CALLEN (Second Chance Novels Book 3) (17 page)

"The rest of it…I don't know, but I can't lose you."
 

My heart soars as his lips find mine. With slow, needing passion, he parts my lips with his tongue and kisses me deeply. His arms move around me, pulling me tight against him. I grip his strong back and marvel at the heat between us making the water seem cold in comparison.

His surrender to his feelings for me is undeniable in this kiss. I wasn't fooling myself at all. The man holding me is no longer holding back. There is no psychologist, no broken soldier standing in this shower, only a strong man giving himself to a woman ready to receive him. I give myself over in equal measure.

His hands explore slowly along my body with a strong grip on every curve. Decadently he experiences my hips, my breasts, and the roundness of my buttocks. His erection strains against my belly as he slowly pulls my leg around him.
 

"I've wanted you too long," he breathes along my neck. The strength of his arms lifts me up, and one step of his powerful legs has me pressed into the corner. My own hands grip the walls beside me as my head falls backward. The graze of his teeth along the skin of my collar bone swirls through my body in pure pleasure.

He adjusts our bodies until I feel his erection searching for me. Without a word, I look him in the eye and reach my hand toward his thick cock and guide him inside me. A groan of pleasure rolls from his chest as a breathy sound eases from mine.

"Quinn…" he breathes again as he moves slowly. I can sense his focus on me. The world has fallen away, allowing him to be truly with me. Finally, I quit analyzing him and simply let myself
feel,
and what I feel is pure ecstasy. His cock moving deliciously inside me joins the grip of his hand and the pressure from his lips to consume each of my nerves in waves of pleasure. The surrender of his heart lifts my own to a height I never thought possible. The sensation of his velvet tongue dancing slowly with mine causes a swirling mist to consume my thoughts. Callen's presence alters every reality.
 

As our bodies grind intensely together, the connection between us grows into total abandon. He pushes against me harder, grinding and gripping as the sounds from his chest grow more desperate. I meet his hips for every thrust, locking my legs around him tightly and moaning out my pleasure in a higher and higher pitch. I hold nothing back from him.
 

As I hear his voice grow desperate, he forces out a question. "Do I need to pull out?" he rasps tightly.

I shake my head, never more thankful for birth control pills. "Stay..."

With a groan of relief and pleasure, he works me fast and hard, bringing himself to orgasm inside of me. I'm so close, and so damn glad my new lover isn't selfish. He continues to move against me, his focus solely on me now. He meshes his words with the grind of his hips, bringing me higher than I've ever been.

"So beautiful, Quinn."
 

His satisfied, melted voice floats to my ears, deliciously contradicting the strength of his plundering. I have no idea how he combines the two, but they serve to lift me yet again.

In total surrender, I let go of every bit of my background fear and tension. The small part of me afraid this isn't real is shattered by his words, allowing me to give myself over to the pinnacle of pleasure. My orgasm explodes through my body, sending shockwaves of pleasure and happiness through every curve of my body and edge of my brain. My body and my heart rest in pure satisfaction.

His smile warms my mind, body, and soul. He kisses me deeply and softly before he separates our bodies and sets me down with care. He guides me from the tile, tends to me with a soft towel, and watches while I comb through my hair.

I take his hand and walk him to my bedroom. "Stay tonight," I offer, already knowing his answer.

His tension has been pushed aside for the moment, leaving room for
us.
We tuck ourselves into my bed and he pulls me over to rest on his broad chest. I run my fingers slowly through his chest hair, taking in the pure-male strength surrounding me.
 

"You can do that all night," he says in a satisfied voice. I smile softly to myself and press my lips over his heart. "That, too," he murmurs.

I kiss his chest again, and then again, and then again, all the way up to his lips. He wraps me up and kisses me in a display of total connection, shifting me to my side and facing me. Shadows of angst slink behind his eyes, but he allows himself a reprieve with me in his arms.
 

Intimacy weaves around us as we finally give ourselves the chance to be together. He traces my cheekbones as we kiss, and I lock my arm under his and up around his shoulder. We cling tightly. His complexity is as fascinating as it is endearing.
 

His eyes keep mine for a long moment, deep emotion swirling behind the crystal-blue. He repeats to me a phrase I'll never tire of hearing. "How are you
so beautiful
?"

He leans in slowly and kisses me. Sweet emotion flows into me from his entire body as he rolls me to my back and settles over me. The strong planes of his chest and the hardened power of his shoulders trap me gently below him.
 

Without another word, Callen slowly makes love to me. Sincerity filters through every touch, and love laces every breath between us. The perfection of his form, though masculine and enticing, pales by the beautiful look in his eye.

At one point, he pushes his hand slowly up my arm inch by inch, and he watches his fingers intently. I turn my head to watch with him as the gentle friction brings our focus solely to his hand. Though his hips continue to move with mine, it's his hand which holds our attention. The long, slow journey of his fingertips gently halts as he laces his fingers through mine, resting palm-to-palm on the pillow beside my head.

We both gaze at his strong, tanned grip tighten around my delicate hand, pushing down and trapping my entire forearm below his. He repeats each subtle move with his other hand, with his eyes this time watching mine. By the time both of my hands are pressed strongly down beside my head, His breathing is strained with the intensity of the moment. I'm completely trapped…until I realize I'm not. The significance of his grasp lies in an entirely different reality: I'm experiencing his leadership.
 

