Burning Eden (7 page)

Chapter 21

I listened for the deep heavy breaths signifying that Cain was in a deep sleep.
I knew once his slight snoring was deep and slow chances of him waking up were slim to none. I opened my eyes slowly and looked toward the small battery powered digital clock on the small nightstand beside the bed. I saw the red numbers of 2:07. I hoped Jesse had made it to the barn safely and without being seen by anyone. My heart began to pick up speed at the thought of once again being in his arms.

I tried to calm myself by taking a deep breath in and then releasing it slowly. I had to be cautious, if I went bumbling around in the dark like a love sick teenager without a care in the world I could put my safety at risk. Who knew if any of those things were out there lurking around in the dark?

I quietly lifted Cain’s arm off me and gently set it down on the bed beside me rubbing it softly while I listened for the even patterns of his snoring. After a few minutes I got out of bed, put on my black nightie and satin slippers, and then pulled my hair up into a bun. Hurriedly I brushed my teeth as silently as I could by using a bottle of water instead of running water in the small RV bathroom. I grabbed a small flashlight and turned it on pointing it away from where Cain was sleeping to make sure the batteries were working. I then grabbed a knife just in case I ran into any of those things and silently left the RV.

I knew someone would be keeping watch from the large screened in porch so I crept around the back of the house. When I got to the other side of the porch I scrunched down and ran as fast as I could staying close to the fence. I stayed hunched over by the fence until I knew I was a good distance from the house. I
followed the fence until I saw the looming figure of darkness in the night knowing that was the barn which smelled of hay and manure.

I turned the small flashlight on then not wishing to step in that wonderful smell. I hurried over to the barn doors as not to be seen and
hastily made my way inside. I kept my flashlight shining towards the floor of the barn as to not disturb the sleeping animals making my way to the step ladder of the loft. Once I reached the ladder I looked up into the empty dark space of the huge loft and suddenly became frightened. What if Jesse wasn’t able to make it? What if there was something else waiting for me up there? Part of me wanted to turn back and go find comfort in Cain’s arms but another part of me knew I had to go up into that loft if I knew I would be able to feel Jesse again.

I placed the small flashlight in between my teeth and carefully began to climb
. Once at the top I took a few steps and started shining the flashlight around hoping I would find Jesse there waiting for me. I saw nothing but a large maze of hay. The loft went back quite far and there were all kinds of places for anything to be hiding. My heart started pounding again but not in anticipation of being with Jesse, out of fear. I took a few more steps into the huge loft.

“Jesse,” I whispered into the cool night air hoping he would answer. He did not but I did hear some sort of rustling on my right towards a huge stack of hay that went all the way up to the roof of the barn. Probably just a mouse I tried to tell myself as I shown the flashlight in that direction seeing nothing. I quickly walked past it heading deeper into the maze of hay. I suddenly felt someone come up behind me as one arm grabbed me around my waist tightly while the
other arm came towards my face putting a hand over my mouth stifling the scream I was about to let out.

“Shh, it’s just me,” said a smooth voice in my ear sending tingles throughout my body. He slowly let go of my mouth.

“Jesse,” I whispered again already knowing it to be him.

“Yes, love,” he said as he grabbed my hand and began pulling me toward one of the corners in the back of the barn. “I want to show you something.”

“Ok,” I gasped trying to control myself which was extremely hard when I was alone with him. He led me to the corner where the hay was piled up to the roof on two sides making it look like a secret room of hay. It had a small opening in between the two stacks making a perfect place to hide away from the world for a while. He led me inside and it was pitch black except for the small beam of my flashlight which he took from my hand and switched it off leaving us standing there surrounded in darkness. I then felt him gently take the knife from my other hand. I let him; I knew I was safe with him.

I waited. Wanting him to touch me, for us to finally be together the way we had desired for so long. I held my breath while I heard him moving around in the darkness. I thought I might die if he didn’t take me in his arms soon but before I could utter his name a soft light filled the makeshift hay room. As my eyes adjusted to what seemed like the glow of candle light I realized that it was not candles casting this warm glow but it was several jars of fireflies set all around the hay room. Jesse gently laid the blanket that must have been covering the jars of fireflies into the middle of the hay room.

“I wanted to be able to see you,” he said smiling shyly. “Do you like it?”

“I love it, it’s beautiful,” I said softly. I finally found my breath which he instantly took away again by coming up to me and wrapping me up in his arms.

“You’re beautiful,” he once again whispered in my ear.

Chapter 22

“I want you, Jesse. I can’t wait any longer,” I gasped. I really couldn’t wait any longer.
If I had to I was afraid I might spontaneously combust. Every fiber of my being needed this man. I know what I was doing was so wrong, cheating on my husband with a married man but in this moment I didn’t care, my body craved his. As I heard him whisper my name I knew he was feeling the exact same way. He pulled back to look deeply in my eyes and I felt like I could get lost in them forever.

“I love you Eden,” he said and I felt my knees weaken and I grabbed onto him tighter for fear of falling.

“I love you,” I said. I had no greater words I simply had to show him. I grabbed his face in my hands and kissed him deeply with so much passion I thought maybe we would set the barn on fire. He picked me up and gently laid me down on the blanket while still kissing me. He only stopped kissing me for a second to help me pull off my nightie and to slide his pajama bottoms off.

When he slowly entered me I almost came instantly. He felt so good, so right, we fit together perfectly. Even though I knew he wanted me as much as I wanted him he made love to me nice and slow making sure I had several orgasms before he let himself become fully immersed in the pleasure. When he finally began riding me fast and hard holding me tightly against him I couldn’t help but sink my nails deep into his back. He called out my name as we came together looking deeply in
each other’s eyes. We stayed entwined that way for quite a while neither one of us able to speak. We didn’t need any words anyway. Eventually he came to lie beside me holding me tightly against him, stroking my hair and kissing my neck sweetly.

