Burned (20 page)

“I’m not going to lie,” she said magnanimously. “It’s been a lot of work. But I know it’ll all be worth it in the end.”

I saw no point in arguing with that.

“When shall we come?”

I crinkled my nose in frustration. She wasn’t about to let this go. “You know, maybe this fall would be good.” Before she could argue that it was too far away, I rushed on. “You know how the real estate business is. It has to be super busy for you right now.”

“I would make it work,” she assured me.

“It’s busy for us too,” I said. “I would rather you come when I can spend some time with you.” It wasn’t exactly true but I knew it would make her happy.

“I suppose that does make sense. Don’t put me off too long, Lanna,” Mom warned.

“I won’t.” It wasn’t as if she’d let me.

“Are you still enjoying your job?” she asked as she went into involved-mother mode.

“Yes.”

“And you are still planning on getting your license this fall?”

“Yes. I’ve already registered for classes.”

“Excellent.” She hesitated a moment. When she spoke again her tone wasn’t nearly as chipper. “And that boy?”

“I assume you mean Jake. What about him?”

“And
I
assume you are still with him, given your suddenly snarky tone,” she said lightly. “Just be careful, Lanna.”

Was that condescension I heard? Or just concern. I shook my head, frustrated with myself because I didn’t trust my own judgment. My mother always left me feeling off kilter.

“I should go. I have a stop to make.” I was lying. She probably heard it in my voice but she didn’t call me out on it.

“Keep in touch, please. I’m not the only one that knows how to use a phone,” she scolded.

“I called you back, didn’t I?” There was that snark again. It had just slipped out without my meaning for it to.

“I’m just saying that once in a while, it would be nice if you called first.”

We said our goodbyes and disconnected.

I drove the rest of the way home in peace, though not in quiet. I cranked the radio. By the time I pulled up to the beach house I felt calm again. I had spent my morning break researching Jake’s dad. I hadn’t found a lot. But I thought maybe I’d found enough. Ziegler wasn’t a very common last name. I silently thanked Maggie for her slip-up. I had found a Robert Ziegler that resided in Grove City. That had to be him. I hoped. I had an address. Whether it was recent, I couldn’t be sure. Regardless, I would start there and do more research if necessary.

Max’s car was in the driveway when I got home.

I contemplated telling him what I was up to. I decided against it. He and Jake were friends. I didn’t want to tell him something that he might not want to keep from Jake.

Inside the beach house, I found Max in the kitchen. He had his back to me, earbuds in, and head bopping to the beat only he could hear.

I walked up to him and tossed an arm around his shoulders. He startled but quickly tugged out his earbud.

“Hey, how’s it going?”

“Good!” I said as the sideways hug turned into a real hug. A bear hug. The kind of bear hug where I rocked him from side to side like he always did to me. “Congratulations! Holly told me the news!”

He squeezed me back and laughed. “Yeah, thanks.”

My arms slid away and I took a step back.

He had the makings of a sandwich spread out in front of him. He picked up a tomato slice and tossed it on the pile of meat and cheese.

“I’m pretty happy,” Max said with a grin. “Never thought I could be this happy.”

“Well, you definitely deserve it. You’ve always been there for Holly. For all of us, really. I’m so happy that everything worked out for you.”

“Thanks to you,” Max said because I was the one that insisted Holly take the road trip with him. It ended up being a road trip that changed both of their lives. He shook his head. “Sometimes I still can’t believe everything turned out the way that it did. I feel like the luckiest guy in the world.”

“You got the girl.”

“I sure did,” he agreed. He shifted around, looking moderately uncomfortable. “Holly told me about Kyle. I hope that was okay.”

“Eh,” I said with a shrug. “I figured she would. It’s fine.”

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry that happened to you. I can’t believe,” he said with a scowl, “the audacity of some people.”

“I know.”

“You deserve someone great. I hope you find that with Jake.”

“Aw, Max. Thanks.”

“Anytime,” he said.

The house was an average looking house. It wasn’t huge, wasn’t fancy, but the lawn was mowed, the shrubs were trimmed. The paint looked fresh and the flowers in the flowerbeds were in full bloom.

I double checked the address. There was no doubt I was in the right place. Now that I was here, I was having a hard time getting out of the car. The second thoughts I’d begun having had me pinned in place.

What if the guy was an arrogant ass? What if he was just as bad as—or worse than—Frederic? What if he chased me out of here? Worse, what if he had a malicious attitude toward Jake? What then? I would be the first to admit that when it came to fathers I had an idealistic view of what they should be. What they should do.  What I would want my own father to be, if he were here.

It was hard to imagine my dad. The pictures I had of him were of a man with an outdated haircut and a scruffy beard. He had kind eyes and an engaging smile. It used to bother me that my coloring came from my mother. I used to feel cheated somehow, as if having my dad’s brown eyes would’ve made me feel closer to him.

It was silly, I knew. But sometimes it was hard to know how to feel about someone you never met. Especially when that someone provided half of your DNA.

What I wouldn’t give to have even five minutes with him. Just five freaking minutes.

