Burnout (9 page)

Zach and I were headed down the hall when I saw Phyllis Hamilton coming from the other side. She was carrying a large cardboard sign that had the words "Bake Sale" written on it.

"Betsy, how nice to see you. I was so sorry to hear about Rocky. Terribly sad. But, maybe now we'll have a paper that showcases our children instead of a bar fight at Bubba's Beer and Bait."

How did she find a way to mourn Rocky and insult him all in one sentence?

"Yes, we were all shocked about what happened. Leo and I were at home when we got the call.  Where were you?" I kind of hoped she think of it as a 'where were you when the towers fell' type thing.

"Me? Oh, that was a big Bunco night for me. I had six tipsy ladies at my house. So, are you here to help with the bake sale?"

"Not today, but I will be on the job for the Harvest Dance."

Phyllis's bottom line thinned. "Oh yes. You're the mother, uh step-mother of our...king this year. I of course, have the entire menu planned out. I will be bringing my signature 'Harvest Balls', and I need you to make four batches of pumpkin squares. Do you have that recipe on hand?"

"Uh, no. Don't think I do."

"No problem. I'll email it to you." Her gaze shifted from me to Zach. This was awkward to be sure. Zach scowled at her.

"Hello Zachary are you feeling ill today? I heard you were out with the flu. It certainly is going around."

Zach mumbled an unintelligible phrase. It was either I'm fine or I like hippos. Phyllis waited for Zach to say something else, but he continued to look down.

"We all have our days now don't we." She said including her perfect self in our crisis.

I tried to draw our conversation to an end. "Yes, yes we do. It's so nice seeing you again Phyllis."  She wasn't having any of it.

"So you're checking Zach out early today?"

"I got sent home." Zach's voice was now as clear as a bell, and he came out with the one thing I didn't want to share with Phyllis Hamlin, head of the PTA. She placed her hand on her pearls and drew in a breath sharply.

"Really?" Her gaze went from Zach to me, judgment dripping off of her.

"Young man, we all have to follow the rules now don't we?" I was desperate to get out of the building. I grabbed Zach and propelled him towards the door.

"Good seeing you, Phyllis." We were out of there.

As we were riding home we sat in an awkward silence. I tried to start a conversation. "What's going on?"

"I don't know."

"I'm trying to understand why you were just sent home for smoking. I'm going to need a little more information than that."

Zach and I had always been best buddies, but now we didn't seem to have anything to say to one another. What happened to my sweet little boy? When did he slip out the door and this surly pre-teen sneak in to replace him? I felt overwhelmed by everything that was happening.  It was just too much. 

     In the middle of my anxiety, a different and unexpectedly positive thought started to creep in. Of course, that was it. Zach had a father in the house now. I could get help with this issue. I wasn't alone in all of this.  Leo must be doing something right with Tyler because he was doing incredibly well in his new town, school and life even. A good transition like that could only mean that he is the product of good parenting. Zach was a little more sensitive, and so change was tougher on him. Whatever it was that Leo did with Tyler he could also do with Zach. I felt a little better as my confidence surged thinking of how I could deal with this problem. I reached over and speed-dialed Leo. He should have been finishing up his work in the television station by now and on his way to his other job at the regional weather center. After four rings he finally picked up.

"Leo. I'm so glad I reached you."

"Is there something wrong?"

"Kind of. I just got called by Zach's school. He and another boy were sent home for smoking."

I waited for Leo's response. How would he handle this? Whatever it was I was prepared for action.

"Wow, Betsy that's awful. What are you going to do?"

What was I going to do? Didn't he mean what was he going to do or maybe even what are we going to do?

"I kind of hoped you could take over on this one." I waited another 10 seconds, but still there were no words of great parenting expertise coming at me from the other side of the phone conversation.

"Betsy, I hate to cut you off like this, but I have to run inside. I'm late already. I absolutely promise you we will talk about this when I get home."

"What time will that be?" I asked.

"I have a few hours worth of work here and then I need to stop back by NUTV for a ... meeting."

"A late meeting?". My mind drifted to Jeanette Burress. Would she be at this meeting?

"Betsy are you still there?"

"Yes I'm here. I guess I'll see you after that then." My last words had just a touch of acid. It reminded me of the bile that was rising up in my stomach. I was being taken over by a feeling of doom and gloom. Was history repeating itself? The last time I felt like this my first husband chose not to be around. Had I really done something this stupid? Had I searched all over the state of Texas to find a man who would turn out to be just like Barry?

