Burden (17 page)

He let out an ‘hmmm’ and then began brushing in real strokes.

Finally after a half an hour I began to nod off, it was so relaxing having his hands in my hair.

I wouldn’t admit
it to anyone, and it was too touch and go for Echo to pick up on, but my bear was antsy. He was skeptical of having that many people in our home. I supposed it was because our home had always been shut off to the rest of the pack. Mostly, he was leery about that many males being in the vicinity of my mate—even if she was marked. And I couldn’t help but traverse through the scenarios involving her mom. She could legally and rightfully be taken from me. Yes, I could always just shift and take out anyone who made the claim, but as the Alpha, I was expected to not only respect, but be the first to be obedient, to the laws of our kind. She had a legitimate claim. I’d been so stupid. I just took her story at face value and never bothered to investigate as I should’ve.

Her conversation with Martha in the kitchen was heart shattering. She’d always felt like a burden to her other clan, and didn’t want to feel like one in our clan. She didn’t see herself as the rest of us did, as I did—as the greatest miracle ever bestowed on our people.

That Sunday was a bustle of activity. I spent most of the meal answering questions and dodging bullets. The pack members were overjoyed at learning that most of their expenses were now taken care of, so their females no longer had to work, only if they chose. They were not as thrilled at the thought of putting a percentage of their earnings into a central account but were subdued after I explained the reasoning. I kept an eye on Echo. There was something incandescent about her as she moved lithely from family to family. She was a dichotomy, retaining both leadership and humility, both confidence and modesty.

“She’s a natural,” Flint
commented, he’d caught me watching her.

I rumbled with pride. She was the best female I could’ve ever found and she was mine.

“You did a good thing here. The clan members are happy with the changes you’ve been making. They respect the hell out of you and Echo. They say you’re the best Alpha this clan has had in centuries.”

A panicked look struck his face as I turned to answer him. “What?”

“It’s B.”

He scanned the room and pinpointed his mate, now surrounded by a few females, their voices carrying a tone of worry and excitement.

“Flint, her water broke,” Echo’s voice pitched above all others in the room, commanding their attention and demanding they listen. I beamed inside at the sound of her voice. It reinforced her place in the clan and the way I hoped I’d convinced her of her importance. My mother would’ve never spoken out in a crowd.

Flint
ran to his mate, and scooped her up without hesitation. Our females gave birth on our land. If there were complications, Martha’s mother was a trained midwife and veterinarian. Our cubs came into this world in human form, but began to shift in their sleep as early as three months. It was often celebrated privately among families when a cub shifted for the first time. There was an old wives’ tale which told of mothers dreaming of shifting—it triggered the shift in their newborns. It was said the Creator gave them the dream; as everything came easier to a cub when learned from their parents. So He gave them the dream when the cub was ready.

Echo was at my side in an instant, “What do we do?”

I rumbled a laugh, “We? Nothing. B has to do all the work.”

She elbowed me playfully, “You know what I mean. Do they have everything they need?”

“I’m sure they do. If not, we’ll take care of it.” Several members of the clan came to say their goodbyes, and Echo and I were left with embraces and sincere words of appreciation. I’d never seen my father embraced by a clan member—ever.

“I’ve got an idea,” I said, pulling her to me by the waist.
All it took was one look and I fell deep into the wells of her turquoise eyes.

“
What is it?”

“I’ll clean up while you and Martha hang out. Y’all have worked hard today.”

“I’d refuse, but I am tired. And I haven’t gotten to get Martha’s take on everything today. She doesn’t gossip, but she hears everything. I’d like to know what the clan is really thinking about what you announced.”

“You were remarkable tonight. They all love you.”

She blushed furiously, “They all love me?” Her voice was playful and a wicked cock of her hip told me she was being playful again.

“Yes, they all love you, but I’m the only one
in
love with you.”

Her eyes ticked to the right and I followed her gaze, finding Opal enthralled with our conversation.

“Hi, Ms. Opal, I’m sorry, we didn’t see you there.”

“Oh dear, it looks like
you two wouldn’t notice if the whole world caught on fire. I’m so pleased we’ve got an Alpha pair who show the rest of the clan how it’s done.”

