Bylines & Skylines (An Avery Shaw Mystery Book 9) (20 page)

“Although, if you’re Batman, maybe you’d be more turned on if I dressed as Robin. I mean, for all I know, you might roll that way.”

“And we’re back,” Eliot said, nipping at my ear. “We’re okay, right?”

“We will be if you let me be Wonder Woman.”

“Sold,” Eliot said, lightly spanking my rear. “Come on. Let’s go save the world.”

Finally! Something I actually wanted to do today.

I
wanted
to go to the convention the next day but Eliot thought I should rest. I considered arguing, but ultimately ignored the urge. He was exhausted from the night before and could only take so much. Instead, I decided to visit my cousin Lexie’s yoga studio, which was right around the corner, and sent Eliot off with a kiss and unseemly suspicions clouding his chocolate eyes. I have no idea why he doubts me. I’m completely trustworthy.

“You’re in big trouble,” I announced when I walked into Lexie’s studio and found her stretching on the floor. My best friend Carly, who was pregnant, mimicked her movements despite the small protrusion in her abdomen.

“Who are you talking to?” Carly asked, glancing around. “Are you talking to me? If so, I have a rude awakening for you. You’re the one in trouble.”

I immediately switched gears. “What did I do?” I whined. “I’ve been busy. I can’t get in trouble for something I’m not even aware of when I haven’t been around. That’s impossible … even for me.”

“Yes, you’ve been so busy you haven’t bothered to text your best friend in days,” Carly pointed out.

“She hasn’t texted me either,” Lexie offered. “I feel neglected.”

“Yeah, well, you’re still in trouble,” I said, lowering myself to the floor. “I’m mad at you, so you can’t be mad at me.”

“How do you figure that?” Lexie asked, miffed.

“You didn’t come to family dinner last night.”

“Oh, that,” Lexie dismissed with a wave. “I have a Friday night class for the next six weeks. It can’t be helped. Business comes before family.”

That’s not the rule. If that were the rule I’d volunteer for a Friday night shift at the newspaper. I would be the resident hero if I took over the most hated schedule at The Monitor. “Whatever,” I muttered. “I’m still ticked.”

“Why? What happened?”

“Well, Derrick announced to my mother that Eliot and I discovered a dead body at the comic book convention,” I said. “Then he told her we made the discovery after doing the deed in a public place. Then he told her that Eliot and I are moving in together. I’m sure you can imagine how that went over.”

Carly’s eyes widened to comical proportions. “Holy crap! Is all of that true?”

“I already told you Eliot and I are moving in together. You suggested moving in next door to you so you could have free babysitting. That’s still not happening, by the way. I don’t do diapers.”

“Not that,” Carly said, waving off the admission as if I said I changed my daily breakfast regimen instead of shifted my life goals. “Did you have sex in public and find a dead body?”

“We didn’t technically have sex in public,” I clarified. “The convention center was empty. The event wasn’t open yet. We merely had sex in a private hut in one of the
Star Wars
exhibits.”

“Ooh,” Carly enthused. “It’s like your version of porn.”

I opened my mouth to argue and then snapped it shut. She wasn’t wrong. “It was a very nice evening.”

“Oh, how cute,” Lexie said. “You’re kind of a prude after starring as a porn star. I didn’t see that coming.”

“I’m not a prude,” I argued. “I don’t care about the sex … although it was delightful. I’m more worked up about my mother’s reaction to the news that Eliot and I are moving in together. That was the stuff of movies, too. It was the stuff of horror films.”

“I don’t know why you’re surprised,” Carly said, her face turning red as she reached for her toes. Because she’s twenty pounds lighter than me – while also being several months pregnant – I couldn’t help but get a kick out of her struggles. She was generally a human pretzel while I was the glob of cheese one dipped the pretzel in. What? That’s not mean. I can admit my limitations while taking joy in the struggles of others. It’s totally normal. “You knew your mother was going to have a fit. I think you should’ve told her weeks ago. If you did that, she’d already be over it.”

“Carly is wise,” Lexie intoned. “She’s very wise.”

I narrowed my eyes into dangerous blue slits. I had no idea when these two got so close, but I didn’t like it. Carly was my best friend and Lexie was often the bane of my existence. The only thing they have in common is me. They should be fighting about who gets to spend time with me, not enjoying each other’s company. “I’m wise,” I countered. “I’m a genius.”

