want?”

She searched his face as if it held the answers to the creation of the universe. Then she smiled and his hips flexed of their own accord. His dick pressed against her stomach, a torture, but not for much longer.

“I want things that are impossible. To be honest, Mr. Beckett, I cannot voice what I want when you touch me.”

“You refuse to use my name. Why?” He whispered his question over her eyelids. Her skin was so damned soft. He followed the line of her cheeks, kissed her temple, and proceeded lower to the edge of her lips. He wanted to feel her lips move as she answered. “Tell me the truth. Do not lie to me here, tonight.”

She took a deep breath, and it moved over his neck. Even her breath was sexy.

“In my mind, you are Rand. But the reality is that you can never be more than Mr. Beckett to me. If I allow you to be more than that, you will own a piece of me I cannot give you.”

His heart ached, her words verifying what he’d known all along. “If I am Rand in your mind, then that piece already belongs to me, does it not?”

She smiled and he was lucky enough to be there to taste it. The flavor was sweetness and remorse. Bittersweet. He swiped his tongue over her lips in reward for her honesty.

“Not yet, Mr. Beckett. Though you wage a hard campaign—” She rubbed her stomach over his hard flesh again, and he groaned, unable to hold it in. “—I cannot give you what isn’t mine.”

“You’ve already given it to me. When I’m deep inside your body, everything you are is mine. Believe it or not, Bullet, the woman inside of you wants the man inside of me. Look at me,” he demanded in a voice rough with desire.

She complied, and her gaze struck a match in his chest. Fire raced down his spine, tightened in his groin, and spread through the rest of his body. He would take a long time with her tonight, imprint himself on her body, in her soul. Everything inside him clamored for it. For
her
.

“If you would make this a war between us, I think you should know that when the smoke clears, I will be left standing, and that piece that you say isn’t yours to give will be in my hands.” He licked along her jaw, and then returned to her mouth.

Her gaze was defiant, and the cock that was already harder than a brickbat for her hardened even more, begged for the depths of her body to ease the sting of the lust inside him.

“It hurts,” she bit out as she raised a fist to her chest. “I cannot fight two wars. One with you and one with Joseph. But neither will I wave a white flag on either front. And I don’t want war, Mr. Beckett. Not with you.”

He brushed his lips over hers again, and she moved to catch his as he retreated.

“Then let’s not have war tonight. Give me Gretchen. Tomorrow, you can be Bullet. Tonight, give me that piece of you I crave, and I’ll give it back to you when the sun rises.”

She lowered her head, but not before her pain clubbed him in the gut. Then she raised her head and stood proudly before him, and he knew then that he’d have Gretchen for tonight. His heart swelled, and he pushed aside everything else. Ken’s distrust and anger, his own feelings of betrayal, and his insecurities.

Tomorrow, they’d resume the fighting. Tonight was all about Rand and Gretchen.

He persisted in thinking there was a part of her still Gretchen. That person had never had time to form. She’d been Bullet for too long. Remi for a shorter time, but even she had realized there were different people who lived inside her. Remi had risen from Gretchen’s ashes. Bullet had always been.

But this man who made her heart beat called to her. All of her. Gretchen was gone, but here stood the woman who was both Remi and Bullet. And she wanted him. All of him.

His gaze burned her. It was a war between them. He desired something she couldn’t give because it simply didn’t exist. But she’d give him what she could.

“Tonight, I’ll give you all of me. But you want Gretchen and you must realize that Gretchen is gone as if she never was. It is the name of a memory. I am Bullet. I am Remi.” She lifted his hand and placed it over her heart. “Gretchen isn’t here, but you can have what is left tonight. And tomorrow we’ll go back to what we were meant to be.”

It would have to be enough. Her body sang with need, and his hand answered its call. His hand flattened and stroked over her breast, ghosting over her nipple, tugging for a brief second, and then wrapping around her ribs and pulling her flush against him.

“It will have to be enough,” he said, echoing her thoughts. “Lay down on the bed, face down.”

Shock flowed through her at his words. No way could she give up her back to him.

Could she?

“You hesitate, but I can see in your eyes that the need is there. Lay down,” he said, and hard demand resounded in the silent room.

She was liquid heat, and even though she rebelled at his dominant tone, her body obeyed him, and she settled herself on the bed. The rasp of fabric against her nipples sent electricity through her, centering in her clit, and spreading to her limbs. She moved her hips, desperate for contact.

“No. You don’t move until I tell you to move,” he said as the bed dipped, and he joined her.

Her hands fisted in the sheets, and she had the fleeting thought that maybe she couldn’t do this. He must have sensed her reticence. He kissed the base of her spine, and then splayed his big hands over her buttocks and kneaded.

