Camera Shy (24 page)

Without breaking the kiss, he lowered her onto the bed. Lying over her, their hands clasped together on the bed on either side of her, he kissed her until she couldn't remember what day it was. His kiss was still gentle, tender, but this time it felt like the calm before the storm, and they drew it out, savoring it. Her heart pounded faster with each passing second. She wanted him, ached for him, but still they lingered in this gentle embrace.

They were both eerily in control, unusually calm, but Simone could feel herself rapidly losing her grasp on that control. An odd, almost intimidating tension hung between them, a feeling of being on a precipice, as if they both knew once they started, once they went beyond this calm, controlled point, there would be no stopping. Jason broke away just long enough to get a condom. Then he was over her again, holding her to him and kissing her gently. He wasn't inside her yet, though. Close to her, touching her, but still just beyond her reach.

Her breath caught in her throat as Jason shifted his weight, releasing her hands and propping himself up on one arm. They were still in control, but rapidly sliding toward that inevitable precipice.

His mouth left hers and he bent to kiss her neck, lingering just beneath her jaw and releasing a sharp breath against her skin. "Allyson," he whispered, the unsteadiness in his voice telling her he was quite possibly farther gone than she. A shudder made him catch his breath. He hadn't just said her name for the sake of saying it. There was something else, something yet unspoken.

Stroking his hair, she waited for him to finish what he had to say. She bit her lip; they were inching closer and closer to that edge.

Finally, he lifted his head and looked into her eyes. He kissed her lightly, their lips barely making contact. At last, he said it: "
I need you
." She opened her mouth to respond, to tell him she, too, needed him, but the barely-restrained desperation in his voice destroyed any chance she had of speaking. She let herself surrender to this overwhelming desire for him and lifted her head off the bed to kiss him.

As his tongue parted her lips, she wrapped her legs around his waist. He didn't hesitate, sliding into her so slowly, so deliciously, painfully slowly, drawing out the breathtaking sensation until it drove her nearly to tears.

"Jason," she whimpered against his lips, holding his shoulders and rolling her hips back to accommodate as much of his cock as she could take. "Oh God, Jason . . . ." He buried his face against her neck, his lips brushing her skin as he whispered,

"Jesus, Allyson . . . ."

Their every movement seemed to be in slow motion. Slow, but more intense than anything she'd ever experienced, his deep, rhythmic strokes inside her as languid and gentle as they were fervent and desperate.

He raised his head and looked into her eyes, his expression an overwhelming mix of lust and emotion that very nearly brought tears to her eyes. She had never felt so wanted, so needed, and she had never wanted or needed a man as much as she wanted and needed Jason Connor right then.

She put her arms around his neck and drew him down into a deep kiss, rocking her hips in time with his slow strokes. His arms slid under her back, pulling her into a full embrace as he returned her kiss.

Their lips parted briefly as she released a shuddering breath, and she held him tighter as the first tremors rolled through her. Like everything else, her orgasm happened in slow motion, her body coming undone piece by trembling piece. She moaned against his lips, but couldn't let him go, couldn't stop that deep, sensuous kiss even as the shockwaves rippled up her spine, needed to taste him just a moment longer, just a heartbeat longer, just—

"Oh God," he groaned, his lips leaving hers and letting her restrained cries escape, the escalating sounds of their simultaneous releases mingling in the narrow space between their mouths.

"Jason, oh God . . . ." she moaned.

"Jesus," he growled. He took one last, deep stroke, shuddered, and went still.

He kissed her, just his lips against hers, until the aftershocks calmed and their bodies stopped trembling. "That was," he said finally, "insane."

"Incredible."

He smiled and kissed her gently, started to lift himself off her, but she stopped him. He cocked his head. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she said, running her fingers through his hair. "I just don't want you to move."

