Bylines & Skylines (An Avery Shaw Mystery Book 9) (19 page)

“I want to know who hurt you, Avery,” Mom said. “Has anyone been arrested?”

“We don’t know who it is,” Eliot answered for me. “We think it has something to do with the murder at the convention center, but we can’t be sure. It could’ve been a random mugger.”

“I heard about the death at the convention center,” Mom sniffed. “That’s terrible. Do you know what happened yet?”

“We’re still looking into it,” Eliot replied. “Because Avery and I found the victim, we’re both dedicated to seeing it through to the end. I’m sure everything will work out.”

Mom’s mouth dropped open. “You found her?”

“Oh, crud,” Eliot muttered, shooting me an apologetic look. “I’m sorry.”

“Oh, you will be,” I intoned. “Wait for it.”

“Why did you find the body?”

“Because Eliot snuck Avery in before the convention opened and they had sex in a hut,” Derrick blurted out. “They found it after.”

I widened my eyes, dumbfounded. “Really? You’re the one having a baby without being married and you’re sex shaming me?”

“I … didn’t mean to say that,” Derrick said, holding his hands palms up. “It slipped out. I wanted to say something else.”

Devon looked smug. “Oh, what a tangled web we weave.”

“Shut your hole,” I hissed. “You’re not even part of this.”

“I cannot believe you had sex in public, Avery Shaw,” Mom snapped. “That is just … terrible.”

“Yes, it’s freaking tragic,” I deadpanned. “I should be flogged in the town square.”

“Did you hear what Derrick said?” Mom turned to Grandpa. “Aren’t you embarrassed? She was naked in public.”

Grandpa shrugged. He was naked in public every day – by choice and to annoy the neighbors when he skinny-dipped – so he didn’t appear particularly perturbed by the admission. “It’s not the end of the world.”

“Not even close,” I added.

“We weren’t in public,” Eliot said, scowling. “We were alone.”

“Except for the dead body,” Mom pointed out.

“She wasn’t talking, though,” I said. “She had other things on her mind … like being killed.”

“Don’t you change the subject,” Mom snapped. “How could you do such a thing?”

“Speaking of doing things,” Derrick said. “I know something else Avery is doing.”

“Really?” I was legitimately surprised. “Are you going to double down on this?”

“You have it coming,” Derrick said.

“I don’t even want to know,” Mom said, pressing the heel of her hand to her forehead. “I’m afraid it might kill me.”

“Oh, well, tell her,” I instructed. “I want to see if that really happens.”

“Avery.” Eliot’s voice was low and full of warning. “I thought we agreed I would be the one to tell her.”

“Too late,” Derrick said, rubbing his hands together and grinning as he locked eyes with my mother. “Avery and Eliot are moving in together … and they’re not getting married.”

And there it was. Batten down the hatches, boys and girls. World War III is officially here.

“
Y
ou’re moving in together
?”

Mom’s voice was tinged with imminent death. I wasn’t sure if it was mine or Eliot’s. Of course, I could luck out and actually kill her. She’d been threatening me with the possibility for years. It was like when she told me my face would freeze a certain way if I kept making “well, duh” expressions as a kid. That never happened either.

“We are,” Eliot confirmed. “We’re looking for a house.”

“I see.” Mom tapped her stubby fingernails on the tabletop. The rest of the family was eerily quiet. I couldn’t believe they weren’t adding to the mayhem. They would be a welcome distraction right about now. “And when did you decide this?”

“Yesterday.” I answered automatically as Eliot grunted out a sigh.

“We decided a few weeks ago,” Eliot said. “We had a long talk and we think it’s best for both of us.”

“And you’re not getting married?”

“Not yet.”

“I see.”

I hate it when my mother says that. “I see.” It’s code for “I really don’t see and I’m going to make you pay for rendering me temporarily blind.” She was about to blow. I could feel it.

