Burn My Soul Part 1 (5 page)

"Shadow? What kind of intruders leave a house intact, don't steal anything, don't hurt you, tell you how badly they want to make love to you, then apparently put you to bed, set the house alarm, and leave?" I whisper aloud.

He just looks at me, head cocked to the side and eyes that radiate such peace and contentment. He meows at me.

I find myself unburdening my soul to him about every single thing that's been bothering me. Bless his little heart, he just sits there patiently and listens to me ramble.

Before I know it, the day has passed into night. "Thank you Shadow. Thank you for listening to me patiently and for being here with me. I believe I have completely fallen in love with you." I say,  and rub my face in his fur as I hug him close.

"Well, it's time for bed..." I feel so peaceful for the first time in so very long. Talking, even if just to a cat really helps.

I set shadow down and leaving it up to him, if he wants to stay the night or wander outdoors. Instead of leaving he just sits and watches me. As I walk upstairs, he walks right beside me, bless his heart.

We walk straight into my master bedroom. It's the largest bedroom in my house and vastly resembles the room of an Egyptian queen. I've always been drawn to and fascinated by ancient Egypt, even as a small child. I know I will visit there one day.

My bed and its matching end tables are my favorite pieces. They have been personally hand crafted with such amazing craftsmanship out of cherry wood in Cairo, Egypt.

The sides of my end tables as well as the headboard and footboard on the bed all depict scenes of Ra-Amun's family. Ra-Amun was the God of all creation in ancient Egypt.

The bed itself is magnificent, and twice the size of a normal king sized bed. It sits so high off the floor that I'd hired a contractor to build cherry wood steps from the floor to the base of it, all the way around making it look natural.

Now, I only have to walk up the wooden steps to easily climb onto my bed, instead of making several attempts to climb into it. It's the only luxury I've splurged on.

Words can't explain why I had to have it. It was a soul deep need that can't be explained. For some reason, I feel more at peace in here, than in any other room of my home.

I stop at the foot of the bed and strip naked for bed. I laugh gently when I notice Shadow didn't jump on the bed but is sitting a bit away from me and has actually turned his head to the wall.

"Aw, you're quite the gentleman aren't you? So sweet, unique, and very beautiful. I wish you were forever mine." I whisper lovingly, then climb into bed and sigh. I know when he leaves me and doesn't come back, the loneliness will set in again.

Patting the bed next to me, I watch and smile as Shadow jumps up gracefully, turns in circles, and finally settles down on my pillow right next to my head. I turn and kiss the top of his head. Then, I fall into a deep sleep for the first time in what feels like forever listening to him purring.

Over the next couple of days, Shadow leaves in the mornings out the small cat door I'd put in my back door. Each day, I worry he won't come back and yet every night he does in time to have dinner with me and sleep with me through the night.

He's one special cat. He always licks my face repeatedly to wake up me during the night when my dreams become too intense or frightening. I wonder if he can sense them and is trying to protect me.

Senefru
is still actively in my dreams each night. For some reason they've turned into disturbing dark dreams of pain, despair, and my own death.

They're clearly not the fantasies and happy past life memories I wished for. Senefru's always on my mind, driving me crazy, making me think I see him everywhere around town. The hallucinations while welcome prove that I've gone over the cliff and straight into crazy town.

The hallucinations are always the same. I feel the burning in my back and when I turn to look, he's standing across the street from me, staring with an intense inferno of heat in his eyes. Yet, when I try to approach, he disappears.

They're distracting as hell. They prevent me from getting my work done on my newest bestselling novel. All day long I am plagued by a soul deep pull to him accompanied by intense sexual arousal. I feel each time he comes to mind. So much so, that I feel like a walking, talking, ticking time bomb. I'm grumpy as hell and more sexually frustrated than ever!

I swear if I ever see him in person I'm going to kick his exquisite ass for making me feel like a cat constantly in heat!

I make the decision to take my mind off of Senefru for awhile and head to the local new age store. Once there, I purchase a beautiful antique green Amazonite stone necklace. It called to me, if that makes any sense.