He hesitated for a second before settling over her again, careful not to rest his weight on her chest. "I'll stay here as long as you want me to," he said with a soft laugh. She smiled and kissed him, wrapping her arms around his neck again. On her way to Tofino, she'd anticipated the kind of wild, landing-where-they-fell sex that usually happened when she arrived. She'd needed him, craved him, desperately wanted him to fuck her within an inch of her life, but this . . . . She shivered. This slow, tender,
intense
reunion was like nothing she'd ever experienced.

Chapter Forty-Two

Simone avoided Jason's eyes as they sat on his couch, the silence hanging in the air. She chewed her lip; she came here because she needed to talk, to be able to talk face to face, but the words refused to come.

He took her hand in his, his warm touch comforting, sweet. The brush of his thumb along her palm sent a shiver through her.

"I don't even know where to start," she finally said.

"Neither do I."

She looked at him at last. "I feel like I've known you my whole life," she said.

"But I know nothing about you."

He nodded, running his tongue across his teeth as he considered his words.
Stop doing that, Jason;
that tongue is not helping me stay focused
.

He raised an eyebrow. "What do you want to know?"

"Anything. Where you're from, your family, where you've been." She glanced at the exotic knick knacks on his mantle. "You've traveled, I assume?" There. That was a safe, comfortable topic to start with. One that just stalled them getting to the uncomfortable stuff, but it was a start.

Following her gaze to the mantle, he nodded. "I traveled a bit while I was in the Navy." He shrugged. "Nothing overly exciting." He took a breath and held it, tonguing his lip absently. The air bristled with something unspoken. He rubbed the bridge of his nose, and said, "I met my wife on that ship."

Simone's blood froze. "Your—"

"
Ex
-wife," he added quickly, his lips tightening.
Time to just jump in and pry, Simone. Get it all out now
. "How long were you married?"

He looked at his left hand, thumbing his ring finger as if in search of a wedding band. "Three years." His eyes narrowed and his teeth clenched.
Danger, danger, proceed with caution
. "What happened?" He exhaled hard and pressed his fingers against his nose again. "Came out of left field." His tone was venomous with fury. "We were at the hospital, when she had the baby—"

He's got a kid. Oh my. Well, at least I'm not the only one hiding a baby
. Her gaze flicked around the room, searching for evidence, a photo, a knick knack, but nothing suggested a child had ever been here, let alone that he had one of his own.

"The baby was, I don't know, an hour or two old. Then some bastard I'd never seen before comes barging in and demands a paternity test." He sighed.

"Oh my God, Jason," Simone whispered. The pain in his voice cut her deep. The shameful memory of the devastation in Gregory's face burned in her gut. She wondered if her ex had ever talked about her like this, with pain in his eyes and hatred in his voice. She couldn't have blamed him if he had.

"The thing that killed me," Jason continued, "was that she didn't seem all that surprised. She really didn't. If anything, she was pissed that he'd blown her cover." He shook his head. "I was the last to know. I've never felt like such an ass in my entire life."

"And the baby—?"

"His." The viciousness in his tone raised goosebumps on her arms, but when he looked at her, his eyes were sad. "One minute, I'm on top of the world: a loving wife, a brand new son. And the next . . . ." He gestured sharply with one hand. "Nothing."

"I'm so sorry." What else was there to say?

He exhaled heavily. "Well, I've killed the mood with my confession." He raised an eyebrow. "Same question."

Simone's mouth went dry. The whole point of this trip was for her to tell him everything, to confess the lies she'd told him over the last couple of months, but that was before she learn about his past. Shit. What could she say?
Well, Jason, I basically did
the same thing to my husband, including the damned paternity test, but mine was splattered all
over the tabloids so the whole world knew about it, except for a heartbroken
photographer in
Canada who seems to be the only one who doesn't know who I am
. She took a breath. "I'm divorced. Three years ago." His eyes silently prodded her to fill in the details. Biting her lip and dropping her eyes, she said, "It still, it's still hard to talk about."
Especially after you told me
your
past, so now I'm scared to death to tell you . . .

"You don't have to finish."

I should, I really should, you need to know, but I can't, not without telling you
everything I've lied to you about, and I'm just not sure I can do that yet
. She took a breath, but the words stuck in her throat.

