Bylines & Skylines (An Avery Shaw Mystery Book 9) (15 page)

No, this wasn’t make believe. It was very, very real.

“Oomph.”

It was too late to move out of the way, and the stranger was on top of me before I could dodge the attack. I tumbled to the pavement … hard … and then someone began to scream. At first I thought it was me and I couldn’t figure out why I was doing it, but then I realized it was Duncan.

Somehow, that made matters worse.

“What the … holy crap!”

I
slammed
my knee hard when I hit the pavement, the force of the blow as the man threw himself at me enough to cause me to scrape along the pavement. I groaned as I pressed my hands to the rough cement in an effort to slow my momentum, but only the side of Duncan’s car stopped my slide. I banged against it, causing a rattling sound as my cheek made contact with the hot metal.

“Ow.”

“Omigod!” Duncan keened like the moronic first death in a horror movie, flapping his arms and causing green goo to fly in every direction. “What is happening? Help! Help! Help!”

“Shut up,” I barked, managing to shift my body so my back was to the car and I could maintain a better stance to fight off my assailant. It was only then that I realized I recognized his mask, and I was horrified. “I’m being attacked my Jason Voorhees!”

“Help! Help!” Duncan resembled a flightless bird as he flapped his arms and roamed in a circle. “Help! We’re under attack! Help!”

“You help me,” I ordered, grabbing the man’s hand – the one that held the knife – and pushing it back. I was already going to have a bruise. I could feel it. The last thing I needed was a cut, too.

“Help!” Duncan bellowed. “For the love of God, can’t someone help me?”

Him? He didn’t need help. I was the one in the dire predicament. “I’m going to kill you myself when this is over,” I hissed, digging my fingernails into the soft flesh of the man’s wrist as he grunted and tried to muscle his arm free.

I’m not big and hefty, but I’m no waif. I grew up fighting boys, and I can hold my own. I took my assailant by surprise when I leaned to my left and relaxed my grip, causing him to fall forward. When his shoulder moved to the right spot I squeezed my arms as hard as possible, causing him to gasp, and then used my hips to roll him until he was prone on the pavement.

“Ha!”

My victory was short-lived because the Jason wannabe had at least sixty pounds on me, and when he realized what was happening he reared up and bucked me off. I fell backward, scrambling to put distance between us even as my hands felt raw against the pavement.

The stranger moved to his knees, gripping the knife tightly as he struggled to get to his feet. I was not in a good position, my hands pressed to the pavement as I tried to find the strength to push myself to my feet. My muscles – and aching knee – screamed for me to stop.

The man lunged in my direction and I covered my face as I shifted, relieved when I heard him miss a step and stagger. Without giving it much thought, I grabbed his shirt and gave it a hard yank, frowning when I heard it rip but nothing else happened.

“Help!” Duncan screamed. “I need help right now! Help me! Help!”

The man widened his eyes and shifted them to the left, giving me a split-second to study his brown orbs and the brief splotches of skin I could see beneath the plastic facade before he recovered and focused on me again. He raised the knife and I did the only thing I could do – I reached between his legs and gripped whatever was there (and it wasn’t much, folks) and twisted with all of my might.

I thought Duncan’s wails were the worst thing I’d heard today. I was wrong. The screech my assailant let loose was otherworldly, like an alien hunting down humans to eat. Er, or maybe just an alien in general. Does anyone know what an alien really sounds like? I couldn’t give the question the consideration it deserved because I had only one chance. I squeezed tighter, earning another scream for my efforts, and the man turned his attention from killing me to saving his future reproductive possibilities. He managed to wrench away from me, and instead of lunging in my direction again he scrabbled along the uneven concrete to get away from my fists of fury.

I wasn’t safe, but I was better off than a few moments before. That’s when my day got better.

“Eliot! Over here! Help me!” I couldn’t see Eliot, but I knew Duncan well enough to realize he was excited, and that could only mean good things for me. “I’m being attacked.”

“You’re being attacked?” I spat. “You’re not being attacked. You’re being a … woman.”

“No one is talking to you,” Duncan shot back.

I heard pounding footsteps, and I almost smiled when I caught sight of Eliot’s face between the vehicles. I turned my attention to the spot where Jason Voorhees stood moments before – a taunt on my lips. “Where did he go?”

“Who cares?” Duncan challenged. “I certainly don’t. Where have you been?”

