Burning Eden (8 page)

Chapter 24

I watched Carrie walk over to the kids and Jonni ran to her. She hugged him and picked him up and my guilt deepened. What the hell was I doing? What the hell would either of us do if someone found out? Maybe we should end this. Maybe it would be for the best I just wasn’t sure if I was strong enough to stay away from him.

I saw a look of apprehension on the kids’ face as Carrie approached. They probably thought they were going to get yelled at again for some reason. Once Carrie started talking I could see all the tension relax in their faces as they accepted her apology with smiles and nods. Maddie even hugged her which didn’t surprise me. Maddie was always more of a lover than a fighter. Unfortunately with the turn of recent events she had to learn to become a fighter. I suppose we all had to.

Although we were lucky, it seemed most of the biters (what the kids had nicknamed them) didn’t find their way onto the farm. I wasn’t sure if it was because of the huge lake close to the farm or if it was because the farm was so far away from everything. The nearest neighbor was miles away. Uncle Dave had said when things first went down he had checked on a few of them and they had either left or had been killed. He didn’t say any more than that but by the look on his face I was sure he had had to kill some of his neighbors.

I wondered if there were others out there somewhere like us. There had to be I hoped. Our little makeshift family couldn’t be the only ones left. What about the police, the army, the government? Someone had to be left; someone had to be trying to fix something somewhere, didn’t they? A few weeks back we heard helicopters flying nearby I guess that was a good sign, right?

I shook my head trying to clear away these thoughts and focus back on Carrie and the kids. Me having a panic attack and worrying about things in which I may never get an answer wasn’t going to help anyone.
As my focus came back I saw that Carrie had put Jonni down and was chatting it up with the kids, which was good. I didn’t want anyone to feel like they weren’t wanted or welcome here. It just wasn’t in my nature to behave that way.

I watched Jonni chasing a butterfly and wished Jesse had been there to see his son’s beautiful innocent smile as he ran around the yard trying to capture the butterfly. My smile quickly fell from my face and my heart felt like someone was trying to rip it out of my chest when I saw the butterfly fly over the fence and on the other side was a biter waiting in the bushes hoping that little Jonni would get close enough to grab.

I stood up immediately and the tea that had been sitting on my lap crashed onto the porch causing Carrie and the kids to look my way. I pointed towards where Jonni was headed and screamed one word: “Biter!”

I tried to make my feet move faster but it felt like my legs were stuck in quicksand. It felt like every step I took was taking minutes instead of seconds. I was kidding myself anyway I was too far away to get to Jonni in time. My mind kept playing over and over the scene of him getting bitten and the pain I would later see when Jesse found out
his son had been turned into a biter in front of all of us. He would never forgive any of us and honestly who could blame him?

As I put one concrete foot in front of the other I saw my screams had brought Cain, Uncle Dave, and Jesse out of the fields. I guess he would get to witness his young son’s demise after all. I tried to pick up my pace hoping maybe I could stop it from happening. Luckily my calling out had stopped Jonni in his
tracks out of fear but he was still awfully close to the fence. The kids couldn’t take a shot at the biter for fear of accidentally hitting Jonni.

Our only hope was that the kids or Carrie would get to Jonni in time. I saw Kairo in the lead and knew he would save Jonni. He loved him like his own little
brother; there was no way he would let him get hurt. My heart began to slow down when I saw that Kai was really close to Jonni but it seemed that everyone running towards Jonni spooked the little boy out because as we all got closer he began to slowly step backwards away from us and closer to the fence that the biter was at. I suppose everyone running toward you screaming their heads off with guns drawn did not make a child feel safe.

God damn butterfly I thought. How perfect for something so beautiful and innocent to end in so much tragedy. How very fitting for this world.

Kai finally got up to Jonni; he put his arms out to Jonni. Jonni slowly walked up to him clearly frightened and afraid for all the wrong reasons. The biter took the chance and pounced, Kai grabbed Jonni up with one arm but the other arm the biter had grabbed through the fence. I watched in horror as the biter bit into his skin. Kairo quickly pulled away from the biter and ran towards Carrie. Hannah stepped up and shot the biter squarely in the head as soon as Kairo and Jonni are out of the way. But it’s too late. That damn thing has just given my son a death sentence. Not Jesse’s son, my son. My son had just given his life for Jonni’s, my son. My son wouldn’t live to see another sunrise I thought as I fell to my knees watching him deposit Jonni safely in his mother’s arms. Our eyes met and tears spilled from my eyes. My son was dying. God damn butterfly.