“Thank you,” Echo replied, not quite believing her.

The rest of the clan filed out and Flint, Aspen and Tarrow helped me clean the kitchen. After everything was done, I made one more pass through the house, making sure I hadn’t missed anything.

“Should I come with you?” I heard Echo ask Martha.

“No, it will be fine. I’ll call you when they’re born.”

“Okay, please do.”

She looked to me, distraught with worry. “B is having trouble. One of the babes is breach.”

“Martha’s mother is very experienced. Everything will be fine.”

“Okay. Martha said everyone was pleased with tonight and she didn’t hear anything negative. Except for Chloe—apparently, she was critiquing everything I did.”

I rolled my eyes, “She’ll get over it.”

“Hmmm…So, the Alpha isn’t present when a new cub is born?”

“No. At least it’s never been done before.”

She rolled her bottom lip between her teeth, “He’s your best friend.”

“He was my best friend. Now you are. Just give it to me straight, Echo. You’re dancing around what you really want to say.”

She stood from the couch and paced stiffly in front of the fireplace. This went on for nearly ten minutes before she turned to me and popped her fists to her hips, “The Alpha pair should be present at all births. I’m not saying you need to go deliver her or anything. But we could at least show our support and readiness to serve them if the need arises.”

She nodded at herself, pleased with her outburst.

“Come on, Coeur, let’s get over there before you burst. I think you just want to see newborn cubs.”

He was right.
I was itching to see newborn cubs. In the other clan, I was always kept separate from the newborn cubs except once when one of them was born with some kind breathing trouble. Then, of
course, I was dispatched immediately but they would only let me touch it enough to save its life and then I was made to leave. They said they didn’t want me to infest the cub’s fur with my stench.

Hand
in hand, we made our way to Flint’s home. I was surprised to hear no screams like I had at the births of my old clan. I supposed those females were made to be silent so much, maybe their only chance to scream was when they were birthing.

“What’s that look,” Hawke nudged me with his hand on my waist.

“They—um—they wouldn’t let me around the cubs in the other clan. They said I would rub off on them, my disobedience and my smell. How stupid.”

Hawke breathed out a relief-filled huff.

“Relief,” I registered the emotion and he nodded in agreement. “Why relief?”

“Because mate, that’s the first time
you’ve recognized how sick and cruel their actions were. Before, it was almost like you still believed what they said to you. I’m relieved to hear you are no longer buying into their lies.”

“You make me want to believe in myself.”

He turned so abruptly, “You can do anything, Echo—anything.”

His eyes beheld the depth of love and confidence in me. It swirled around the irises and demanded my belief.

“See? How could I not believe you?”

A woman came out of the hallway, breaking us from our trance. Her face was pretty and younger than her gray hair portrayed. But going by her small stature
, she was Martha’s mother. She fumbled for keys of some sort.

“Alpha, I need you to get my kit from my truck. I have my regular one, but I need my surgical kit. I honestly didn’t think I’d need it.”

“Yes ma’am.” Although he showed no outward signals of stress, I could hear the deception in his tone, giving him away as calm. Inside he was a wreck. What if she had to perform a cesarean right here in their home? And then it came to me—
me
.  If she did, I would heal B.

Hawke came back in quickly and handed the bag to
her. She was mumbling to herself about what sounded like medical procedures. It would kill Flint if something happened to B. I couldn’t cower.

“I am a healer. If you have to deliver the babies by cesarean, I can heal her.”
I blurted it out more forcefully than I desired.

Her stiffened posture relaxed, “
I was hoping I wouldn’t have to call on you, Coeur. There’s been some talk of your abilities. Please, follow me.”

Hawke stood, not knowing what to do
, but I could feel that pride again surging in his chest. I followed Martha’s mother into the room but hesitated in entering. The dim lighting and atmosphere made me feel like an intruder on a very intimate ceremony. Flint was on his knees, his face buried in the palm of Beatrix, who was being urged by Martha not to push.

“Coeur?” Beatrix questioned my presence.

“The Coeur is a healer. We may need her assistance. Is that okay?”

B simply nodded as another contraction ripped through her, causing her to bear down on her hold on her mate.

