BWWM: BEFORE I WAKE: A Bad Boy Billionaire Book Collection (African American Interracial Series) (379 page)

KIARA

              I drove away from the youth center looking at the handsome, well-dressed man still sitting on the steps in my rearview mirror. I realized that my hands were shaking. Something about him had really gotten to me.

              I work in a hospital. I work with doctors and nurses and I see EMT’s and firefighters and cops on a daily basis. It’s not like I live in a bubble where I’m never exposed to handsome men…but there was something different about Rose McShannon’s son…Patrick. Pat.

              He’s gorgeous in a rugged but well-dressed kind of way. His eyes were dark blue? green?…the darkest and most unique shade I’d ever seen and the stubble on his chin was just beginning to show.  His jawline was wide and strong and when he smiled, he had one dimple on the right side of his face.  His dark hair is trimmed tight on the sides, but the top looked like someone had dragged their big fingers through it.

              It was more than the fact that he was gorgeous though. I’m sure in that neighborhood the half a million dollar car must have belonged to him, and he was wearing a suit that probably cost a couple thousand bucks…but he had such an easy way about him.

              He seemed so at home sitting on the steps chatting with a seven year old boy. The first thing I’d usually think, right or wrong, was a man that looked like that and had money to boot was probably an arrogant ass. Patrick seemed totally the opposite of that and I think that’s what got my attention.

              Oh jeez! What the hell is wrong with me
?
I’ve gotten good at shutting down the guys at work…why was I even giving this guy a second thought? He’s rich, gorgeous and not wearing a wedding ring. That probably tells me all I need to know.

              Some men were trouble with a capital “T” and I was more aware of that than most. Kalen’s father was all the proof I needed. In case I ever needed a reminder, he managed to act like an ass each and every time he comes to see his son.

I was young when Damien and I got together. He’s a really attractive guy…but what I was also attracted to back then was the fact that there was something so edgy and cool about him. It’s true what they say about girls liking bad boys, unfortunately.

I learned my lesson the day that it smacked me upside the head…literally. I’d found out that Damien was running stolen goods and drugs for one of the biggest pushers in the city who also happened to be his best friend’s brother. I tried talking to him about it…having a rational conversation…but that went way south…way fast. I thought back to that day now as we drove. Damien came home around dinner time and I was in the kitchen. He walked in and grabbed hold of my ass and squeezed it.

“Hey there hot mama, where’s the kid?”

I kind of laughed, not wanting to piss him off before I even talked to him. I hated when he called his son “the kid.”

“He’s with Angie and Rick.” I saw the change on his face as soon as I said Rick’s name. It was suddenly apparent to me why he tried so hard to discourage my friendship with Angie. Angie and I had been friends since grade school. Rick was her new husband. He was a police officer… definitely someone Damien probably didn’t want to spend too much time around.

“What’s he doing over there?”

“Angie wanted to see him and I thought you and I needed some time to talk.”

He forgot about Rick then and stepped into me. He pulled me up hard against him and brought his lips down. I let him kiss me and then I playfully pushed against his chest. “I said talk.”

He reached out and tweaked one of my nipples through my shirt. I flinched. “Come on in the bedroom with me baby girl, I’ll teach you some body language.”

“Damien, I’m serious. We need to talk.” I tried to sound cheerful.

He sighed. “About what?”

“I heard something today that I’m really sick over… I just… I need you to tell me it’s not true.”

He dropped down into a chair and looked up at me, bored with the conversation already. “What is it? Has Angie been trying to tell you I’m messing around on you again? I already told you baby…”

“No Damien. This has nothing to do with Angie. I was at work today and this kid was brought in. He overdosed on heroin. He’s only fifteen and they don’t know if he’s going to make it or not. His mother was hysterical and I kept thinking about our baby and how horrible that would be…”

He looked completely disinterested and actually reached forward and tried to run his hand between my thighs. I was nauseated suddenly as I took a step back.

With an annoyed look he said, “What does this have to do with you and me? Our kid is what? Three? Four? I don’t think he has money to buy drugs…”

“Stop it, Damien! Stop making jokes. I heard the kid’s brother tell his mom that he got the drugs from a guy named Damien…”

He jumped up out of his chair. For the first time since I’d known him, the look on his face frightened me.

              “There are a lot of guys named Damien in the city K! Why the fuck would you assume that it’s me?!”

I had to swallow the lump in my throat as I said, “He told her the guy drives a classic mustang…black, with red racing stripes…and that the guy works for Manny Acosta. Your car…your best friend’s brother…your name…”

That was the first time he hit me. I wasn’t expecting it…I learned since then how to brace myself, but back then I was completely oblivious to physical abuse.

His hand came up so fast that I didn’t see it. It caught me on the right side of my face and my body flew back into the stove. I was in shock and trying to stay on my feet. I was dazed and confused, but when he leaned over me, I cringed.

“I didn’t want to do that,” he said, “But you need to know when to mind your own fucking business woman.”

