Caching In (21 page)

In that moment, I didn’t think it was possible for me to be more proud of my best friend. She’d gone from a naive girl blinded by love, to a mom to be with her child’s well-being at heart. She made some dumb mistakes along the way (um, Daryl!), but everyone’s judgment got clouded one time or another. It was like everyone suddenly saw things so clearly. Chelsea realized Daniel was a douche, Perry found himself in love, my mom was even dating, and here I sat trying to get my head out of my ass and right things between Seth and me.

----------

Creating the cache didn’t take as long as I expected, so, right after, Chelsea and I returned to the library and hid the faux book in the reference section. Back at my place, she watched as I submitted the online form to the website for official approval and placement. I hoped it wouldn’t take long. Two weeks passed since I last spoke with Seth, and I missed him terribly.

Chelsea and I thought we should make up for lost time, and head out to dinner together. Our little town boasted only a few restaurants, so we settled on a tiny sit down place for a quick meal, and a band if one was scheduled to play.

Known for their excellent pizza, we ordered a cheese and sausage. Chelsea said she couldn’t handle much more than that on her pizza. Her pregnancy so far didn’t create any odd cravings, but she needed to keep things simple. Being just the two of us, we ordered a small, and a pitcher of diet soda.

“I can’t believe I didn’t ask how your trip went!” Chelsea picked a sausage off her piece of pizza and popped it in her mouth. “And I
love
your hair.”

We were so busy working on the cache, up to our eyeballs in glue and paper, we barely discussed anything. We had a lot to catch up on. “Thanks,” I said as I smoothed it down. “Well, if you can believe it, Perry has a
live in girlfriend
!”

“What? I never thought I’d see the day.” About a year before she met Daniel, Chelsea developed a little crush on my brother. He’d already moved to Nevada, but at that time, he came back often to visit. I warned Chelsea of my brother’s womanizer ways, and she, ironically, stayed away. “Good for him.”

“So, Perry’s happy, you’re in a good place. I need to find my own happiness.”

“It’ll come, Ally. Once Seth finds this cache and realizes how much you care for him, he won’t be able to resist. You deserve happiness after what Josh put you through.” She paused. “You deserve happiness anyway.”

“Thanks, Chels. I appreciate you saying that.” I picked up a piece of pizza, blew on it to cool it down, and took a bite, the cheese pulling from it and almost landing on my chin. “I haven’t eaten pizza in awhile. This is so good.”

“I forget, you eat healthy.”

She used air quotes around the word healthy. I hated when people did that, as though watching what I ate made me some sort of a snob. “Stop it. I like to watch what I eat. Sue me.” My gravitated toward the bar. I couldn’t believe what I saw. “And screw me, too.”

Chelsea picked up her cup and sipped out of the straw. “What? Why?”

“Seth. He’s over at the bar.” Chelsea turned where I my eyes fixated. “He’s not alone.” Seth stood at the bar with another guy, and two girls. “Is he on a
date
?”

Chelsea turned her attention back to me. “I’m sorry, Ally.”

“No. Don’t be. I just … I gotta get out of here.” I grabbed my purse, yanked out my wallet, flipping through until I found some cash. I tossed it on the table. “I’ll be outside in the car.” I got up and raced toward the door, and heard Seth call my name behind me. I did what I should have done all along.

I ran away.

----------

“Ally!” I let him yell my name as I pumped my legs faster until I reached the car. I latched onto the handle, but the door wouldn’t open. Shit. My keys were in my pocket. I forced my hands in, snatched the keys, and as I hit the unlock button, Seth’s hand met my shoulder. “Ally, stop. Listen to me.”

I pushed his hand off, blinking away tears. “No. I know what I saw. Leave me alone, Seth.”

“Please. Turn around. Look at me.”

His voice captured me, and I remembered his hearty laugh, loving eyes, those strong, gentle hands. I didn’t need to turn around because if I did, I’d give in to those eyes. “No. I don’t want to. Go back to your date and enjoy the rest of your life. Chelsea will be out any minute and we’ll be out of your hair.”

