Burden (5 page)

I nearly killed
the wolves as they began to pry the collar from her neck. First, they were touching my mate, and second, they were touching my mate. Finally free of her bondage, I swept her out of there before the grizzlies could find us. I did not go up there for a war. I promised the wolves if they ever needed us, we owed their pack a favor—and a big one. River and Flint filed into the truck and I sat on the edge of the seat, hefting her into my lap. I covered her with a blanket. It was far too cold for any creature, even a bear, to be running around in the thirty degree weather with only a small shirt and shorts on. Wasn’t it bad enough she was bone thin and wearing a collar?

Finally on the road, I took the time to replay the moment I first saw her laying in the grass, her jet black hair
seemed like it went on for miles and miles, breaking free of its hairband as soon as she woke. She pounced like a feral cat when she heard us, and that’s when I knew that my mate was probably the bravest, fiercest bear I’d ever laid eyes on.

T
hen her eyes, the color of a turquoise stone, connected with mine and my world shattered.

Everything in my body seized, including my heart, and with an exhale of bated breath, it began again, beating with hers, in time with the female I was created to love.

And now here I held her. Her breathing was steady but I longed to see her spring to life. It twisted my chest to see her passed out in reaction to pain. She stirred in her sleep and shivered a bit. Pulling the blanket so that it no longer separated us, I lifted my shirt and hugged her closer, sharing every bit of warmth I had with her.

This was it.

She was here with me, the promise of our Creator, a mate to call my own, to share my life and my troubles with. To tell my secrets and listen to hers, to stand with me, equal in rank—a female to love and bear my cubs—to build a family and a legacy with. In my arms was my lifelong wish, my dream come to fruition. Echo was my mate, my heart, my love and hope for our clan.

I thought maybe my bear would be restless beyond control with Echo upstairs, in my bathtub, but he was restrained, smug, in fact. She was in my home, safe, warm, and about to be fed. He and I were both satisfied enough for the time being. I’d never known satisfaction like what I was feeling at that moment.

I opened the refrigerator, contemplating what to eat and was pleasantly surprised to see two casserole dishes along with two glass bowls with a  note on the top that read:
Congratulations, Alpha. Please accept this meal as a welcome to our Coeur, Martha.

The female must’ve cooked a meal for us as soon as she heard about our return. She’d always been the kindest female I’d known and would one day make someone a fine mate. I squelched my need to prepare my female something from my own hands and placed the two pans into the oven and set the table.

Echo had shut off the water a few minutes before and was completely tranquil.

I went upstairs, grabbing fresh sheets and comforters from the hall closet. I reluctantly put her in a room next
to mine. After stripping the mattress and replacing everything, I added extra blankets to the end of the bed in case she was cold. She was very thin, probably too thin to keep herself warm like a normal bear. I slept with no covers, no sheet, nothing. And still I was always hot. I checked her room to make sure everything was in order when I heard a marked splash and the sound of a towel being taken from the metal rod on the wall. She was out of the tub.

Rushing downstairs, I’d never been so flustered in all my life. I craved her approval in all things. The new, yet familiar
, yearning trumped everything else. Her happiness was goal number one.

“Hawke?” I heard her call from the top of the stairs.

“I’m here,” I answered, walking from the kitchen pretending to be some kind of suave—I failed.

“Am I sleeping on the couch? I just need to know where to keep my things.”

She was dressed in something I presumed was Martha’s, but her scent was more pronounced now, no longer confused with the smell of grizzly. And Flint had been right, there was a human part of her smell. But it wasn’t the time or the place to get to the bottom of it.

I looked at her like she was nuts
, and she was if she thought my mate would ever—ever sleep on the couch.

“Is that anger?”

“A little, but not towards you. If you turn around, that’s the door to your room from now until you would rather sleep somewhere else. This is your home. Please treat it as such. Dinner is ready when you are.”

“I’m starving.”

I huffed out a laugh at her honesty, finally. “I know. It’s waiting.”

She spun around to go into her room and my bear did not approve, sending thoughts to me again in fragments—
our bed, mine, too far away, closer, mine.

I rolled my eyes
at his intensity and impatience. No wonder black bears were dwindling in numbers. We were despondent asses, apparently.

