Cake Love: All Things Payne (16 page)

Chapter 5

Morgana's Problem: Slut Hands

It’s the day after my parent’s welcome home party for me, and Aria and I are walking north along the bike trail along Lake Michigan as it meanders away from the beach toward the park.

It's a perfect early June day, just warm enough with a slight breeze coming off the lake, and every person in Chicago is hanging out on the beach.

“So, you haven’t spoken to Henrik at all since the incident?”

Aria now calls what happened in the restaurant bathroom in New York,
the incident
. I have too many incidents with Henrik so I get confused.

“Which one?”

Aria leans in to whisper as if everyone around us will know what she is talking about, “You know, in New York when I got him thrown out.”

I haven’t told her I talked to Henrik on the phone yesterday. She seemed happy with Alexander, introducing him to my family. Everyone was happy; I didn’t want to ruin it for them. Aria spent the night with Alexander, so I was left alone with my thoughts of Henrik, while I battled for sleep. I didn’t win.

I’m tired and don’t feel much like having this conversation.

“Oh...yeah, no. I guess everything is over. Perhaps it was his way of saying goodbye.”

“That’s horse shit, pardon my Italian. Perhaps now that you’re back, you can go to his place and talk to him."

I nod to appease her, but I was actually planning to drown my sorrows at Got Cake. I missed that bakery while in New York. Don’t get me wrong, New York had some amazing bakeries, but Got Cake is like home to me.

It's getting close to lunchtime and I hear Aria's stomach rumble so we take a left and cross under Lake Shore Drive, past the marina, and into the neighborhood of Lakeview. We find a little sandwich shop and head in for some lunch.

Once we finish our meal, I head back outside while Aria finishes paying the bill. As I wait for her on the sidewalk, I glance across the street and see him. Henrik is in dark gray suit pants, a light gray shirt, and red tie. He has his sleeves casually rolled up and I notice his ink trailing down his arm. His hair is a bit tousled and he looks so good. I'm ready to call out his name when I notice a cute blonde exit the 7-Eleven store and sluttily touch his arm.

That's right I said sluttily. She is touching him; therefore, she is a slut. I know I am being awful right now, but he disappears from my life after confessing everything he did for me, and finally when I see him again, a cute little blonde in a slutty suit with her aggressively slutty hand is touching him.

I wonder if that is the woman I heard on the phone with him yesterday? I want to go over there, shove her away, and slap him. Then, I want to make out with him. Damn it! I'm going to find a doctor that can give me something for my overly horny vagina.

"Morgana!"
My Brain pipes up.

I really don't want a lecture right now from Brain about how I am being judgmental and that I know nothing about that woman.

"Look Brain, I know I am being too critical of her right now, I'm just hurt, alright,"
I explain.

"Oh no Morgana, she is clearly a slut. I was just going to tell you that if you want to get rid of her I am more than happy to help you out."
My Brain is eyeing the blonde with suspicion.

"What? Maybe I should just talk to him. Maybe he got a job and she is a co-worker?  Perhaps he is interviewing for the job and they just finished a lunch interview. I would ruin it if I went over there and acted jealous. Besides, we aren’t together anymore. He made that quite clear to me yesterday. He can see who he wants."
I try to rationalize.

"Or you could cut her!"
Heart pipes up and I notice hatred in her eyes as she stares at the blonde.

"Whoa! Shit just got real! I think I will just have a rational conversation like a normal person."
I shake my head.

"Fine. Whatever you want to do. But know this Morgana, we will support you in whatever or however you choose to handle this. And by handle, I mean take care of. And by take care of, I mean cut a bitch..."
My Brain surprises me by going along with Heart, who is nodding her head in agreement. I quickly cut her off before she talks about making the blonde disappear or making her an offer she can’t refuse.

I have been watching a lot of Dexter reruns and I think it's getting in my head.

"Ladies. Please. Just, stop."

"Hey Morgana. You ready to head ba... Is that Henrik?" Aria happily skips out the door with her belly full of ham and cheese until she sees what I see and comes to a halt.

"Yup." I am so confused that I can only utter one word.

"Who is that slut he’s with?" Aria notices.