It took me a few seconds to realize he was talking to Eliot. For his part, Eliot was having none of the drama. He pushed Duncan out of the way and hurried to me, kneeling as he gently cupped my chin so we could lock gazes.

“Are you okay?”

“I squeezed his nuts.”

Eliot pursed his lips for a moment, confused. Eventually he had no choice but to question me further. “You squeezed Duncan’s nuts?”

I shook my head. “Jason Voorhees attacked and … I didn’t know what else to do.”

Eliot has infinite patience at times. It looked as if it was wearing thin right now, though. “Avery, I need you to tell me what’s going on.”

“I was attacked,” Duncan interjected. “A guy in a hockey mask tried to kill me. I think it was a goalie mask, if that’s important.”

“It’s not even remotely important,” Eliot growled. “If the guy attacked you, why is Avery on the ground?”

“Because … um … she put herself in the middle of things,” Duncan replied. “She always does that. I think she’s desperate for attention or something.”

“He wasn’t interested in Duncan,” I argued. “He came straight for me. I thought he was wearing a cape at first, but it turns out it was just an oversized black jacket. He had a knife.”

“Uh-huh.” Eliot cast a dark look in Duncan’s direction. “What were you doing when she was fighting off the attacker?”

Duncan was taken aback. “I was … helping.”

“He was screaming like a woman,” I corrected. “He kept flapping his arms like a chicken. Bawk, bawk, bawk.” I bent my arms at the elbow as I imitated him, and then grimaced as small spasms of pain coursed through me. “It was pathetic. I wish I could’ve filmed him, though.”

“Yeah, well you’re lucky to be alive, so we’ll take this as a win,” Eliot said, taking me by surprise when he kissed my forehead. “You’ll do anything to get out of a serious conversation, huh?”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“I didn’t see him until it was already too late,” I replied. “He was on me and I only had one shot. I didn’t know what else to do.”

“You did the right thing,” Eliot said, holding my chin in place so I had no place to look but his eyes. “You’re beat up, but you’re okay. You even kept this fool alive.” He jerked his chin in Duncan’s direction. “It’ll be all right. We’ll figure it out.”

“I’m still the boss, right?”

The last thing Eliot wanted to do given the seriousness of the situation was smile. He couldn’t help himself, though. “You’re still the boss.”

“Then my week remains happy.”

“Oh, you’re lucky I love you,” Eliot said, kissing my forehead again. “Otherwise I would have to kill you myself.”

“Promises, promises.”

“
W
HAT
happened
?” Jake was nearly out of breath when he hit the parking lot.

“Someone attacked her,” Eliot replied. He sat on the pavement next to me and studied my bloody knee. “She’s okay, but she’s a little banged up.”

“Not just somebody,” I interjected. “Jason Voorhees tried to kill me. If I wasn’t so rattled I would consider this a highlight in my career. Jason Voorhees is so much better than Tad Ludington on the list of people I’ve ticked off.”

“You’re a pain,” Eliot said.

“Jason Voorhees? You recognized who attacked you?” Jake was understandably confused. “We can get an APB out if you know who it was.”

“Jason Voorhees is the killer in
Friday the 13
^th
,” Eliot explained. “She was attacked by a guy in a mask.”

“Oh.” Jake looked disappointed. “I guess that means she doesn’t know who attacked her.”

“Only that it was a man,” I supplied.

“How can you be sure?”

“Well, other than his size, I grabbed his … you know what … and twisted for all it was worth.”

“Yes, and we’re washing your hands as soon as we can get you inside,” Eliot said, offering me a rueful smile. He was trying to make a joke to lighten the mood – and I appreciated the effort – but I had to force myself to return the smile. “Does anything hurt that shouldn’t?”

“My knee is killing me.”

“Yeah, well, I can see that,” Eliot said. “You’ll be limping for a few days. When that stiffens … you’re going to be in pain.”

“I’m already in pain.”

“You’re definitely a pain,” Duncan intoned, leaning against his car with his arms crossed over his chest. “Does anyone care that I’m still covered in goo?”

“Not even remotely,” Eliot replied, scorching Duncan with a harsh look. “In fact, if you want to live through the rest of the afternoon, you’d better shut your mouth.”

“Did you hear that, Sheriff Farrell? He threatened my life. I want him arrested.”

“I didn’t hear a thing,” Jake said, lowering himself to the ground so he could look me over. “She has marks over here, too.”

“I saw them,” Eliot said. “We need some antiseptic and bandages. We need to clean these scrapes up first, though. There’s dirt in them.”

