Calls Across the Pacific (4 page)

Nina held Eileen's hand. “I'm so sorry for your loss.”

Eileen said, “He's resting in peace. We hope the war will end soon so no more sons will die.”

Mike stopped playing the piano and looked at Nina. He seemed to have perceived the question in her head. “America entered the Vietnam War to stop the spread of communism,” he said. Then looking at her curiously, he asked, “You escaped the communist regime, didn't you?”

“I was raised in communism. But after the Cultural Revolution began, especially when my father was jailed, I rejected it.” Nina breathed deeply and told her new friends about her family. “In the end, my father took his own life,” she said. She had lost her father to the revolution on the land across the Pacific. Eileen and Bruce had lost their son in the war across the Pacific, too. These two realities, she felt, created a bond between them that warmed her.

That night, Nina tossed and turned. Dahai was in her dreams. He was staring into the distance, as if he were trying to see through the world. Then he turned and said, “I'm confused.”

Nina imagined Dahai running through bamboo-blanketed hills, a rifle in his hands, bullets criss-crossing over his head, and bombs exploding. Dahai fell, struggling to raise his blood-soaked face to ask for help. In her dream, Nina stretched out her arms but was unable to touch him. She tried to say, “You're a lost sheep,” but she could not utter a sound. Then she watched as a lamb collapsed on the grass. Its face was stained with blood, and its feet struggled to stand. Snow-white clouds inched across the crystal-clear sky and cast shadows on the yellow-green grass.

Her knees weak, Nina fell on the grass too, her hands covering her tear-filled eyes. Then the words of a woman from her Bible study group resounded in her ears: “God is watching our journey. If we're lost, God will call us again and again until we're back on the right path.” Nina prayed to God to guide Dahai and save him.

The following morning, Nina brooded over her dream. She hoped that Dahai was well. She would no
t understand the meaning of her dream until years later.

4.
UNCLE TOM'S CABIN

S
CHOOL ENDED IN JUNE
. Nina looked out her window and noticed the tree in the backyard full of thumb-sized apples.
Summer is coming,
she thought with relief. She was excited to have just gotten a full-time job at
a potato chip factory that would help her earn tuition fees
.

On her first day of work, she arrived at the one-storey building on a second-hand bicycle. She met with a middle-aged foreman who gave her instructions and a uniform. After putting the white uniform on and tucking her bobbed hair into a net, she got her card punched and followed the foreman into a workshop. She surveyed the equipment: two long conveyer belts starting in the hall and extending into another room. Rows of seats flanked the belts. An aroma of potato chips flavoured with barbecue or sour cream or vinegar and pepper hovered in the air.

“You work at this section,” the foreman said. “Pick out potatoes with dark spots.” He pointed at the green boxes along the conveyer. “Put them there. Simple?”

“Yes, sir,” Nina answered, heading over to the workers already standing by the conveyer belt.

The foreman told Nina, “Follow the others. You'll learn quickly enough what to do.” He glanced up at the clock on the wall, turned on a switch, and the machines hummed.

The first group of peeled potatoes on the grey belt eventually moved in front of Nina. Next to her was an African-American, introduced to her as Jasmine, who quickly picked up a potato and placed it into a green box on a stool beside her. Nina caught one but did not see any black spots, so she put it back.

“Look! Get that one,” said Jasmine, one hand catching a potato and the other pointing to yet another potato right before Nina's very eyes.

Nina caught it and thanked Jasmine.
She realized she needed more practice.
Amazed by Jasmine's sharp sight, Nina wondered how soon she would be able to easily spot the unwanted potatoes. Meanwhile, she tried her best to catch up with the other seasoned workers. The moving potatoes passed her like a bubbling brook. Her arms moved up and down as if she were ploughing through the bubbles, and the undesirable potatoes eventually filled the box.

At lunchtime, Nina followed the others into a multi-purpose room. Sandwich boxes and coffee cups were scattered on the tables. Chatter filled the room. Some workers lit cigarettes. Nina sat down, and the blonde girl next to her said, “Hi! I'm Carol. Are you new here?”

“Yes. I'm Nina. How about you?” Nina asked, smiling at Carol.

“I've been here about a year,” Carol said. “I finished high school last year but have to make some money to help my family. I'm going go to college in September. Are you in college?”

