Calls Across the Pacific (9 page)

Nina patted his hand and turned to look up at him. “It's
The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich
.”

“It's about Hitler, right?” Bob asked with surprise. “Why do you want to know about him? Is he more interesting than me?” he asked in a teasing tone.

“I'm interested in Hitler's Reich,” said Nina, “because I am wondering how his policies led to the Holocaust.”

“I don't understand why you're attracted to politics,” Bob said. Yawning, he added, “Years ago, at college, I switched from a business program to a simple cooking one because I got bored.”

“I think I'll keep going.” Nina's mouth twitched into a smile.

His head bent over her face, and he said with a grin, “You are too beautiful and too sexy to have your head inside a book all the time.”

She stood up and kissed him as a response.

He wrapped his arms around her and took her to bed. He could not fathom her passion for politics: today it was about the Nazis and the Holocaust, the next day it was about communists in Cuba. He believed his body language told her that life was not only about books and studies.

The holiday passed. It was soon time for Nina to return to school. At the bus terminal, Nina and Bob embraced for a long time, as if they might never see each other again. Bob would not let her go until she promised him she would visit at least one weekend a month.

9.
BUTTERFLY MYTH

T
IME FLEW AND THE
spring of 1973 arrived. Saturday morning, Nina did some chores, and then, with a stack of books tucked under her arm, she went to a computer lab. An essay was due on Monday, but she was only about halfway done. She struggled through the whole day. At five-thirty p.m., she hurried away from the lab as Bob was coming to take her out to a meal. She had chosen to see him only once a month since she needed to double her efforts to catch up with other students. English was not her first language, and it always took her longer to read the required course texts.

On the way back to her suite, she passed the security office, and a clerk called out, “Nina! Are you available this evening? I can't find anybody else to replace Bill. He's just called in sick.” Before she could decline, the worker said again, “Please help. We need escorts for this evening badly.”

She looked at his anxious face and had to nod, yes. Her steps slowed as she worried about how she would explain this to Bob. It had been a month since she had last seen him. She knew he was counting on going out with her that night. As she approached her dorm room, she heard Bob's lighthearted laugh from inside. She unlocked the door and saw Bob sitting with his leg crossed over his knee at the table in the living room while Mabel was standing in her doorway, smiling.

“Ah, you're earlier today.” Nina dropped her books on the table and opened her arms.

“If you're unhappy, I can leave and come in again,” Bob said, standing to hug her.

“She's always as busy as a bee,” Mabel said and disappeared into her room.

“Are you hungry?” Nina picked up her books and went into her room. Bob followed.

After he closed the door, he embraced her, and his hand unbuttoned her blouse. “Yes, I'm going to eat you,” he said, his lips brushing her breasts.

“Mabel's still here,” she said, patting his back.

“If you're quiet, she won't hear us.” His hands slid under her clothes and in between her thighs.

She felt tickled at his touch, but she stifled her giggles. “Let's go to supper.” She raised her head to kiss him back as she stopped his hands.

He drew in a breath. “Then we'll go to a movie according to your plan.”

Nina dreaded telling him she couldn't go to the movie. “Would you mind going to the movie with Mabel?”

“Why should I go with her?” He lifted his head from her face and looked at her warily.

“One of the escorts called in sick.” She breathed with a sigh. “They need me to fill the shift. I can't say no.”

“Why don't you think about your own needs as well as mine?”

“I do. I decided to be with you,” she said, feeling that she wasn't being understood. “Even though I need time to finish my essay, I still bought the tickets for us to be together.”

“Okay, my sweetheart.” He smoothed his shirt. “Let's grab a bite to eat.”

After returning to the apartment, Nina handed him the tickets. “The movie starts at six-thirty. At nine o'clock, I'll be back. The rest of this evening will be ours.” She needed to spend some time with Bob before starting to work on her essay. She peeped at the door and said, “Mabel's in her room. I bet she'll be glad to keep you company.”