“You’re amazing, my love,” he spoke softly sending goose bumps to rise all over my flesh. “Aww, you’re cold.”

“Oh no those aren’t from the temperature,” I joked and he chuckled lightly.

I smiled and closed my eyes briefly letting myself relax and taking in this wonderful moment.

“Eden…Eden wake up,” I heard a voice say in the distance. Calling me out of my delightful slumber and honestly if this was all just a dream I didn’t want to wake up. “Eden, my love, you have to wake up it’s almost dawn,” he said as he covered my face with kisses coaxing me out of the darkness with his love. I opened my eyes to meet his and my heart instantly started to pound.

“Jesse,” I smiled.

“Yes, baby. I’m still here,” he said. He pulled me even closer to him. Now I never wanted to get up I thought closing my eyes again. “Oh no no no my little sleepy head, it’s time for you to get up and head back to the RV before Cain gets up for the day.”

At the mention of Cain’s name I instantly sat up and began searching our secret hideaway for my slippers and nightie. He quietly handed me my things and then quickly pulled on his pajama bottoms and slipped on his sandals as he smirked at me.

“Thanks,” I said. I got dressed and felt a sudden emptiness settle over me because I was no longer in his arms. He must have felt it to because he grabbed me up and held me against him kissing the top of my head.

“Oh, Eden. My beautiful, Eden. There are no words that I can say to express how I feel for you.”

“I feel the same,” I said snuggling closer to his chest so I could breathe in his scent one last time knowing we would be saying good bye soon.

“Say you’ll meet me here again, please. I need you.”

“I will, I promise.”

“When?” he begged. I knew what he was feeling, the need for us to be together constantly but having the knowledge that that was impossible and we had to be careful.

“Let’s give it a couple of days and then meet here around the same time,” I said. I pulled away from him so I could smile up into his eyes. “Just do me a favor, ok?”

“Anything for you, my dear,” he said quickly kissing me.

“Don’t sneak up behind me anymore. One day you’re going to get seriously hurt doing that shit.”

Chapter 23

And so it went. For a few weeks every few days Jesse and I would sneak off in the middle of the night to enjoy each other.
Our moments together were special and passionate even though they were wrong. Sometimes what is wrong and what is right often becomes blurred when dealing with matters of the heart.

Around the others we tried to keep our distance. It still ate me up inside to see him with Carrie. I often wondered if he felt the same way when he saw Cain and I together. I figured probably not because Cain wasn’t the most affectionate person. I guess I should have felt guilty but when something feels that right I just couldn’t. Unless I saw him with Jonni and then I felt terrible.

Part of it was because I never wanted to break a family apart and part of it was because I knew he and I could never really be together. Jesse would never leave Jonni; he just wasn’t that kind of person. He wanted to be there to see Jonni grow up every day not only on weekends. Hell, with the state of the world none of us really knew if things would ever go back to normal so we better hold on to those around us while we could, especially our children. I knew deep down we would never be, all we had was the barn and our daydreams to get us by. Funny thing is that seemed to be enough.

We’d lock eyes for a second and I could see the want there without a word, then one of us would nod our head slightly and look away. We both knew what the other was thinking and we knew we would be in each other’s arms again later that night.

I sat on the porch watching the kids play with Jonni. Kairo was trying to get Wiley, our German shepherd, to let Jonni take a ride on his back. Wiley wasn’t having it though. Carrie came and sat down beside me and I immediately felt uncomfortable. Jesse was out with Dave and Cain helping with the farm so I had no idea what she would want with me. Most of the time Carrie kept to herself and did her share of chores without speaking much. Ever since her big blow up with the kids she had really been keeping her distance.

I didn’t really mind, I never had intentions of becoming best friends with her but I would be civil, for Jesse. She sat in silence for a bit like me watching the kids play with Jonni. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her smile. That was good.

I was hoping she wouldn’t get all pissy thinking that Jonni might get hurt. Kai would never let that happen of course but I didn’t need her blowing up on him again. I don’t think I would be able to bite my tongue a second time.

“He really loves him, you know?” she finally spoke up.

“I do,” I said. I thought she was talking about Jesse and Jonni. “He’s a wonderful father. You’re a very lucky woman.”

“I was talking about Kairo and how much Jonni looks up to him. Live with Jesse for ten years and then tell me how lucky I am.”

“Oh, right. Well I think Kai loves him just as much,” I quickly recover. I planned on ignoring her snide remark about Jesse. Living with anyone for ten years could cause that kind of attitude.

“I’m really sorry about yelling at him the way I did. I was just so worried about Jonni. I guess I was overcome with emotions. Jesse and Jonni are all I have, I
don’t want to lose them,” she said softly. Then I felt guilt but I tried to hide it the best I could.

“I completely understand. It’s a mom thing. Apology accepted,” I said smiling slightly at her.

“Thanks,” she said returning the smile.

“Have you apologized to him?” I asked not liking how bitchy I sounded so I quickly added “it would probably mean a lot to him he kind of thinks you hate him.”

“I don’t hate him, he’s a good kid. They all are. I don’t hate anyone,” she said. She looked down at the ground; I guess it was her turn to feel guilty. “I think I’ll go apologize to all of them then.”

“I think they would really appreciate that,” I said. She stood up and began walking toward them before she got to the porch stairs she turned back around towards me.

“Thank you for letting us stay here and keeping my son safe,” she said. The pang of guilt instantly returned and settled itself deep in my stomach.