I
laid the food out on the table. Martha had gone all out—Shepard’s pie, chicken noodle casserole, pasta salad, and blackberry cobbler. It was my favorite. I waited nearly thirty minutes before I decided to go check on her. I hadn’t heard any noises in a while. I knocked on her bedroom door but there was no answer. Opening the door, I looked around and found her, fast and deeply asleep on the bed, looking very much in a state of bliss. Letting out a satisfied but a small part disappointed grunt, I covered her up, shut off the lights and closed the door.

There were so many things I wanted to say, but if she was tired, then there was nothing I could do.

I went back downstairs and no longer felt like eating without her company. I put away all the food and replaced the dishes and silverware in their appropriate places. My office and the three days missed called me to my desk where I sifted through letters and bills. Flint was right. We had, in fact, received a letter about truancy from the Principal. She was human, but her father was shifter, puma, so she understood that when students were not in school, the best person to take up her grievance with was the Alpha. We couldn’t have children missing school. It was plain unacceptable. I made a list on a yellow pad beside me, all the things to address at the next clan meeting. At the top of my list was formally introducing Echo to the clan, as my mated female. But first we’d have to go through the process. At the very least we’d have to exchange bites. I’d never push her to do anything more until she was ready, though my bear would demand it sooner or later.

I threw my pen down and sanded my face with my hands. She consum
ed my mind. Her long black hair was the longest hair I’d ever seen on a female— and it begged me to run my fingers through it, to feel it laying against my stomach as she slept. Her slim figure fit perfectly within my hold, and she’d melded into my chest the few times I’d reached for her. The sight of the slight scars on her neck brought my bear to a new level of vexation. It was all I could do not to go back to the grizzly land and strangle Horace until he had no more breath. And even with everything she’d been through, she’d allowed me to hold her the whole way home, even after she woke. It was the greatest honor I’d ever been bestowed.

“Are you okay? You’re all over the place.”

Her voice broke through my anger and replaced it with concern. The level of my emotions had woken her, what an asshat.

“I’m so sorry
. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s ok, I’m—“

“Hungry. You’re nearly starving,” I finished for her.

“Yes. But I will go make something. Is that okay?”

I barely suppressed a growl, “Let me. It’s my pleasure.”

“Are you sure? You’re tired yourself and stressed. It twists my gut.”

“I am stressed, but I will try to forget about it.”

“Is there anything I can help with? I’m a hard worker.”

I smiled at her, “I know you are. The wolves said Horace worked you to the bone and you never complained—tried to escape, but never complained. But for tonight, let me feed you.”

“You’ll let me help tomorrow?”

“Yes, of course.”

We made our way downstairs
, and instead of heating entire pans of food, I simply heated her a plate and made a separate plate for pasta salad and bread. She still stood in the doorway, waiting for an invitation or permission, either way, it irked me.

“Please, sit. I meant it when I said to make yourself at home. This is your home now.”

She nodded and sat near the wall. I placed her food before her and she thanked me.

“I’ve never eaten at a table,” she blurted out. I had reached the granite counters to make my own plate and I used my grip on the edge of the smooth stone to take out my aggression.

“Why,” I managed to rumble out at her.

She shrugged, “I always ate outside after cooking.”

“Explain,” I sounded like a feral, spouting out one word questions.

“On Mondays and Thursdays I cooked for the
clan. But I wasn’t allowed to eat with them.”

I looked at her, “You’re not eating.”

She tossed her fork on the table, “How can I eat? You’re coming unglued over there. I feel like I need to…”

“Say it or do it, please.”

Eyes closed, I felt her get up from the table and come towards me. Coming up from behind me, she wrapped her arms around my waist and rested her head in between my shoulder blades. I didn’t know if it was minutes or hours but eventually my bear relented to her touch and came down from the mountain.

Instinct, that’s the
only word I had for it. My bear told me, she showed me in my mind’s eye what would rid him of the anger that now crawled through him, enveloping him in a dark cloud. She told me in simple words—
touch, feel, calm, nearness, mate.
I’d never heard her speak to me directly and somehow I knew it was Hawke who had drawn it out of me.

I took small steps, making my way to him and the she took over, willing my arms to wrap around him and press my face to his back. I could feel the anger subside not immediately, bu
t in minutes as we stood there, inhaling and exhaling together.

“Thank you,” He breathed out.

“You’re welcome. I don’t—that was weird.”

“Not
weird at all. It’s the way mates work. I’m sorry I lost control. Females should be seated first at the table, even if every male in the clan has to stand and eat. It’s just atrocious how you were treated.”