Chapter 25

“Noooooo!” I heard Cain yell out as he realized that his son, our son, had very few minutes to live. He ran right past me and up to Kairo putting his huge arms around him. Tears were already streaming down his face. I couldn’t move, my heart had settled in the pit of my stomach and had busted into a million pieces. I knew I would never be ok again.

I felt someone tugging on my arm trying to force me to stand but I still couldn’t move. I couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe. Everything was a blur, a dream. I wanted to die with my son but I knew that wasn’t fair to Maddie. Oh my God, Maddie! I searched for her face and found my reflection there. Tears streaming down her face also on her knees in disbelief as Hannah tried to get her to her feet to comfort her.

I looked over to see who was tugging on my arm and to my surprise it was Jesse. I looked up into his eyes and saw nothing but sorrow there.

“I’m so sorry, Eden,” he said softly. He finally found a way to get me on my feet although my legs had a difficult time holding up the weight of my body. He pulled me tightly to him. I thought it probably wasn’t a good idea to be showing affection in front of everyone then suddenly thought fuck that, fuck everyone my son is dying. “I’m here for you, remember that.”

He let me go and went to be with his family. Yep, he was definitely there for me. His family was whole and my family stood before me about to be broken forever. I wonder if he was truly sorry or if those words were easily spoken
because his son would live. It was my son who had given his life for his son. I found myself questioning just how sorry he was.

I felt my feet again and ran to my son so I
could hold him in my arms one last time. I kissed his smooth tan cheeks and looked into his big brown eyes. To my surprise I did not see any sorrow there, no tears.

“I’m sorry, Kai
,” I sobbed.

“I’m not,” he answered.

“What?” I asked in shock.

“Better me than Jonni,” he said offering me a soft grin.

“But it’s not right, it shouldn’t be you,” I cried.

“Then who should it be, mom? Hannah? Maddie? You? It shouldn’t be anyone really. We didn’t ask for this but it is still happening whether we like it or not. There is one thing I am sorry for though.”

“What’s that?”

“That I have to say goodbye to you, mom. That I have to say goodbye to all of you. I sure am going to miss you guys but I’ll always be with you. Promise me that you’ll remember that, mom. When things get rough, rougher than they are right now, I’ll be there with you, mom. I’m always going to be right there with you,” he said as one tear slid down his face. I could hardly keep myself from breaking down completely but I knew I had to be strong in this moment for him. If he could be strong then so could I.

“I promise,” I said as I wiped the tear from his cheek.

“I love you, mom,” he said as he kissed my forehead.

“I love you too,” I said softly. He looked toward Cain and nodded his head. Then before any of us could stop him he put the gun to his head and pulled the trigger. I found myself once again falling to my knees, this time to cradle my fallen son in my arms listening to the wails of a woman’s voice that sounded much like my own.

Chapter 26

I have no idea how long I sat there with my son in my arms. Cain had found a place beside me and held onto Kairo’s hand softly as silent tears streamed down his face. Uncle Dave came over eventually lightly touching my shoulder. I looked up at him and he held in his arms a large quilt my mother and Aunt Peggy had been working on.

“To keep him warm,” he said gently. I simply nodded my head. I laid Kairo down on the grass and gave him one final kiss on his cheek then Uncle Dave covered him over. I glanced over at Cain and saw his sadness quickly turn to rage when his eyes met mine.

“I hope you’re happy now,” he said. His words were full of fire. He then got up and went stomping towards Jesse. I knew this
was going to get worse. I became very scared for Jesse and his family. I knew Cain blamed them for Kairo’s death as well as me. In a way I completely understood.

I was doubtful I would ever be able to forgive myself for this. If it wasn’t for me inviting them here perhaps Kai would still be with us.

I looked at my Uncle with pleading eyes and he took off after Cain immediately. He also knew this wasn’t going to go over very well. I told Kairo I loved him one last time then followed in the direction of Cain and Uncle Dave ready to leave one hell behind me and face the one ahead.

Cain was determined to get to Jesse no matter how much Dave tried to hold him back. Jesse must have seen the intense rage on Cain’s face because he quickly handed Jonni to Carrie and stepped in front of them in a protective stance. He put
his arms out in front of him trying to let Cain know he didn’t want to fight. As Cain got out of Dave’s hold and ran up on Jesse he tried to sincerely apologize for what had happened.

“I’m so sorry about Kairo, Cain,” he pleaded. Cain wasn’t hearing it though. Cain turned one big hand into an even more menacing looking fist and drew back. Jesse put his hands up protectively to his face knowing what was coming and being ready to take it. I screamed out.

“Cain!”

He turned around to look at me and Uncle Dave grabbed his arm refusing to let him go again.