"We told you Morgana. I think they sell knives in the 7-Eleven,"
Brain adds.

"You know what? I am not going to cut anyone, so let it go," I yell out.

Aria turns her head to me, scrunching her brow in confusion.

"What are you talking about Morgana? I said slut not cut." Aria slaps me on the back as she giggles.

I look back to where Henrik and Ms. Slut were and now they’re gone. My eyes dart around and I see them crossing the street and heading straight toward us. He hasn't seen me and I wonder if maybe I should hide and then follow him. He followed me in New York, so now I can do the same to him. Find out if he is with her or if they just work together.

I quickly dash behind a parked car beside the curb as Aria watches me. She nods in acknowledgement and runs back inside the sandwich shop as she watches through the glass window. I gasp as the car starts and exhaust fumes blast into my face. I have to close my eyes as I gag and cough. Then the car pulls away.

"Morgana?" Henrik’s deep voice calls over to me, and I look up to see him tilting his head with the blonde at his side.

I look frantically down on the ground and see a dirty wrapper, which I quickly grab as I stand.

"There it is." I shake my head and chuckle as I walk over to Henrik. I raise the shiny metallic paper in my hand letting them know I found what I was apparently searching for.

"Fell out of my hand. Thought I lost my lucky..." I examine it closely and discover it's a condom wrapper. Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath before I open them to see Henrik as he tries to cover a laugh.

"Your lucky what, Morgana?" His shoulders are shaking and his hand is now covering his mouth.

Smug bastard.

"Condom wrapper! My lucky condom wrapper. I mean, come on, doesn't everyone have a lucky something? If you think about it, what is worse, a lucky rabbit's foot, which is morbid by the way, or the wrapper from the condom you lost your virginity to?" I raise my brows and nod as if this makes total sense. But as I hear myself, I realize how disgusting I sound. When I glance over at the blonde who is now looking at me like I have the bubonic plague, my suspicions are confirmed: I am revolting.

I drop the wrapper and wipe my hand on my jeans.

"Your lucky wrapper is blowing away Morgana!" Henrik pretends like he is trying to catch it.

"Shut up." I say as I fold my arms over my chest.

"I'm sorry I haven't introduced myself. My name is Morgana Drake. I used to be Henrik's assistant." I smile and hold out my hand to the blonde, who looks like I am about to give her my plague.

"Oh, hi. I'm Zooey Mayer. I'm Henrik's partner." Zooey wraps herself around Henrik's arm and gives a squeeze, still looking at my hand in disgust.

Partner? Like partner for life? Like sexual partner?

"Cut the slut!"
Brain and Heart chant at the same time. Building faster and louder until I shake my head to cut them off.

Right at that moment, Aria slides up beside me and mimics Zooey's stance by wrapping herself around my arm.

"Hi, I'm Morgana's partner, Aria Dixon!" Aria leans into me and starts to nibble on my earlobe. Then I feel her tongue in my ear.

I snake out of her grasp and shake my head at her while wiping at my ear. "No! Aria what are you doing?"

She pulls me aside and whispers in my ear, "Trying to make Henrik jealous. Look at him! He is staring at us heartbroken. If he can have a partner, than you can have a partner."

Aria did this once at my parents’ holiday party. One of the neighbor guys was hitting on me and I really didn't like him, so Aria pretended to be my girlfriend. This is why my grandma thinks we’re a couple.

"It doesn't work like that Aria. I don't think he is jealous."

I turn back to face Henrik and Zooey, just as Aria drapes herself on me. Her head is on my shoulder as her hand snakes up my yellow tee shirt to cup my breasts. Then she takes it a little too far and brings both her hands up to squeeze the ladies. I swat her hands away. Aria turns to Henrik and says with a sly smile, “God, I love to snuggle up to Morgana’s boobs at night. Like two big, soft pill—“

I immediately cut her off. "Okay Aria, ha ha. Very funny. The joke is over now."

Looking over at Henrik, he appears shocked and aroused all at the same time, especially his penis, which is pointing directly at me. Glancing over at Zooey, she’s looking at Aria as if both of us now have the plague.