****

When Leo did get home I was laying on the couch watching a reality television show in which a handsome man was offering a rose and pledging his love to a drop-dead gorgeous woman in a gold trimmed evening gown.  It was all so perfect and not anywhere even close to reality.

"Did you speak to Zach?"  He asked as he snuggled next to me on the couch.

"A little, but I was waiting for you."

"For me?"

"Yes. I was hoping you could speak with him man-to-man."

His lips curved into a smile.  "Did you want me to use my gruff voice too?"

I playfully hit him. "You know what I mean."

He sighed, "Sure. I get it.  Let's go upstairs and talk to him."

We headed upstairs to Zach's room where we found him lying on his bed tossing a baseball up in the air and catching it.  He didn't look up when we entered.  After a few seconds passed and Zach didn't stop his pitch and catch, Leo began to speak.

"Zach, what you did today was wrong.  This kind of behavior may seem exciting ..."

Zach interrupted. "I never said it was exciting." 

Leo was trying, but Zach just wasn't responding to anything.

"Okay, you never said it was exciting, but smoking is a terrible habit."

He countered.  "Don't you think I know that?"

This whole parenting moment seemed to be going from bad to worse.  How come Tyler snapped to everything Leo said and Zach was just the opposite?

"I'm glad you know about the dangers of smoking.  That being said I think we're done here.  Right, Betsy?"  He turned to me for some kind of positive acknowledgment.  I just wasn't feeling it.

I turned to Zach and placed my hand on his shoulder trying to gently turn him towards me.

"Zach, don't ever, I mean ever do anything like this again.  Do you hear me?"

He gazed into my eyes for just a minute, and I think I saw traces of something close to shame.

His voice barely broke above a whisper. "Yes. I hear you."

"Fine, then."  Leo chimed in.  "Glad we all had this little talk.

Later just as Leo was about to fall asleep I couldn't help myself. 

"Leo, do you think what we told Zach will help?"

"Huh?  I hope so."

"It's just that there's so much going on right now with the fire and Tyler.  Then there's this whole flu thing.  It's really been distracting me.  Maybe that's why he's acting out."

"Could be... It's hard to have your mind in more than one place at once. I'm exhausted.  Let's go to sleep."  He said.

He was right.  Keeping up with the boys, Leo, my job, and finding out what happened to Rocky was all consuming.  Could I handle one more thing pulling me another direction?  I might have to. 

The next morning as Leo was in the shower the phone rang.

"Is Leo there?" Said a soft sultry voice that I now recognized as Jeanette Burress.

"Yes he is, but he can't come to the phone right now. Can I take a message?" I said trying to act like I didn't know who it was.

"You certainly can. This is Jeanette from the television station. We just wanted to make sure we had Leo for one more day. We know it's a lot to ask of you and your little family.  Right now, with Hal being out, we really can't do without Leo."

She went on and on about Leo's ability as if I'd never seen the man point to a map.

"Anyway we would really appreciate it if you could give us just one more day down here at NUTV. I shouldn't be saying this, but we took a little audience poll and nine out of ten of our viewers preferred Leo over Hal. I'm afraid Mr. Hal is getting a little old and our folks just love Leo. Do you think he would ever consider taking on this job full-time?"

"That's very nice of you to ask, but he already has a job, Miss Burress." I looked up as Leo was coming out of the shower. He whispered "Who is that?" I mouthed "Jeanette Burress".

"Here he is now" I said as I flung the phone at him.

"Good morning Jeanette." He paused as Jeanette repeated her question to him. He picked up his watch off the counter and put it on while glancing at the time.

"I hope you've been checking in on Hal so he'll be back to work soon. It's kind of rough working two jobs you know, but I suppose I could schedule out a few more days if it needs to happen." He paused as he listened to her response. Leo hung up quickly and ran to his closet. He was no longer quite so picky about what he should wear as the novelty of being on television was wearing off.

"She really loves your working there."

"No, she's just looking for someone to fill in for Hal."

"Why don't they just run a typed version of the local weather across the bottom like the weather channel does?"

"Then they would have to acknowledge that they are just a podunk cable access channel and not a major cable network." Leo said.

