Candescent (The Opalescent Collection Book 1) (29 page)

R
aven is a fool, an ignorant, inconsiderable excuse. A drunken idiot would be merciful to fit his name.
I thought, my hand clutching the pouch of herbs beneath my pillow. There he stood in the doorway, his hand to his head. He was tired and still not fully conscience. He deserved it though. I pretended not to notice him.

“Your Allies are waiting for you. They are about to leave.”

              I slowly rolled out of bed to my feet and left my room, avoiding Raven. The pouch of herbs was left under my pillow. My Allies were huddled at the bottom of the stairs, already dressed in their coats. They appeared clean, but the stench of the night before was still wafting around them.

              I let out a heavy sigh, entering the plumeberry cloud that hung above them. One by one they all hugged me goodbye, still in a sleepy daze, almost rushing to get back home. Their memory seemed hazy and they remained somewhat uninterested in me. I was sure they couldn’t recall the night and what Raven had said, so I was thankful.

“Goodbye my Queen. We all had a wonderful time. The feast was lovely. All of the food was delicious.” Tassie said quietly. 

“Let us know when you’re going to have another feast,” Olend said. Everyone agreed, smiled, and said their goodbyes all at once.

              I said my goodbyes, watching them leave. Rasha was the last one to hug me. “Goodbye Chenille. I’ll see you soon. Raven will keep me updated about everything.”

“Take care Rasha. Let everyone back home know I said hello.”

“I will.”

“Thank you Rasha. Thank you for all you’ve done for me.”

“If you ever need anything at all just send me a message.”

“I will keep in touch.”

“And let me know if anything should happen to Pete.”

“You’ll be one of the first to know.”

              She nodded, gave me a final warm smile and met up with Rallen who waited for her. “Get home safe,” I called.

              They looked back at me, gave me a final wave and turned back to their path that would lead them home. I watched them travel on the lantern-illuminated cobblestones until at last they were consumed by the dark woods. I was glad they were finally gone while also feeling sad at the same time. I stood in the cold alone, thinking. I knew that was my last feast.

              I selfishly made my decision and because of it, I knew I would never see any of my Allies again. I wouldn’t see them or hear from them again.

              I went back inside, up to my room, pondering my decision. I would finalize it. To my surprise, as I entered, I saw Raven. He stared down into his hands that caused his mouth to hold open in astonishment. Then I noticed he held the pouch. His eyes gazed up at me swiftly. His mouth suddenly snapped shut, clenched in anger.

“How could you do this? How could you even consider this?”

“How did you find that?”

“I could smell it over a mile away. Once you left I grabbed it.”

“Give it back to me.”

“Give it
back
?  Why should I?”

              I walked up to him. “I am your Queen. Give me those herbs.”

“No, it’s for your own good.” He held the pouch out of my reach.

“Give it to me Raven!”

His hand trembled and he obeyed. Surprised, I clutched it tightly. He looked away, hating what he’d just done. “Why Chenille? Please tell me.”

“Go away Raven. Don’t trouble yourself anymore. You’ve done enough.”

“It’s because of me, isn’t it? It’s because of what I said last night.”

“Yes, that’s why.”

“I couldn’t control myself. I didn’t know what I was saying.”

“You spoke the truth. What you said about me was true, at least most of it was.”

              He shook his head. “No, what I said was all wrong. All of it was wrong.”

“Do you even remember what you said?”

              He paused. His eyes flew to my hands. “No,” he said honestly, “I don’t remember a word that I said.”

“Then you can’t say you were wrong.”

“You don’t have to do this.”

“Please leave Raven. I don’t want you to see this.”

He walked back, eyeing me closely, cautiously. Each step was hesitant, each breath uneasy. When he reached the doorway, he spun around and flew down the stairs. I heard him scream for Caspian. I closed the door behind him knowing it was too late. I sat down on the bed, gazed at my Eternal Mate. I saw how peacefully he slept. I opened the pouch and I did not hesitate or resist the urge to pour the powder down my throat. I swallowed the bitter herbs without regret.

I wanted to be like Pete – asleep and carefree. He was content and he didn’t have a worry in the world. He wasn’t guilty as he slept, for guiltiness didn’t exist. I willingly sank back into the pillows. The herbs began to take their course. The herbs would relax my body to numbness and put me into a deep sleep like my own Eternal Mate.

Here comes Raven and Caspian. They’re too late
, I thought.

I could hear their heavy footsteps, the pounding anxiety that drove them to me. I heard Raven’s voice explaining to the doctor what happened. He was describing the pouch and the herbs. By the time they reached the door, he had told the doctor of its horrid odor.

“I know what it is.”

“It smelled disgusting. I knew it was bad…I knew it was some sort of poison.”

“Be quiet Raven. I can’t think straight.”

Now they were at my bedside. Caspian grabbed his medical bag.

“She took it from you, didn’t she?”

He picked up the small pouch at my side to examine it. I watched him close his eyes sadly. “I know exactly what it was.”

“Will she be ok?”

“She will end up like Pete.”

“Will she die?”

“No, she’ll just sleep.”

“That’s not too bad.”

“It sounds better than what really happens. She will sleep deeply with nothing to wake her, not even time itself. I have seen this happen to vampires. I’ve heard stories of them staying asleep for years until their Eternal Mates had them killed. They knew reincarnation was the only thing to bring them back, even though it’s rarely successful because of this herb.”

“Why do you even carry around those herbs?”

“These herbs are popular and are requested by vampires that want to end their lives. It is painless and almost assures an impossible reincarnation.”

