Business Affairs (13 page)

“Am I welcome?”

His unsure words brought a fragile smile to her face. “Always.” As the father of her baby, he would eternally be welcome in her home.

Alex walked inside. He waited for her to close the door, then took her hand. “I'd like to talk to you, if you'll let me.”

On shaky legs, Jennifer led him into the kitchen. She couldn't bear to go into the same room where they'd quarreled, where she'd admitted that she'd deceived him. “Can I get you something to drink?” she asked, her voice wavering.

“No. Thank you.” He pulled a chair out from the table.

She stared at him, her eyes questioning why he was here.

“Please sit down.”

Her heart hammering, she complied. She knew a moment of relief when she saw remorse in his beautiful blue eyes.

Alex pulled out a chair and sat. “Jennifer, I told you before I'm no good at relationships. Hell, I've never even been in one that lasted longer than a few months.”

He didn't want her. How could he after what she'd done? A fist squeezed her heart as she braced herself for what he was about to say. “I know, Alex. I've always known how you felt about commitment. I didn't do this to trap you.”

“The word ‘commitment' terrifies me,” he admitted. “I don't even know that I have what it takes to be a father.”

Wide-eyed, she stared at him with disbelief. “You don't want the baby.” Crushed, she held back a sob with a hand to her lips.

“No. No, that's not what I'm saying,” he said quickly to alleviate the fear growing in her eyes. His gaze gentled. “I'm scared to death of being a father. My parents were poor examples of what it took to make a marriage work. I just want you to know that I may not be the best father in the world, but I'm willing to try.”

At least he wanted the baby. Relieved, a sigh escaped her lips. “I think you'll be a wonderful father.”

That surprised Alex. His lips curved into a slight smile. “Really?”

“You were so sweet when you took care of me. And you're gentle and caring.”

“I haven't been very caring today,” he admitted. “I'll work hard at getting better at it. That's a promise that I intend to keep.”

“What?” Stunned, her gaze searched his.

“Earlier, you asked me to forgive you, but it's
your
forgiveness that
I
need.”

She slowly shook her head. “I don't think I understand.”

“After I left here, I did a lot of thinking. Finding out you were carrying my baby really threw me. I wasn't thinking rationally. When I began to calm down, I realized I had no right to be angry with you.”

“Oh, yes, Alex, you do.” Her throat constricted even more. “I shouldn't have deceived you when we made love in Vermont.”

Alex touched her hand, caressed it with his thumb. “Let me ask you something. You said when we were making love you had second thoughts. Did you?”

“Not about sleeping with you. But I knew I couldn't use you to father a child. I knew I had to tell you the truth.” She touched his face, then withdrew her hand. “I started to, but then—”

“I kissed you,” he finished for her. “I knew you were pulling away from me. I wanted you so much. I felt your hesitation, but I didn't give you a chance to back out. I'm as guilty as you are.” He paused, his gaze searching hers for an understanding he didn't deserve. “Jennifer, since we're being truthful, you need to know that I made love with you without any intention of ever having a relationship with you.”

Jennifer considered that. “I think I knew that you didn't love me, but I'd been in love with you for so long, I didn't care. That doesn't excuse what I did.”

His heart warmed at her admission. “All of the years we worked together, I kept my hands off of you because I knew once I made love to you, it wouldn't be easy to walk away from you. And I didn't want to hurt you. I
was scared to death of commitment. I didn't have anything to offer you. Not touching you was the only way I could keep my feelings for you under control.”

She blinked back tears. “I asked you to agree to a brief affair because I didn't want to pressure you. I thought I could be happy having you for an intimate weekend, then I'd be able to go back to our business relationship. When we came back, I realized I couldn't. I still wanted you.”

“You had me fooled,” he admitted. “You acted as if you didn't care for me, as if making love with me meant nothing to you.”

She smiled. “Because that was our agreement. Then I realized I couldn't work with you and not have you. So I gave you my resignation.”

“When I read it, I couldn't believe you could just walk away from me.”

“I didn't want you to know about the baby. I didn't want you to feel obligated to me.”

“I don't, sweetheart. I love you.” At her hesitant expression he continued, “I do. I love you with all my heart. I love that you're carrying our baby.”

“Really?” she asked on a breathless whisper.

“And I brought you an early birthday present.”

That brought a smile to her lips. “You did?”

Alex slipped out of his chair and dropped to one knee. He reached into his pocket and withdrew a small, black box. Lifting the lid, he showed its contents to her. “You're the woman who has taught me to find strength in families. I've accepted my past and I'm ready to face the future with a family of my own. Without you, my life would be empty. I need you, Jennifer. I love you. Will you marry me?”

Jennifer's gaze took in the sparkling diamond as
Alex withdrew it and held it out to her. She couldn't believe it. He was asking her to marry him. “Oh, Alex, are you sure you want to do this?”

“I'm sure. I love you. I want to love you for the rest of my life. I want to have this baby and even a houseful of children with you. A family.”

A tear fell down her cheek. “Oh, Alex, I love you so much.”

Her words made his heart swell. “Then say yes, sweetheart. Give me a lifetime to show you how much I love you.”

She held out her hand. “Yes. Yes. A thousand times, yes!” Her spine tingled with pleasure as he slipped the ring on her finger.

Alex stood and drew her into his arms, settling her against him. He kissed her, letting his lips linger against hers, then stepped back. “Happy birthday, sweetheart. I love you.”

“And I love you.” She breathed a sigh of pleasure as she kissed him again. “I never meant to deceive you. Really, I didn't.”

“I know.” He believed her because he knew her heart. She was loving and caring, and she'd been willing to give up her career because of him. He felt a pang of guilt. She'd told him once that her career meant a lot to her. He didn't want her to think that because she was carrying their baby, she'd have to give up everything she'd worked for when it was born. “I know how much your job means to you. I'll be with you now to help you. Somehow we'll work it out.”

“Oh, Alex.” She grinned. “That's another area we need to get straightened out.”

“What do you mean?” he asked, enclosing her in his arms.

She touched his lips with her finger, her gaze sliding up to his face. “I know I said my career was important, but I said it because I needed an excuse to keep you at arm's length when we came home from Vermont. I knew if you touched me, I wouldn't be able to trust myself not to get involved with you.”

He laughed. “You're lucky you did. Because all I could think about was making love to you. I wanted you any way I could have you. I would have promised you anything.”

She smiled into his eyes. “Then promise me that you'll accept my resignation.”

“You really don't want to continue working?”

“I'm not saying that I won't want to work later, but I want to enjoy raising our child. Is that all right with you? I mean, you'll have to hire someone to take my place.”

“No one could ever take your place,” he whispered, then tightened his arms around her. “I can live without you at work as long as I have you to come home to.”

“And you will,” she whispered. She touched her mouth to his, then leaned away. “Always and forever.”

He dipped his head and took her mouth in a lingering kiss, and Jennifer's heart felt as if it would burst.

With Alex's love, she had more than she'd ever believed possible. And she would have her own baby to love and adore—a family she'd always dreamed of. Whereas before she'd looked at turning thirty with dismay, she now had a reason to cherish each and every birthday in the future.

Considering how Alex had surprised her this year, she couldn't wait to see what he had in store for her when she turned thirty-one!