Burn (34 page)

When they arrived at Ash’s apartment building, she got out and thanked the driver. As she headed inside, the doorman, who was on the phone, put his hand over the receiver and called from across the lobby.

“Miss Carlysle, a package came for you while you were out. It’s on my desk. Shall I have it brought up to the apartment?”

Josie smiled. “No, that’s okay. It’s small, right? I’ll take it up with me.”

She’d ordered some new brushes and knew they were coming in today.

“It’s in the office. Give me just a sec and I’ll get it for you.”

“Oh no need,” she called. “Finish your call. I’ll just get it and bring it up with me.”

“Miss Carlysle!” he called after her.

She pushed inside the small office that housed deliveries and glanced at the desk where a small package was sitting. With a smile, she went over and tucked it underneath her arm. When she turned to go back out, her gaze caught on several covered paintings resting against the far wall.

She frowned because one of them wasn’t fully covered and it looked an awful lot like hers. But what would they be doing here of all places?

She hurried over, unrepentant about snooping. She pulled back the covering and gasped. They
were
her paintings!

chapter twenty-eight

Josie quickly rummaged through the others, her stomach knotting as she took in every single painting she’d sold in Mr. Downing’s art gallery.

What on earth?

She let the covering fall and stepped back, the knot in her stomach growing bigger. Oh no. No, no, no. It couldn’t be. He wouldn’t have.

But he had. The evidence was staring her right in the face.

“Miss Carlysle, please. You shouldn’t be in here,” the doorman said from the door.

“No, I don’t suppose I should,” she murmured.

She pushed past him, ignoring his calls for her to stop. What on earth could he possibly say?

She shoved into the elevator, tears stinging her eyes. How could he have done it? She felt like the biggest fool on earth. She’d never dreamed that Ash had been the one to buy all her paintings, but it shouldn’t have surprised her. He’d orchestrated every aspect of their relationship so far.

Desolation settled over her. She wasn’t successful. She wasn’t independent. Everything she had came from Ash. She was living off his money, in his apartment. Nothing had been bought with her money. Her earlier sensation of rightness, that she’d found her place in the world, was gone with the discovery of those paintings.

She swept out of the elevator so agitated she couldn’t even think straight. Her gaze settled on the boxes, most of which had already been unpacked. She walked right by them and sagged onto the couch, covering her face with her hands.

She was utterly humiliated. Every single time she’d excitedly exclaimed to Ash over the success of her work came back to her in waves of embarrassment. And he’d let her!

He’d lied to her, something she wouldn’t have imagined. No, he hadn’t come out and denied buying the paintings, but then she hadn’t asked. She’d never dreamed that he’d been behind it. His was a lie of omission. So huge, so monumental that she couldn’t even fathom.

What else had he kept from her?

Tears burned her eyelids but she refused to give in to them. She also refused to believe she was overreacting. This wasn’t something small. Her success had enabled her to say yes to Ash’s demands. She’d felt like she could agree because she felt capable of supporting herself. No way would she have gone blindly into a relationship with Ash with such a huge disparity between them. She’d been willing and able to submit because she’d been strong enough to come to him as an equal. Not that there’d ever been true equality between them, but her success as an artist, having money in her bank account and the means to support herself, had been very important to her and it had evened the odds between them. At least in her mind.

What she hadn’t realized was just how unequal things were between them.

She was living in his apartment. All the money in her bank account was his. Not hers. Oh God, he’d even paid her double. She should have questioned her good fortune. People didn’t just walk into an art gallery and magnanimously offer to pay more than asking price for art.

She was so stupid. Naïve. A complete and utter moron.

She’d actually believed that someone had been awed by her work. She’d believed she had real talent even though Mr. Downing had refused to display more of her art because it wasn’t selling. Now she knew the truth.

She closed her eyes, devastated by her discovery. She’d trusted him. Had kept no part of herself from him. And he’d shit all over that gift.

All his words about cherishing her gift, about protecting it and appreciating it, meant nothing. He’d made a gigantic fool of her. God, she’d even told the others about the sale of her artwork. She’d been so proud. So excited. Did they all know that Ash was her benefactor?