“There’s nothing we can do?”

              The doctor did not answer him. He started to examine me. He touched my skin, examined my eyes, and held my hand.

“There isn’t much we can do now. She’s already taken the powder. She’s already lost her strength. She can barely hold my hand.” He paused to look at Raven. “What did you say? What did you do that caused this?”

“According to her, I told the truth.”

The doctor looked down at me. His sapphire eyes filled with tears as he lost me. He couldn’t save me. “Can you still hear me Chenille?”

“Mhm.”

“Can you still speak?”

“Not really.”

“Why did you do this Chenille?”

“My people deserve better Caspian.”

“Deserve better? Who do they have now? You don’t have an heir.”

“If Pete doesn’t come back I want you to take charge. I know you can make the right decisions and you can find a new King if you don’t want to rule. I trust you Caspian.”

“This is your fault!” I heard him hiss.

“Don’t blame Raven. He wasn’t the one that gave me the powder. He didn’t shove it down my throat either. It’s not his fault.”

“Then whose fault is it?”

“It’s my fault.” My words started to slur together and it was difficult to speak.

“I wish I could stop this.”

“Caspian, do me a favor. Take off my Ceremonial Rings and put them in Pete’s hands.” Caspian did as he was asked. “Good, now they are where they belong.”

My head rested against the pillows, hardly able to support itself. Caspian couldn’t bear to watch me any longer. He knew he couldn’t help and he was a healer.

“Please go Caspian. I will not keep you to watch my fate. You don’t deserve it.”

He nodded and moved away. “Is there anything left I can do for you?”

“Just go and take Raven with you.”

“Ok.” He looked away and headed out nearly as fast as he’d come. Raven followed him.

              I watched and listened as they left, taking in all of the sounds they made until silence enveloped the room. There was a sickening deathly silence. I was alone.

              My body became weaker and weaker with every passing moment. The strange thick powder was branching throughout my body. My veins felt icy, my skin was cold, and I shook without control. I could only feel my tongue that was like a heavy weight in my mouth. If I didn’t know better, I would have thought it was swollen. I feared I would literally choke on my words if I needed to speak.

              My breathing was shallow, my chest heavy with fluid that ran into my throat and caused me to choke. Only my eyes remained intact while I suffered. These herbs were not as
painless
as Caspian claimed. The pain continued.

             
I must be deteriorating from the inside out
, I thought fearfully.

              This sickening feeling was worse than any cold or disease. It was more irritating than any stomach virus. I could feel it running through me and I wondered why I was still awake. Perhaps my body needed to go into shock and remain asleep as some sort of defense mechanism. But how long was I supposed to wait?

              It wasn’t bad enough. I wasn’t crying out, but thinking about it, I probably wouldn’t have been able to if I tried. I tried to close my eyes and shield them from my own shaking body, hoping they would remain closed but they didn’t. I was wide-awake.

             
Perhaps I took the wrong herbs. Maybe Caspian was wrong. He said I would sleep, relax and be in a coma. Did he lie to make me think so? Did he know how detrimental these herbs would be to me and he covered it up by telling me lies? Or did he tell me the truth? Are those symptoms still to come?
I thought.

              I wanted to call him and ask him myself. I wished I hadn’t sent him away, not only for him to answer my questions but to comfort me as well.

“Caspian,” my voice only managed a hoarse whisper. “Please come Caspian. Please come back. I need you Caspian.”

              My words didn’t travel far, I knew, for I could barely hear them. It was comforting to hear myself speak. Without the silence, it wasn’t so bad. There was no response of course. No one came, not a sound could be heard.

              I looked to see my Eternal Mate. He was still asleep. I had the urge to break the silence again while my eyes rested on him.

“Pete.” I knew he would not respond. He would not move.

              He stayed as still as stone, still breathing, and not even able to hear my words. With my strength I put my hand against him, rolled my head off the pillow to rest on his shoulder. With my little movement, I succeeded in moving to a position that made me comfortable. I was content.

              At
least when I go I will be here. I will be with my Eternal Mate, like it’s supposed to be
, I thought.

              Quietly I mumbled the Ceremonial words to myself. “Be mine forever for I am Pete Silver. I will be yours forever, for I am Chenille Silver. May we be bonded by the strongest immortal love.”

              I let out a sigh and started to think. I remembered when we’d first said those words. I saved Pete, or so we thought. And that night changed everything. That changed our fate to this. Our mistakes cost us so much and had we known it, we would have changed our minds about certain things. We never would have said those precious words. I held onto his hand with the Ceremonial Rings. I was not fit to wear them. I wasn’t a good Eternal Mate either.

“I should’ve been the one to have a Trial. I would’ve deserved it. I would’ve deserved a torturous heart like you. I would have paid for what I did wrong, like you did. Even though I don’t have an immortal’s heart, I can feel the pain too.” I said aloud.

              My body began to relax while I spoke. I sunk into the soft sheets, found comfort, and was disappointed. I wanted to feel myself pay as my Eternal Mate did. I thought back to the Trial. I thought back to Sebastian. I knew Pete changed. He was a good King, or so I’d heard. A
good King
. It wasn’t too hard to believe.

              I thought about Prusaious and I wondered if she was killed by Pete or not. Perhaps she was really still in hiding. I thought of my Allies, the wolves, and my father. They all could’ve done better on their part. When Sebastian held me captive they all could’ve helped. They were all selfish and I didn’t blame them. I thought of Guardian, Sebastian’s griffin, and wondered if he died when Sebastian was destroyed. Maybe he became like Jasper – wandering alone.