That single thought was enough motivation for me to finally emerge from my car. Heart pounding, I crossed the street. My palms were sweaty and I scrubbed them on the front of my shorts. My spine tingled with anticipation. Worst case scenario, this would blow up in my face. He’d chase me from the house. He’d maybe toss out a few obscenities at me, curse me for interfering.

It was a chance I had to take.

Also? Better he take it out on me than Jake.

I climbed two low steps and then I was standing at the front door.

My finger pressed the bell. I could hear the chimes reverberating throughout the house. A few moments later I heard the subtle thud of footsteps approaching. I pulled in a breath, mentally crossed my fingers for good luck, and plastered on a friendly smile as the front door swung open.

When he opened the door, it was like I’d stepped into a time warp. I was sure this is what Jake would look like in another twenty years. Bobby was tall, carrying maybe just a bit of extra weight around the middle. His blond hair, with just a trace of graying, was trimmed and styled neatly. His tan skin was lightly marred by creases, especially around his eyes as he squinted at me in confusion.

“Can I help you?”

I cleared my throat. “Mr. Ziegler?” Asking was a formality. I had no doubt it was him.

“Yes?”

“My name is Lanna. I’m a friend of Jake’s.” His eyebrows arched as he waited for me to clarify. “Your son, Jake. I was wondering if you had a few minutes.”

“Is he all right?” His concern was immediate. “I was under the impression that everything was okay after the accident.”

“He’s fine.”

“Oh, all right. Come on in.” He led me into a small but cozy kitchen. Red and white checkered curtains and a matching tablecloth brightened up the room. The floor was white and clean, the countertops white and pristine. Though the room was rather bare, it looked cared for.

“Can I get you anything? Coffee? Water? A soda?”

“No, thank you.”

We both took a seat at the table and he gave me a questioning look. “If Jake’s not in trouble, what is this about?”

“I’m not entirely sure where to start. I didn’t know him at the time of the accident, but we’ve gotten really close this summer.” I took a breath and decided to dive right in. “I apologize if this is none of my business—which it probably isn’t—but I care about Jake a lot.”

“I’m happy to hear that. How has he been doing since his accident? Have there been any complications?”

I shook my head. “None that I’m aware of. He’s doing well. For the most part.”

“The most part?” he asked, his interest clearly piqued.

“To be honest, I think he’s struggling with what happened after the accident. I mean, how could he not be?”

Bobby shifted in his chair. A worry line appeared between his brows. “I thought you said he was doing okay after the accident.”

“Physically, yes. But the way Frederic treated him afterwards, Jake’s taking it hard. He’s been completely cut off from his family.”

Bobby cleared his throat as he tapped a finger against his coffee mug. “That is most unfortunate.” The tone of his voice was low, apologetic.

I stared at him a moment, a frown marring my face. “Unfortunate?”

He lifted his eyes to me. “It’s not a surprise, really. Frederic has never been a forgiving sort of person.”

“But Jake’s
your
son.” I paused a moment, letting the words sink in. Letting him know that I knew the truth. “Because of Frederic, he’s more or less lost contact with his mother and his siblings. I mean, sure, he talks to his sister every now and again. But it’s really not the same. He needs a parent figure in his life.”

Worry lines dug deeper between his brows, a matching pair bracketed his lips. “Why are you here, young lady?”

“I’m hoping to help you and Jake reconnect.” I held my gaze steady, my tone firm.

Something sparked behind his eyes. “Jake asked you to do that?”

I winced and shook my head. “He doesn’t know that I’m here.”

“I see.”

He pushed away from the table and headed to his coffeepot. It was not the reaction I’d been hoping for. I watched patiently as he refilled his cup. When he returned to the table he shook his head at me.

“I’ve wanted to reconnect with Jake since the day I realized he was mine. But he’s made it pretty clear since his accident that he wants nothing to do with me.” He sighed. “It’s not as if I can blame him.”

“What do you mean? How has he made it clear? It was my understanding that you and Jake have never actually spoken.”

“We haven’t. That’s my point,” Bobby said. “I had hoped that after the letter I left him, explaining everything, he would contact me. I gave him my address, phone number, hell I even gave him my e mail. I’ve never heard a word from him.”

“Wait.” I tilted my head to the side, trying to make sense of what he had said. “Letter?” Jake had never mentioned a letter. It was in that moment that I, for the first time, really began to question the audacity of my actions. I thought Jake and I were getting close. And we were. But really, how well did I know him? Was there more to this story than what he’d told me? It wasn’t like I could judge him for that. I’d held back a whole lot when it came to Kyle. Had he read a letter from Bobby and decided it wasn’t enough? Too little, too late?

Bobby nodded. “When he was in the hospital I left a letter with his nurse. I was only allowed in his room for a short time. He wasn’t even conscious. It wasn’t long before Frederic insisted that I leave. I wanted to stay. But I didn’t want to cause a scene. Frederic told me only family was allowed in the room. He threatened to call security if I didn’t leave.” He sighed. “I maybe would’ve fought him harder but I needed to pick up my girls. I have joint custody with my ex. She’d raise hell if I wasn’t there to get them on time. So I left.”

