Burden of Survival: Killing the Dead : Season Two (17 page)

I did my best to ignore the villagers as best I could. They weren’t being overly loud but I could still hear the occasional sob and constant low chatter about the people they’d left behind in the village. It seemed such a pointless waste of time and energy when you needed so much focus on the present.

“You okay?” Gregg asked quietly as he dropped back to walk beside me.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” I asked.

“Well, your… you know. Your need to kill,” he said in a whisper. “It going to be a problem?”

With some surprise I realised that I’d not been thinking of that since the fight with the zombies. When I looked inside of myself it was there, dark and foreboding but curiously quiet.

“I’m good,” I said. “Those feral zombies helped I think.”

“Feral?”

“That’s how they acted,” I told him with a smile. “Like a feral animal. A little bit of intelligence, lot of cunning and a vicious streak.”

“Sounds about right,” he said with a laugh. “Ferals, I like that.”

“Seemed appropriate,” I agreed.

“You’re good though?”

“For a little while, sure.”

He nodded and lapsed into a silence that I found quite comfortable as we trudged along at the rear of the group. If I examined that need of mine, I could tell that it was definitely only a temporary thing.

Sure, killing those Ferals had given me some pleasure but it was more that I was anticipating killing Jenny when she turned that was distracting me. The closer the zombies were to the humans they had been, the more I enjoyed killing them, the more it helped fill that emptiness inside of me.

“I know what you’re going through,” he said abruptly and I looked at him, curious about what he meant. When he failed to add anything I sighed and asked.

“You do?”

“Sure,” he said. “I’m gay, I know all about hiding who you are.”

He looked at me and laughed at my expression. He could clearly see that I didn’t understand what he meant.

“Look,” he said. “I didn’t tell anyone I was gay for years. I’d go about my life, date girls and pretend to be something I wasn’t.”

“All the time though they’d be something inside of me that wasn’t right. I had a need of my own and every now and again it would get too much. I’d go out, hit the clubs and find some guy to spend the night with.”

He shook his head at the memories and smiled wryly as he thought back to those years.

“In the morning I’d wake up and hate myself,” he said. “I’d tell myself I wouldn’t do it again but I would. The need would grow inside of me and the cycle would be repeated. Until I came out of the closet and accepted who I was.”

“The difference,” I said. “Is that when you ‘came out of the closet’ you could live your life as you wanted to. That need no longer mattered because you could openly be with men, you weren’t denying yourself.”

“I on the other hand, well even though my secret is out. I still can’t indulge.”

“Which is a problem,” he agreed. “Because despite what the religious groups and my dad said, my being gay wasn’t hurting anyone. Your need is all about death.”

“It certainly is.”

He fell silent as he thought about what I’d said. Our needs were similar in that they would grow until fulfilled but the world had so few people left in it that I could never possibly continue to find the right type of people to kill. At some point, I’d need to kill and the only ones around would be zombies and the innocent.

“What about the undead?” he asked.

“What about them?”

“Does it do anything for you when you kill them?”

“Not really,” I said. “The stupid ones are boring. There’s no challenge to it and even when I find a group so big I can’t possibly win, it only adds a little bit of joy.”

“What about these newer ones?” he asked. “The ones you killed back at the hotel have improved your mood.”

“They were different,” I agreed.

“Is it the challenge?” he asked. “Or a sex thing? What is it about killing people that you like so much?”

I sighed as I glanced at him. He seemed to actually want to understand and help me but it was so tiresome having to explain myself.

“Not sexual,” I said. “In fact sex has never been a part of it for me. That’s not something I’ve ever thought about while killing.”

“What then?”

“It makes me feel alive,” I said softly.

“Alive?”

“Aye, connected to someone or something better.”

He shook his head and frowned. It wasn’t what he wanted to hear but it was the truth. The world was a pitiful, painful place to be until I killed and then I felt at peace.