“You’re something,” Carly said. “I’m not sure what word I would use, but I can say without equivocation that ‘genius’ is not it.”

I was pretty sure I’d just been insulted. “Doesn’t anyone care about my plight? My mother turned into the dark lord of the Sith last night. She’s going to cut me down with a lightsaber if I’m not careful.”

Lexie giggled at my drama. “No, she won’t.”

“She’s my mother. I know her best.”

“And she’s my aunt and I’ve known her almost as long as you have,” Lexie countered. “She’s angry and upset – mostly because she thinks you’ve been keeping something from her, I’d wager – but she’ll get over it.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because she won’t be able to stop herself,” Lexie replied. “She likes Eliot. She knows he’s your only shot of ever getting married. I think he’s the only one in the world who can put up with you.”

Now I knew I was being insulted. “Many men find me attractive.”

“Until they spend five minutes with you,” Lexie said. “You’re a great cousin and a good friend. If you were my girlfriend, though, I would strangle you in your sleep and dump you in the Detroit River.”

“If you were my girlfriend we’d have bigger problems.”

“You know what I mean,” Lexie said. “You’re a lot of work. I’m not saying you’re not worth it, but you are a nonstop headache. I’ve washed out of three rehabs and only had the fourth stick because I knew everyone would cut me off if I failed again and I’m still less work than you.”

That was a sobering thought.

“You and Eliot are happy, though, and you’re going to pick a great house and hire great maids and continue to be happy,” Lexie said. “Sure, you’ll fight, but you guys tend to get off on that. Like foreplay.”

“Before you do it in a hut again you should fight,” Carly teased, grinning. “It will be so hot.”

“I can’t believe you’re taking my mother’s side on this,” I groused. “I came here for moral support.”

“We’re here to give you support,” Lexie said. “However, we’re not here to enable you.”

I narrowed my eyes. “You’ve been reading that spiritual crap again, haven’t you?”

“Meditation is not ‘spiritual crap.’ I’m on a path to enlightenment.”

“And this time without pot,” I said, earning a dark look from Carly. “What? It’s the truth.”

“Avery is allowed her opinions,” Lexie said. “She hasn’t found the path to enlightenment yet.”

“That shows what you know,” I said, yanking the leg of my workout pants up and showing off my bruised and battered knee. “I was attacked by Jason Voorhees. It doesn’t get more enlightening than that.”

“From those horror movies?” Carly asked, wrinkling her nose as she leaned closer to inspect the injury. “How did you meet him?”

“I didn’t meet him,” I replied. “Some guy dressed as him attacked me in the parking lot. It’s the same thing, though.”

“I don’t think that’s the same thing,” Lexie argued.

“It is … and shut your mouth.”

“Fine.” Lexie held her hands up in a placating manner. “You’re enlightened because a movie killer from thirty years ago knocked you over in the parking lot. I stand corrected.”

“Right?” I rolled my pants down. “I’ve been giving it some thought, and I think it has to be the killer.”

“What killer?” Carly asked, contorting her body into a different position. “You just said it was the killer from those slasher movies. Are you talking about a different killer?”

Why do I surround myself with people who can’t keep up when I’m trying to solve a case? I just don’t get it sometimes. “No. I’m saying that whoever killed Kristen Reardon – she was the girl Eliot and I found on the convention floor the other night – knew I was asking questions about her and followed me to the parking lot. He attacked to silence me.”

“Isn’t it Jake’s job to solve this case?” Lexie asked, working herself into a painful looking set of splits. “Why do you think it’s necessary for you to solve the case?”

“Because I’m gifted and that’s my job,” I replied, internally cringing at the way she stretched. “Doesn’t that hurt?”

“It feels good.”

“It doesn’t look as though it feels good.”

“Well, then you’re blind.”

“And you’re an idiot,” I muttered under my breath.

“I heard that.”

I scowled as I turned to Carly. I was expecting a sympathetic ear when I came to the yoga studio, but all I received was snark. I hate that. It’s different when you’re on the receiving end compared. “I think I’ve incurred the wrath of a killer,” I said, sucking in a breath to give my announcement more heft. “Jason Voorhees is coming for me.”