"I actually thought this was a good thing when you started filling in for Hal."

"Jeanette was just saying to me last night how they wanted to build a whole new set so that it would reflect on my more photographic side. Isn't that hilarious?"

I didn't know if I was more concerned that his late-night meeting last night was with Jeanette, and he wasn't even bothering to hide it, or if the television station was making long-term plans to keep my husband at two jobs. "Did you tell her not to bother?" I asked.

Leo stalled for a minute making my heart race. It was just a temporary thing. He couldn't be thinking about keeping this job could he? He had to be out of his mind. He was already gone too many hours in a day.

"It has been kind of fun. I guess I never had this much on-air time. I've always been the guy with the thick glasses, sitting behind a computer screen, telling people about coastal fronts and air surges, but now people recognize me. I think I understand why you enjoy being the Happy Hinter. I suppose this kind of makes us the only celebrity couple in Pecan Bayou."

"I'm glad it's only temporary." I said trying to ignore would he just said. I had parenting issues creeping in at me from all sides, and he was talking about his career on camera. "We need you. The boys need you. I need you." Leo came behind me putting his hands over mine that I hadn't realized were resting on my midsection. He kissed the back of my neck making me shiver.

"I know you do, and this will be over soon. I promise." He let go making our moment way too short, grabbing his shirt from the bed he started buttoning it up. "You think this will be a better day for Zach?"

"I hope so. Zach really has never had a father in the picture. My dad has been there for us, but it's not the same thing as having a father in the house all the time."

"I know what you mean."

I bent down to pick up Leo's shirt from last night.  He had missed the hamper.  As I started to stuff it into the wicker laundry basket the scent of stale perfume drifted up.  If I wasn't so secure in our relationship I would be jealous right now. I felt a wave of nausea running through me again. As his back was turned to me, I ran into the bathroom and shut the door behind me. A few minutes later Leo knocked softly. "Betsy? I'm going to head out now.  Good luck with Zach today."

I waited for the sound of the front door to close. Once I heard that click, I lowered my head into my hands and started a long overdue cry.

An hour later the boys were up and eating breakfast.

"Mom, I promise I'm not going to hang out with Skittles today." We exchanged glances.

He held up his hand. "I promise."

"Besides, he usually doesn't show up two days in a row." Tyler added.

With that thin reassurance I put the boys on the bus and vowed to go about my day not fearing the next phone call from the principal.

Trying not to think about the possibility of my son hanging out with a kid named "Skittles", I decided to go back to Rocky's files. I was looking at what Rocky had on Edgar West when I saw his appointment with the pet of the week lady. This was the lady who found me crying in my car yesterday. I had to cut these unplanned crying jags out. I remembered her name was Pearly. Maybe Rocky had something on her like he did the tax guy. It could be the reason for her hatred of him. I did a quick search and found an old article that he had bookmarked with the title "pet lady". It seemed that Pearly had been involved in a puppy mill arrest 10 years ago in Pennsylvania.

It was pretty unbelievable that the self-appointed patron Saint of dogs and cats used to raise Shitzus in inhumane conditions to sell  to pet stores. No wonder she hadn't been sorry to see him go. Now I wanted to know where she was on the night of Rocky's fire. Did she have an alibi? I would have to make a stop by the animal shelter later in the day.

I was running out of places to look in Rocky's files if there was anyone else who might know about his last days.  I had been lucky to find out what I did on Pearly Schroeder.  Who else could I ask?

I remembered a pleasant retired lady who would come in to file classified ads in his dented filing cabinet. She had always smiled and waved at me, but then went right back to work. I searched my brain for her name, but nothing came. Maybe Aunt Maggie knew her name. I hadn't seen her in a few months, but remembered Rocky saying she had been coming in to help lately. If she had been in the office in the last days before the fire, then she might know something. I picked up some fresh chicken soup at Birdies and headed over to her house.

*****

"We're doing fine, Betsy, but it was real sweet of you to come by," Aunt Maggie said.

Both she and Danny lay on the couch with a collection of comic books spread out across the coffee table. He was happily downing a popsicle.

"You don't look fine. I actually came over to ask you if you remember the name of the lady who used to come in and help Rocky at the newspaper." I asked.