"I...uh...I didn't mean that type of partner. I meant business partner," a very shocked Zooey states as her eyes dart between us.

A tremendous sense of relief washes over me, as does mortification because of what just happened over the last five minutes. Zooey brings her wrist up and looks at it as if there is a watch there.

"Oh jeez, will you look at the time. It's late and I have to get back to the office. Thanks Henrik for a great lunch and we will talk more about your aerial ideas. It was...um...interesting meeting you both." Zooey starts to lean in to shake our hands but thinks better of it and just waves bye as she turns to leave.

"I think that was the most awkward end to a business meeting I have ever had." Henrik glances at me.

"Oh I don't know. I think the one where my boss came in and saw the empty condom wrapper on the table after you left was pretty awkward." I smirk at him as he winces.

"Now that my work here is done, it is time for me to leave. See you later Morgana." Aria pats me on the back and turns in the direction of the lake while walking away.

"So, does she really snuggle up to your breasts at night, or was it just a joke?" Henrik is staring at my chest as he asks me.

"Really? That's what you have to say to me after disappearing from my life for three weeks after dropping a bomb on me in a bathroom?" I cross my arms and realize this is actually accentuating my breasts so I decide to lower them to my sides.

"I know but there is a reason, I swear. Let's go to my place and I can explain it there. There are some things I have at my condo that might help you understand."

I nod my head and follow him. We walk about a block and I become confused when he leads me into a beautiful old brownstone building.

Chapter 6

Morgana's Problem: Letting Go

"Henrik, what is this place?" I ask as he pushes the elevator button to the building we just entered.

The lobby is beautiful with a 1920's hotel feel to it and a touch of industrial with black metalwork. Even the elevator is one of those old timey wrought iron elevator doors that have a spiral staircase curling around it.

"My condo building."

The elevator arrives and he pushes open the gate so we can step inside the small lift. Closing the gate, he pushes the six button and we head up.

"Oh, do you mean you own the building?"

That must be it. After the Mimir brothers fired him, he probably invested in some property to help supplement his income.  He shakes his head. “No, I don’t own this building, I have an apartment here.”

We arrive on his floor, and step out into a narrow hallway with wrought iron fixtures, block glass flooring, and painted black wood banisters.

We come to his door and he takes out the keys from his pocket, opening the door to 6B. His black door matches the décor of the building. Once he pushes it open, we step inside a modest apartment with typical modern features and open floor plan. The floor is light wood, and I can see the small kitchen has dark granite counters and light wood cabinetry. There is a bay window, which looks out over the street below, and a small electric fireplace in the corner. None of his furniture is the same. The décor is more IKEA now, instead of high end furniture. A simple white fabric couch with a blue rug and dark wood coffee table make up his living room. This entire space would fit into the living room of his old place.

I walk in and look out the window. Turning my head slightly, I can see him watching me as he empties his pockets on the plain white desk by the front door.

"Where is Winston?" I ask nervously. This is unsettling to me. I am used to Henrik having a large place to live, fancy cars, and a butler. Not that I am only interested in those things, but I really wanted to marry that condo that overlooked Lake Michigan. Then there’s Winston, he was like the man-servant I always dreamed of having. Most girls dream of their weddings or future kids, I dreamed of having a butler.

Not so much a butler, but someone who would bring me cake on demand. If I woke at three in the morning and wanted cake, I imagined I could ring a bell and within minutes, my man-servant would have a beautiful piece of cake on a tray for me. Of course, in my imagination the man was super sexy. As if Henrik was a man-servant who's only job is to give me cake. Oh God, this thought is really turning me on.

"Winston no longer works for me. I had to let him go a few weeks ago."

My breath hitches and I feel a large lump in my throat. I rapidly blink back the tears forming in my eyes, but it is of no use. I bring my hands to my face and a small sob escapes. Almost instantly, I feel Henrik's warm hands on my shoulders turning me so he can wrap me in his arms.

"Morgana what is wrong? I don't understand why you’re crying. I gave Winston a good recommendation, and I know that a nice couple who lives in my old building was considering hiring him. I am quite sure he will be fine." He strokes my head as my tears dampen his shirt.