I nodded slowly as I mulled that over. Things began to click into place. “I don’t think Jake ever got that letter. In fact, I’m certain of it.” I let my mind catch up to the rest of his explanation. “You visited Jake? You were in his room?”

He nodded. “Of course I was.”

“Mr. Ziegler—”

“Bobby,” he corrected.

“Bobby, Jake doesn’t know any of this. He thinks you donated the blood out of a sense of obligation, and then hightailed it out of there.”

“Why would he think that? The nurse,” he shook his head, “dammit, I can’t remember her name. But she told me she would let him know that I hung around as long as I was allowed. She assured me that Jake would get the letter I left.”

“If I had to guess, I’d say that Frederic, or maybe even Deborah, intercepted the nurse.” As the seconds ticked by, I was more and more sure of that. “It sounds like something they would do.”

He held his cup in one hand, thoughtfully scratched his chin with the other. “I never really thought of that. I just assumed that Jake wasn’t interested in anything I had to say. I wouldn’t blame him for that. It was actually what I was expecting.”

That would explain why he never questioned not hearing from Jake.

“So this letter. Can I ask what you were hoping to gain from it?”

“I was hoping to explain myself.”

I nodded, not expecting him to go on. I was already overstepping. I knew this. All I had wanted was to let Jake’s dad know that Jake needed him. From there, I was willing to let him decide what he would do with that information.

“We were high school sweethearts, Deborah and me. But she went off to college, left me behind…found herself some guy who was loaded.” He sighed wearily. “She showed up at my doorstep one night. She and Frederic had hit a rough patch. I found out later they were working things out, when she refused to answer my phone calls. I didn’t know she ended up pregnant. In fact, she never told me. But I saw her a few years later. She had Jake with her. I knew he was mine. I mean, there was no doubt. He looked just like me. She convinced me that he was better off without me. I mean, at the time, I was working for barely more than minimum wage. That husband of hers was already head of his own company. I mean, hell, he inherited it from his daddy but still. He was able to give Jake everything I couldn’t.”

“I’m not so sure all of that matters much to Jake. The money I mean.” It didn’t now. But what did I know. Maybe it had at one point? Or maybe his mother had used it as an excuse, the only excuse she could contrive, to keep Bobby away.

“Maybe not. At the time, though? At the time I was broke. Could barely keep the electric bill paid up. Letting him live with his momma and that man, it was the hardest thing I ever did. The hardest, and at the time, I thought the most selfless.”

He gazed past me, lost in thought. I didn’t know what to say to him, but turned out, I didn’t need to say anything. He continued to speak, not waiting for me to respond.

“I’m ashamed to say I didn’t put much thought into being with her. All I knew was that I loved her first. I’d loved her the longest. If I’m going to be honest, I’ll have to admit that part of me was with her out of spite. I guess I saw it as a symbolic spit in the face of the man who stole her away from me.

“Deborah was always like that. The grass was always greener, the sun always brighter on the other side. She always wanted what she thought she couldn’t have.” He sighed. “But looks like all that wanting and wishing paid off for her. She has everything she always wanted.”

I wasn’t so sure about that. She didn’t have a happy marriage. Then again, maybe that was something she had never cared about in the first place. Maybe materialism trumped love.

“I think you should tell all of this to Jake,” I gently suggested.

He guffawed. “What do you think I put into that letter?”

“I see.” If either Deborah or Frederic had gotten their hands on that letter, it was no wonder that it never made it into Jake’s hands.

“I messed up. I know I did. And I know there’s no way to go back and change it. I missed out on so much. Watching my son grow up from a distance,” he shook his head sadly, “it just wasn’t enough. I went to his games. Was always afraid I’d run into Deborah and Frederic there. Was afraid she’d give me hell for hanging around. But I never saw them. Not once.”

I filed that bit of information away. If I had to guess, I’d say
they
never bothered to go to Jake’s games.

“I think Jake would really like to know that.
He has no idea that you’ve cared at all.”

He scoffed. “I think it’s too late for that. I’d guess that boy has already formed an opinion of me. And not a good one, either. Couldn’t blame him for that. What’s he supposed to think of a man who allowed someone else to raise him? What’s he supposed to think of a man who abandoned him without a word for his entire childhood?”

“You won’t know the answer to those questions unless you talk to him yourself,” I pointed out. “I think the sooner you do that, the better. I think it would make a huge difference if he heard your side of the story. As it stands, he thinks you abandoned him again in the hospital. I think it’s important—I think it would mean a lot to Jake—that he knows that you didn’t just walk away twice.”

He gazed at me with a critical eye. “You really think what I have to say would make a difference?”

“Positive,” I said with a decisive nod.

He sucked in a breath and shoved his chair back. “Let’s do this then.”

“Now?” Did he notice the high-pitched squeak in my voice? I meant soon. I did not mean right this very second.

He nodded. “Now. Before I lose my nerve.”

“Okay. Now it is.”

~*~*~

I paced up and down the sidewalk at the beach house. Bobby was seated on the deck. I asked him for a few minutes to speak with Jake alone. He hadn’t argued. When I called Jake and asked him to come over because I had something important to discuss, he had agreed immediately.