Call Home the Heart (45 page)

 

 

No, she couldn't possibly risk the whole truth coming out, not until
until the volatile situation with Christopher trying to steal the
estate from her was resolved one way or the other.

 

 

 She would just have to keep silent until after she knew for
certain whether she had the right to Barnakilla or not. Then she
would take Lochlainn with her to Scotland, and break the news to him
there, far enough away from Christopher for him to have a chance to
cool down before he ever had the chance to set eyes on him again.

 

 

There will be time enough for us to be happy once the truth comes
out, won't there? she prayed as she washed the newborn infant, and
wrapped it in a blanket.

 

 

Brona smiled up at her wanly. "You look as though you're born to
hold a babe."

 

 

"Perhaps I'll be blessed one day."

 

 

"You already are."

 

 

Muireann started so violently, she almost dropped the bairn. She
tucked it safely against his mother's side. "W-w-what makes you say
that?"

 

 

"Women know these things." She winked.

 

 

"No, I'm sure I'm not, and in any case, I could never—"

 

 

"You're a woman in love, and that makes you truly blessed. And no
one could have achieved all you have here without being touched by
the angels."

 

 

"It's kind of you to say, but if the love isn't returned—"

 

 

Brona gave another small smile. "Just because he never said it,
doesn't mean he doesn't show it every day. We can all see it. You're
so wise about so many other things, Muireann. How can you be so
foolish as to think he doesn't love you back?"

 

 

Muireann sighed. "He wouldn't love me if he knew me really well."

 

 

"You're the partner of his heart. The mate of his soul. He knows
you. And you know him. You may never have said the words, but he's
your husband in every sense. Helpmeet, lover, protector, preserver
of your resources.  And one day, the father of your children,
for that's the only thing missing from what you share which can make
your life complete."

 

 

Muireann reached out to stroke the baby's cheek. "Perhaps one day,
but Brona, with this Famine, well, I just don't dare risk it."

 

 

Brona chuckled weakly. "You gambled your whole life coming here and
throwing in with us lot. I know you. You'll dare anything for the
man you love. Just trust to that love. Tell Lochainn whatever it is
that you've been holding back from him. He can't open up to your
love if you won't open to his, now can he?"

 

 

Murieann nodded. "You're right. I know. He said the same thing. I
can hardly reproach him for not telling me everything when I've been
doing the same thing all along. But Brona, what if I bare my soul to
him, and he hates me?"

 

 

She shook her head slightly, and snuggled the child more closely to
her. "He might be angry, but he could never hate you. Like I said, I
see two souls in such a union of bliss when I look at the pair of
you together, that I have no doubts about the depth of your love and
commitment to one another.

 

 

"No matter what it is you're holding back,  he can help you
heal your mind and spirit, just as you've healed his. You both
deserve the truth. Tell each other everything, and move forward into
the future brimming with confidence, not cowering in fear."

 

 

"Amen to that," Muireann said with a smile. "I only wish I could be
confident. But this Famine—"

 

 

Brona patted her hand.  "You're the most resourceful person
I've ever met. If it's possible to save us all, you will, I know
it.  I only wish there were a male equivalent of your name, for
I would certainly name my son after you if there were."

 

 

Muireann's eyes brimmed with tears.  "Name him after his
father. He's a good man."

 

 

"But you can be his godmother, if you're willing to stand up for
him, that is.  I know we would want Lochlainn as godfather."

 

 

"Oh, well, I, er—"

 

 

"Confidence, remember?" She winked again. "It will be fine, you'll
see. Now, I think I'm ready for a little nap. So why don't you go
find Lochlainn, and start mending some of those fences, all right?"

 

 

Muireann rose from the edge of the bed. "All right, if you're sure
you don't need anything else."

 

 

"No, we're great. And you have a great estate to run. So thank you,
and off you go."

 

 

Muireann impulsively stooped to kiss them both, and left the cottage
with a determined tread.

 

 

She might not be ready or able to tell Lochlainn the whole truth,
but Brona was right about one thing. Her future was here at
Barnakilla. She loved him, loved them all, and she was equal to any
task if she put her mind to it.

 

 

She loved Lochlainn. Body and soul, one flesh, one heart, one mind
and spirit.  For that, she would risk anything.

 

 

She headed up the path with long strides, determined to lay a solid
foundation for a secure future for them all. Everything she had done
had been to save Barnakilla. She had no reason to be ashamed. She
would make sure that all her sacrifices had  not been in vain,
and prove herself worthy of his love no matter what.

 

 

All their futures depended upon it.

 

 

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

 

 

At around nine that morning, there was tap at the door to her
office.

 

 

Muireann looked up as Lochlainn put his head around the door,
stony-faced.

 

 

"I'm not here to argue with you, Muireann," he said directly. "I
just came to tell you that there's a ship coming up the lough. It's
the
Andromeda
. I thought you would at least want to come
down to the jetty."

 

 

She tried to disguise her relief at the news. Pray God it had
brought food and supplies.

 

 

"I'll be right there," she murmured, avoiding his gaze.

 

 

She tugged her disheveled hair into a long plait before scrubbing
her face and hands in the freezing water in the basin, and dusting
off her midnight-blue gown. Then she threw her long black cloak over
her dress.

 

 

 Yanking up the hood, she raced down to the jetty as fast as
her wobbling legs could carry her. She couldn't believe her good
fortune. All of her prayers had been answered! The
Andromeda
was here! What a present for the New Year! Her prayers had been
answered. Brona was right. She was indeed incredibly blessed.

 

 

The boat docked and the crew immediately began to unload the stores.
There were casks of wheat, yellow meal flour, and oats, as well as
bushels of turnips, leeks and beets.