“What do you think about this?” Mom turned to Grandpa, who didn’t immediately answer. Instead he forked a heaping mound of onions and chili into his mouth and made a big show of chewing it.

“Everything is going to work out,” Eliot said. “We’re going to buy a house together and then Avery is going to sell her house. I’m going to turn my apartment into an office for my new security business. We have everything planned out.”

“You have everything planned out for a life together that doesn’t involve marriage,” Mom corrected. “If you’re plotting a life together, I would love to know why that doesn’t include marriage.”

“Um … because we’re not there yet,” Eliot answered, shifting in his chair. “When we’re ready for marriage, you’ll be the first to know. Isn’t that right, Avery?”

I shrugged. “I’ll probably tell Carly and Lexie first. I would’ve told Derrick, too, but he’s a fink.”

“Hey! You blabbed about Devon being pregnant instead of letting me handle it,” Derrick protested. “I was just paying you back.”

“You paid me back with the gossipy tidbit about the hut,” I pointed out. “Adding to it was just mean. She didn’t even get a chance to finish yelling at me about that before you added to my emotional distress.”

“And you did it after she was attacked in a parking lot,” Mario added, sliding into the chair next to Mom. I didn’t even see him arrive. “That’s just cold, man.”

“No one asked you,” Derrick shot back, although he looked appropriately abashed. I could tell the magnitude of the bomb he dropped was starting spread its radioactivity. “I … crap. You’re right. I should’ve waited.”

“If you’d waited you would’ve been able to torture me for another week,” I pointed out. “Now you prematurely shot your wad – which I’m sure is how Devon got pregnant in the first place – and you’re all out of dirt to hold over me.”

Derrick scowled. “I don’t prematurely shoot my wad.”

“Stop talking about wads,” Grandpa ordered, casting a worried glance over his shoulder to see if the rest of the diner’s guests were listening to the conversation. “No one needs to discuss wads.”

“Certainly not,” Mom agreed. “We have bigger things to talk about.”

She didn’t remind me of the shark in
Jaws
at this particular moment. No, right now she looked like Jack Nicholson in
The Shining
. I could only hope she didn’t have access to an ax.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Eliot said, his temper starting to fray. “We’ve made our decision. We’re searching for a house together and that’s all there is to it. I was hopeful you would get on board with this, but if you don’t want to do that I guess there’s no way to change your mind.”

“I’m allowed to have feelings about my only daughter … shacking up … with her boyfriend,” Mom shot back. “That’s allowed.”

“It is allowed,” Eliot agreed. “What isn’t allowed is shaming her and making her feel bad. We’re happy. Why can’t you be happy for us?”

“Because this is not how I envisioned things,” Mom replied. “I thought she would get married. Heck, I thought you would make a grand gesture and propose in front of all of us. It was going to be like
Cinderella
.”

I choked on the water I sipped and made a face. “
Cinderella
?”

“That’s what I wanted,” Mom sniffed.

“Well, that’s not what I want,” I said. “If anything, it’s going to be like
The Empire Strikes Back
– without that whole frozen-in-carbonite thing. Oh, and I get to say the pimp line of ‘I know.’”

“You’re definitely trying to kill me,” Mom complained. “I can feel my heart weakening as we speak. Are you happy?”

“Ask me again in five minutes,” I replied. “Eliot and I are excited. We’re getting a house with a pool. We’re getting a maid because Eliot doesn’t think I can clean a big house … and he’s right. We’re both going to have our own offices and Eliot is going to have a man cave, which I’m totally going to sneak into when he’s not looking. You’re not going to change my mind, so why put up a fuss?”

“Just congratulate us and move on,” Eliot suggested. “Avery is right, though. You’re not going to change my mind. You’re not going to change her mind. This is the way it is right now.”

“And the way it is doesn’t involve marriage, right?” Mom prodded. “Are you sure?”