“We come from different places,” I whispered into the back of his gray t-shirt, stretched across his shoulders.

“Doesn’t matter,” he covered my hands with his own, “We belong together.”

I nodded against his back and returned to the table
even though there was still a splice of me who doubted his words. I knew he would join me and he did just seconds after the beep on the microwave told him his food was ready.

He sat in front of me,
“Did you go to school?” I didn’t answer, mostly because I was afraid he’d get angry again.

“It’s ok,” he reached for my hand across the table, “I’m in control of it.  I was just shocked.”

“No, I’ve never been to school. I taught myself to read, and whenever the other kids would throw out their textbooks, I would steal them.”

“You can get your G.E.D. if you want, college too. We have computers and internet.”

“Thank you. This is really delicious. Did you cook this?”

He shook his head, mouth full of food. I watched intently as his chiseled jaw worked back and forth, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed.
And if Adam’s apples could be attractive, then his should be a model for all other Adam’s apples. I flickered my gaze back to his and I’d been caught. Recoiling in humiliation, I shoved another bite into my mouth.

“No, Martha brought it over before we got home. She’s very thoughtful.”

I bit my bottom lip, denying the jealousy swelling in my bear and in me. One day with this guy and my body was constantly betraying me.

“That’s a nice look for you, the blush.”

I felt my cheeks, heated and flushed, “I don’t know why.”

“Yeah, you do. I do too. But there’s no reason to be jealous. She’s just a
clan member who is very hospitable—nothing more.”

I blew out an exasperated breath and nodded.

“Are you done? Do you want more?”

“No, I’m ready to get back to bed. Are you going to bed?”

The blush tripled.
Did I just proposition him?

“Yeah, I am. I can handle business tomorrow. And Echo?”

“Yes?”

“The
Betas will be here early. Would you mind being with me when they come in? They are eager to meet you and will want you to at least sit in a meeting. After that you can rest or do whatever you want. I’m sure Martha would appreciate a visit.”

“Of course. Will you wake me in the morning in time
to get ready?”

“I’d be happy
to. See you tomorrow,” I answered more confidently than I thought possible.

He followed behind me on the way up the stairs and passed me without a touch or a breath on his way to his room. I never in a million years though
t I could miss something so deeply, in so little time.

I tucked myself into the bed. I
t was so soft and smelled of Hawke. The whole thing confused me, twisted me up in knots. One side of me, the human thinking side, questioned everything.
Why had I gone so willingly with him? Who was he to tell me I was his mate? Why did you let him take you halfway across the country?

But my bear, my dominant character, the bigger piece of me, soothed the feisty woman—
he’s ours, belongs to us, safe with him, mine, mine, mine.

I could hear
him in the other room. I tracked the pattern of his breaths as he fell asleep. They were even, and then as mine did, they grew deeper and deeper together until I knew we fell asleep together.

My dreams that night were filled with heat and Hawke, a deadly combination.
Bodies tangled, chest to chest, his mouth hovering over mine, claiming me with words and action.

By the time the morning came, I
felt like wasn’t any more rested than when I had fallen asleep, though I’d slept well. I could feel Hawke’s breaths, even and chanting. I thought somehow the whole thing had been one big dream. I was in his home, but he hadn’t found a mate in me, I couldn’t feel him, didn’t know his very presence by heart.

But th
ere I was, trying to awaken as calmly as possible, wanting to get downstairs and prepare breakfast for him and his Betas—nothing like good old fashioned kissassery.

I found everything I needed qu
ickly. Having no idea how many Betas a clan this size held, I prepared for an army. I scrambled three dozen eggs, four pounds of bacon and sausage, each, and baked two pans of biscuits. Carrying one of the pans from the oven to the counter, I felt an awareness pulse in my gut. Hawke was awake, up and moving about his room. He knew I was up and began to feel a little irked. I laughed to myself at how quickly I knew his emotions but didn’t know the simplest things about him. I felt like I was living in the land of opposites.

I didn’t even know if he liked the food I was taking so much care in preparing.

He came into the kitchen, dressed to kill. His hair, black as night, just like mine, was shaven on the sides and a little longer on the top, giving him a James Dean appearance. His eyes were as black as his hair and his smirk was a little too tight that early in the morning.

“Good morning, Echo
. You slept well.” It was a statement, not a question.

“You did as wel
l. I thought I’d get an early start. I made breakfast for everyone. I didn’t know how much.”