“I think you probably ran into a drunk in the parking lot and mouthed off,” Carly countered.

“He had a knife!”

“Doesn’t Jason Voorhees carry a big knife? How do you know it wasn’t a prop?”

Crap. She had a point. “I … because he wanted to kill me.”

“Or maybe he was drunk or high and tripped and you overreacted,” Lexie suggested. “What did you do when he landed on top of you?”

“I grabbed his nuts and twisted until he cried.”

Carly and Lexie made twin faces of disgust.

“Then what happened?” Lexie asked.

“Then Duncan screamed like a woman and Eliot came running,” I replied. “The guy was gone by the time Eliot made it to us. After that I had a big and heavy talk with Jake and Eliot about the nature of relationships and ate ice cream while they patched me up.”

“Oh! You’re burying the lead,” Carly said. “What big talk did you have with Jake and Eliot?”

“Yeah, are you going to finally get your wish and have a threesome?” Lexie asked, causing my stomach to turn.

“I do not want to have a threesome.”

Lexie cocked a dubious eyebrow. “Not even a little?”

“Fine. Maybe a little. I would much rather it include Han Solo than Jake, though.”

“I think you would take either of them,” Lexie said. “That doesn’t matter, though. It’s never going to happen. What was the big talk about?”

“Jake is unhappy with Cara and a little … out of sorts … because Eliot and I are moving in together.”

“You mean jealous,” Carly said. “He’s jealous! I saw this coming.”

“He’s not jealous,” I argued. “He’s … sad. He wants to be happy and he knows he couldn’t really be happy with me. That doesn’t mean he’s not unhappy with Cara. He’s worried she’s going to make a scene when he breaks up with her.”

“Is he really going to break up with her?”

“That’s what he says.”

“Well, that will be interesting,” Lexie said. “If he finds a girlfriend he actually has a future with you’re the one who is going to go off the rails. That won’t be pretty.”

“I won’t go off the rails.”

“You might.”

I searched my heart. “No, I won’t,” I said after a beat. “I really want him to be happy and I’m not so narcissistic that I want him pining for something we can never have. I know we would make each other miserable. I understand that. I don’t want a relationship with Jake and I genuinely want him to be happy.”

“Well, I almost believe you,” Carly said, looking me up and down. “That’s growth. I was worried when you seemed to dislike Cara so much. I thought maybe you were going to ruin things with Eliot before you realized Jake and you had no future. I’m a little relieved.”

“I dislike Cara because she’s making him miserable and she’s kind of crazy,” I said. “By the way, if she makes a scene, I’ll have to take her down. I can’t let her destroy Jake’s political career.”

“And that’s the Avery we all know and love,” Lexie said, grinning. “I’m really proud of you. It sounds as if you’re ready to let go of Jake.”

“I let Jake go like that a long time ago,” I said. “I’ll never be able to fully let go of him. He’s a part of my life. He’s a friend now, though. We’re not going to get forever together. We will remain friends until the end, though.”

“Oh, that was almost poetic,” Lexie cooed, causing my cheeks to burn as I frowned. “Do you know what we should do?”

“Show me a little sympathy?”

“Not that,” Lexie answered, shaking her head. “We should go to the comic book convention. Derrick says that Eliot got you special passes. We could get the VIP treatment. We’re not doing anything else. That could be fun.”

Carly made a face. “Isn’t that all geeks and pimples?”

“It’s all cool people and costumes,” I corrected.

“That sounded the same in my head.”

I held my hand up so I didn’t have to look at her face. “I don’t understand how we’re even friends.”

“That makes two of us,” Carly said, slapping my hand away. “Still … they have junk food there, right?” I nodded. “Let’s go. I’d love a funnel cake.”

“You just spent an hour working out,” I pointed out.

“And now I want cake.”

“Let’s do it,” Lexie prodded. “I promise it will be fun.”

I tilted my head to the side and considered the prospect. Eliot didn’t want me hanging around the convention and asking questions about a murder. He didn’t say anything about attending as a guest.

“Why not?” I pushed myself to a standing position. “I can’t wait to show you the hut.”

“I just want you to show me the funnel cake,” Carly said. “You can save the sexploits conversation for when I’m not starving … or in danger of puking.”

“I can live with that.”