Nina shook her head and told her she was in an adult high school. “How do you like working here?”

“Boring, but I don't think I can find a better paying job,” Carol mumbled as she chewed on her sandwich. “Unless I have a diploma or degree.”

“What are you going to study?”

“Occupational Therapy, but I'm not a hundred percent sure if I can get through it.” Carol bit her lip. “My mom's always under the weather.”

Puzzled, Nina asked, “Do you mean she feels cold?”

Carol chuckled. “I mean, she's ill.” She noticed Nina's embarrassment, and added, “Your English isn't too bad.”

Nina felt a hand on her shoulder and heard a woman's voice say, “I thought you couldn't speak English.”

“Why?” asked Nina, turning her head.

Jasmine stood behind her. “Aren't you Chinese? I thought Chinese people didn't speak English.” Jasmine gave her friendly, toothy smile, then nodded and said, “Back to work.”

Not knowing what to say, Nina nodded and mumbled, “Nice meeting you.”

The afternoon slipped by. All the potatoes with flaws did their best to roll away, but Nina learned to spot and catch them.

Two weeks later Nina got her first pay cheque: $140.
She was elated. She could put food on the table now.
She always got an uneasy feeling when she had to line up with the elderly and children for the donated canned food and staples distributed by the church, which she brought back to the house so she wouldn't use up all of Eileen and Bruce's own supplies. She placed the cheque in her wallet and thought that someday she would also be able to pay them some rent for her room. After work, she got on her bicycle and rode to Hannaford Supermarket where she had been with Eileen. In the supermarket, she was always amazed at the variety of fresh and frozen food and almost got lost among the shelves fully loaded with tons of colourful packages. She picked some meat, vegetables, and fruit, and then pushed her buggy into an aisle of canned food. She gaped at the tins with pictures of dogs and cats. She was stupefied until she picked up a tin and understood that the food was meant for pets.
She chuckled but was still astonished at the attractive pet food packaging.
These cans look nicer than any cans of food for people in China,
she thought
.

That evening, when Nina sat at the desk in her room, she rubbed her sore hand and reached for a grade eleven textbook from the pile of books. Visions of flowing potatoes still flashed in her head.
S
he told herself she must try harder while recalling a Chinese myth about a young man preparing for the ancient imperial exams who had to keep himself awake by jabbing his bottom with a gimlet and tying his long hair to a beam.
I don't need to do that,
Nina thought, shaking her head. She just
needed to forget watching
TV
and focus on her studies.
Her plan was to graduate from high school within the next year. She drummed her fingers on the desk and imagined the day she would receive her diploma. After receiving her diploma, she would be able to get a better full-time job, and she would be able to live a simple and much better life than the one she had lived on the military farm.
Do I know what I want eventually to do?
she wondered, remembering her letter to Gui's Wife, which briefly outlined the details of her new life. She had not been able to specifically articulate what she hoped to do when she graduated and she wondered if Gui understood all that Nina hoped for in this new land.

The text on the page suddenly blurred in front of her and her mind wandered. The past flashed in front of her, sucking her in tight and deep as though it were a dark and endless hole. She could hardly breathe.
How is Mother? she thought. Did she get my letter? Is Dahai in Vietnam or in jail? Is Rei alive or dead? She was haunted by these questions and worrying about her family and friends made it difficult to focus on her reading.

She was interrupted by a knock on her door, followed quickly by another. Eileen's voice rose. “Nina, can you join us?”

Relieved to be called away from what was bothering her, Nina opened the door. Eileen beckoned her to follow. Downstairs, in the living room, on the table in front of them, was a cake lit up by a multitude of candles. The overhead light went off, and the candles flickered. With wide smiles on their faces, the couple sang, “Happy birthday to you!”

I'm twenty-one years old!
Nina counted. She had forgotten her own birthday. She was not even sure of the last time it had been celebrated. Her memories of birthdays had been erased by the Cultural Revolution. Such celebrations had been criticized and abandoned because they were considered part of a bourgeois lifestyle. Staring at the flames dancing on the wicks of the cake's candles, Nina found her eyes blurred by tears.
They are celebrating my birthday!

“Make your wish,” Eileen reminded her.