Aunt Maggie sat back and crossed her arms. "Let me think. There were a few older women who helped out at the newspaper.  You know that.  Probably the one who was in there the most was Eula Jean Smith. We didn't really talk all that much, but sometimes I would see her over at Ruby's.  Of course it's pretty hard to have a conversation when your head's under a dryer."

"Smith? Really?"

"Oh come on, Betsy. There aren't that many Smiths in the phone book. Why are you asking about her?"

"Because Rocky had someone scheduled to help with the filing around the time of the fire."

"That changes things. Let me think a little harder." She looked over at Danny. His eyes were glued to the cartoons on television. "Danny do you remember Mrs. Smith down at the newspaper?"

"Who?"

"Mrs. Smith. She had gray hair and would've been working behind the counter with Mr. Rocky."

"Mrs. Smith. I remember Mrs. Smith. Strawberry gum. She had strawberry gum." If I could only look her up in the phone book under strawberry gum I would have it made.

"When did she give you strawberry gum at the newspaper office?" I asked.

"Not at the newspaper, at the center."

Danny was referring to the community center where he had his group meetings and gatherings for the disabled adults in town. I began to wonder if maybe Rocky hired her off of the job board they provided for Danny and his friends. Mrs. Smith didn't seem to have an outward disability, but things like that weren't always obvious.

"Could you check and see if Rocky advertises on the job board?" I asked Aunt Maggie.

"I can do you one better. They put the board notices in his newsletter." She went over to her desk in the next room and came back with a folded up piece of paper.

"I can't see anything from last month, and I've thrown out all the old newsletters. I do know that if he did have a job listed in here Danny would have wanted to work for him."

At least I knew where I needed to check next. I had an old friend from high school who worked down at the community center, and if Mrs. Smith spent any time there, she would know.

*****

"Oh yes, we love Mrs. Smith around here." Stephanie Gallegos told me an hour later. Stephanie ran several programs in the center including services for seniors, disabled adults, and an after-school tutoring program. The community center had been ineffective for many years, and we were blessed with her when she came back from college with a degree in social work. She brought our little center back to life.

"Does she have a set schedule here?"

"No, but she almost always comes to bingo on Fridays."

I didn't know if I can wait. "Would you have her phone number anywhere?"

"Now Betsy, you know that would be an invasion of her privacy." Stephanie said.

"I know, but ..." I brought my voice level down to a whisper. "I think she might have been scheduled to work over at the newspaper right before it was burned to the ground. I need to ask her a few questions."

Stephanie smiled. "So you're doing some detective work just like your dad, huh? Do you have your junior detective badge on right now or do you just carry it in your purse?" Stephanie's sense of humor hadn't changed much since high school.

"Come on Stephanie, think of it as being for Rocky. I know he did lots of free ads for this place."

"He did." She pursed her lips then looked both ways. She drew closer to my ear. "I won't give you her number, but I know for a fact she never misses going to Earl's every morning at around 10:30 for a mid-morning coffee. That good enough for you?"

"That ought to do it."

*****

Catching up with Mrs. Smith would have to be tomorrow morning, so I decided to stop by the animal shelter and ask Pearly Schroeder about her past as a puppy mill criminal. As I swung open the door of the small one story frame building a noxious odor reached my nose. Why did it seem like that even the cleanest facilities had that smell? It was a mixture of wet dogs, urine, and something else that I couldn't even describe. I felt myself growing nauseous. Pearly sat behind a tall counter shuffling papers. She shared the small cluttered space with a man with a noticeable overbite who sat eating pork rinds. His hair was thinning on top just slightly, and when he smiled, his chubby cheeks reminded me of a tiny chipmunk. Pearly looked up and a sense of recognition came over her features.

"You're the Happy Hinter! So nice to see you again. Let me introduce my husband, Reggie." Reggie was looking at a picture of downtown Pecan Bayou when she pushed him forward by the elbow. He extended his hand and nodded.

"Wow. That's a recent picture. I can see the turkey in Ruby's window."

"It's live." He beamed. "We get 5 to 10 hits an hour on Earthcam. Seems people want to know what small town life is like in the middle-of-nowhere Texas."

"That's a live webcam of downtown? And anyone can access it?"

"Sure. I can track who's watching it and everything. We have regular visitors from all over the world. Ain't the Internet great?"

"Excuse me for asking, but why would you want a live feed of our downtown area?"