At work, Nina felt anxious and regretted leaving Bob with her roommate, a younger, more charming girl. Also, guilt rose in her heart.
Am I being selfish?

She arrived home first. Fifteen minutes later, Bob and Mabel walked into the apartment and said goodnight to each other. She opened her door, and he came in, whistling merrily. Nina hugged him. She glanced at his face and noticed a trace of lipstick. “Did you kiss her?”

“She kissed me. Just a friendly kiss, nothing else,” he said. “You chose a nice movie. We both enjoyed it.” He said the word “both” with a special tone.

“Did you…” Nina hesitated for a second. “Did you kiss her?” She quivered.

He shook his head, and his mouth covered hers. They were together again. Into his kiss she melted.

At the end of April, Nina had five exams. Two of them were very difficult. One night, she dragged herself to the suite after her shift and was surprised to see a note from Bob on her door. It read, “I dropped by and waited for you for two hours, but you didn't show up. I decided to take Mabel for a ride. I left a hamburger for you in the fridge. See you tonight.”

She opened the refrigerator and took the food out. With an appreciative feeling for Bob, she ate her late supper at the table. Before she finished it, the door pushed open, and Mabel came in alone. “Where is Bob?” Nina asked.

“How should I know?” grumbled Mabel, raising her eyebrows. “We went to a bar together. Then he drove me back and left. He didn't tell me where he was going. I suppose he went to a nightclub.” She entered her room and closed the door.

Nina didn't know what to say. Too weary to do anything else, she went back to her room and lay down on the bed, despondent and anxious.

Later, after recuperating from a brief nap, she looked over her course notes for her very last exam, which was tomorrow morning. A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. She strode to the living room and opened the door and there was Bob. Rubbing her eyes with her hand, she drew a deep breath. “You're back finally,” she said with relief.

“You, too.” He smirked. When he followed her into the bedroom, his gaze fell onto the book lying on the table. He muttered, “Am I bothering you, busy girl?”

“Sorry. I didn't expect you to come today,” she lowered her voice and closed the door. “After class, I went straight to work.” She held his arm with her hand. “Where have you been?”

“Do you care?” he answered. “I met a woman at a bar. Had fun.”

“You…” She felt her throat tighten, and she could not speak. Her hand on his arm loosened.

“You're always studying,” he added. “Don't blame me.”

“I have an exam tomorrow. I can't discuss this now,” she said. “You know college is important to me. I don't want to fail.”

“So you're going to study tonight,” Bob said. “Your dorm will be closed soon. Are you going to come to the motel with me?” Seeing Nina shake her head, Bob left alone, in silence.

The next morning, Nina got up early and thought about phoning Bob at the motel, but she was afraid of waking him up, and besides that, she didn't have much time to talk, so she did not call.

At the motel, Bob could not sleep. He searched his mind and tried to get a clear picture of the past few months. From time to time, he had lowered his expectations of her, anticipating that Nina would soon have more time to be with him. He had not been able to get used to her lifestyle, and he needed more. He made up his mind, picked up a pen, and scribbled a note: “Dear Nina, it's better for us to say goodbye to each other. I don't want to suffer or to wait hopelessly for you to have more time for me. We are through now.”

After her exam, Nina returned to her apartment and rushed directly to the telephone. She called Bob, thinking she would invite him to lunch, but nobody answered. When she called the front desk of the motel, she learned that he had checked out. She turned around and spotted a note lying on the floor under the door, almost hidden by the door mat. She read his words twice before she understood what he meant. Her mind went blank; she crumpled the note slowly with her trembling hand, held the wad of paper tightly for a while, and finally tossed it into the garbage bin. Tears trickled down her cheeks.
We are through.
Bob's words resonated, and her head throbbed.

Though she had misspelled a number of words and made a bunch of other mistakes, Nina passed her exam and was thus qualified as a Political Science major for the following school year.

Nina got a full-time summer job as a cashier in a department store located in a shopping centre. On the first day, the manager showed her how to use the cash register. Then she was trained with an experienced cashier.