I wish I could go to university.
She blew out the flame. The illusion of candlelight remained in her head like a star guiding her path. She suddenly realized that going to university was what she really wanted to do, despite the fact that
educated people are targeted in the Cultural Revolution and the horror of that reality still lived somewhere deep inside her
. Now, she fervently hoped that
getting a better education in this free world would help her find answers to her questions about China and the Cultural Revolution that had shaped her life.

“What did you used to do to celebrate a birthday?” Eileen asked, her tone revealing her curiosity.

“My mom used to cook some noodles with fried eggs for me,” Nina replied. Joyful memories crossed her mind. “Sometimes we went out for a meal and ice cream.”

“Food seems to be part of birthday celebrations everywhere,” Eileen said with a chuckle.

Sweet cake and pleasant chat erased, for now, Nina's gloomy feelings about her shadowy slowly passed as the aim of going to university became clearer to her.

Nina befriended Carol. From her, she learned about various colleges and universities, and also admission procedures. She was delighted to know that there was no family background check required for any applicants. In China, candidates with undesirable family backgrounds, such as landowners, the wealthy, anti-revolutionaries, and rightists, would not be accepted to universities.

One Saturday, Carol took Nina to visit Bowdoin College where Nina had dreamed of pursuing her higher education. When she drove along Federal Street, Carol pointed at a beautiful two-storey Colonial-style building, which Carol told her had been built in 1806. It was painted white, had large windows adorned with black shutters, and a red brick chimney on its roof. “Have you heard about this house?”

The sign read: “Harriet Beecher Stowe House.” Nina shook her head. “What about it? It looks like an inn.”

“It is now. But it was the house in which Stowe lived and completed a well-known novel,” Carol said with an elated tone. “Have you heard about her?”

“No. I know about Mark Twain and Jack London. What's her novel about?” Nina asked, her eyes fixed on the house. She wondered if this woman's book was something like
Jane Eyre
or
Wuthering Heights
. Those novels were banned during the Cultural Revolution, but young people enjoyed reading them secretly. Nina had read many foreign novels translated into Chinese.

“It's called
Uncle Tom's Cabin
.”

“Oh!” Surprised, Nina said, “I've read it before! It's about a slave in the South, who finally escapes to the North. I didn't remember the name of the author.”

“Wow! Did you read it in China?” Carol glanced at Nina.

“Yes. A Chinese version.”

“I read it when I was in in the eighth grade,” Carol said.

“Have you ever heard about the war epic,
Romance of the Three Kingdoms
or
Dream of Red Chamber
?” Nina wondered whether these Chinese classical novels were known to Americans.

“No,” Carol replied as she parked the car. “But I did read
A Many-Splendoured Thing
by Han Suyin and
The Good Earth
by Pearl S. Buck. Their books are about China.”

“I don't know anything about those books.” Nina sighed, realizing the red door of China had been closed too tightly for too long. She got out of the car and she and Carol headed over to the campus. “Is it expensive to study here?” she asked.

“A private college is usually much more expensive than a state university,” Carol explained, her ponytail swaying as she walked. “That's why I'm going to Lewiston-Auburn College, part of the University of Southern Maine. The tuition is considerably less.” Carol paused in front of a building. “Look. The Admissions Office is in there. If you need any information, you can go inside to ask.”

The campus visit helped Nina form a clear picture of her future in which there would be new mountains to climb and new rivers and lakes to cross. Some days it would be sunny, other days cloudy or rainy. But she was ready. She felt challenged and excited and she could hardly wait.

The next day at lunch, Nina sat with Jasmine, who asked, “Do you go to church?”

“Yes, on Sunday. You?”

“Of course. I'm rich because I have God in my life,” Jasmine said, her face lighting up.

Nina asked, “Have you heard of
Uncle Tom's Cabin
?”

“Definitely. It's about my people, but I don't know how much she understood us.” Jasmine shrugged her shoulders. “She didn't walk in our shoes.”

“Do you mean the author?” Nina asked.

Jasmine nodded, and then opened her lunch box.

“Well, how about Lincoln then?” Nina said. “He wasn't black, but he helped abolish slavery.”

“Lincoln's grandma was black,” Jasmine said as she started to pull out her food and then line it up on the table in front of her.

“Are you sure?” Nina was puzzled; she had not known that. She decided to
add Lincoln's biography to her reading list.

“I'm positive.” A proud look on her face, Jasmine added, “Did you know that Jesus was black too?”