With bleeding lips I said, “That kid…. Damien…he’s going to go to the police…”

“Let’s hope the one who overdosed dies and his brother is smart enough to keep his mouth shut…and so are you…”

As Kalen and I drove up in front of our little house in East Boston I looked at his sweet face and wondered for the thousandth time if I’d done the right thing…never turning his father in. I didn’t want Kalen to be one of those kids who grew up without knowing his father…and I definitely wasn’t going to let him be one of those kids who only visited Daddy in jail.

I never turned Damien in. The teenager was transferred from my unit, so I never knew if he ended up living or dying…but the police never came for Damien.

From that point on whenever he got angry at me, he didn’t hold back. It took me several months to work up the nerve to take Kalen and go. I had to draw the line somewhere and I couldn’t have my son believing that what he saw his father do to me was okay.

Damien tried threatening me into coming back. It was six months or so of absolute hell, but I stuck to my guns. I guess it got to be too much work for him and he finally allowed Kalen and me to settle into a pretty routine life. The only time it gets shaken up is when he comes to visit his son…and that’s not too often anymore. I learned my lesson though…no more men, at least for now.

Kalen and I had dinner and I helped him with his homework before his bath and story time. When I finally laid down in my own bed, my body felt beat and my feet were throbbing. I set my alarm so that I could start all over again tomorrow.

Patrick was looking at me adoringly. I looked down at myself…I was naked. I cupped one of my full breasts in my hand and offered it to him. He smiled and leaned in closer to me. I watched as his tongue slide out and licked across my hard nipple. He moved his head across me and licked the other one. I shuddered and put my hand on the back of his head, wrapping my fingers up in his soft black hair. He took the hint. He sucked my entire breast into his mouth and held it there while he ran his tongue back and forth across the nipple. I had my back arched into him and I pushed his head in harder. He reached up with his hand and used two fingers to twist and pull on the other one and then I felt his teeth graze across the one in his mouth.

“Oh Patrick, that’s so good baby.” I felt him smile against my flesh as he continued to suck….

“Kiara…you’re so beautiful…”

The screeching of the alarm woke me up. I was tangled in the sheets. They were soaked and stuck annoyingly to my damp skin
.
What was I dreaming about?

I untangled myself and tried to sit up. I realized my t-shirt was pushed up around my neck and my breasts were hanging loose. Then my mind went back to that dream…Patrick
…
Fuc
k!
What the hell is happening to me
?

PATRICK

              I spent the week “accidentally” bumping into Kiara. I’m not sure if she noticed how I conveniently happened to be there every time she shows up to pick up her son or not…but she never seems disappointed to see me. I know I’m ridiculous. I should just ask her out already…but anytime I’ve gotten anywhere near doing that, she gets skittish and takes off.

Besides, I really do enjoy spending time with Kalen. He cracks me up and seeing the world through a kid’s eyes has a way of making everything seem brand new. It makes it hard to be anything but happy.

“Kiara’s a nice lady, don’t you think, Ma?” My mother was setting up for the Halloween dance. I was here to help her…and Kiara. Kiara volunteered to be a parent helper…thus, so did I.

My mother looked like she was trying not to laugh at me. She had a little smirk on her face as she said, “Yes son, she’s a really nice lady.”

“What are you smiling about?”

“I’m not smiling.” She stifled a laugh.

“Uh huh, yes you are. I just think she’s nice, that’s all.”

“Oh, so you didn’t notice that she’s also beautiful?”

I shrugged, “Well, I might have. Sure.”

Mom shook her head at me with a sideways glance. “Why don’t you ask her out?”

“Who says I want to go out with her?” I didn’t sound convincing.

“Then don’t ask her out, I don’t care.” She shrugged and turned to reach for the Twizzlers.

“Ma, if I wanted to ask her out, I would, okay?”

“I’m sure you would son.” She nodded but I saw the smirk.

“I would. I’d march right up to her and say…”

“PAT!” I jolted as Kalen ran in with his hand up. I tried to ignore my mom’s laugh and gave him a high five.

Kalen beamed up at me. “Are you staying for the show?!”

“I wouldn’t miss it. I heard something about a dancing Ninja Turtle. They say it’s not to be missed.”

He giggled and waved his hands like a hula girl. “I’ve got moves!”

I laughed. “I’ll just bet you do. Where’s your mom?”

He was already running out the glass doors to the patio to play with the other kids. “She’s getting stuff out of the car!”

“Go help her Pat,” My pushy mother told me with a wink. I rolled my eyes but I picked up my step and went out.

I found Kiara struggling to pull gigantic bags full of candy and snacks out of the trunk of the car. Every time I saw her my heart skipped a beat
.
Geez McShannon. Get a grip. But I can’t!

“Hi.”

“Hey,” she said with a shy smile and my chest bloomed. “How are you, Pat?”

“I’m great. Let me get those...”

“Yes, please.” I took two of the bags from her hands. Our fingers brushed together and a shot of electricity raced up my arm.