Anything else he might had said was interrupted by Gabby falling back to join us. She wore a look of disgust but kept her tone even.

“There’s a farm coming up soon,” she said. “James told me it should be empty but I’d appreciate you two moving on ahead and checking it out.”

“Sure,” Gregg said. I had no objection so stayed silent which she took as assent.

We pushed our way through the villagers and as soon as we were at the head of the group we set off at a jog down the trail. It wasn’t long before we could see the farm and a distant road beyond it screened by tall trees.

The lack of light was a problem as we entered the stand of trees which caused us to slow our pace and ready our weapons. We climbed a stile, little more than two thick planks to provide steps over the timber fence, then the trail turned north along the edge of the farms property.

Since we were headed to the farm we walked through the damp grass and old leaves that covered the ground beneath the trees and cautiously headed to the farm house.

Before we were even out of the trees we could hear them, the mournful moans of the undead. We paused at the edge of the treeline, out of sight of anyone looking our way and peered through the undergrowth towards the farm.

“Shit,” Gregg said quietly, barely above a whisper.

I had to agree. At least a hundred zombies were spread out over the fields that surrounded the farmhouse. They were all in various states of decay, a few of them fresh enough to be recent kills. Most were standing still, staring into space waiting for something to grab their attention. Others were moving slowly with their usual stumbling gait.

Too many for us to effectively fight and just getting their attention would likely cause such a ruckus it would alert any others in the surrounding area. It was a minor miracle that they weren’t in the trees with us.

Of course, life being what it is that was when the sound of a twig snapping sounded nearby. We both swung around with weapons raised as the bush to the side of us rustled as something pushed through it.

Chapter 22

Lily

Marcus had largely ignored me for the rest of the day, leaving me to the task of ensuring everyone was doing their jobs and reassuring them that things would be ok. Will had barely been able to look at me after the incident in the storeroom.

I understood why but I refused to be embarrassed by what had happened. He’d wanted to humiliate me in front of another person and that was reason enough for me to hold my head high and refuse to let him beat me.

Two of his men had been set to watch over the people cooking in the kitchen. They’d stared at me with disinterest when I’d tried to talk to them and bluntly refused to answer questions. I’d received a warning shove when I’d pressed too hard.

By the time the food was finished cooking, everyone remaining on the island was in the main living room of the roundhouse. The three women who had been cooking the meal brought a variety of pots in and set them on tables beside the wall.

When all the pots were in, the armed men instructed us all to sit and wait for Marcus to make his arrival. He left us waiting for ten minutes as the food cooled, the scents filling the room. More than one person looked to me for instruction. I just gestured for them to wait, no need to enrage him.

“Well now, look at you all. My loyal subjects,” Marcus said as he waltzed into the room with Amy following. “Lucas dear boy, is this everyone?”

“Yes boss,” a burly fellow with arms as thick as my thighs said. He was one of the men holding an assault rifle.

“Oh jolly good,” Marcus said. He looked over the food, inspecting each pot before he turned back to face the gathered people. “Who’s hungry?”

When no one spoke his face darkened and he repeated the question. I led the others in a chorus of ‘ayes.’

“Well then, you’ve each worked for half a day since our arrival, so you will receive a half portion of food,” he said.

I frowned at that since he had already insisted on cutting the portions in half, doing that again would leave little for any of us to actually eat. We followed instructions though and lined up to be given a bowl and a single serving of rice and assorted vegetables.

We sat in silence and ate as he watched us, eyes lingering on this person or that. Thankfully no one complained though that was hard when he handed full bowls to each of his men. All too soon the food was done and we waited for Marcus and his men to finish eating.

“Well that was quite pleasant,” he said as he set down his bowl and wiped his mouth with exaggerated motions. “Now then, is anyone still hungry?”

A few hands rose hesitantly into the air but most had the sense to stay still. Becky caught my eye and I saw fear reflected there.

“Just a few of you, well that’s enough,” Marcus said. “You have the option of earning some extra food.”