“I see that, thank you. Coffee?” He asked.

“I knew I was forgetting something.” I flew into panic mode, throwing cabinets open and searching for the good to make coffee.

“Hey,” he said, gently grabbing my wrists and turning me to look at him. “It’s fine. We’ve got a good half hour before they come in. I’ll make the coffee. Why don’t you go change and everything will be ready when you come down?”

I looked down and realized that, in my morning rush, I’d failed to get out of my pajamas.

“Sorry, I forgot. I was in such a hurry.”

He tipped my chin up with his index finger, “No sweat. I just really don’t want my Betas to see you in those,” he pointed to my shorts and tank top as if they were Victoria’s Secret lingerie.

“Ok,” I complied and bolted up the stairs to change.

“Thank God for Martha,” I whispered, holding up a pair of low rise jeans and a teal thermal shirt. I threw them on and then went into the bathroom and unzipped the bag she’d provided me with the night before. It held everything I’d need for a month. She’d thought of everything. I put on deodorant, brushed my teeth, and took my time running a hairbrush through my long hair. Satisfied I no longer looked like I’d rolled through the woods, I exited the bathroom and heard the voices of several males joking and what sounded like clapping someone on the back. It took me aback, I’d never heard the Alpha and Betas get along in my other clan. The Alpha simply spoke and the others scattered to do his bidding. There was certainly no camaraderie involved.

I took the steps gingerly, hoping to sneak up on them unnoticed or at least not completely make a spectacle of myself.

“There you are, Echo.” Hawke reached out his arm. I went under it, close to his side, suddenly very put off by the presence of other males in the room. I wanted to hide behind him so they couldn’t see me.

“They are trusted friends, there are no enemies here,” he whispered in my ear.

“You know Flint and River,” they both bared their necks and smiled. “And this is Tarrow and Aspen.” Both males took their turns baring their necks. The door opened then, just as I was getting comfortable, and a female strolled in. My bear did not appreciate her attendance one bit. I grabbed the back of Hawke’s shirt and he pulled me even closer, placing a peck on my temple just for her.

She must be interested in him.

She wants to be his mate.

Rival
—my bear growled at me.

Hawke chuckled beside me and then turned it into a fake cough, “
Echo, this is Chloe. She’s the Beta female. Though I don’t think that position will be needed for very much longer.”

It was a direct jab at the raven haired sex-pot whose glare was targeted solely on me.

“We’ll see,” she croned with a flip of her hair. “I’ll be waiting in the office.”

As soon as
she’d left our sight, the four Betas and the Alpha beside me groaned.

“Ok,” Hawke broke the tension with a clap, “My mate has made us all breakfast. That’s where we start.”

But no one moved.

“Echo, you go first.”

“Me?”

“Yes, you are the female. Although, Tarrow is questionable after last year’s swimsuit fiasco.”

“Shut up, all of you. It’s cool in Europe,” the one named Tarrow bellowed.

“You’ll have
to tell me about that later. The food is getting cold.”

“After you,” Hawke waved me further into the kitchen. I grabbed some of everything and the rest of the boys piled their plates high.

They told stories around our breakfast, mostly tales of a young Hawke getting into tons of trouble. I briefly thought to myself ‘these are not the mature males I’ve seen run a clan.’ But I’d been wrong about so many things that I flicked the thought away.

They sat back, fully sated, “I will clean up. You guys get to your meeting.”

They all thanked me and left the room but Hawke did not.

He looked at me
, and I sensed his disapproval.

I sunk back in the chair, “I did something wrong already.”

I knew it. I knew I wasn’t cut out for this.

“Not you. That damned
clan you were raised in. Black bear clans are led by an Alpha pair, a male and his mate. You are included in all meetings. That’s why they call you the heart. You are the heart of this clan. Males make rash, harsh, swift decisions, sometimes without thinking about the effects of those decisions. But the female takes the heart of the clan into consideration, the feelings, and the effect the decision will have on the morale of the clan as a whole when she makes a choice. I need you in there with me.”

“You—you need me?”

“Do you doubt me?”

“Never. I don’t know why, but no, I’d never doubt you.”

“Excellent. Now let’s go conduct a boring meeting and we will handle these dishes later. And by the way, you are a great chef. You’re gonna spoil me.”

Great. I can cook. That’s gonna make a great Alpha female. Just perfect.