I waited for his footsteps to pound against the gravel. He tried to catch his breath, and he stood so close, the warmth grazed my skin. Every ounce of my body wanted to turn around and grab him, press my lips against him and tell him how much I loved him. He didn’t walk away, and I didn’t turn around.

Seth’s breath got hotter as he got closer. He came up behind me, touched his fingertips to my neck, stroking the bottom of my hair. “I like your hair. You … you’re … beautiful.”

I shivered, the words meaning more than he could understand. “Thanks.” I longed for those hands on my skin, but seeing him with another woman, I wanted to shove them off of me. Yet, I couldn’t.

“It’s not a date. Well, not exactly.”

I didn’t move. Did I even want to listen to an explanation? First Alyssa, now this? Alyssa told me the truth - I had no reason not to trust her. Still, did I trust
Seth
?

“My friend thought it would do me some good to get away from work. He set it up.”

I lifted the door handle, refusing to pull the door open just yet. “It doesn’t matter anyway. We’re not together anymore.” A tear hit the side of my nose and I licked it off as it hit the tip of my lip. I backed up to open the door, and as I did, ran right into Seth.

He turned me around and there I stood, looking into those eyes. “Ally, you ran off on me.”

“Don’t.” I held the key between my fingers as though I were ready to poke him with them. “Don’t even try to make this my fault. You never even bothered to call. What Kate told you -”

“How do you know what she told me?”

“Alyssa.”

He backed away from me. “When did you talk to Alyssa? And if you know what Kate told me … wait, did Kate lie to me?”

I forced the tears to stay in as I contemplated my choices. Even if I despised Kate, she was still his sister. I didn’t want to cause a rift between the two of them, especially if I didn’t intend for us to be together again. “I’m not sure exactly what she told you, but she said you and Alyssa were out together. I thought you were cheating on me.”

“I wasn’t.”

“I realize that now.” I leaned back against the car. “Alyssa and I talked, for a long time. She told me everything.”

He squinted his eyes in confusion. “Everything?”

There was no use pretending the conversation didn’t happen. “I know about Willow.”

The pain in his eyes evident, he replied with a simple, “Oh.”

“Yeah. I understand this time it wasn’t what I thought. That doesn’t change the fact you lied to me, never called, and now you’re out on a date and it’s been maybe two weeks.” I laughed. “And to think I was going to try and win you back.”

“Win me back? I’m not a prize, Ally.” He crossed his arms. “Is this because of Willow? You want to get back together with me because you feel
sorry
for me?”

“No, I - “

“This is why I didn’t tell you.” He punched his fist into the palm of his hand. “Damn you, Alyssa! It wasn’t her place to say anything.”

“Don’t be upset with her. It slipped out while we were talking and she filled me in because I was clueless.” I reached out for his arm to comfort him, but he yanked it back.

“She doesn’t get to make that decision. Alyssa isn’t my wife anymore.”

“But she’s your friend.”

“And my friends don’t need to go around talking about my daughter and I don’t need you pitying me.”

How could I get out of this one? Of course I felt sorry for him. His past, however, had nothing to do with the future I wanted with him. I cared for him before I knew about Willow. He was scared, and damned if I wasn’t as well. If I said I didn’t pity him, I’d be an asshole. If I said I did pity him, he’d think I only wanted to with him for that reason. I was stuck.

“I don’t want to get back together with you because of what you lost. I care for you, Seth.”

His mouth parted, and I waited for a smile. I longed for a kiss, understanding and hope. Instead, as he turned around to walk away, he said one word, crushing me to the depths of my soul. “Don’t.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

I needed to get the hell out of town again. Yes, I had only been back for a few days, but after Seth tore me down, I couldn’t sit around the house and mope. Chelsea’s birthday was coming up on Monday, and with her pregnancy and epiphany over Daniel’s definite deadbeat status, she wouldn’t mind leaving town, too. We decided to leave Friday night, and spend the weekend in Wisconsin Dells, shopping, having caricatures drawn, and going on some tours.