Martha came over to me, “I think we’ll have to do the cesarean. The breach baby is already in the birth canal. We don’t have a choice.”

“I can heal her. She’
ll be fine,” I tried to preempt Flint’s worry.

“Ok, my mom’s done it before. She’s brilliant.”

I listened on while Martha’s mother explained her reasoning for wanting to proceed with the c-section—while Flint continued to rebel and protest against any action that would bring further pain to his mate. It was almost excruciating to watch as his defenses crumbled under her logic. I knew his brain recognized the need but his mate instinct and his bear were destroyed by the very thought of her hurting anymore—or losing the cubs or his mate.

I felt useless and helpless as Martha and her mother began to prep B for the surgery. I took a chance by going to the other side of the bed and hesitantly reached for her hand. She grabbed it immediately and nodded to me, approving of my actions. Martha’s mother’s voice seemed so dist
ant as she readied B and Flint. The pain medication had taken effect and she began cutting, pulling and tugging. The first baby came out screaming and was handed off to Martha who began cleaning it up while her mother reached in for the second child. The next baby came out silent and it scared me to death. But after Martha used one of those snot suckers on him, he came to life.

I turned my attention back to Martha’s mother and waited until she gave me the head nod. After
she was done, I left B’s hand and placed both of my hands on her belly. I felt the spirit rise within me, the companion who’d always helped me when I needed to heal. I felt its power flow through me emanating through my hands and into B’s body. I opened my eyes, questioning whether or not it was working. No matter how many times I tried to heal, I always doubted my abilities. But in seconds, B was now completely healed and from the look on her face, free of pain. I couldn’t tell if it was from the morphine or from my healing.

“The bleeding has stopped,” I asked.

“Yes, she’s completely healed.” I broke my gaze from B and zeroed in on Martha’s mother who was white as a sheet.

“Is something wrong,” Martha prompted her mother noticing the same lack of color I did.

“I—I’ve never seen such abilities. We are truly blessed to have such a talented Coeur.”

I shielded myself from her praise. I didn’t deserve it. I wasn’t even sure my healing
had worked until I looked up and saw the results for myself. I wished I had more confidence in my abilities. I wished I knew where the healing magic came from. More than anything, I wanted to know exactly which spirit came to me and guided me through the process. She felt so familiar, yet, I didn’t have a clue as to who she was. I excused myself from the room while Martha and her mother cleaned and dressed the babies. B was also taking the time to collect herself as much as she could after an exhausting birth. I directed myself to the nearest bathroom and washed my hands thoroughly. I’d gotten some blood on them when I placed my hands on B’s belly.

I walked back out
, and Hawke was pacing again. I knew he could feel my anxiety.

“Well?”

“It worked. I healed them.”

He grabbed both of my hands in his, “I know that. I mean, are they boys, girls?”

How did he know?

“Both boys. They are cleaning them all up.”

“We should give them some privacy then.”

Hawke was squirming. The big, bad, Alpha of the entire bear species was visibly shaken at the thought of being in the room with newborn cubs.

“You don’t like babies.”

“I—like—babies,” he barely choke out.

“Hawke, have you ever been around babies?”

“No. I was an only child
, and my parents didn’t really involve themselves with births.”

“Well, get ready. You’re about to meet two at the same time.”

We waited until Martha’s mother and Martha emerged from the bedroom carrying bundles of linens and her bags. We continued to wait for their prompting before attempting to see the cubs. I watched as they put laundry on to wash and flitted around doing this and that.

They both approached us and Martha’s mother approached us, “I can’t thank you enough, Coeur. You were invaluable in there and to our clan.”

“Thank you…wait, I don’t even know your name. I’m so sorry.”

Martha giggled, “That’s my fault. Echo, this is Mildred, my mom. Mom, this is Echo.”

Mildred gasped, “We do not call her by her first name like some cocktail waitress. She is the Coeur.”

“It’s fine. I’d prefer to be called Echo, unless the occasion calls for more formal etiquette,” I intervened, saving Martha’s neck.

“I may never get used to that. I’ll go check and see if they’re ready for visitors. Is that what you’re waiting for?”

“Yes.” Hawke answered and pulled me closer to him.