“Not right now,” Eliot replied, not missing a beat. “I can’t see the future, so I can’t tell you when things will change. For now, we’re happy with our decision. You can either be happy with us or keep your nose out of things. That’s totally up to you.”

“Well, great,” Mom said, clapping her hands together. “Derrick is having a baby without being married. Avery is moving in with Eliot and not getting married. Why is no one getting married?”

Mario patted Mom’s hand to calm her. “I’ll get married one day,” he said. “You have that to look forward to.”

“Well, that’s marvelous.” Mom’s face was so red I thought she might pass out. Still, in the grand scheme of things, she was handling it better than I expected. That’s not saying much, though. “I can’t wait until you get married, Mario. I’ll buy a new outfit and everything.”

“Oh, you’re thinking too small,” Mario said. “Avery won’t give you what you want, but I will. I’ll even let you pay for the wedding.”

Mom’s frozen smile slipped. “Excuse me?”

“You can be bossy with my future wife,” Mario offered. “It will be fun. I plan to be bossy with her.”

“That’s why you’re going to be alone forever, son,” Grandpa said, shaking his head as he locked gazes with me and winked. “Personally, I’m excited about all of this. I was running out of things to keep the neighbors talking. I see Derrick and Avery are taking up the slack for me. It’s a glorious day.”

“You’re not helping,” Mom snapped.

“I’m pretty sure he wasn’t trying to help,” Derrick interjected.

“Oh, you must get that from him,” I challenged.

“I said I was sorry,” Derrick whined. “Are you going to hold this against me?”

“You have no idea.”

Eliot leaned back and slipped his arm over my shoulders as he regarded Derrick. “I would start running now,” he said. “Once she’s mobile again, you’re in a buttload of trouble.”

“I’ve already figured that out myself,” Derrick grumbled.

Mom crossed her arms over her chest at the other end of the table as I reached for the specials board. Dinner hadn’t even begun yet and I’d already lost my appetite.

“Ooh, prime rib,” I enthused, grinning. “That’s my favorite.”

“Enjoy it,” Grandpa said, smirking. “I think you’ve earned it.”

Oh, he had no idea.

“
W
ELL
,
when you’re right, you’re right.”

Eliot followed me into my house a few hours later, his shoulders heavy.

“You should’ve listened to me,” I said, holding his arm as I kicked off my flip-flops. My knee was still unbelievably sore.

“I see the light,” Eliot deadpanned. “You’re a genius. I’ll never doubt you again.”

If I believed that, the entire dinner fiasco would’ve been worth it. I knew he was only shining me on, though. “You will. The pain from my mother’s forked tongue stabbing you through the heart will eventually fade.”

“You’re so visual when you insult people,” Eliot said, grinning as he tickled my ribs and led me to the couch. “If you sit sideways I’ll rub your back again.”

“Really?” I had my doubts. “Why? I would think you’d be really angry because I brought things to a head like I did.”

“I’m used to that,” Eliot said. “I need something to do with my hands, though, and you’re still sore. I figure I can kill two birds.”

I wasn’t going to look a gift massage in the mouth. “Sold.”

We got comfortable on the couch, both of us sitting sideways as Eliot positioned himself behind me and began rubbing. We lapsed into comfortable silence, but I could tell something was on Eliot’s mind. Instead of pressuring him, I waited for him to come to me.

“Do you want to talk about what your mother said?”

“Which part?” I asked. “I honestly thought we might get away without having to hear that whole giving-away-the-milk-for-free diatribe, but she whipped it out right before the dessert arrived. I have to give her credit. She is a master at wearing people down.”

“You must get that from her,” Eliot said. “I’m sorry for what she said to you, though. It wasn’t fair. You know I don’t believe any of that, right?”

“Any of what?”

“Any of it,” Eliot replied. “She said a lot of things tonight, and none of them are true. I don’t disrespect you because we didn’t wait until marriage to have sex.”

I snorted. “I know that.”

“Do you? You just sat there and took it. I thought you would say something, but you just ate your prime rib and smiled.”