“Maybe we should take her to the hospital,” Jake suggested.

“I’m not going to the hospital.”

“Shh,” Eliot admonished. “No one is talking to you.” He shifted his eyes to Jake. “She doesn’t appear to have any broken bones. She’ll be sore tomorrow.”

“Well, maybe that will keep her out of trouble for a few days,” Jake said. “It will certainly stop her from hiding behind displays and eavesdropping.”

“I wasn’t eavesdropping!”

“You were eavesdropping,” Jake said. “I don’t really care, though. It’s not as if we were talking about something important.”

Well, it was good to know where I ranked. “So I’m not important?”

Eliot narrowed his eyes. “What makes you think we were talking about you?”

“I heard you.”

“I did say that thing about you being perfect in her world,” Jake offered.

“Yeah, but you were talking about me before then,” I argued. Hey, if I was going to be drawn into a serious discussion I wanted to use my injuries as ammunition. They would both let me off the hook if they thought I was in pain. “I heard you.”

“We were not.”

“Yes, you were,” I shot back. “You were telling Eliot about my attitude because I saw you with those … harlots.”

“What harlots?” Eliot asked, furrowing his brow. “What is going on?”

Uh-oh. This wasn’t going the way I expected. “The ones I saw Jake with when I found him. I … crap.”

“Yes, crap,” Jake said. “That’s not what we were talking about. We were talking about a door that wasn’t working correctly in the back of the building and Eliot said he would handle the situation but I was crabby and pushed him on it.”

“Oh, well … then all is right in our world.”

“Not really,” Eliot said dryly. “What were you talking about?”

“Um … .” Crud on toast with a burnt cracker. How do I keep doing this to myself?

“We had a small argument,” Jake offered. “It was nothing big. She just … acted weird. I thought something was going on with her because she didn’t like the women I was talking to.”

“You thought she was jealous,” Eliot surmised. “That’s it, right?”

“I … maybe,” Jake conceded. “I’m sure it’s not that.”

Eliot glanced at me. “Were you jealous?”

I nodded. What? There’s no sense in lying now. He already knows. “Not for the reason he thinks, though.”

Eliot bit his bottom lip as he fought to contain his temper. “Okay. What reason?”

“I was fine with the
Avatar
chick and whatever that other one was … .”

“
Outlander
,” Jake supplied. “She was from
Outlander
.”

“Oh, that’s why I didn’t recognize her,” I said. “I haven’t watched that. Anyway, they didn’t bother me. I think Jake would have fun rolling around with a chick covered in blue body paint. He needs to get down and dirty. He’s wound too tight these days.”

“Okay,” Eliot said. “What bothered you?”

“There was a woman dressed in Princess Leia’s slave costume and Jake wouldn’t stop looking down her bikini top.”

“That’s not true,” Jake protested. “That’s completely untrue.”

“I saw it. Don’t bother denying it.”

“And that bothered you?” Eliot pressed, forcing me to nod. “Is that all?” I nodded again. “Well, I understand that. It’s okay. Just … there’s no need to pick a fight over any of this. We’re in a weird place right now and we’re all doing the best we can. It will get better in a few weeks.”

“You understand it?” Jake was incredulous. “What do you understand?”

“She was upset because of the outfit,” Eliot replied. “
Star Wars
is her thing. If you picked any other geeky girl – including the
Star Trek
nurse I agitated her with – you would’ve been fine. She’s the queen of the
Star Wars
realm, though. You can’t mess with that.”

Holy crap! He really did get me. Here I was thinking I was being immature and irrational yet he got me. I’m definitely buying more lottery tickets.

“You two are extremely odd,” Jake said. “You know that, right? I have no idea what’s going on, but … you’re just odd.”

“And we’re going to stay that way,” Eliot said, slipping his arms around my waist and helping me to my feet. He cringed when I whimpered. “Are you going to be okay?”

“I’m fine. I’m tough.”

“You are tough,” he agreed. “We’ll finish talking about this inside, though. I want to get those scrapes cleaned out and put some ice on that knee.”

“And get me some ice cream,” I added.

“And get you some ice cream,” Eliot conceded. “We’ll do it in the control room. There are cameras pointed toward the parking lot. Maybe they picked up something.”

“Well, then let’s definitely do that,” Jake said. “I want to see this Jason guy for myself.”

“You need to watch more movies,” I said. “You’re a pop culture nun or something. It’s not attractive.”