He stroked her palm with his thumb and changed the subject. "You've mentioned you and your sister don't get along. What happened?"

"She and I both wanted to act. We both had big plans from the time we were kids." She swallowed. "But Carolyn got pregnant when she was fifteen. Ten years later, when I was seventeen, I got my first real role." Simone sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "She never forgave me for succeeding. It was like a slap in the face to her, since

she was suddenly saddled with a kid and her baby sister was actually getting somewhere with acting."

"But"—Jason furrowed his brow—"It was her choice to have a baby, not yours."

"I know. But she didn't want to see it that way. Our brother was doing well then, too; his band was getting it together. She—"
What? She nearly cost him his record deal and
resulting success? Go ahead, Simone, see if he asks what band then, and see if you can explain
yourself out of being the high-profile sister of the lead singer
. She wet her lips. "Well, she made a few phone calls and damn near cost him everything his band had worked for."

"Wow," Jason said. "I can see why the two of you don't get along."
You have no idea
. "It's better. We're working on it."

"That's admirable."

"An exercise in futility, if you ask me." She gritted her teeth, swallowing the knot of fury that her sister always brought out of her.

He squeezed her hand. "We don't have to do this now."

"Yes, we do," she said.

"Not everything. It'll all come out as we go along." His thumb stroked her palm again. "When you're ready, I'm listening."

I'm not ready. No way. But I need to tell you, Jason. I don't want to keep lying to you.
You need to know
. She took a breath, but before she could speak, he changed the subject again.

"What really brought you to Tofino? This isn't exactly a dream destination."

"I needed some time away. To relax, take a break. A friend of mine has a cabin on the other side of town."

"Some time away from what?"

"Work. Life."

"You said you're an actress?"

"Yes."
And a damn good one, apparently, since I've been filling your head full of tangled
lies that I'll never be able to weasel my way out of without you hating me
.

"Stage?"

"Some." She hesitated. "Mostly film."

He blinked. Then he laughed. "I knew the camera loved you. So what have you been in? Film? Television?"

She shrugged. "Not a whole lot. A few feature films, but probably nothing you've seen."
Otherwise you would have recognized me a long time ago
.

"Interesting," he said with a nod, but he didn't press. Then he furrowed his brow. He cocked his head. "Yet you're—"

"Camera shy, I know." She stared down at her wringing hands. "It's . . . hard to explain. It's a long story."
One I need to tell you sooner than later, but obviously don't have
the guts to do so
.

"I don't want to interrogate you about your life. I'm just curious about you."

"Likewise."

He put his other hand on top of hers. "But I do want to get to know you more. I know I put a damper on things, with what I said before you left last time—"

"No, not at all. It just, it made me think."

"About?"

She shrugged. "About what I want out of this."

"And?"

"I still don't know."

He hesitated. "I guess I really don't either. I just—" He shrugged. "I can't pretend not to feel something for you."

"I know."
If you only knew how much I can pretend, you'd never believe me if I told you
what I really feel. Hell, I don't even know what I really feel
.

"I guess we'll see how it goes then, from here on out." Forcing a smile, she said, "I suppose so."

After a long pause, his mouth broadened into a mischievous smile. "I finished with your pictures."

Another subject change. Rather than getting annoyed, she was relieved and followed suit. "Oh?"

"Would you like to see them?"

"Of course!"

His thumb traced the inside of her palm, doing it on purpose this time, and she couldn't hide the shiver that ran through her.

He grinned. "It's going to cost you."

"Is it now?"

"It is."

"How much?"

He shifted his weight and leaned toward her. "It's negotiable."

"Give me a starting bid."

His lips were almost touching hers now, and his hand slid around her waist.

"How about every stitch of clothing on that body of yours?" With a wicked grin, she said, "You're going to wear my clothes?" He laughed, his breath warm against her skin. "No, I'm not." His lip brushed hers as he spoke. "But neither are you."