"But will I Henrik? I never got...I never got to..." I can't get the words out as my voice wobbles.

Henrik pulls away slightly and crouches so we are eye level. “Never what, Morgana?”

I take a shuttering breath as I finally explain, "I never got to have him serve me cake! Like in the middle of the night or just after an epic shower. Oh God, the shower! I just remembered the shower. Please tell me you still own your old place?"

"It's for sale. I won't own it for long. I've had an offer this past week and agreed to it. I can't afford to keep it or Winston. I hope you understand Morgana."

I nod as tears still leak from my face and my gaze settles to the floor while Henrik wraps me in his arms again.

"I know. You have to do what you have to do. It was nice to indulge. I should have put a ring on it when I had the chance. I guess I just have to marry cake now. Monogamy is better. Cake can't be jealous that way." I try to reassure myself as I feel Henrik's chest start to vibrate. When I look up, I notice his eyes twinkle as creases form in his face from laughter.

"Oh I missed you Morgana. Come with me and let me show you what I have been working on."

He missed me? Then why did he ignore me and end things? As much as I can’t help but be drawn to him, find out how he is; I still want answers.

Henrik grabs my hand and leads me down a small hall with plain white walls. I notice a few pieces of framed artwork lining the wall from his old condo. We walk into the first room on the right, which appears to be a small office. He has a very large glass topped desk that fills almost half the room and I realize it is probably from his old place. The desk most likely took up very little space there, but in here it is a monster.

Letting go of my hand he walks over and rifles through the paperwork scattered over the desk. After a few moments, he pulls out a manila folder and opens it, waving me over.

"This is what I have been doing the past month. With the help of Zooey, of course."

“Yes Zooey. She seems to really like you Henrik.” I can’t help the bitterness in my tone.

Henrik glances at me from the side and shakes his head. “It’s really not like that Morgana. I’m not interested in her. Besides, I’ve been too preoccupied with what I really desire.”

My head turns to him as he drops his gaze to his desk. He obviously means his work. For a moment, I foolishly thought he might be talking about me. Shaking my head as the phone conversation from last night plays in my head, and I realize he can’t possibly be talking about me.

I glance down and see graphs. One paper is a spreadsheet of various countries. As I spend time glancing over the papers, I see information about infrastructure supplies and geological surveys of different countries.

"What is this Henrik?"

My head rises to see his face alit with joy. I have never seen him this happy before. Just being near his giddiness makes me smile too.

"It's an idea I had many years ago, but never followed through on it because I was too busy at Mimir. I eventually wanted to bring it to the Mimir brothers and see if they would want to incorporate it into the company. I thought we could make it a cause driven venture, but I kept getting sidetracked with work to invest my time to make it happen. Well, now I have the time."

I nod but still don't know what he is talking about.

"Yes, but you still haven't explained what it is."

Henrik palms his forehead and shakes his head. "Of course. Sorry. I just get so excited I forget not everyone knows what it is. I plan to build a company to help third world countries with their engineering and infrastructure. I help them get the supplies they need at a much lower cost, and gather investors to invest in technical schools to train their people to work on the buildings, roads, and bridges. I understand that in many of these countries the people have a very basic reading level, so I am trying to work with education professionals to figure out a lesson plan that will work. Anyway, it's in the very beginning stages. Zooey and I are trying to write up a business plan. I am thinking later on, when the company is successful, we can have our own planes and warehouses to help distribute the materials. Actually, your idea about the local distributors in Europe gave me that idea."

I’m in shock. This is something I never imagined Henrik would ever do. He has always been a stickler for detail and based on what I am looking at, I see that is coming in handy now.

"I also decided to take flying lessons. I had wanted to do that since college, but when my family died, learning to fly was the last thing on my mind. Over the years, I only wanted to think of work and not about anything that reminded me of my time before the car crash. But you have made me want to have fun again. Take risks."

"I have to say Henrik, I am impressed. You never told me any of this, except you did mention wanting to get your pilot license once but that's it. I had no idea you would be interested in engineering or anything like it."

He nods his head and shrugs. "Yeah, like I said I kept getting distracted with work and the people at work."