 

 

Her heart lifted with every barrel and crate that streamed past her.
If they husbanded their resources carefully, there would be enough
food to get them through the winter after all.

 

 

Muireann ran down to the dock expecting to see her cousin Michael,
eager to thank him and hear his news.

 

 

Instead there were two figures on the jetty. A tall man with graying
dark brown hair and an amiable expression turned to greet her.

 

 

Muireann blinked in astonishment, and threw herself into his arms
with a whoop of joy.

 

 

"Neil! And Philip! How are you?" she asked all in one breath as her
brother-in-law twirled her around as he usually did, though not
quite as heartily, since he had immediately noted her thinness and
pallor.

 

 

Philip, dapper and brown-haired, blushed at this extravagant display
of affection, and remarked shyly, "I hope you don't mind. I wanted
to come along for the ride. I've heard so much about your life here
that I confess I just had to come and see all you have accomplished
for myself."

 

 

She took Philip's hand. "Mind? Don't be silly. I'm delighted to see
an old friend. And of course, a great deal of this would never have
been possible were it not for you giving me the use of the
Andromeda
in the first place."

 

 

She blushed self-consciously at the state of her dress, hair, and
callused hands, a stark contrast to the well-groomed, worldly
gentlemen who stood staring at her as though they would never have
known her. She had lied to them about her life just as much as she
had to Lochlainn.

 

 

"Alice isn't here, is she?" Muireann asked in a worried tone. "I
mean, not that I wouldn't be absolutely delighted to see her and the
baby, of course, but as you see, I wasn't expecting guests."

 

 

Damn it, another lie, she thought to herself as the gracious words
flew out of her mouth, and she colored again.

 

 

By this stage Lochlainn had seen more than enough. He was certain
that Muireann was ashamed of herself and Barnakilla in front of
these two handsome men. Moreover, he noted the unstinting admiration
on both their faces.

 

 

Though he knew that Neil was certainly no love rival, Philip seemed
just the type of man for her. The type of man he could never be:
aristocratic, intelligent, wealthy, and unbelievably handsome with
his classical good looks. The fact that Muireann had known Philip
since childhood and had never wed him did not even occur to
Lochlainn.

 

 

By the time Muireann looked around to introduce Lochlainn to the two
newcomers, he was already long gone.

 

 

She disguised her disappointment behind a wide smile. "Come now,
everyone, there's no sense in standing here. You must be frozen.
I'll see to some refreshments first, and then give you a quick tour
of the estate."

 

 

The two men exchanged looks, and each gallantly offered her an arm
as she stepped off the boat and led the way up to the house.

 

 

She brought them directly into her large cozy kitchen.

 

 

Lochlainn tried to slip out unnoticed, but she fixed him with a
sharp look and called, "Lochlainn, this is my brother-in-law Neil
Buchanan, whom I've told you so much about. This is his brother
Philip. Lochlainn is my estate manager, well, my partner, really.
Thanks to him, all of this has been possible."

 

 

"Now don't be modest, Mrs. Caldwell. You've done everything without
much help from me," he said gruffly.

 

 

She offered the men some refreshment in her office, and Siobhan took
them out the back way so that they wouldn't have to see just how
crowded the house was.

 

 

As soon as they had gone, she whispered to Lochlainn, "Where on
earth are we going to put them? The houses are all full."

 

 

"I'll move out of the cottage for one night."

 

 

"No, I couldn't ask it-"

 

 

"You aren't asking, I'm offering. Besides, I told you, if you
planned to staying with my sister, I would leave the two of you
alone for a few days. So really, it's no trouble. When are they
leaving?"

 

 

"Neil said he wants to sail again tomorrow. There's some urgent
business I heard him discussing with his brother."

 

 

"I wonder what it could be."

 

 

She shrugged. "He reassured me that my sister is fine."

 

 

Lochlainn put his arm around Muireann's delicate shoulder briefly.
"Then don't look so worried."

 

 

But she noticed when she took in the tea that the two men were
looking at each other every so often.

 

 

They think I've taken on more than I can handle, she concluded
inwardly as their unease became more and more apparent.

 

 

"This is quite an enterprise," Neil said with a broad smile after
she had filled him in on how successful the timber business was
becoming.

 

 

"I'm lucky to have a manager like Lochlainn."

 

 

"Forgive me, but wasn't he here in Augustine's day?" Philip asked,
disapproval evident in his tone.

 

 

She shook her head, and looked at him coldly. "He wasn't here until
after Augustine had run the estate into the ground, and asked for
his help. He never got to see him, though, not for more than a few
minutes. Lochlainn had only recently returned from Australia.
Augustine was already in Scotland searching for a suitable bride to
bail him out of his financial difficulties. Lochlainn met us at the
docks, took us to the hotel, and then had his supper in the lounge
by himself. He was downstairs when the accident happened," Muireann
said crisply.

 

 

"I see. So he can be trusted?"

 

 

"Implicitly, Philip," Muireann said with a lift of her chin.

 

 

"In that case I have to tell you that your father is very ill,
Muireann, and I think you should come home now before, well…"

 

 

"Father? He's never been ill a day in his life," Muireann said,
suddenly wary.

 

 

But Neil explained, "It was a stroke, several days ago now. He is
paralyzed down one side. The doctors say another one would certainly
kill him. All his affairs are in order. He may even get better. But
I think you'll want to be there."

 

 

She stared at him in horror, then nodded. "Yes, yes of course. I'm
sorry. It's just that you took me by surprise. I never imagined… But
how can I leave now, of all times?"