“That’s because I traveled to a galaxy far, far away in my head.”

“Avery, be serious,” Eliot prodded. “You know I respect you, right?”

“I know you respect me,” I confirmed. “I’m not worried about anything like that. Don’t work yourself up into knots. She just believes in a different way. It’s an older way. She’ll get over it … eventually.”

“When we’re married,” Eliot surmised.

“I guess.” I wasn’t comfortable talking about marriage. It wasn’t something I thought about. In truth, it wasn’t something I let myself think about. I was happy with the status quo. If things changed down the road, I was sure I would be fine. For now, though, I had more on my plate than I could handle … and that was saying something after putting away two heaping servings of prime rib and a slice of pie during dinner.

“Avery, we’re not ready to get married,” Eliot said, causing me to internally groan. I just knew he was going to force this issue. “You know that, don’t you?”

“Eliot, I’m not pressuring you for marriage.”

“Is that something you want eventually?”

“I … don’t know,” I replied, opting for honesty. “I’m happy now. Can’t that be enough?”

“You’re more than enough for me,” Eliot said. “I only want to make sure I’m giving you enough. It’s important that you have the things you need, too.”

“I have everything I need,” I said. “As long as you don’t call my boss and treat me like a child again we’re good.”

“I promise to never do that again. I was wrong.”

“Admitting you’re wrong once a day can only help, too,” I teased, earning a shoulder pinch for my lame joke. “We’re fine, Eliot. I mean … I’m fine. You’re fine, too, right?”

“I’m fine,” Eliot said. “I don’t want you obsessing about marriage. You’re not ready for it yet and I can’t be ready until you’re ready.”

That was an odd way to put it. “What do you mean that I’m not ready?”

“You’re not ready,” Eliot repeated. “You can’t take several big changes at the same time. You have to think things out and work them over in your head before accepting them. You’re still adjusting to us moving in together.

“Now, don’t get me wrong, I think it’s incredibly cute how excited you are,” he continued. “You’ve also had a few minor panic attacks. We’re still in the beginning stages of this. I foresee panic attacks when we close, when we have to move, when we decide on paint colors, when we interview maids, when we pick a lawn service and the first time you have to pick up after yourself.

“There’s a lot of panic in our immediate future,” he said. “Marriage now would push you over the edge. I don’t know everything, but I do know you well enough to understand that.”

I ran my tongue over my teeth as I considered what he said. He was right. I knew it. The fact that he not only knew it but accepted and embraced it was amazing. “So you know I’m going to freak out and you’re okay with it?”

“I know you’re going to freak out and I’m ready to deal with it,” Eliot clarified. “Life is short but we have a lot of time stretching out in front of us. We’re going to get through all of this and … when we’re settled … then we’ll talk about marriage.”

I glanced over my shoulder and met his steady gaze. “Do you really think you’ll want to marry me one day?”

“I really think I want to marry you now, but you’re not ready,” Eliot replied, unruffled. “If that freaks you out, I’m sorry. We’re taking it one step at a time, though. Finding a house is the first step. Buying the house is the second step. I refuse to take two steps at once and cause a meltdown. I also refuse to let your mother push you into something you’re not ready for.”

“Oh, you really are Prince Charming,” I gushed, grinning when his cheeks colored.

“I would prefer being Ironman,” Eliot said after a beat.

“Ooh, if you’re Ironman, can I be Wonder Woman?”

Eliot shrugged. “What’s your sudden infatuation with Wonder Woman?”

“I want to wear the outfit.”

“Oh, well, you might not be ready for marriage, but you’re definitely ready for a Wonder Woman outfit,” Eliot said, tickling my ribs and causing me to squeal as he wrestled me to the couch.

“I need a magic lasso,” I said, gasping as he kissed my ear. “I want to tie you up.”

“Oddly, that’s the sweetest thing you’ve said to me all day.”