Ash apparently operated on a need-to-know basis. What else had he decided she didn’t need to know?

She picked her head up, grief welling in her chest until she couldn’t breathe. She sucked in ragged breaths, trying to assuage the burning in her chest. But nothing worked.

She loved him. She’d thought he loved her.

She rubbed at her temples, weariness assailing her. What was she supposed to do?

She glanced toward the boxes, anger replacing some of her devastation. The hell she’d just stay here and pretend that she didn’t know what he’d done. How could she? She was living a complete lie. And now she was faced with the knowledge that she wasn’t successful. There was no demand for her work. And she’d been lax with her jewelry design business ever since she’d moved in with Ash. She’d been too caught up in other things to design new pieces and put them up for sale. She’d been comforted by the knowledge that she was selling her artwork as fast as she could get it to the gallery and those pieces made her far more money than her jewelry did. Or at least they had.

Sucking in a deep breath, she forced herself to her feet. To action. It wouldn’t take long to repack her belongings. And really all she wanted was her art supplies and the clothing she’d brought with her. Everything else belonged to Ash. They were things he bought for her and she wouldn’t bring them with her.

Mechanically, she stuffed everything in the boxes, not taking the care she had when they’d been packed before. After thirty minutes, they were full, her overnight bag filled with her toiletries and her clothing. She stood surveying the room, knowing it would take several trips to get all the stuff to her apartment. Thank God she hadn’t terminated the lease and still had a place to live.

Squaring her shoulders, she pulled out her phone and Googled a local mover. After a phone call, and a hefty bill for a last-minute job, all she had to do was wait. Wait for the people who’d remove all traces of her presence in Ash’s apartment.

It hurt.
She
hurt. There wasn’t a part of her heart or soul that wasn’t sick. But how could she stay with a man who’d so blithely manipulate her? He might not have ever physically hurt her as Michael had, but right now Josie would take that kind of pain over the gut-wrenching agony she was experiencing over his deception.

An hour later, the movers arrived and began taking the boxes down in the elevator to the waiting truck. Josie remained in the apartment until the last box went down. She silently urged them to hurry. She wanted no chance of Ash coming home from work while she was still moving out. He hadn’t called yet, so she should have plenty of time.

By the time he made it home, she’d be back in her apartment. And this time, she wouldn’t be swayed by pretty words and hollow promises.

Damn him for making her love him. And damn him for pulling her into his world. She liked his friends. Loved Bethany and Mia and Brittany and all the others. But they were his friends. Loyal to him. She was accepted because of him. And now she’d have nothing at all.

It was on her way down that she realized two things. One, she didn’t have a ride to her apartment and Ash’s apartment wasn’t convenient to public transportation. She could take a cab, but she’d have to have the doorman call for one and it could take a while. Especially at this time of day when all the taxi drivers went off duty.

The other thing she realized was that she needed to confront Ash. She couldn’t just move out and hide in her apartment. Not that she owed him anything, but she didn’t want to go home, dreading the moment when he realized she was gone and the inevitable confrontation that would ensue. It would be better if she went to his office, said her piece and made it clear they were over. That way she wouldn’t have to worry about him showing up at her apartment.

For that, she would use Ash’s driver. After all, he’d have to pick up Ash from work anyway. A quick check of her watch told her the driver would likely still be here. If he wasn’t, she’d just take a cab to Ash’s building, even if it meant waiting. From his office, she’d just take the subway.

She rummaged for her phone in the big bag she’d thrown over her shoulder. After waving off the movers and providing the keys to her apartment so they could start unloading, she called Ash’s driver, who as luck would have it, was just a block away.

A few minutes later, she was on her way to Ash’s office building, silent tears trailing down her cheeks.

chapter twenty-nine

Ash leaned his head back against his chair, still holding the phone to his ear as the conference call droned on and on and on.