His eyes start to darken as he looks at me. Henrik reaches up and brushes his thumb over my bottom lip and without thinking, I flick my tongue over the tip. Pulsating waves of heat cascade down my body. I hear him groan as his woodsy scent reminds me how much I have missed being near him.

Then I remember the last time he touched me. He left without a word and disappeared. How, just last night he made it clear how busy he was and didn’t have time for me. His words last night cut me. Maybe New York made me stronger or my sleepless night last night allowed me time to really think about things, but I manage to find the strength to push him away. Henrik's touch usually causes me to liquefy but not now.

"No Henrik. You still haven't answered my question. Why haven't I heard from you these past three weeks? Why have you been ignoring me?"

He leans back on his desk, a few papers fall and slowly drift to the ground. I watch his muscles flex in his arms as the shirt material tightens from his grip. Just witnessing his shirt fill out has me questioning my decision to push him away.

"There are a few reasons why I disappeared. I had just started to work on all this and wanted to devote a lot of time to it. You were in New York and I knew you were busy with the program. I told you last night how I was busy and you were too; I was honest when I said that. I have done enough damage to your career, and the last thing I wanted to do was distract you from graduating. I had a meeting in New York with a potential investor when I saw you enter the hotel lobby with Aria. Luckily, I had just finished the meeting so I followed you into the hotel restaurant. I knew I should have stayed away, but seeing you...I meant it when I said I was selfish then. I had to touch you, see your face as you died a little in my arms."

Henrik let out a long breath before continuing, "I know I haven't treated you well Morgana. I clung to my stupid rules trying to protect myself from ever being hurt again. When you left after we were caught, I realized something. I wasn't devastated that I lost my job or even that you didn't say anything after I admitted my love to you. Knowing that I pushed you away and that I may never get you back was what broke me. You made me realize that love isn't a two way street. I hated my mom for never loving me back but when she died, I missed her. I couldn't understand why I missed someone I hated." Henrik shakes his head as he releases a nervous laugh.

"Then when you left it all made sense. I still loved you even when you didn't say it back. Even when I thought I might never see you again. So, I loved my mom even when she used me for show and died. I regret not coming to terms with that while she was alive, but I was too young to realize it then. Perhaps if she lived I would have discovered it. I don't know. However, I don't want to make that same mistake with you. I want to follow my dreams and love too."

Wow. Just wow.

There is nervous heat rising up my neck and burning my ears. He is being so open with his feelings. So honest. Not like the Henrik I know at all. It has been such a roller-coaster ride with him; I don't quite know how to assess this. Perhaps it is best I am honest with him.

"That was beautiful Henrik. But I asked cake to marry me." I smile as does he, but my joke doesn't do much to lighten the mood. "I’m struggling to respond, but I just don't know. I feel so much for you, and I think you know how easily my body responds to
Herr Henrik Von Spankypants." I smirk as he shakes his head smiling.

"But that isn't enough is it? Perhaps I am a bit weary of your words because all I know are your actions. Like you said, you haven't treated me well since I have known you. Hell, you walked out in the middle of interviewing me and sent Evaleen in to end the interview. That was shitty. And that was just the beginning. I am partly to blame for putting up with it, but I told you no so many times and you still took advantage of your power over my body. And by power, I mean your sex appeal."

I take a breath and look around the room, hoping to see something that will help me understand what I am doing here. All I see is blank walls, a large desk, and a black mesh office chair. There is nothing that can help me, not that I even know what I am looking for.

"I guess what I am trying to say is, maybe we need to walk away from this. I think the words ‘I love you’ should easily being falling from my mouth after your confession, but they aren't. It’s funny because the words fell from my lips last night when I hung up with you. But that was different. That was me letting it out, saying goodbye, because that’s what your actions this past month and a half have told me you wanted.”

A bitter laugh escapes my mouth and I shake my head before continuing, “I am going to be honest here. When you told me to come to your place and even when you brought me into your office here, I really thought the day would end with us having sex. Part of me really wants that, but not the part that holds my heart. I don't know. Maybe I just need some time. Does that make sense? You haven’t done much to prove you want to stick it out with me. Yes, you gave up your job, but then you walked away. What am I supposed to take away from that?"