"That's our extra layer of surveillance for protecting our animal friends. This town is too cheap to hire a dog catcher, so if there are any strays wandering around, Reggie here sees them on the camera and we run out and pick 'em up. We even record the feed at night so we can see what kind of varmints are roaming around, and then we can scout them during the day."

I knew it was for a good cause, but it really bothered me to think somebody in another country was sitting in front of their computer eating a sandwich watching us go about our day to day lives.

"I hope you're feeling better today? Maybe you've decided to adopt one of our little friends? This is just wonderful. Having a pet can reduce or even eliminate mild depression."

I had to bet that very few people got away from her without a dog or cat.

"Come on now." She looped her arm around mine.

"No, Mrs. Schroeder. I just wanted to ask you a few questions. I was going through some of Rocky's research and found he had some notes about you." Ignoring me, Pearly Schroeder yanked me into a large back room full of cages. I was overwhelmed by loud barking and pungent odor. I needed to get out of there.

"I'm not here to adopt..." I pinched my nostrils together with my fingers making my last words come out tinny. "...a pet." Pearly turned around abruptly and pulled me back out into the fresh, quiet air of the front office. For that I was grateful.

"How could you be going through Rocky's notes if everything burned down in the fire?"

"Rocky saved his files on a cloud." I could tell she had no idea what I was talking about.

Reggie explained for me. "You know. He backed up his files in a data storage system online."

"Oh."

"I found a record of your criminal charges." The man behind her started looking confused at my statement. Pearly turned to him quickly.

"Reggie do you think you could go into the back so we can check on little Snowball? She may be having those kittens any time now. Could you just make sure that she's comfortable enough?"

"But, she said ..."  Pearly didn't waver in her command.

"Sure, Pearly."

He still looked confused, but obediently he headed for the swinging door causing a fresh surge of odor to waft my way. I stepped back a bit and put my hand over my mouth and nose. Pearly noticed my action.

"Sorry about the stink. It seems like no amount of Mr. Clean can take that away. I don't even smell it anymore. Now what was it Rocky had on me?"

"What do you think he had in his notes?"

She countered." I asked first so that means you have to tell me."

" You were indicted on charges of running a puppy mill from your home before you came here to Pecan Bayou. Did Rocky talk to you about this?"

She folded her arms on the counter and looked past me out the window. "You know something like that can follow you for the rest of your life. Remember that Betsy. There are some bells that just can't be unwrung. You need to take that advice to heart, dear."

"Is it true?"

"Yes it is true. That was a very bad time in my life, and I made some serious mistakes. It was from that experience I was molded into the person that I am today. What I did was wrong, and I learned and even grew from that. That was why I had to move here. No one would trust me anywhere near an animal, and I couldn't live like that. Animals are my life. They are the purest form of love. That's why I've dedicated the rest of my life not in raising puppies for sale, but in saving them. I'm paying my penance in creating just a little nicer place for them. I figure if all they say about karma is true, I have a lot of work to do to turn things around."

Reggie stuck his head out the door. "Hey hon? Where are the puppy pee pads?"

"See what I mean?" She said.

Pearly certainly seemed sincere if not a little overboard. I still didn't know if I trusted her though or even if her husband Reggie was really checking on Snowball in the back room.

"Maybe Rocky made a mistake about you, Pearly." She looked redeemed by my statement. She started to relax.

"Whatever Rocky dug up on me, I guess he was just doing his job."

I nodded and started to leave, but as I was about to go out the door I turned around. "Just one more thing, where were you on the night of the fire?"

Pearly Sloan tensed up again. "I was here." She said slowly and deliberately as if I was a small child.

"Alone?" I asked.

"Reggie was with me. He'll vouch for me. We were here until late cleaning up puppy poop. We had a sick puppy. I'll bet I could find some of the poop for you in case you want to have it analyzed."

Just the thought of her bringing up a bag of decayed dog feces was about to send me over the edge. I covered my mouth again and headed out the door. I could hear the faint sound of a high-pitched laugh reminding me of the Wicked Witch of the West as I got into my car.  I put the key in and looked up and noticed there was a piece of paper folded underneath my windshield wiper. I looked back over through the window of the animal shelter and could see that Pearly was no longer at the front desk. I stepped out of the car and grabbed the paper and unfolded it.

My hand shook as I read the scrawled message.

"You are not safe. Don't play with matches."