“Let me go, Dave,” Cain yelled out.

“It won’t bring him back,”
Uncle Dave said intensely. He was still holding Cain’s big fist in his hand.

“You’re right, it won’t,” Cain said looking down at the ground. His face was full of hurt and shame. Uncle Dave slowly let go of Cain’s fist and I breathed a sigh of relief. We had already witnessed enough violence for one day. I turned to go to Maddie and glanced out the corner of my eye Cain bunch his fist up again and punch Jesse square in the jaw sending him sprawling to the ground. Dave put Cain in a bear hug and tried to pull Cain away from Jesse before he could do anymore damage. Jonni started crying again as Carrie ran over to Jesse’s side to help him to his feet and check his face.

“Aw isn’t that sweet, checking up on your man, Carrie?” Cain spat out. Carrie just looked at him like he was crazy. He was acting crazy but didn’t he have a right to? He had just lost his only son. I tried to make my feet move so I could go stand beside my husband, where I was needed, but I couldn’t move. I felt like something even worse was about to happen deep in my gut.

“Of course I’m looking out for my husband,” Carrie finally spoke. She didn’t sound like the confident Carrie we were all used to, she sounded unsure of herself and very frightened.

“Well, that’s certainly nice of you, Carrie. I’m sure Jesse appreciates it. I wonder if he appreciates it as much as he appreciates my wife,” Cain spewed. I suddenly felt sick to my stomach.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Carrie asked genuinely confused. Jesse and I knew exactly what Cain
was speaking of. Our eyes met and I was pretty sure we were wearing the same expression on our faces, guilt.

“Why don’t you ask Mr.
Lover boy there? Or maybe we should ask my loving wife? Hey Eden want to clue Carrie in over here?” Cain called out to me. Carrie looked over at me inquisitively but I had nothing to offer. I looked away from her as tears again began to spill down my cheeks. “Fine, no one wants to talk, I’ll spill it. You see sweet little Carrie my wife and your husband have been having an affair right under our noses. Isn’t that right, Edie?” he said sweetly but the evil smirk told his true feelings. I found the strength to move my feet again but instead of running in the direction of my husband I ran away. All I wanted to do in that moment was to hide from everyone and everything.

Chapter 27

I found myself up in the loft of the barn where Jesse and I had spent so many nights. I held my head in my hands. I couldn’t stop crying. It was one thing when I felt like no one had a clue about Jesse and I but now that everyone knew I was terribly ashamed. I never wanted to show my face again.

I had hurt so many people with this. I had ruined lives, broke hearts, and fucked up families. What had I been thinking? What had we been thinking? Did we ever really believe we would end up together? Had he ever meant any of the things he had said? What if it had all been lies?

I couldn’t shut my brain up. I had lost my son because I had been a fool. I had asked people that I really didn’t know to come stay here. I couldn’t stop my tears from falling. I had been so selfish, only worried about my feelings, only worried about what I wanted. And because of that I had lost my family, worse than that I had lost my son.

I suddenly heard someone’s footsteps but I didn’t have the strength to actually lift my head and look to see who it was.

“Go away, Jesse. Go fix things with your wife.”

“Jesse’s gone, Edie. In fact they’re all gone. They packed up their SUV and took off shortly after you ran into the barn,” Cain said softly. I gathered the strength to look up at his face what I saw there shocked me, it was kindness. My heart broke all over again.

“I’m so sorry, Cain,” I said. More tears streamed down my face. I had been an idiot. I had believed in some stranger I didn’t really know over someone that had been there for me for years. I had tried to build a fairytale when I already had a decent man and awesome family. I had just become fixated on the flaws and had given myself way too easy to a man that had played upon my weaknesses. He had told me everything he knew I wanted to hear and I bought it. Where was he now that the truth had come out? He was running scared, so scared he had left a place of safety to go out into a diseased filled world. He wasn’t worried about what he had left
behind; he wasn’t worried about me at all.

It had all been a lie and I had got sucked right in. I would never forgive myself for being so naïve. Cain came and sat beside me picking up one of my hands and placing it inside his. I looked over at him and saw the tears in his eyes. If they spilled over I knew I would never be able to piece my heart back together again. I had hurt my best friend and for what? A romp in the hay? I was happy Jesse was gone; I never realized how much of a coward he was. Now that I had seen his true colors I realized everything I really wanted had been right here all along.

“It’s ok, Edie. I know I haven’t been the best husband and provider I could’ve been so I understand you wanting to stray as much as that hurts me. But I do really love you,” he spoke softly and I had no words. I just fell into his forgiving arms and wept until I passed out.