Two days later, she started to work at the cash register on her own. The store was having a large sale and business was brisk. Registering the discount off the regular price into the cash register slowed her down.
You just need more practice,
she told herself.

After work, she dragged herself home. Wearily, she lay flat on her bed, stretching her sore back and rubbing her stiff fingers. For a few evenings in a row, she reviewed working with the cash register in her head. The visual practice helped her perform better at the actual job and within a couple of weeks she was as fast as her fellow workers.

One morning, after several customers checked out, a young man hastened over to her. Strangely enough, he tossed a pack of pink hairpins on the counter. “How much is this?”

They're nice hairpins for little girls,
Nina thought while she pressed a few keys and pulled the hand crank. “That will be one dollar and four cents, please,” Nina said, as she looked at the display. The fellow gave her a two-dollar bill. As soon as the drawer of the register popped out, the youth lunged toward the machine and grabbed a few stacks of bills from the register's slots with one hand and pointed a knife at Nina's face with his other hand. Nina froze, her knees weak. The robber dashed away. A thought flashed in her mind:
It's more than three hundred dollars. That's almost two months' rent for me!

“Stop him!” she shouted, whirling around the counter to chase him.

She sped up but suddenly a hand gripped her arm. “Stop!”

She turned around and saw the manager standing in front of her, panting. “Are you crazy? Money is not that important!”

“What do you mean?” asked Nina.

“Your life and safety are more important!” the manager said. His face was pale, and his eyebrows rose. “I don't want anything to happen to you. Don't do that again!”

At that moment, she remembered Bob's answer to her question about being robbed: “I'll give him my wallet and run away as fast as I can.”

Thinking about Bob touched her weak spot, and she felt tears welling up.

“Are you okay?” her boss asked, patting her on the shoulder.

“I'm fine, thanks,” Nina said, feeling relieved. “I appreciate your help.”

“Don't worry about the money.” The manager comforted her. “You don't need to pay for it.”

Back inside the store, the manager called the police immediately and reported the robbery.

That night, when she lay down in bed, Nina recalled what had happened during the day. She became frightened all over again when she imagined the robber slashing her throat or even killing her. Bob's words about life being more important than a wallet crossed her mind again.

The next day was Sunday. She hesitated for a moment and lifted the phone receiver. Before she finished dialling, she stopped and perched herself on the edge of the bed for a moment while a memory of Bob flooded her mind. Finally, she picked up the phone and punched his number.

She held her breath as she heard a young female's voice say, “Hello?”

After a second of hesitation, Nina asked, “May I speak to Bob?”

“He's still in bed. May I take a message?” the woman said with a yawn.

“No, thanks,” Nina answered and hung up the phone. Flopping onto her bed, she knew she had completely lost him. Pierced by an acute loneliness, she sobbed. Their paths had crossed briefly and the only some nice memories would remain. She reached her hand out to the night table and pulled out a tissue from its box to wipe away her tears.

In September 1973, Nina started her junior year. When she didn't have any classes, she went to the library to read. Sometimes, she took notes for later use from a pile of periodicals. One day, she hurried along the hallway and passed an Asian woman, who spoke to her. “Are you going to the library?”

Nina slowed down and smiled back. “Yes, are you?” The woman was in her forties and looked familiar to her. She scoured her memory for where she had seen her before.

“I work in the library. I often see you in the reading room. Seems you're always busy,” the librarian became talkative. “I came from China.”

“Me, too,” Nina said. “Did you come here a long time ago?”

“My family escaped to Hong Kong after the Communists took over Mainland China. I was just a little girl when the landowners were denounced. I still remember how scared my parents were since they were landowners themselves.”

“I don't know much about that period. But I know enough about the political persecution during the Cultural Revolution.” Nina then asked, “How do you feel about your life now?”

“I'm quite happy. Now the relations between these two countries have improved. I'd like to visit China someday,” said the librarian. “But the Red Guards are really terrifying.”

“I think most of them have been sent to the countryside. They were used by Mao to attack his political rivals. They may've learned a lesson by now.”