The lady owning the store tells me, "That stone is perfect for eliminating worries and fears. It's a soothing and calm stone, one that helps to communicate from the heart, bringing clarity of thought and a calming harmony in the soul. That piece came to me from an estate auction. It's very old. It came from ancient Egypt, or around that time period.

I knew right then and there, it was meant to be mine. So, I purchase it, along with some books on past life memories and dreams, and how to self-hypnotize yourself into past life regression that comes with a tape. I have to get to the bottom of the strong déjà vu I experience every time I think of him.

Urgh! There I go again thinking about him again! Will I never again have a moment of peace and calm where he's not in my thoughts?

I swear if these books, tape, and necklace, don't help me I'm going to find a past life regression shrink and find out exactly what my soul is trying to tell me.

FINALLY, IT'S FRIDAY I'm more than ready to go clubbing and just get completely snookered with alcohol. Anything that will help to take the constant throbbing and aching between my legs away!

"Jinny, wanna go shopping on Rodeo Drive to get some new outfits?" Madi asks as she walks right in my door this morning.

"God yes! Let's go!" I drag her out of my house and into her car, knowing she loves to drive. I laugh at the look of shock on her face at my eagerness to go shopping which is completely uncharacteristic for me.

I have a wonderful time shopping with Madi and then again at our favorite unhealthy burger joint called Burger In and Out on the strip.

"Thank you for today Madi. You have no idea just how much I needed it after the intruder incident on Monday."

"Incident? What incident? There was no incident hon. I'm like, totally starting to fear for your sanity, Jinny. You woke me up by the pool, brought me inside, thank you by the way for that. Then, we took a nap and that was it." Madi looks at me as if I've completely lost my mind which only leads me to doubt myself again. I say nothing in response, only smile and shrug my shoulders. I'm determined to forget about it until later.

Back at Madi's place, I still can't believe I actually let Madi pick out my outfit. Even if I do want to look like a sexy model for the night.

The outfit is way sexier than anything I've ever worn before while clubbing. I'm usually content clubbing in my favorite jeans and t-shirt.

In Madi's room, I hang up the garment bag, unzip it and take the dress and accessories out. I begin to have second thoughts. After all, this dress is going to show a great deal of skin.

My black Egyptian tribal bracelet tattoos upon my upper arms, and the large black Egyptian tattoo on my back runs from my neck down to just above my rear end are sure as day, going to show. My back has the symbols for the priestesses of the Order of Ra-Amun in ancient Egypt that I'd been shown in one of my Egyptian class lectures I took last year. For some reason, having them tattooed on me just felt right.

"Don't you dare, Jinny Anderson! I know that look.... you're not allowed to have any second thoughts, not tonight! You wanted to look like a sexy model for a night and so you shall.... whether you like it or not!" Madi scolds me as sternly as the kindergarten teacher I hated so much. She grabs the dress, puts it in the bathroom then, pushes me in the direction of the bathroom.

"Now, get your butt in there and change into that beautiful dress. We don't have long to get ready and there's no way you're going to let that Brazilian wax go to waste. Now scoot!" She orders like the queen she thinks she is.

Sighing, I take a moment to stare in the bathroom mirror over the sink.

"You
can
do this Jinny. It's time to move on, forget him, and get this sexual frustration out of your system once and for all."I try to give myself a pep talk. Instead the girl in the mirror looking back at me, gives me a look telling me I'm so full of crap.

I strip naked then put on my new black lacy thong panties as I give the dress a very suspicious look as if will bite me at any moment. Straightening my back,  determined, I grab it off the hanger and slide it over my head, smoothing it down over my body. I thank God for the somewhat built in side cups for my large heavy breasts. At least, I won't be showing everything there is to see in this sheer dress.

Once I have everything on and in its proper place, I turn to look at myself in the triple full length mirrors. My mouth falls open and my eyes grow wide. I feel naked as sin and yet, I can see with my own eyes just how beautiful and sexy I look. Madi had been right about this so being my dress!