The people around me exchanged looks of confusion and doubt. They knew something was off and they were merely waiting for the other shoe to drop. As loath as I was to incur more of his wrath, someone needed to speak for my people.

“What do you want?” I asked.

“Glad you asked,” he said with a grin. “Each of my companions has been on the road for a long time. Food was difficult to find but more so was companionship.”

I didn’t like where this was going and I could tell that many of the people around me felt the same way.

“Now I did say that none of my men would force themselves on any of you,” he said. “They do however, have needs.”

He looked around, taking time to see each face in the crowd and by the wide smile on his face he was enjoying it.

“Anyone who wishes to earn some extra food can do so,” he said. “Simply stand up and offer yourself to my men. You don’t have to be a woman either, Amy has needs too and some of my fellows won’t care.”

No one stood and his smile, if possible, widened. For some reason he wanted there to be no volunteers and that scared me.

“Disappointing,” he said. “Get some sleep. Tomorrow we have a busy day planned and you’ll need your energy. When I ask tomorrow night you may feel differently.”

I didn’t like the way his assembled men laughed at that and the look he shared with Amy was unpleasant. If he planned to work everyone hard with such little food, it would leave us exhausted and wouldn’t take many days like that before people started dying.

As a group we settled into our blankets as the lights went out. We were under no illusions that we were free to move around. The doors were locked and we’d have nowhere to go even if we could get out.

A hand touched my shoulder and I tensed but it was only Becky, she leaned in close beside me to whisper in my ear.

“We need to do something.”

“I know,” I said in a quiet whisper.

“This will only get worse,” she said. “I’ve met his kind before when doing my research. Total sociopath, he has zero empathy and from what I’ve seen he’s a twisted son of a bitch who gets off on power.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean he likes to dominate people. It’s too easy to just force us to do what he wants, he’ll leave us no choice. He’ll beat us down so badly that we’ll be asking to fuck his men just for a little extra food and that’ll excite him.”

Her words had the ring of truth to them and I thought back to the incident in the storeroom. He’d wanted me to submit to him and then become violent when I showed defiance. He said he’d break me and that terrified me more than I wanted to admit.

“Where the hell’s your pet killer?” she asked. “We could use him about now.”

“I expected them back today,” I said. “Tomorrow at the latest. Toby is out there too but I hope he saw what was happening and is with Cass and the others.”

“What if they aren’t coming back?”

“They are,” I said firmly. “I know Ryan and the others. They’ll be back.”

“I hope so,” she said. “We need help and if they don’t come back then we’d better get used to being that madman’s toys.”

As much as I wanted to curl up into a ball and wait for Ryan to come and rescue me, I couldn’t wait for that. If – God forbid – something had happened to them, then I was the only one who was left to protect my people.

Somewhere above us a woman began to scream. It took a few seconds for me to realise it was Amy. People around me shifted as the sounds roused them and nearby someone started quietly crying.

I could feel Becky’s eyes on the back of my neck.
That could be one of us soon
I thought and knew she was thinking the same.

“She’s being punished because none of you stood up,” someone said in the darkness. I thought the voice belonged to Lucas. “It’ll be worse tomorrow.”

A door closed and I could hear heavy steps on the stairs. He was going up to join his friends. I shuddered at what they were doing to the poor girl upstairs. The threat of what tomorrow would bring hung heavy over us all.

He was letting us know that tomorrow, if no one stood up then we would be responsible for what happened. I wasn’t sure I could stand by and watch someone hurt while I could stop it. I ached for Ryan to be with me, to hold me. I’d be safe with him.

That wasn’t possible though, I’d sent him away to what may well have been his death and doomed everyone here. If he’d been here, what would he have done?

I smiled as the answer to that came immediately. He wouldn’t have waited around, he’d have done something straight away. He’d have killed them all. He wasn’t here so it was up to me. I’d do what he’d taught me to do and kill them.

Chapter 23

Ryan