Once she was no longer struggling with the bags, I realized that she was wearing a pair of jeans that fit her like a glove and a white blouse that hugged her waist and breasts. Her hair was down across her shoulders and I had a sudden, almost uncontrollable desire to rake my fingers through it. I’d never seen it down and I’d never seen her in anything but her scrubs. I’d been right about her curves! The dreams that had me waking up with my hard dick in my hand every morning this week, had been accurate
.
Fuck yes!

“You look beautiful, but where’s your costume?”

She bent to pick up another bag and slammed the trunk shut. “I’m coming as an exhausted single mom,” she told me with a smile as we climbed the stairs.

“I hate to tell you this, but it’s not working for you.”

“It’s not?” She feigned shock. It was cute.

“Nope,” I said, pulling the door open. “Nothing about you looks exhausted. You’re the freshest, prettiest single mom I’ve ever seen.” Her face flushed.

“That’s sweet, thank you.” She went over to the setup area and put the bags down. I hung back for the view…until my mother walked by and elbowed me.

I gave her a look and went over to set mine down next to hers. “So, you’re helping me set up for the pageant too?” She looked amused.

“Yes, sure. I had a slow week at the office so you know...” She grinned and I suspected she knew I was here to see her. That’s okay though…it gives me the opening I need to finally ask her out.

“Well then, we should get started.” While we set up chairs for the parents coming to see the pageant, Kiara and I both glanced out the window at Kalen playing with the other boys.

“He really likes you,” she said.

“That’s good. I really like him too. Can I ask…where’s his father?”

She sighed. “He’s…around. When Kalen was about four, I found out his father was peddling drugs. When I confronted him about it, he uhm.. became abusive….”

“He hit you?” Just the thought of it made me sick to my stomach and sent rage surging through my veins.

“Yeah, every time he got angry for the next few months. He would always apologize afterwards, and sometimes he’d even cry. By that time I had no sympathy left inside of me for him. I was just done. I was only biding my time until I could leave.” Her eyes looked distant and sad.

“You didn’t call the police?”

“No.” She made a face like she was worried what I would think of that.

“I just kept thinking that it wouldn’t be right to take Kalen’s father completely out of his life.”

I tried to keep my face neutral. It wasn’t my place to tell her what she should have done where her son was concerned. Besides, in my case I’d be the pot calling the kettle black. For years I could have turned my father in and I didn’t.

“My father was a big-time drug trafficker…”

She smiled sadly. “Yes, Rose told me about him. I’m sorry. That must have been hard on you.”

I shrugged, more nonchalantly about it than I felt. “It was. He’s where he needs to be now. You did the right thing, not letting Kalen grow up seeing the kinds of things that….”

“That you saw?” she looked sympathetic and I appreciated it…but I didn’t want to talk about my father.

“Yeah,” I said simply. “Were you and Kalen’s father married?”

“No, thank goodness. We had talked about it…before he lost his damn mind.” She grinned at me when she said that. My heart raced every single time she smiled.

“I had this wedding all planned in my head. I wanted a small one, under my grandfather’s big oak tree in Virginia. His house is where I have a lot of my fondest memories. That never happened though, and now I can say it was a good thing.”

My chest ached for her shattered dreams and I thought again about what kind of monster would raise a hand to her. Without thinking I reached up with the back of my hand and stroked her cheek. She flinched like she was afraid. It pissed me off…not at her, but at the fact she had to be afraid, of anything.

“Kiara…I won’t hurt you.”

She looked at me and there were so many questions in her eyes. But I also saw desire. “I know,” she said.

It was like we were suddenly in sync. She lifted up on her toes and as I leaned in to meet her lips with mine…our chests pressed together. My head was spinning…this was what I’d wanted since the moment I laid eyes on her.

I gently wrapped my arms around her and pulled her in even closer. I was consumed by the feel of her and the taste…She parted her lips as we kissed and I let my tongue slide into her warm, wet mouth. She tasted like mint and smelled like spring time.  

I was enveloped by it all…until we heard something shatter. We both jumped and Kiara had a panicked look in her eyes. She was looking out the glass doors for her son. My eyes followed hers and we saw him at the same time…he was playing with the other kids and didn’t seem to notice us. I looked around then for the source of the crash. The smashed glass that was once a window on the side of the building now lay across the floor reflecting the sun like a thousand tiny little daggers. There was a baseball in the center of the heap. I looked back at her and pressed my forehead into hers with a smile.

“It’s just a window.” She still looked nervous. She looked back out towards the kids who were all trying to play and pretend they had nothing to do with it.

She pulled back from me, her eyes full of pain. “You don’t want to do this Patrick. You have your family and your business and your nice car, your nice life…You don’t want to get involved with a single mom and a seven year old boy.”

I kept my eyes right on hers. “What if I do?”

She gave me a nervous smile and looked back towards her son. He was looking at us through the glass doors now and grinning from ear to ear.