The days dragged until Friday evening. My mom kept busy with Paul, I didn’t want to bother Perry every night on the phone, and Chelsea melted from exhaustion by the time she got home from work as she acclimated to her new position.

I booked our room at the Holiday Inn. Tourist season in the Dells was in full swing, and I was shocked to find a hotel at a reasonable rate. Since we were celebrating Chelsea’s birthday, I fronted the entire bill, so I couldn’t get us anything extravagant. A weekend at a spa resort, or even one of the full-fledged hotel and waterparks sounded spectacular, but I needed to remain smart about my choices.

On Friday, all packed and ready to go, I picked her up at her place an hour after work. In the next month she’d be moving back into her parents’ house as she prepared for the birth of the baby, so most of her one bedroom apartment was filled with boxes, making it difficult to maneuver. I helped her with her bag, tossing it into the backseat as she hopped in the car.

“Ready for this drive?” Chelsea asked.

“It’s only a little over an hour and a half. That’s not too far.” I started the car and began our ninety-mile journey.

“Have you ever driven a significant distance with a pregnant woman in your car?”

“Only in the comfort of my mother’s uterus.”

“Gross.”

“You brought it up. Besides, don’t forget you have a little one in yours. When do you find out if you’re having a boy or a girl?” My interest in Chelsea’s pregnancy had been lukewarm at best, and I
did
want to know about it. In a non-blood way, I’d be this child’s aunt. Chelsea was my best friend, and I planned on being involved in the baby’s life, too. In fact, I made a mental note to talk to her mom about planning a baby shower.

“Not for a few weeks yet. That ultrasound isn’t until I’m twenty weeks. I’m excited.”

“I bet. A little one for you to dress up!” Out of the two of us, Chelsea dressed more like a fashion model than someone just looking for comfort. In the summer, she usually wore skirts, even off of work time. The only time you catch me in one would be during working hours, or the rare date. In the fall, winter, and spring, she often dressed in nicer slacks and a blouse, with a wrap or sweater over it. She was so gorgeous, and I couldn’t understand why she couldn’t find herself a faithful, single guy ready to devote himself to her entirely.

She adjusted herself in the seat. “My parents are over the moon. My dad keeps talking about a grandson he can teach how to play baseball. My mom is throwing me the ‘I don’t care as long as my grandbaby is healthy’ line, but I know she would love if this little bean were a girl.” She kept her hands on her tummy, rubbing in a circular motion. “Ally, can I ask you something?”

“Definitely. Anything. What?”

“Nevermind, it’s dumb.”

“Go ahead, Chels. Ask me.”

With her hands still rubbing her tummy, she asked, “Do you think if this is a boy, he’ll turn out like Daniel? That he’ll treat women like crap?”

“Only if you teach him to. He’ll learn how to treat women from how your dad treats your mom, and how you allow men to treat you. You’re so much better than Daniel. Don’t forget, though, Daniel will be in your life forever now.”

“No, he won’t.” She turned her head to the window.

“Yes, Chelsea, he will. He’ll be a part of your life. You’ll see him at drop offs and picks ups when it’s his turn to watch the baby. Birthday parties, graduations. He’ll be there for all of it.”

“He won’t.” She began to sob. “He has made it very clear that he doesn’t intend to be a part of this child’s life at all. He doesn’t want Lauren to find out. I’m completely on my own.” She covered her face with her hands as the sobs came full force.

We just drove onto the freeway, so I pulled off as far off the busy road as I could, and put the car in park. “Oh, Chelsea. I’m so sorry.” I turned so she would allow me to take her in a hug. I stroked her hair. “You’ve got me, your parents, and so does this baby. You won’t be on your own.” In the time I’d known Daniel, I always considered him the King of Assholes, but never a coward such as this. How could a man completely separate himself from his child, pretend his own flesh and blood didn’t exist? She didn’t plan on pursing court action, but I assumed he’d at least help out somehow, even to drop off diapers, buy formula here and there, even send fifty measly bucks a month.