He's leading me, directing my body, and reuniting himself with his own strength. I want to weep in happiness to see this shift in him, and for knowing I helped to inspire his return to himself.
 

For him alone, I close my eyes and let him have me. I share in the moment with him.
 

"No, look at me," he whispers. Our shared emotion astounds me.

I meet his eyes again and breath slowly with the rhythm of his body moving with mine.
 

"You're not alone," I promise, squeezing his hands in return.

We continue to gaze into each other as we make love, grinding slowly and moving quietly together. I grip him with my legs as he keeps my hands locked in his. I can feel each of his muscles flex over me, his hard planes meeting my soft curves in beautiful contrast.

Meeting his gaze becomes increasingly more intense as our bodies build the tension between them. The friction grows slowly hotter and the intimacy pushes at us from all sides. The intensity is nearly too much, but I can't look away.
 

Seeing him so exposed is beautiful and intimidating. I silently promise to be strong enough to stand beside him. I know, no matter how daunting the task, I will be the woman he needs. I'm the woman he loves, and he's the only man I've ever met who's worth the effort he'll require.
 

The moves of his body, though increasing in passion, remain slow. His hips push heavily against mine, but he savors every subtle sensation between us. This man has no hurry for satisfaction, but rather has the maturity to appreciate the journey. Slowly, steadily, his body pushes me to the apex of pleasure. Only a mist of sweat along his back demonstrates his devoted precision.

"Beautiful," he whispers again.
 

"Callen…"

"How are you
so beautiful
?" he whispers again, slowing his hips even more, but pushing more heavily in tiny, subtle movements, bringing my focus to the building heat between my legs. He dedicates himself to me completely, watching me as I travel closer and closer to the edge. He watches with soft, greedy eyes.
 

"You won't hold back," he murmurs.
 

"No," I breathe out shakily, unable to ignore the immense pleasure of being trapped below him and subtly plundered by him. His selfless love-making has me soaring, and I find my orgasm building. In total abandon, my jaw drops and my back arches up into him. A breathy sound forces from my chest as I finally climax, my orgasm flowing beautifully through my body.

He whispers to me, still keeping my eyes locked in his. "So beautiful, Quinn."

A dreamy smile softens my face as I watch Callen continue to make love to me. His rugged features and liquid-blue eyes hold my attention as love and pleasure swirl within. He keeps my hands and pushes down harder, but still he doesn't rush.

His passion builds in deeper intensity moment upon moment until the strength of his satisfaction overwhelms him. A deep groan escapes his chest as his body stills.

Neither of us breathe for a moment as we suspend ourselves in connection. A sense of love washes over me when he breaks the spell to place a single, gentle kiss lightly on my lips.

He releases my arms and settles beside me so he can tuck me into his chest. I let my fingers move through the hair resting over his strong pecs again, inspiring a contented sound from his lips.

We drift into sleep contentedly together, but when I wake at two in the morning, the pillow beside mine is empty and cold.

CALLEN

After an hour of driving and attempting to separate my thoughts, I sit in the gravel outside of my car in the dark and miles away from a woman
so beautiful
. The beauty of our evening has taken its leave of me completely, leaving me in anguish again.
 

I couldn't stay with Quinn, I can't be at the office, I can't bust into Mason and Sofia's house at three a.m., and
my
house only reminds me of Evelyn and how I became so lost in the first place. Being with Quinn tonight took me to a place I've never been, but ultimately did little to change my reality. Such is the tragedy.

I am simply nowhere.

The closest stronghold I can reach is Quinn, but I cling too hard to Evvie to grasp for the woman who gave herself to me willingly and purely. I can't imagine living without her insight at this point, and her body soaked into me like a drug.

She is
so beautiful
. I can't fathom how she can understand me, accept me, know the depth of my dysfunction, and give herself to me anyway. She finds good in me I'm not certain is there. She loves me.

I nearly fell over when she opened my eyes to the concept of loving her.
But only if some part of you loves me
. I snapped at her for asking, because she snapped something inside of me.
Of course I do,
I blurted, because I finally recognized the reality.

In that moment, however, guilt over Evvie pressed in on me. Betrayal became my foundation. Quinn shone brightly in front of me anyway.
 

And goddamn Spades! He's a fucking mercenary! He kills as an empty man, not out of righteous duty or for a greater good. He kills without nobility, and sickens me for his lack of pride.
 

I focus, too, on the fact I've never enjoyed killing. I enjoyed being part of a mission and a team of honorable men. For Spades to become a merc, there must be a part of him which values death over justice. He enjoyed killing Evvie on some level. There's no other way he could have beaten a woman to death, and destroyed his own brother so completely.
 

In overwhelming disgust, anger, confusion, and grief, I turn to my side and vomit. I stay on my knees and breathe heavily with my head in my hands. My entire world is broken.

Tiptoeing into my mind again, however, is the peaceful vision of Quinn. She repairs a part of me, and has the capacity to heal more of me. I don't know if I can let her, not in my current state of mind. Until I avenge Evvie,
the moment
I bring her killer to justice, I might move forward.