Christ, all he wanted was to get the fuck off the phone so he could head home to Josie. She’d had lunch with the girls today and he was looking forward to hearing about her day. Afterward he’d take her to dinner. Somewhere quiet and intimate. They’d talk some more and then he’d take her home and make love to her until they both dropped from exhaustion.

A knock sounded at his door and Eleanor stuck her head in. Ash frowned over the interruption, but then, if she’d poked her head in, it must be important. She was too efficient not to know he was on an important call.

Temporarily muting the call, he lowered the receiver and looked questioningly in Eleanor’s direction.

“Sorry, sir, I know you’re busy but Miss Carlysle is here to see you.”

It took him a moment to realize Miss Carlysle was in fact Josie. He straightened, ending the call without hesitation.

“Josie’s here?” he asked sharply. “Send her in immediately.”

Eleanor disappeared and Ash was already on his feet striding toward the door to meet Josie when she came in. Josie hadn’t been to his office before. Hell, he didn’t even remember if he’d told her where he worked.

A moment later, the door pushed open and Josie walked slowly in, her face pale, eyes swollen. Like she’d been fucking
crying
.

He was in front of her in seconds, pulling her into his arms. She went stiff and rigid and utterly unyielding.

“What’s wrong?” he demanded. “What’s upset you, Josie?”

She pried herself away from him and walked by, toward the middle of his office where she just stood, back turned, her spine stiff.

His gaze narrowed. “Josie?”

When she didn’t respond he reached for her, turning her to face him. What he saw in her face he didn’t like one bit. Dread gripped him by the balls as he took in her lifeless eyes.

Josie always shined. That was just her. She could light up a room just by walking into it. She sparkled, had a gorgeous smile and her eyes were always bright and sunny. Like every other part of her.

But not today. She looked worn. Sad. She looked devastated.

When she pulled away from him again, his lips came together in a tight line.

“Remember what I said, Josie. When you and I are talking and
especially
if you’re upset about something, we do not discuss it with a room between us. You’re pushing me away, and that is
not
an option.”

When he would have pulled her to him, she put both arms out, effectively blocking him.

“You don’t get an option,” she said tightly. “We’re over, Ash. I’ve moved my stuff back to my apartment.”

He couldn’t even control his reaction. Of the hundred different things she could have said, he would have never imagined her saying
this
. What the ever-loving fuck?

“The
hell
we’re over,” he bit out. “What the fuck is going on, Josie?”

“I saw the paintings,” she said hoarsely. “All of them.”

Fuck
.

He blew out his breath and ran a hand raggedly through his hair. “Not the way I wanted you to find out, baby.”

“No, I guess it wasn’t,” she said scornfully. “I don’t imagine you wanted me to find out at all.”

“You’re not moving out and calling it quits just because I didn’t tell you I was the one who bought your paintings.”

“Watch me,” she said in an icy tone that was just not her.

“Baby, you need to calm down and let me explain. We’ll talk this out and then we’ll move on. But I’m not having this goddamn conversation in my fucking office and I’m damn sure not having it with you four feet away from me and you building a fucking wall between us.”

“Calm down?” she demanded. “You lied to me, Ash. You
lied
. And I’m supposed to discuss and move on?”

“I never lied to you,” he bit out.

“Don’t give me that crap. You did lie and you know it. Moreover you made a gigantic fool out of me. All those times when I was so excited over selling those paintings. You let me talk about it with your friends. You let me feel like I’d done something great. That I was able to support myself. That I had money. Options. A future. God, you really did a number on me, Ash. And every single part of it is and was a
lie
.”

“Jesus,” he swore. “Josie that is not what I intended at all.”

She held up her hand. “Do you know why I didn’t argue with you about moving in? Why I let you talk me into it so easily? Because I felt like I could. Because I had options. Because I didn’t
need
you. But I
wanted
you. I thought I was self-sufficient. Able to be somewhat equal, although I’ll never have all the money you do. But it was important to me to be able to contribute something to our relationship. Even if it was just a sense of self. Me having confidence. I was on top of the world, Ash. Because I felt like for once I had everything. A career. You. Really great friends. And none of it,
none
of it was real!”