I'm so not admitting that to her though. Her head might just pop if I help inflate her ego any more than it already is. I think and chuckle to myself.

I stand a moment longer and stare at myself, turning in a slow circle to see all sides of my beautiful black, sleek, and sexy dress. The spaghetti straps drape seductively over my bare shoulders. The stretchy fabric molds to my breasts and my curves showing them off surprisingly to perfection.

I'm afraid my heavy breasts will fall out of the deep v shaped cut at the front of the dress. It widely shows the sides of my breasts, and remains widely open until it narrows at the bottom of the v to just below my pierced belly button. It does show off my tan, tone, long and sleek body. The hem of the dress stops mid thigh. I'm thankful that at least my thong panties will not show.

The back of the dress is open in a u shape reaching down to just above my rear, and thankfully also covers the top of my thong panties.

Next, I carefully put on my silky soft pantyhose and garter belt on, glad they're so thin that no lines show. I love these pantyhose. The embroidered roses run up the back of my legs from heel to my upper thigh.

I turn away to brush my long multicolored waist length medium brown hair with its natural highlights of red and gold and decide to just leave it long and flowing down my back. My hair and my lavender colored eyes are the only two things I'm proud of on my body. I have a poor self image, yadda, yadda, yadda, I know you've heard it all before so I'll just leave it at that.

Some guys only utilize the brain between their legs. Which is exactly why I'm still a virgin. Is it so wrong to want a guy to fall in love with the whole package and not just my body? In case it's unclear, I'm speaking about the beauty in intelligence, presence, personality, and all the little things that guys I meet seem to overlook when they see my breasts or a warm body to sleep with.

Oh crap. Sorry. I'm getting off track again so, let's get back to it, shall we?

My decision to leave my long hair down and covering my back results from my dislike of people asking endless questions about my tats. They're personal and that's that.

Stepping into my new three inch black heels, I love the small amount of height it gives me. It makes my regular height of six feet not seem so short when you add three inches to it. It's just enough to boost the self confidence I'm going to need tonight while hoping against insane hope that he'll be there.

I take one last final look at myself. My waxed brows accentuate my lavender eyes, as I try to replicate Madi's come hither look and fail miserably. Nevertheless, I'll just be myself. At least that's enough to impress well, one magnificent specimen of eye candy.

I'm happy to just let Madi take the limelight tonight while I concentrate on getting snookered enough to build up the courage to lose my virginity to some stranger I'll never see again. In my mind that stranger is Senefru and no one but, his smoldering smoking hot body will do.

Lah lah lah! Stop thinking about him!
I quickly scold myself. Too late, the inferno of heated desire rages through my body once again. Damn, how to walk in heels and a revealing dress while keeping my thighs pressed tightly together is going to be my next dilemma if I can't get my mind off of him!

I head toward the bathroom door knowing Madi will come charging in here to drag me out, if I don't come out on my own accord.

As I enter her bedroom, I smirk and turn in a full circle just as she expects me to. My smirk quickly becomes a full blown smile when I see Madi's mouth drop to the floor, her having to pick it up again as her eyes grow wide as saucers.

"Holy shit girl! You look amazing and hot as hell! If I was a guy, you'd never make it out of my bedroom!" She exclaims and laughs then, gives me her famous, I knew I was right smirk.

I roll my eyes, unable to hold back my laughter any longer. Realizing I really miss this fun loving and carefree side of Madi. I only pray she stays this way throughout the night.

"Go and get dressed girl, it's your turn."

"Nope. It won't take me but a second. I want to finish your look before you try to escape. Come here Jinny, sit down and I'll do your makeup."

"Close your eyes and no peaking." Madi says as she walks me to the full length mirror in her room. When I mention it, she explains it's so I can get the full effect.

When I finally open my eyes, I can't help but stare at the beautiful, sexy, and desirable woman in the mirror. I don't recognize her at all.

The makeup doesn't take away from the look as I feared it might. Instead, it only enhances my eyes. At the moment, they look like a mixture of lavender and deep purple. Even I have to admit they look deeply exotic. It's amazing what a little makeup can do for a girl!