“Your skin is so soft. But I never smell lotion. All I ever smell is plumeria. Lie still,” he admonished.

His voice and the demand in it made her grind her teeth. She closed her eyes as desire curled through her, wrapping around her heart, demanding things she couldn’t give.
No, he can’t have—
Couldn’t have what, exactly?

He licked along her spine, his body coming over hers, his skin hot against hers. She reveled in it, needed it. He’d stripped, so his cock settled at the crease of her butt and her hips lifted.

“Don’t do that.” Oh, he was affected. His voiced trembled even as he commanded.

She lowered her hips, desire quickly edging to desperation. He was so close to where she needed him to be.

“Please,” she whispered before she could censor.

“I like how you beg, Gretchen. But I think I need more. I can still feel the tension in your body. You shiver, but is it from need, or do you fight me still?” He pushed her heavy hair out of the way and licked her nape. “You must want as much as I do. In order for that to happen, you have to let go of everything but me.”

She could smell him wrapped around her. Male and something indefinable.
Mine
, her heart whispered. An insidious thought, it wormed deep in to her brain and writhed there, alive with all manner of possibilities.

“Stop thinking,” he said at her ear as he flexed his hips. “Feel me, Gretchen. Feel what you do to me.”

His lips moved over her shoulder, rained fire down her side, pausing at the edge of her breast and licking. He chuckled when she breathed in harshly and then moved to her hip. Oh, he was evil, teeth biting, lips easing the sting, and then circling back over and over. She was a mess of roiling heat and desire, and still he refused to let her move.

“Lift your hips,” he commanded, and she complied, wondering where the complacency came from.

Her muscles tightened in protest of his words. She had to mentally unclench them. It took long minutes, and he was patient with her. It caused a hole to open in her chest.

He pushed a pillow under her hips, and once again her body sought ease from the contact with something, anything. He growled, and she went dead still.

“Nicely done,” he praised her. “Spread your legs.”

This opened her to his gaze while at the same time allowing her clit contact with the soft pillow beneath her. She moaned. He groaned.

“You’re beautiful,” he said, and there was a hint of reverence in his voice. She squeezed her eyes tight.

“I’m going to touch you. I’m going to kiss you, and then, Gretchen, I’m going to slide my cock so deep inside you there is nothing else but me. Nothing but me inside you, around you, on you. Do you understand?”

She couldn’t form words. His touch had long ago stolen her voice. She wanted to rage, but more than that, she wanted him to do what he was promising.

He ran a finger along her cleft, a teasing touch full of promise. “Do you understand me, Gretchen?”

She nodded.
Please, please, please
, she chanted in her mind.

He toyed with the inside of her thighs for what seemed an eternity, lightly scratching up the quivering flesh, taunting the lips of her woman’s flesh, stroking over her clit to move away and start all over again.

If her hips moved, his touch stopped. She wanted to scream in frustration, but just as she would draw breath, he would slide a finger tortuously close to her opening, and it would steal that breath.

“You undo me,” he murmured seconds before he placed his mouth on her and suckled.

Her hips slammed back and he stopped. “Please,” she whispered aloud. It came out more grunt than anything.

“What do you want?”

She buried her face in the bed.
“S’il te plaît,”
she whimpered.

“Your body is flushed. Your pussy is soaked and swollen. Tell me, Gretchen, what do you want?”

She shook her head side to side and refused to answer him. He would take everything. Gretchen wasn’t there, and he didn’t want Remi or Bullet. There was nothing left.

“Answer me,” he ground out even as he swiped his tongue up her cleft. “What do you want?”

She gave up. Painful desire beat at her. She
needed
. “
Toi
. I want you. Inside, around, and on . . . me. Please!”

He entered her with one thrust, seating himself firmly inside her from behind. It was glorious, the feel of him within her body. He rocked against her, spread her cheeks, and canted her hips at a different angle, then withdrew and slid back home gently.

“You wrap around my cock so perfectly. One day, Gretchen, you’ll have to see this. We fit together so sweetly. Your body kisses mine beautifully.” His voice was guttural.

Her hips moved back as his moved forward, and within moments, she felt on the cusp of that brilliant shining thing she knew was orgasm. Something she would only ever share with him.

She exploded at the thought, insides tightening, hips in the air, body exposed as he rode her through it. He whispered words of encouragement, but all she could focus on was his breath at her ear and the tone of his voice. His words meant nothing when he was showing her everything with his body.

Remi wanted to touch him, watch his face as he moved inside her body. He stilled and she lifted her head, turning her face to the side where he dove in for a kiss that involved more than lips.